Ungazichukumisa njani kunye kwaye ungakhangeli umntwana?

Indlela yokuzibamba ngesandla kwaye ungakhange umemele umntwana, kuba ngamaxesha anzima kunzima! Ewe, le yenzululwazi yonke efuna ukufunda. Emva koko, xa simemeza kumntwana wethu, asiyikulimaza kuphela ingqondo yakhe, kodwa senza njalo ukuba umntwana akayi kusiva ngeengcaciso ezizolileyo. Oko kukuthi, wayesele ejwayele ukuphulaphula, ukuthuka nokumemeza. Kwaye xa baqala ukuthetha ngetoni yokuzola, akayiqondi into efunwa kuye. Okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba ukukhala akulungile! Masiqaphele ukuba kutheni siza kulila, sinokuziyeka njani kwaye sizithathele, njengoko besithi, kwaye yintoni imiphumo yokukhala kwethu kumntwana.

Kutheni sifuna ukukhala? Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo, xa umama engakwazi ukulala ngokwaneleyo, akayi kuphumla kwaye akaziniki ixesha elaneleyo lokuphumla-le nto ingaba yeso sizathu sokuqala. Ewe, xa umntwana omncinci esesandleni esinye - ngaba kunzima kakhulu? Yaye ukuba akayena mnye, kodwa uninzi - kunzima ukugcina. Ngoko, kufuneka sizame ukuqinisekisa ukuba uncedwa ekukhuliseni umntwana kwaye ubuncinci ixesha elikhululwe kwimisebenzi yasendlini. Kwaye ukuba unomntu oshiya umntwana wakho ixesha elithile, ungazikhangeli ubumnandi bokuba yedwa, hamba nomyeni wakho okanye intombi yakho kwiifilimu, ujikeleze epakini, uchithe ixesha kwiholo lobunjwa okanye ulungelelanise-yile enye. Ukuphumla okufike ngexesha eliqinisekileyo lempilo. Kwaye ukwenzela ukuba inkqubo ye-nervous ihluleke, ukuze kungabi namemeza kumntwana, maxa wambi kuyimfuneko ukudala imimiselo yokukhululwa. Unelungelo lokuphumla!

Kodwa ukuba inkqubo yakho sele isaphumelekile kwaye uyamemeza kumntanakho, okanye ngakumbi - umbethe papa, uze uzigxeke yona - sele iyisebell, ukuba kufuneka ume uze ucinge ngemiphumo engaba nayo kwixesha elizayo.

Kwaye iziphumo zihluke kakhulu: ukuphulwa kwengqondo yengqondo yomntwana, ukukrakra kunye nokukhathazeka kwabo bonke abakudala, abadala. Cinga-ngaba ufuna le nto kumntwana wakho?

Ucinga ngale nto: "Kutheni ndiziphatha ngayo nomntwana, kutheni ndingenakuthatha imeko?"

Izizathu zezi mpawu zabazali zingaba zininzi:

a. Ndaphakanyiswa ngabazali bam;

b) Andiyazi indlela yokufundisa ukuba umntwana uyaqonda kuphela ukukhala;

c) Andiqondi indlela yokuziphatha komntu omncinci;

d) Ndidiniwe kwaye ndililize;

e) Ndizama ukubonisa ukuba abadala bafuna ukuphulaphula.

Zininzi ezinye izizathu ezichazwe ngokuba ngabazali abakwazi ukukhala, kodwa ezi zizathu zibhekwa ngokubalulekileyo. Kutheni sisebenzisa kakubi umntwana? Mhlawumbi ukubonisa ukuba uziphatha ngokungalunganga. Kwaye siziphatha ngesithunzi - sikhulise amazwi ethu, ngezinye izikhathi sisongela kwaye siquka ukulila. Ngaba ucinga ukuba lolu hlobo lokukhulisa lunalo naluphi na umphumo wokufundisa?

Kubonakala ngathi ngokumemeza, umsindo, ukungabi namandla kunye nokucasula - akukho mphumo! Ngoko, kufuneka ucinge ngendlela 'yokumemeza' kakuhle umntwana, ukuze aqonde ukuba uthukuthele! Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezisebenzayo ezenza umntwana aqonde ukuba wenza into engalunganga kwaye awuyithandi.

Yilumke umntwana oza kufunga ngalo ngoku. Mhlawumbi uyayeka ukwenza into eyenza uthuthuke. Kubalulekile ukuthatha umntwana ezandleni zakhe, uchaze kuye ngelizwi elizolileyo ongafuni ukuziphatha kwakhe.

Cinga ngamazwi ahlazileyo kwaye ahlaziyileyo, kodwa engacaphukiyo kwaye acacile. Ngoko ukuba umntwana angathathi amagama akho ngokoqobo. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukubiza umnxeba, cinga nje isiqalekiso esinjalo, kodwa sakho, kwaye asiyikuhlaziya isithunzi somntwana wakho. "Goonbee" kwaye "udidekile" - zigcine kuwe. Kodwa "umntwana onobuchule" okanye into enjalo - kungekhona ukuhlambalaza. Ngenxa yokuba unokuthi nantoni na ezintliziyweni zakho, kodwa umntwana wakho unokukhumbula amazwi akho ixesha elide.

2. Cinga oko utshoyo! Kulungile uze ukhawuleze, unomsindo. Okanye qalisa ukwenza ubuso. Unokuphinde ufunge nge-whisper.

Uyabona ukuba zininzi iindlela zokukhetha ukuba ungakhubekisi umntu omncinci, nangona wenza into efanelwe ukucaphuka, kodwa akafanelekanga ukuthotywa, kuba wonke umntu uyaphutha. Ingane - nangaphezulu.

3. Xa usebenzisana nomntwana wakho, kufuneka ukhethe indawo apho kungekho ndawo yokujeziswa, ukumemeza, ukuhlambalaza nokuhlambalaza. Into ebalulekileyo kukuba umntu omdala azitshintshe ngokwakhe, ngokuguqula isimo sengqondo ngomntwana. Funda ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ngoxolo, ngaphandle kokuphakamisa izwi lakho. Ndixelele ukuba uyamthanda njani, kodwa xa uthembekile, uyamthanda ngakumbi. Chaza ukuba wenza into engalunganga, kodwa ungakhangeli.

Kubalulekile ukuqonda into enye kuphela. Ukuba ufuna umntwana wakho abe ngumntu omdala, wakuphatha ngenhlonipho kunye nokuhlonela - ukuphatha kuwe ukususela kumncinci, njengokuba umntu, nokuba encinci - ngokuhlonipha nokulingana.