Ukuze ungaphazamise umntwana wakho, kufuneka ulandele imigaqo:
1. Musa ukumazi indoda kunye nomntwana ekuqaleni kwentsapho yakho. Emva kwakho konke, akusaziwa ukuba ngaba le ndoda iya kuhlala endlwini yakho ixesha elide okanye cha, inokuphazamisa umntwana wakho, ize ilahleke ngonaphakade. Abantwana kufuneka baqaliswe kulabo bantu abaza kuba ziindwendwe eziqhelekileyo kwikhaya lakho.
2. Zizisa xa uqinisekile lo mntu. Indoda enomdla kuphela ingakhuthaza ukuzithemba, kuba abantwana baziva iinjongo zomntu.
3. Ngaphambi kokuba udibane nomntwana, yenza intetho kwaye ulungise umntwana ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba umama ufune ubomi bomntu. Ingane kufuneka iqonde ukuba naphezu kwayo yonke into, umntwana kumama uya kuba yindleko kunye nezithandwa. Emva kokulungiswa kwengqondo, xelela umntwana ukuba ulwalamano oluqinileyo uze ubenomhlobo.
4. Akufanele uthabathe umntwana ngaphandle komhla. Okokuqala, unxibelelwano oluqinileyo kunye nokhethiweyo lwakho luya kubangela ukuba umntwana wakho abe nemizwa engakhiyo. Okwesibini, oku kuya kuba nefuthe elibi kwintsebenzo enobuchopho.
5. Yiphulaphula oko umbono wengane malunga nomntu omtsha, kodwa umntwana akufanele enze isigqibo kuwe.
6. Ukuba umntwana engaboni umkhethiweyo wakho, khuluma nomthandayo. Mhlawumbi unako kunye, fumana indlela yokuphuma kwimeko, kwaye ufumane indlela onokuyifumana kuyo indawo yengane.
7. Musa ukudiliza bonke ubudlelwane nomyeni wangaphambili. Mvumele ukuba athethe nomntwana aze eze kumtyelela. Ngenxa yokuba ngeli xesha umntwana usenokubonakala ukuba uMama wayemnyamekela aze abuyele kuye. Nangona umntwana engasetyenziswanga kwimeko entsha, kufuneka aziva ukuxhaswa nguyise.
8. Akudingeki ukuba uchithe lonke ixesha nomntwana, kufuneka uzinakekele wena, unelungelo lokusebenzisa ixesha lakho lokuhamba ngeentloko zeentsimbi, iintengiso.
9. Kubaluleke kakhulu umntwana ukuba umama angathetha ngokunyanisekileyo naye ngento ethile. Umntwana unokubuza nayiphi na umbuzo ophazamisayo aze athole impendulo elula necacileyo evela kumama wakhe. Iminqweno yomntwana kufuneka iphulaphule, kodwa musa ukuyivumela ukuba ilawule izenzo zakho. Kufuneka wenze izigqibo ezinoxanduva ebomini, kungekhona kuye, akufanele ulibale le nto.
10. Akufanele kubekho into yokuba neentloni ekusebenzelaneni nendoda, kwaye akudingeki ukuba ucele umntwana ukuba afihle imfihlelo yakhe yangasese kumntu okhethiweyo. Umntwana akazange azive elahliwe, kufuneka uhlale ulwalamano nomntu osekude naye. Uqhagamshelwano noyihlo aluyi kuthatha indawo yomntwana wakho, akukho mntu kwaye akukho nto ehlabathini, kuba le ndoda yangaphambili ngumyeni wakhe omhle.
Kukho nawuphi na, akudingeki ukuba ulinde umphumo osheshayo, kodwa ube nomonde. Umntwana ufuna ukufumana indlela ekhethekileyo, ingqondo yengane iyingozi, kwaye umntwana kufuneka anike ixesha. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, kodwa iinzame zakho zingazala izithelo, kwaye umntwana wakho uya kuba nobaba onothando nonothando.
