Abaninzi abafazi, njengabantu, abafuni ukuwela kunxantathu yothando, nangona utshintsho olusisiseko kuluntu oluhambelana nokuvuswa kwezesondo, ukufaka endaweni yokuziphatha ngokusasazwa kumaphephandaba, umgaqo onqunywe ngumgangatho wegunya leentsapho. Isizathu kunye nengqiqo iyasitshela indlela yokuphila.
Njengomthetho, uthando lwentantathu luyaphula ngokukhawuleza, ingakumbi ukuba amadoda asetshatileyo apha kule nkqubo. Ziyaphazamiseka ngokoqobo kwingcambu yazo. Kukho amaxesha athile anjalo ahlala ixesha elide, kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo emva kokungcatshiswa ngumnye wabafazi, ixabiso lihlaziywa kwakhona, ukujika okuzayo kuza. Kwaye kunqabile ukuba emva kokuba "ukudalulwa kwazo zonke amakhadi" le ndoda yahlala kwintsapho, kaninzi intsapho iyahlukana. Ukuwa komnxantathu wothando kuthatha ixesha elivela ekufumaneni into yokukrexeza ngumfazi osemthethweni. Kwiimeko ezinzima xa ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo buhlala iminyaka.
Kwenzeka ukuba bonke abathathu bathule, beyazi ngokukho kontathu. Umzabalazo womntu unokuhlala iminyaka emininzi. Kule meko, yindoda kuphela eya kuphumelela kulo mzabalazo, ngelixa abafazi bengayithathi nxalenye okanye abalahlekileyo. Inxantathu yothando inokutshabalalisa kuphela umntu ophakathi kuyo. Ukuba lo lulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo, nguye kuphela onokukwazi ukuphazamisa nokucacisa imeko - okanye uqedele ubudlelwane ngokudibanisa kathathu okanye "intambo" kulo mnye. Ungayikhohlwa njani indoda yakho ethandekayo, ukuba uyatshatile?
Kunzima ukuyeka ulwalamano kwaye uzama ukulibala indoda ethandekayo, ukuba loo ntokazi inxantathu enjalo ixesha elide. Kwaye akukhona nje umnxibelelwano kubathandekayo, kodwa kunye nokuzihlonela kwabasetyhini, kuba umntu "kufuneka ahlanganyele" kunye nomlingani. Kodwa ke thabatha inyathelo elinqabileyo lokuphuma kwikhoyili, kulungile. Kukhona imigaqo emininzi apho ubuhlobo bomfazi obesetyhatileyo bakha. Ukuba ugqiba ukulibala indoda yakho oyithandayo kwaye ngaphandle koko, ukuba uthe watshata, kufuneka ulandele ezinye iingcebiso.
Into yokuqala ekufuneka ihlawulwe - kungekhona onke amabhinqa akwazi ukuthandana nomntu otshatileyo. Khumbula iidlulileyo zakho, hlalutya imeko yabazali bakho, ubudlelwane babo nomnye. Mhlawumbi igama elithi "uthando" lukubangela ukuba ungabi nemvakalelo elula, kodwa inxulumene nento etshabalalisayo, ivelisa intlungu. Ngoko ke, uzama ukufumana umntu onokukunceda uvelise umfanekiso wobudlelwane bakho ebuntwaneni kwikhaya labazali. Ngoko ke, ufuna injongo "ngxaki" indoda. Ukususela kwimikhwa kuyimfuneko kwaye kuyimfuneko ukulahla. Kubalulekile ukufumana isigqibo kunye nokujongana nomthwalo wexesha elidlulileyo. Emva koko unethuba lokuyeka ulwalamano nomntu otshatileyo. Ukuba ngabazali bakho abadlulileyo abazange babe ngumzekelo wokuvelisa okulungileyo, iimvakalelo eziqaqambileyo ngaphakathi kwintsapho, kwaye ubudlelwane babo budidekile, mhlawumbi ufanele uqhagamshelane neengcali zengqondo eziza kukunceda ukucombulula le ngxaki.
Into elandelayo ukugcina engqondweni kubasetyhini abaye banquma ukulibala indoda yabo ethandekayo, otshatileyo, ngumbuzo wokwandisa ukuzithemba kwabo. Ngaba wayesazi ukuba ubuhlobo nomntu onomngalo esandleni sakhe sokunene luqhwaba elinamandla kumabhinqa? Bengazi, kodwa ndaziva. Kwenzeka ukuba abafazi kwiireveli ezinjalo baqala ukuzithemba. Ibhinqa liziva liyizihlunu, libi, lingenakufanelekela ukuba libe yinqweneleka kakhulu kwaye likhetheke kulolo khethiweyo. Ngokukhawuleza ukuba ukungakholelwa kwedwa kukuvusa, kuninzi ukuhlakulela iingxaki eziqinisa kuphela ukungakholwa. Okokuthi, imeko ihamba: umfazi omncinane uyakuthanda, uhlonipha, ngokuqhelekileyo unamava angxaki.
Amadoda afana nokuziqhayisa ngenani labasetyhini abakhohlisayo kwaye banokuthandana nomfazi omnye okanye amabini, kwaye nangaphezulu, ngaloo ndlela kubangela ukunganeliseki kwakho. Bavele banike izaba zokugxininisa ithuba elifanelekileyo, njengoko bakusindise ekubeni banesizungu kunye neengcinga zakho ezintle. Ngenxa yoko, emva kobudlelwane obunjalo namadoda abatshatileyo, abafazi badinga inkqubo epheleleyo yokuphindaphinda ihlonipho kunye nothando lwabo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, qalisa ngokwenza uluhlu lweentlobo ezimbini zabantu ebomini bakho-abo bantu obajonga ngabahlobo, abathandekayo, abakuthatha intliziyo epheleleyo njengoko kunjalo, kunye nalabo abanokuthiwa ngama-vampires emoyeni. Bondla ngamandla akho xa bakucaphukisa kwaye bakubonise ekukhanyeni okubi, nwabele udideko lwakho okanye imeko engathandekiyo, uzama ukubheka ngcono kwimvelaphi yakho. Zama ukucoca ngokucokisekileyo isangqa soqhagamshelwano ngethuba lokuqala (mhlawumbi inyanga okanye ezimbini), xa ugqibile ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo-oku kuya kunceda ukuba ubuyisele ukuzithemba. Inkxaso yakho yokomoya kunye nabahlobo abasondeleyo baya kuba ngabantu beluhlu lokuqala. Nabo abo ubeka kwiluhlu lwesibini, bayeka ukuthetha nabo bonke, musa ukuvumela ukuba babonakale ebomini bakho.
Kuba umfazi, ukusebenzisana nendoda uhlala uvavanyo, kwaye ukuba uthe watshata, uvavanyo oluphindwe kabini. Kwimiveli enjalo, unako ukufumana ulonwabo kunye nolonwabo, kunye nentlungu nokuhlupheka. Kubalulekile ukuyeka konke okufanayo ngexesha kwaye ufumane amandla okuyeka ulwalamano olunjalo, kuba ithemba lokuphela kovuyo kakhulu, lincinci kakhulu.