Ingxabano phakathi kwabahlobo bethu yinto enzima. Yingakho sihlala sifuna ukukunceda ukuqonda imeko, ngokuthe ngandlela-thile izinto ezihlazileyo kunye nokunye. Kodwa ngokusoloko kwenzeka ukuba uncedo lwethu luya kulwa nathi ngokwemiqathango yezigwenxa zabahlobo bethu kunye nokungabikho kokuqonda kwabo. Kulungile njani ukwenza kunye nokuba kwicala lalo lingakanani, ukuba ngabahlobo bakho baxabana?
Ntombazana
Okokuqala, siza kuthetha ngolu hlobo apho kungathandeki kakhulu ukungena kwimpikiswano. Oku kunjalo, xa kungekhona nje abahlobo bakho, kodwa abo baqinileyo. Khumbula into enye: ukuba awufuni ukukunceda kakhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ulungile kangakanani, kodwa ekugqibeleni, unetyala. Abathandana banokuthetha omnye nomnye ubunzima, besongela ukwahlukana, kodwa bahlala bexolelana kakhulu kunabanye abantu. Ngoko ke, ukuba ubona ukuba abafana baxabana, kulungile ukuba usuke kude kwimeko. Kwimeko apho omnye wabo, okanye nokuba yi-begranna ngokukhawuleza acele uncedo - musa ukunyuka. Ngenxa yokuba uya kuhlala uxinekile phambi komnye wabo okanye phambi kobabini. Khumbula ukuba, ngokungathi iinkcukacha, abantu abazange bakuxelele ngolwalamano lwabo, sonke siyamthanda kwindawo ethile ye-giperbolizirovat, kunye nendawo yokunciphisa. Ngako oko, ukuba kubonakala kuwe ukuba ufumanisa yonke imeko, ngokungathi zihlala zikhona kuye, ngoko kwimeko yokuva, izigwebo zakho ziphosakeleyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abazi kakuhle kwaye abaziqondi yonke into. Abagwebi abafana besuka kwimbono yakhe, intombazana ibona yonke into, ikhokelwa yimilo yakhe. Ngaloo ndlela, ngamnye wabo ubonisa ibali lonke ngendlela yalo. Kwaye ufumana izigqibo kwiimbono zabo, kungekhona kwimeko yangempela. Ngoko rhoqo zama ukuphuma kwimpikiswano yesibini esithandanayo. Ngaphandle kwimeko apho umntu eqala ngokugqithiseleyo ukuwela umda kwaye uza kuhlambalaza nokuhlaselwa. Kule meko, unokumisa nje into eyenzekayo, uthi umntu unqabile ukuba acacile, kodwa akukho mzekelo uzama ukuqonda imeko kwaye ube yinkokheli.
Umhlobo omhle kunye nomhlobo nje
Kwenzeka ukuba umhlobo wakho osondeleyo kwaye ungumhlobo nje, othanda kakhulu, uxabana nomnye, kodwa akakho kakhulu. Kule meko, abaninzi baqala ukukhokelwa yinyaniso yokuba kuhlale kuyimfuneko ukukhetha icala lomhlobo ongcono, kuba lusondele. I-Prichemamabolitelno ayinandaba, ulungile okanye ayikho. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, musa ukulandela imiva. Ewe, inene, thanda umhlobo wakho omhle kwaye ungumntu olungileyo, kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba akayi kuphutha. Sonke ngabantu abaphilileyo, kungekhona iingelosi. Ngako oko, umntu unokukwazi ukwenza iphutha ngokupheleleyo, kwaye ukuba uyamxhasa, akayiqondi loo mpazamo kwaye uya kuqhubeka esenza ngomoya ofanayo. Ukunyaniseka okunjalo kubangela ukuba umhlobo ogqwesileyo uqala ukukuphatha ngokuzingca. Ngoko ke, nokuba uqonda ukuba ukhetha iphathi kunokukhokelela ekuxabaneni nomhlobo ongcono, nokho uzama ukwenza ngokuhambelana nesazela. Ukuba awukwazi ukwenza oku, ungazami ukulungisa ingxabano kwaye ukhethe icala elingathathi hlangothi. Khumbula ukuba abantu abaqhelekileyo, abaneleyo baya kuhlala beqonda kwaye bamkele ukungathathi hlangothi kwakho. Kodwa ukuba umntu uqala ukugxininisa ukuba uvumelekile ukuba uvumelane naye, zama ukukhwezela ubungqina bomshulo kwaye njalo, cinga ngokucokisekileyo malunga nokuba ufuna umhlobo onjalo ngokubanzi nokuba ngaba uvavanya kakuhle iimpawu zakhe. Abantu abangakwaziyo ukwenza ngokusemthethweni basoloko bengakwazi ukuba ngabahlobo ngokuqhelekileyo. Enyanisweni, ubuhlobo babo buyancipha ukuze bafezekise iinjongo ezithile zobugovu, ezizifihlayo ngobuchule.