Umfazi uhlala yedwa ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo. Bobabini umntwana kunye nobomi bomama kunye, lo luvavanyo olunzulu. Emva koko, akulula ukufumana isiqingatha sesibini somfazi omnye kunye nomntwana. Emva koko, kule meko akumele ukhangele umyeni kuphela, kodwa nangomntwana wakho. Ubume, imigaqo yokuphila yomntu wakho akufanele ihambisane nawe kuphela, kodwa kufuneka ulungiselele umntwana wakho.
Indima yomama yinto enhle kakhulu, kodwa ebomini bhinqa akuyena inxaxheba yakhe kuphela ebomini. Isidingo sothando, isondo, ubuhlobo obusondeleyo luyingxenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bowesifazane, kwaye ukulahlekelwa le mfuno, ibhinqa lilahlekelwa yincinci yalo.
Abantwana bakho kufuneka baqonde ukuba ngaphezu kokuba ngumama, usengumntu onobuchule obuhle, kwaye ubomi bakho kubantwana bakho bubaluleke kakhulu njengako. Ukuba uququzelele ubomi bakho bobuqu, kuya kuba ngumzekelo omhle kubantwana, emva koko, baya kuthi bafune ixesha lesibini. Ukuba ulandela la macebiso alula, kuya kunceda ukugcina umhlaba kunye nabantwana kwaye ujabule ngokwenene.
Ngokuqhelekileyo sinika izimo zengqondo ezingalunganga kunye nesiqhamo esikusilelayo. Tshintsha imeko ingatshintsha isimo sengqondo kuwe, kwaye usebenze ngokwakho. Kukho abantu abanomdla, abanengqiqo, abahle kunye nabaphumeleleyo abangakwazi ukuzibona ebomini bentsapho. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zezi zinto kwaye zonke ziphakathi. Ukuba ufuna ukutshintsha ubomi ngokubhetele, kufuneka uphuculwe. Kukho iimpazamo ezintathu eziphambili zomfazi okhululekileyo ofuna ukudala intsapho eqinile, kodwa akayifumani.
Impazamo yokuqala. Ukhawuleza
Abasetyhini abaninzi, emva kokuphula ubuhlobo babo nendoda, khangela umviwa ofanelekileyo ozayo kwindawo yakhe. Ibhinqa liqala iireveli ezininzi, kodwa, ekugqibeleni, ihlala ididekile kwihlabathi lonke nakumadoda. Yaye ukuba uyayiqonda, akukho mntu ubeka ityala. Kuphela nje into ephakamileyo kukuba wuleza. Ukwakha ubudlelwane obuqinileyo obunokuhlala iminyaka emininzi, kufuneka ulungiselele olu lwalamano. Awufanele "ukuphosa" kunoma yimuphi umntu, kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba umntu onjalo ufanelekile, ukuba le ndoda ineempawu ezinjalo ezifunekayo ukuba zikholise.
Musa ukufuna ubudlelwane obuqilileyo
Ukuba uchitha ixesha lakho ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo ukuze ufumane iqabane, ngoko akunakwenzeka ukuba kuya kuba ngumntu ofanelekileyo. Okokuqala, kufuneka ujabule wedwa kunye nawe, ngoko abantu abasondelene nawe baya kuvuya kunye nawe. Yaye ubomi bobuqu buya kulungiswa ngendlela yendalo, ngokwayo.
I mpazamo yesibini. Ibhinqa litshitshiswe kunye nezixhobo zayo. Bambalwa kakhulu abantu abangama-100 ekhulwini abanelisekile ngokwabo. Wonke umntu unenkxalabo yakhe kunye nokwesaba kwangaphakathi. Kwaye nantsi ingongoma epheleleyo yintoni abantu abaxhamla ngayo. Sifanele siyazi ukuba iingxaki zethu zihlala ngaphakathi kuthi, ukuba ucinga ukuba into ephosakeleyo kuwe, oko akuthethi ukuba abantu abajikelezayo kufuneka bacinge. Baya kuziva nje ukungaqiniseki okuvela kuwe. Ukuba ukuzithemba kwakho kuye kwandezeleka, ukuba awukwazi ukuziqinisekisa ukuba uhle, uthakazelisa kwaye uyingqayizivele, ngoko kufuneka udlale.
