Nangona ukuba umntwana ngamnye uyasabela ngendlela yakhe yokuqhawula umlinganiselo wakhe, sinokufumana ezinye zeengxaki eziphambili.
Abantwana banokucinga ukuba abazali babo ababasayi kubabathanda, ukuba yiyiphi inkohlakalo kuyo yonke le nto. Ziyaziphefumlela ukuba zenzile into engalunganga, zifuna iimpazamo zabo, umzuzu apho bangenza impazamo. Ngaphambi kokuqhawula umtshato, abantwana abanjalo banokuzama ukuxolelana nabazali babo, bayayinyamekela, bazama ukunceda. Ngokukhethekileyo ukunyaniseka kuboniswa uthando, uthando, bafuna ukukholisa abazali babo baze bavuselele. Kodwa abantwana abafihlakeleyo baya kugcina iimvakalelo ngaphakathi, okubi kakhulu kwimpilo yabo. Emva kokuqhawula umtshato, abantwana banentlungu enkulu nentlungu, ukukhuseleka, ukungabikho ngqalelo, ukuphelelwa yithemba nokungahloneli.
Yintoni eya kuba ngumcebisi wesazi sengqondo: abazali baqhawule kwaye umfana uhoxise? Zama ukulungisa yonke imiphumo emibi yoqhawulo lomtshato, ukunciphisa izinga lokuxinezeleka kwakhe, qiniseka ukuba ubomi bomntwana abuguquki ngokukhawuleza, kwaye kumnika ithuba lokuthetha nabazali bobabini.
Ukuvalwa ngokwalo kukuba, ngendlela yayo, indlela yokukhusela umntwana abonisa ngayo "ukufihla" kwiingxaki eziye zafika kuye. Umntwana ufihla ehlabathini lenene, kuba kungenakulinganiswa naye, kungekhona njengokuba wayekho ngaphambi kokuqhawula abazali. Emva koko, bekunye kunye, bamthanda, bahlangana nabo bonke ubunzima baze bamnika yonke into ayifunayo. Intsapho yayinabantu bonke, abantu abathandekayo kuye ukususela ekuzalweni bebonke, kunye naye bathandana. Kwaye ngoku, emva koqhawulo mtshato, intsapho yawa kunye nomntwana engenalo ibaluleke kakhulu-enye yabazali, ihlabathi liyahlukana, kunye neengcamango yokuba abazali abanokuxolisa omnye komunye, uyayethusa, kubangela umsindo kumntu onetyala, ukuba kukho na ngenxa yeso sizathu "sonakaliso".
Xa umntwana evala yena ngokwakhe, uyazifihla kwizinto ezinobungangamsha ezizungezile, adala umhlaba olungcono ngaphakathi kuye, akathembeli nabani na kwilizwe "elinye," engabonakaliyo, engabonakaliyo. Uhlala kunye nezikhumbuzo, iimpawu eziluhlaza ezipinki. Konke oku kuvela kukukhathazeka kwengqondo nokuxinezeleka. Ukubaluleka kwayo kuxhomekeke kubuhlobo babo nabazali emva komtshato, izizathu kunye nendlela abaphatha ngayo umntwana.
Ukuze uncede umntwana wakho aphile ubomi bakhe kwakhona, kunye nokunciphisa uxinzelelo emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kufuneka umncede aqonde imeko. Cacisa umntwana ukuba abazali bakhe bamthanda kakhulu, kwaye bahlala bebuhlobo obuhle kunye nomnye. Ukuba umzali oshiya uya kukwazi ukubona umntwana, amtyelele, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - sebenzisa ixesha kunye naye, kwaye, njengangaphambili, umthande kakhulu kwaye umnyamekele.
Umsebenzi oyintloko uza kubonisa umntwana ukuba iingxaki ebomini bakhe ziya kuba zincinane kangako. Ukuba awufuni ukulimaza umntwana - musa ukumenza uhlazo kunye nokuxabana nomyeni wakho, ungazivumeli uthethe ngezwi eliqinileyo neliphakamileyo, nokuba ufuna ngokukhawuleza. Bonisa ukuba uphathwe ngokukhawuleza njengomtshato, kunye nomyeni wakho, kwaye akukho nto eyoyikisayo kule nyaniso, eqinisweni, akukho.
Zama ukulungelelanisa ukuze umzali, ongekho ngoku ahlala nomntwana, wambona rhoqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ingcali yeengqondo iluleka ukuba ukhethe ngamanye amaxesha iindawo zokuhamba, apho uye wavakashela khona ngaphambili, ukwenzela ukunciphisa ikhefu ngexesha elidlulileyo, ukunciphisa umahluko ekuchitha ixesha kunye nomntwana emva kokuqhawula umtshato.
Kwakhona, cacisa umntwana ukuba umtshato wakhe awunalo iphoso lakhe, njengabazali. Xa kwenzeka ukuba iphoso lijongene nomnye wabazali, umntwana angayithumela umsindo wakhe, aqale ukumthiya aze avaliwe kuphela ngokumalunga naye. Ngokuxhomekeke kwisini somntu olahlwe yinto, umntwana angadlulisela umsindo wakhe kubo bonke abanye abameli besini, ngexesha elide, baneengxaki zokuthetha nabo.
Xa abazali beqhawule umtshato, abantwana banokurhoxiswa ngokwabo ngenxa yokulahlekelwa ukholo eluthandweni, ubudlelwane, intsapho, umtshato, ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka. Bavakalelwa kukuba le yindlela yonke imitshato ephela ngayo, kwaye le nto yinto esiza kuba lizayo kwixesha elizayo. Ukholo ludla, kwaye kubonakala ubandlululo. Uqhawulo lwabazali lungabonakaliswa kwi-subconscious, ngoko, lusizi, kodwa ininzi yemitshato yabantwana abazali babo abahlukanisile bahlukana.
Ukuba umntwana wakho uvalelwe ngokwawo emva kokutshatyalaliswa komtshato wabazali, isazi seengqondo sicebisa ukunceda, ukudala amathuba omhlobo kunye noqhagamshelwano. Khuthaza umntwana ngendlela efanelekileyo, ulungiselele amaqela kuye, umfundise ukuthetha okufanelekileyo, ukukwazi ukwenza abahlobo. Ukuba umntwana usafuna ukuba yedwa - musa ukumnyanzela ukuba athethe, mnike oko akufunayo. Ukuba akayi kuhlakulelana ubudlelwane kunye noontanga, khuluma naye ngeengxaki zakhe, unike iingcebiso ezintle, mkhuthaze.
Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu: emva kokuqhawula umtshato, mnike umxhesho kwaye umthande umntwana. Xoxa naye, uthethe ngezihloko ezahlukahlukeneyo, unike i-caresses, fumane ixesha, kuba ngenxa yokungabikho kwengqwalasela yabantwana bangakhutshwa ngakumbi, kwaye bahlakulele ukuzithemba kakubi, okanye kuya kuba yingozi yokuba iya kubonakala kuye kwiminyaka ekhulileyo.
Ukutshabalalisa ukwesaba kwakhe okwenziwe ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato, cela into enokuthandayo, yenza iintlanganiso kunye neentsapho nabantwana, induduzo kunye nendawo yokunxibelelana-oku kuya kumnceda ukuba akhuphe ukuzihlukanisa. Le ngcebiso engundoqo yesazi sengqondo kwimiba "yabazali behlukanisile - kwaye umntwana okhulayo uye wazincama." Into ephambili, musa ukukhawuleza kwaye ungafaki uxinzelelo kumntwana, umnike ukhetho kunye nothando, kuba le nto iyona nto ayifunayo.