Ulwimi - indlela yokufumana uthando?

Mhlawumbi, sonke sasiye sadibana nemibuzo enje, njengomzekelo, ukufumana uthando, yintoni ulwimi lwalo lwezandla kunye nokuba sithande loo mfana ohlala esithumela iimpawu eziqhelekileyo ngoluvo lwakho. Emva koko, ulwimi lomzimba, ngokwenene, lunokunceda ukufunda nokufumanisa okungakumbi ngaphezu kokuthetha. Emva koko, iintsana ezisuka ekuqaleni zifunda ukuqaphela impawu yothando notshaba, ukuqonda loo mizuzu xa kuyimfuneko ukumomotheka, nokuba umntu ulungile xa ehleka. Konke oku kwenzeka kwinqanaba elincinci, kodwa ngokukhawuleza siyakwazi ukufunda nokubamba ulwimi lwezandla olufihlakeleyo, ukubamba iimvakalelo ezincinane kunye nokufunda abantu, isimo sabo sengqondo, uthando. Ukubukela abantu, ukufunda ngakumbi nangakumbi malunga nendlela ababonisa ngayo iimvakalelo zabo, unokufunda lula ulwimi lolwimi lwezandla.

Ukuba usenomgomo wokufunda lo bugcisa, ukuqonda ubuchule bokufunda "abantu, uthando nokutshintsha ulwimi", ngoko kulula ukuqonda konke oku. Kuza kubekho uninzi lweencwadi ezizodwa, iinqununu zengqondo, okufundwa ngumzimba, okungazange sikhonze ngabanye abantu. Ukuba awunayo ingxaki yokunxibelelana nabantu, uqeqesho luya kuba lula, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uza kufunda yonke into ngokukhawuleza. Ngaphezu koko, izazinzulu ziye zabonisa ukuba amantombazana azintle, kwaye xa kuthelekiswa nabafana kulunge ngakumbi, baqonda abantu baze bafunde iimpawu zabo. Ngokukodwa kuba kulula kakhulu ukuba bakwenze - isenzo soonyana bancinci kakhulu ukubonisa i-coquetry okanye inzala kunamantombazana anesigqeba esipheleleyo sawo manqaku. Yingakho bethetha ukuba kunzima ukuqonda ibhinqa: akuyinto engaqhelekanga, kuba sinokumangalisa kakhulu kwaye kunzima kunxibelelwano. Kuboniswa ukuba phakathi kwamakhwenkwe amathathu kuphela eengqondweni abaza kuqonda i-psychology yethu kunye nempawu ezicacileyo kakuhle, baqonde oko intombazana ekuxelela yona. Bambalwa, akunjalo? Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba injongo inzima, yanele ngokwanelungelo lokufuna kwaye uyithathe.

Kwenzeka okokuba thina ntokazi, ngokuchaseneyo, sinokuziva siziqonde kakuhle ukuba sithandwa, kodwa kunjalo, nangona kunjalo, sifuna iimpawu kuthi thina asiphoso, kuba asikwazi ukuthembela kwiimvakalelo. Okanye ukuba uthanda intombazana kwaye awuqinisekanga ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ulwimi lomzimba kunye neemfihlelo zakhe kunokukunika ngakumbi ithemba. Ngoko, uyazi njani ukuba le nsizwa inemvakalelo yakho?

Okokuqala, ukhangele intlanganiso kunye nawe, kwaye xa eyenza, umzimba wakhe, njengamasokisi eengubo zakhe, uphendukela kuwe - oku kuthetha ukuba unomdla kuwe. Ukuba ujika kuwe, okanye umzimba wakhe ubheka enye indlela - uphawu olubi. Ukuba iminwe yakhe inamathele kwibhanti okanye ilapha kule ndawo - le nto ibonakaliso olungileyo, uyaqonda ngokugqithiseleyo indawo yesini kwaye ufuna ukukholisa wena njengomntu.

