"Akunamhlanje, othandekayo ..." Ukuqhubeka kwale binzana kuyaziwa kakhulu kuthiwa: "... Ndixakeke kakhulu" (ndikhathele kakhulu, ndineentloko, akukho nto, kwakungumhla onzima ...) Yaye siyazi ixabiso lezizathu ezinjalo. Kodwa ngokunyanisekileyo? Sisiphi isizathu Kuthiwani ukuba umnqweno wesondo ulahlekile kwaye akafuni ukubuyela?
AMAHLA OKUYA ...
Uyakhumbula ukuba yonke into ehle ngayo? Bobabini niyitshisa ngokungaphelelwa ngumonde, nihamba ngemini yonke yamaphiko omthando, nibanga njengabantwana abaselula ekugqibeleni, kwaye niyaxhala, nibetha zonke iirekhodi zehlabathi kwintsibano yesini. Kodwa, ekuhambeni kwexesha, awusayikuphupha ngokuhlwa kwama-"Afrikan" ebusuku kwaye, emva kokubuya ekhaya emva kosuku olukhuni, musa ukukhawuleza ukugcoba iimpahla uze udibanise uthando. Kunoko, uhlala kwisitulo seentonga eziphathekayo kunye nencwadi (ukukhanda, intanda ethandekayo) kwaye uve ukuba indlela umthandi wakho onomdla oye wahlala ngayo ujikeleza kwindawo ethile kufuphi.
Kwaye into ebalulekileyo kukuba uthanda omnye nomnye kwaye ufuna ukuhlala kunye. Awunakuchukumisi iintshaba ezivumbayo kwicala. Uyaneliswa yiyo yonke into ngaphandle ... into ebaluleke kakhulu isondo. Nangona kunjalo, ngubani owathi le nto ibaluleke kakhulu? Indoda nomfazi badibaniswa yiminqweno efanayo, abantwana, ukuqonda ngokuvisisana, ukunyamekela, ekugqibeleni. Ewe, ezininzi izinto! Cinga, isondo ...
Ngoko ke kutheni udidekile xa ufumanisa ukuba awusatshiswa ngumnqweno wesondo sangaphambili, ungayibetheli umnxeba womntu oyintanda? Kutheni waxeka xa ecela ukuba wenze uthando, waphinde wachaza ukuba sele unayo "lezolo"?
IWARRANTY OF LOVE
Izibini ezininzi ziqwalasela ukuba kwinqanaba elithile lamano osondeleyo uluthando oluthandanayo luqala buthathaka. Kwaye, ukuba awuyi kuthatha amanyathelo okufika ngexesha, kunokuvela ukuhlukaniswa ngokupheleleyo okanye ukuhlukana kobudlelwane. Nasi umzekelo oqokelelweyo ukusuka ebomini.
Umyeni nomfazi (masibize ngokuthi amaRoma kunye noSvetlana) batshata iminyaka emi-5. Kungekudala balala ngesondo "ngendlela yokuxoxa". Incwadana ibonisa ukuba i-Sveta, phantsi kwelinye okanye enye ingqiqo, iyayenqaba. UmRoma ubeka phambili ukuphikisana okunzima. USvetlana uphendula. Kwaye kunjalo, de kubekho umntu ongamthandi umntu. Ngelo xesha, bobabini bavuma ukuba ukwaneliseka kuleso sizathu, masithi, uthando aluphefumli.
U-Svetlana ukholelwa ukuba ulwalamano lwabo obusondeleyo lwabo luphelile ngokupheleleyo, umnqweno wesondo sele uphumile, kodwa ucebisa ukuba angabambeli ngcamango ngothando olungunaphakade nolushushu, kodwa ukujongana nenyaniso. Okokuthi, ukuqaphela ukuba indoda nomfazi abanako ukugcoba ngokusisigxina kwisigxina somnqweno, kuba ngokuhamba kwexesha iimvakalelo zabo ziguqulwa zibe yinto enye - inceba, inhlonipho, ubuhlobo, ububele. Nesondo ... Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha, xa oku kufuna ngokwenene, xa kukho amandla, ixesha kunye nemizwelo, kutheni kungenjalo?