Okukuphela kwimeko kwimeko enokuba yintoni apho uqonda ukuba ngecala kunye nalowo ulungile, wena, ngokuthe ngqo, uya kuthintela kakubi i-psyche yomntu wesibini. Oko kukuthi, umbuzo wolu hlobo, umzekelo, abahlobo bakho baphikisana ngento ethile, kwaye uyaqonda ukuba inyaniso iyabuhlungu kumntu ongafuni ukuyiva. Ukuba nawe uqaphele ukuba ngubani olungile, umntu wesibini uya kuphelisa. Kungcono ukuyeka nje ingxabano uze umeme wonke umntu ukuba ahlale nam. Kodwa ukuba abantu ngokucacileyo abafuni ukuzincama, ngoko unokuba ngumntu onzima kunzima ukujamelana nenyaniso. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, zama ukumchazela ngokucacileyo ukuba uphosakele. Yenza nje yedwa kwaye kwindawo ekhululekile, uhlale ufumana izinto ezincinci zokunciphisa imeko. Emva koko uya kuthatha izinto ngakumbi ngokuzinzileyo kwaye ungamzisa kuye into enokuthi umhlobo wakho onxulumene naye akwazi ukuchazela ekutshiseni kwempikiswano.
Ukuba uyazi le ndoda kakubi
Kukho imeko xa umntu omtsha ebonakala kwinkampani kwaye ukuxabana nomnye wabahlobo bakho basendulo kwenzeka kuye. Kule meko, kufuneka uqonde kuqala umntu ophikisana naye. Ukuba umntu omaziyo ixesha elingaphezu kwakho, akakhethi umntu. Inyaniso kukuba ukuqala kokuqala komntu kunokungafani ngenxa yokuba umntu unjani ngokwenene. Ngako oko, ukuba abantu baxabana, kungcono ukuba bangazami ukuqonda imeko. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bakuphi na ukungquzulana baqala ukukhumbula ixesha elidlulileyo kulowo nalowo uluvo lwabo kwaye awusoze wakwazi ukuba ngubani othe tye kwaye ngubani onetyala, njengoko iimpikiswano zangaphambili ixesha elide, wonke umntu wawathatha kwaye wawahlaziya ngendlela yabo, kwaye nangona bachazela yonke into kuwe, iinkcazo zabo ziya kuba kude ne nyaniso.
Umzekelo wesibini xa umhlobo wakho omtsha engxabana nomntu omaziyo ngokufana nawe. Kule meko, kufuneka wenze ngendlela efanelekileyo kakhulu. Awunakuze uqale ukucubungela endaweni ethile ngenxa yenceba, kuba uyazi umntu ode njalo njalo njalo. Khumbula ukuba kwimpikiswano emibini yesithathu ingcono ukuba ungayi kuhlangana. Kodwa ukuba uziva kwaye uqonde ukuba imeko ifuna ukuncedwa ukuyicombulula, ufumane umlinganiselo ophezulu ukuqonda imeko kwaye ungaqhubeki ngeemvakalelo .Abanye abantu bafuna nje ukukhawuleza ukuxazulula iingxabano zabo. Kodwa ukuba uthabatha le nxaxheba, ngoko kufuneka uhlolisise imeko kwaye ungayithobeli iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Kufuneka uphulaphule abantu, unike ngamnye uluvo kwaye uncede nje ukuva. Unako ukufika kwicala lomntu, kuphela ukuqiniseka ukuba ulungile. Kwaye ke, akufanele ukhulume ngokukhawuleza kwaye uphinde uxelele umchasi ngandlela-thile. Khumbula ukuba ufuna ukunqanda ukuxabana, kwaye ungayifuni. Ukuba uhlala kwicala lomntu, ngaphambi kokuba wenze oku, amaxesha angamawaka acinga ukuba iziphumo zezi zinto ziya kuba njani kunye nokuba ukuziphatha kwakho kuya kuba luncedo kubantu, okanye mhlawumbi kuya kubangela ukuba imeko ibe nzima kwaye ekugqibeleni ixabane nomntu wonke.