Ukuziphatha komntu ozalwe ngonyaka wenja kudla ukuqikelelwa, kodwa ezinye izinto ezenziwe ngokulandelelweyo kwizenzo ezilindelekileyo ezivela kuye zingalindelekanga. Amadoda anjalo asoloko enqwenela ukufikelela kwiindawo eziphakamileyo kwaye adideke gqitha xa ekwazi ukuguqula iphupha. Ngokubanzi, amaphupha ayona nto ebangela ukuba baqondise. Yaye xa iindaba zobomi ziba yinyani, umntu onjalo uya kuphazamiseka ngenxa yokuba akanalo iphupha elitsha.
Kubahlobo, izenzo zendoda ezelwe ngonyaka wenja zihlala zingenangqiqo, ukuthotywa kwakhe kwimihla ngemihla kuyimlethela ilungu lelungu elingenasigxina kunye nelo lithembekileyo lenkampani, kwaye umlingiswa wakhe udla ngokubonakalisa ukonakala komona. Kodwa zonke ezi mpazamo zokuziphatha kwabahlobo bakhe zihlawulelwa yinzuzo enkulu enkulu: inzala yabo abantu abazalwa ngonyaka wenja bayifake entliziyweni yakhe, ibe yinto ebalulekileyo kuye. Kwintyala yomhlobo wakhe loo mntu akayi kunika. Eqhutywe yinkxalabo yokunqoba ubulungisa, uya kuvikela wonke umntu osondele kuye, kungakhathaliseki nayiphi na imiqobo. Abahlobo abanjalo benza abantu baqhube phambili, bazikhusele kwiintshaba nangona kubonakala ngathi akukho ndawo kule ndawo. Abahlobo abanjalo bahlukaniswa ngokunyaniseka okungaqinisekiyo: ukusuka kumntu ozelwe ngonyaka kwinja ngumhlobo, akayi kukhanyela, nokuba ihlabathi lonke lijika kubo bobabini. Ubuhlobo nomntu onjalo buninzi ngamathuba, kwaye kunzima ukulahlekelwa. Ngenxa yoko kuyimfuneko ukufezekisa into enjalo loo mntu uya kuthathwa njengento yokungathetheki. Kwaye kwizinto ezinjalo inja-ndoda ithathwa ngokuba yintsebenzo embalwa kakhulu: ukunyeliswa nomthandi, ukuthengwa komhlobo wesithathu okanye ukubulala umntwana. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuwo wonke umntu ozelwe phantsi komqondiso weenja, uluhlu lwakhe lwezopoliso ezingenakuthethelelwa lwabahlobo luyinto efanayo, kodwa umlinganiselo wabo kufuneka umangalise ukumnyanzela umhlobo wakhe.
Uthando lomntu ozalwe ngonyaka weNja.
Ngokuthandana, amadoda anjalo ayengenangqondo, engavumiyo kwaye efuna. Kodwa inzuzo yabo engathandabuzekiyo kukuba ukusuka kwabo abakhethiweyo abayi kuze balinde oko abo ngokwabo abangakulungeli ukuya khona. Kunikezelwe ukuba uya kuthanda, kunjalo. Uthando nomntu ozalwa ngonyaka wenja luvavanyo lwangempela, apho umfazi ongenakwenzeka ukuba ulungele ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ukuba uyayiphumelela ngokwenene intliziyo yakhe, uya kukulinda ngesineke ade asebenzise imithetho emitsha yobudlelwane naye. Akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuncedwa ngokuphuka nomntu onjalo: ukunyamezela kunye nenjongo yakhe kunokuba ngumona. Kodwa kuphela kwimeko yokuba uvakalelwa ukubuyela kweemvakalelo zakhe kwikhethiweyo. Yaye intuition ya madoda anjalo iphuhliswa ngokungavamile. Kwaye bayazi kakuhle oku. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuziphatha kwabo othandweni akwaziwa ngaphambili kusengaphambili kumntu ngokwakhe: ngokuzinikezela ngokupheleleyo ngamandla akhe wesithandathu, uthanda ukugibela ukuhamba, ukujonga apho ukukwazi kwakhe ukubona iziganeko kuza kubakho.
Inja yindoda isoloko iyinkimbinkimbi.