Masithi kufuneka udlale indima yowesifazane ococekileyo. Oko ku fanele ukuba, yidlale indima ngelinye ilanga. Ngomso kufuneka ukuba ube yinxaxheba yowesifazane ongcono. Sekuncinane, awuyi kusebenza kule nxaxheba, kodwa iya kusebenza kuwe. Uya kuba nguwe odlalayo, imifanekiso emibini iya kudibanisa kwaye ibe yinto engayi kuhlulwa. Omnye nomntu ofanayo phambi kwabanye bangadlala indima yomntu ediniwe ngobomi kwaye avele ngendlela yobuntu obumnandi obuqhakazileyo. Bhala ubhalo lobomi bakho. Smile ukuhluleka. Yaye khumbula ukuba kufuneka ugaye nawuphi na ubugcisa, ungabi yinto yobugcisa bokuba yinto efanelekileyo.
Iphutha lesithathu. Umfazi uyaqiniseka ukuba ukuba unabantwana, kufuneka akhohlwe ngobomi bakhe. Le ngqungquthela kufuneka iphulwe. Kufuneka ukhunjulwe ukuba ubomi bakho kunye nabantwana bafana neengcamango ezingafaniyo. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka ukhethe kakuhle ubudlelwane bakho namadoda kunye nabantwana. Ngokwemvelo, abantwana kufuneka babe yinto ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe, kodwa akusiyo isizathu sokunqanda ukuthetha kunye nesini esahlukileyo. Kubalulekile ukugcina ukulinganisela kobudlelwane besini esahlukileyo kunye nokugcina iimfuno zabantwana bakho. Omnye akufanele aphumelele ukudibanisa ulwalamano lwakhe nolwalamano lwentsapho. Kungenzeka ukuba ulwalamano nomntu aluhambelanga kakuhle, kwaye ngoko umntwana uya kuba yimbozi enkulu.
Ukuba umntu okhethiweyo akawamukeli abantwana bakho, kufuneka ulungele ngokukhawuleza imeko. Unako ukuqhubeka udibana nalo mntu ngaphandle kokubhenela ubomi obudibeneyo, okanye udibanise ngokukhawuleza bonke ubudlelwane. Kufuneka uyenze ngaphandle kokuthukuthela kwaye ungacingi, kuba akukho nto yenzekile.
Yikholelwa, kodwa ehlabathini kukho inani elikhulu lamadoda afuna ukudala intsapho eqinile kunye nomfazi onabantwana ukusuka kumtshato wokuqala. Ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, ngoko uya kuziva iimvakalelo ezifanayo kumntwana wakho. Kwaye ke, akayi kuba nendima enkulu ebomini bakho, kuba into ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe ngabantwana.
Indoda inako ukuwamkela nokuthandana nabantwana bakhe abakhethiweyo, kwaye ibone njengabantwana bayo. Kubafazi abangatshatanga, abafazi abanelisekileyo baya kuba yinyani yokufumana. La madoda ayazi ukuba abantwana babo bafuna ntoni, bakulungele ukusebenza nzima ukwenza ulwalamano lwentsapho lomelele ngokwaneleyo, lukulungele ukwenza izinto ezizenzekelayo.
Musa ukucinga ukuba umfazi onomntwana akakwazi ukuba nobomi bomntu. Musa ukwesaba ukungena ubomi obutsha, ufezekise iinjongo ezintsha, wenze iimpazamo ezintsha, zivulele kwiimvakalelo ezintsha. Ubomi buhle, ufuna nje ukubona yonke into, ekugqibeleni uvule amehlo akho. Musa ukulahla izandla zakho kwaye ujonge ngokuqiniseka kwikamva lakho. Yazi ukuba uya kulungile, kodwa ngaphandle koko akunako.