Ngokufanayo, akusiyo nto abayithethayo ukuba amehlo ayisilindi somphefumlo. Kungenxa yabo ukuba unokufumana into eninzi malunga nomntu ngokwakhe, kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe. Ukuba uyinto ebalulekileyo kumntu, uya kukukhangela nge-eye contact, jonga kwamehlo akho, kwaye ungakhange ukhangele kude okanye ukhangele phantsi uze uqhube amehlo akho kubadluli. Ukuba umntu akanakunxibelelana kwamehlo nawe, okanye uhlala ekhangele into ethile "ngamehlo akhe" - oku kubonisa ukungathandeki kwakhe kwincoko okanye wena. Ukuze ufumane okungakumbi, unokwazi ukubheka umfundi welihlo - xa evuya, iya kwanda. Yingakho bethetha ukuba amehlo awakwazi ukuthetha amanga, ukuba unako ukulawula ukubukeka, ngoko-ke into enjalo ayikwazi ukufihla.

Izinto ezininzi malunga nomntu kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo ngawe unokutshela indlela yakhe, ngoko, indlela ahlala ngayo. Ukuba i-pose ivulekile, umntu uyanqwenela kuwe, imilenze yakhe iyahlukana, njengokuba konke "kuvula" kuwe, ke oku kuyinzala ebonakalayo. Kwakhona, umntu onothando uya kuzama ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka kuwe. Akayivale nayiphi na indlela - akayi kuwela iinqalo zakhe, akayi kuguquka kuwe. Iminwe eqhotyoshelwe emlonyeni ibonisa umdla, ukuqikelela, kwi-earlobe-malunga nokudlala, ukuba iminwe ibamba into okanye idlala etafileni-ngokukhathazeka, iyacaphukisa okanye iyayikhathaza into ethile.

Ukuba indoda isoloko iguqula iinwele zakhe, ibophe, ihlakaniphile-izinto ezinjalo ezizenzekelayo zibonisa ukuba ngokucacileyo ufuna ukukutsala, kwaye unomdla kuye.

Ulwimi lwezandla, indlela yokufumana uthando, kuba amadoda alula kakhulu. Kodwa kukho enye inkohliso engabanjwa, ngoko kuthetha, oko kuthetha. Ukuba uthetha kwindawo ethile kwaye, umzekelo, uhleli e-cafe, faka umlindi okanye isongo kwitafile, nayiphi into onayo, kwaye uqhubeke nencoko. Ukuba umntu ohlala kuwe unomdla, uya kuthatha ngephutha le nto ezandleni zakhe, kwaye uya kuwuqwalasela okanye ayidlale. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, kufuneka ukuba yichukumise ubuncinane. Kule meko, kwinqanaba elincinci, le nto ifanekisela wena, kwaye ukuba umntu uthinta into kwaye unomdla kuyo, kuyafana nokuba unomdla kuwe. Inkohliso efanayo inokwenziwa kunye ne-candy-bonisa kumntu onxibelelana naye kwaye ubone oko uza kukwenza nge-wrapper. Ukuba uyaphalaza kwaye uphonsa ngaphandle - awunomdla kuye, ukuba uyayifaka, okanye uqala ukuyiphonsa, okanye uyibeke ephaketheni lakhe ... kakuhle, zigqibo zakho ngokwakho, ungazenzeki ukuba i-candy wrapper kule nto ibonisa wena.

Ukwazi i-tin yethando, kufuneka kwakhona ugcine umlinganiselo, kwaye ungabi, umlinganiselo othile, umxhatshazi walo mbandela. Ukuhlalutya rhoqo abantu akuyona inxibelelwano epheleleyo, kodwa abantu abayithandi ukuba bahlala bejongwe kwaye basebenzisiwe njengemouse yokuvavanya. Kufuneka kwakhona kukhunjulwe ukuba akuzona zonke izenzo ezithethayo oko zimela zona. Umzekelo, ukuba umntu ngokukhawuleza ugubungele impumlo yakhe, mhlawumbi oku kungenxa yokuba uxoxe kuwe, kodwa ngenxa yokuba, kungekudala, indiza ihleli kwimpumlo yakhe, okanye ivele yenzele, ingazange iyenze.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uyazi kakuhle ulwimi lwezandla, oku kuya kuba ngamava amahle kuwe kwaye kunokukunceda ukuba ungayifumana njani kwaye uyayiqonda, kwaye uncedise umntu ukuba akhuphe kwaye anike iimfuno zakho kuye. Ukusebenzisa ulwimi lwezandla, uza kwenza unxibelelwano lubalabala ngakumbi kwaye uncede abanye baqonde olu bugcisa.