Yintoni eyenza ukuba aphumelele kwimpumelelo emininzi. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ucinga ukuba ukuzaliseka kwephupha kuye - isisombululo sokuwela ingcinezelo, mhlawumbi, iimeko eziyinkimbinkimbi-kuphela yinkqubo yenkqubo yokukhusela yobuntu bakhe. Kukho nawuphi na, inkokheli yendoda ezalwe ngonyaka wenja, ivela ngokugqithisileyo kwaye ayisoloko iinjongo. Kodwa kukho izinto ezivuyayo. Nangona ukuba loo manani ayifumaneki ngokukhawuleza kwimisebenzi ekhethekileyo, ayidinga imali kakhulu. Yintoni echazwe ngomnye umgangatho okhethekileyo wokuziphatha kwabo: asebenza ngokungaqhelekanga, engazithobeli ngokupheleleyo kwiimeko zokusebenza kwaye phantse engenakho nto. Kuba ngumqeshwa onjalo, isimo sezulu kwiqela libaluleke ngaphezu kwezinga lomsebenzi.
Kubazali, ukuziphatha kwonyana ozalwe phantsi kwembonakaliso inja kuyimfihlakalo. Ukuba nethemba lokuba ukususela ekufikeni komntu omdala, akafuneki ukufumana kubo, kwaye bavela kuye, umntwana onjalo akanakwenzeka ukuba wabelane nabazali bakhe ngamava malunga nokulahlekelwa kunye nokuphumelela. Nangona izakhono ezizimeleyo zizinzileyo, inja yindoda ikwazi ukuhlala ivalwe ngokufanelekileyo kwaye iyimfihlo nabazali bayo. Akaze abanike izizathu zokuqhawula umtshato okanye iingcamango ezifihlakeleyo ngothando lokuqala. Kodwa yena uya kuba ngulo nyana, ngokufanelekile ngokuqhayisa umgangatho wobuntu bakhe. Kuye, abazali baya kuhlala benomzekelo wokulingisa kunye nabantu abangenakugxeka ngenxa yobomi.
Iingxaki zomntu onjalo.
Ngolunye lweengxaki ezingundoqo ekuphatheni inja yindoda ezalwa ngonyaka, kuyafaneleka ukuthetha ngokuhlukileyo. Ukunyaniseka, ngamanye amaxesha umjikela kumyeni onothando kumntu ongamthiyiyo, engumnqweno wezinyembezi zento yakhe yokububula, ukuchitha ubuhlobo bakhe obuninzi. Xa enxanelwe ukuphindezela, ulungele ukunyathela ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na imimiselo yokuziphatha nokuziphatha, ukwenza izinto ezifanelekile zonke izigwebo. Kodwa, kwikhredithi yenja yindoda, kufuneka kuphawulwe ukuba ekugqithiseni ubudlelwane obufana neentlobano zesini, abahlobo okanye osebenza nabo, uhlala ngaphandle kokungabi nabulungisa okungenakusobala kwesimo sengqondo kuye. Kodwa ukuba umntu onjalo wagqiba ekubeni abuyisele, kufuneka ufanele ukwesaba ukubetha kabuhlungu. Izinja ezidumiweyo ziyaziwayo ngokuzigcina kwazo: zinentlonelo kakhulu ukutyhila ingqalelo yintsiba yazo kunye nokubetha kuyo yonke into.
Kuyaphawuleka ukuba uvuyo lwenkohlakalo yolwaphulo-mthetho okanye isohlwayo lomntu kwiluhlu lweentshaba, inja-manzi ayiyi kuba nayiphi na inqanaba. Njengeyiphi na intsindiso, oku kuphumelela, mhlawumbi, nokuba umlahle. Kodwa uya kuqhubeka efuna ukuphindisela kumntu owonayo. Enyanisweni, ukuba emva koko ufunda ukuba ukuphindezela kwakhe akufanelekanga - ngokwemiqathango yakhe yokuzimela - ngoko kuya kuba nzima kakhulu. Ukufikelela kwisifo esibalulekileyo esingokwengqondo. Nangona kunjalo, oku kwenzeka nakubantu abazalwa ngonyaka wenja kakhulu ngokungafanekiyo: ngokwemiqathango yokuvavanya umgangatho womntu onenjongo kwaye phantse njalo ukugxeka kwabo kulungile. Kwaye bayathanda ukugxeka.