UmRoma uzijonga njengexhoba kwaye, ngokuqhelekileyo, kungekho sizathu. Uthi iminyaka emihlanu edlulileyo akakwazi ukucinga ukuba zonke ezi ngxaki kunye ne "ngokuzithandela-ukunyanzeliswa" ngokwesondo ziya kuthinta ulwalamano lwabo. Ngokutsho kwakhe, ngoko uSvetlana wayehluke kakhulu - ekhohlisa, enothando, enomdla ... Ewe, uhlala engumfazi ofanelekileyo, unomdlakazi onomdla kunye nomhlobo onobubele. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba aye embhedeni, endaweni yokugxotha umyeni wakhe, uSveta ukhetha ukwenza nantoni ngaphandle kohlobo olusondeleyo. Uya kufunda incwadi okanye abukele uchungechunge kwaye ukuba akaqapheli ukuba umyeni wakhe uzizwa elahliwe kwaye enesizungu. "Kutheni engazange atshade neTV?" Amahlaya aseRoma.
Impazamo enkulu eyenziwa yizo zibini ezithatha ukulahlekelwa ngumnqweno wesini, njengento ekhethekileyo kunye neyodwa, engenazo "ihlazo" efana nembali yomhlaba. Mhlawumbi kuya kuba lula kubo ukuba befumanisa ukuba le ngxaki eqhelekileyo, ininzi "amaxhoba" athetha ukuthula. Kodwa endaweni yoko, njengeencini, zifihla intloko yakho entlabathi, kungcono ukuzama ukwenza into. Umzekelo, ukuqonda izizathu zeemeko kwaye uzame ukuvuselela ubudlelwane bezesondo.
UMSEBENZI WENKQUBO YOMSEBENZI
Ukungaqondakali ezininzi kwiindawo ezithandanayo kwakuya kugwenywa ukuba besiqale sifunde ukuvavanya kakuhle ubulili bethu kwaye siphathe ngokuqonda nokuhlonela iimfuno zenyama kunye neminqweno yomntu othandekayo.
Ngamnye wethu unezinto ezithile zesini. Zibangelwa ziziza, isimo sempilo, isimo sengqondo, izinga leenkcubeko, uphuhliso lomzimba kunye nabanye abaninzi. Ukuze ufumane ubuninzi bezakhono zabo zesondo, kwanele ukuba ukhumbule iindibano zakho zamanqaku omculo. Njengomthetho, ngeli xesha sifikelele kwinkohlakalo yesimo sengqondo kwaye sithandekile ukwenza "izenzo" zesondo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uzama ukudlulisela lo mzekelo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla, uya kufumana kwisicatshu esifanayo njengoRoman noSvetlana. Ngexesha lobudlova, babonisana nomnye umsebenzi ophezulu wesondo kwaye bazilungelele ukuba inqanaba lobudlelwane bokwenyama buya kugcinwa kulo lonke ubomi kunye. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, isifiso sesondo sikaSvetlana saye saye saza sabuyela kwisiqhelo. Mhlawumbi, ukuba isenzo somntu wesondo seso siphelile kwindlela yokutshintshana, le mibini ayiyi kuba nempikiswano. Kodwa ubuchule baseRoma bebuphezulu kakhulu kunyulo lwakhe. Nangona kunjalo, izinga elithile leempawu zengqondo asiyiyo isizathu sokuqhawula umtshato.
I-Sexologists ithi izibini ezithandana kakuhle kuzo zonke iipameters zezesondo, ezifuna ukuthandana nothando olufanayo, ubude, ngexesha elifanayo kwaye ngendlela efanayo, zimbalwa kakhulu. Ukongezelela, ubukho bobuchule obunjalo abuqinisekisiyo lonwabo. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kubakho komgangatho omnye obalulekileyo - amandla, umnqweno kunye nokukwazi "ukulinganisela" izakhono zabo zesondo.
UKUSEBENZISA KWI-ERRORS
Ukuze kulungelelaniswe ubudlelwane bezesondo, iqabane ngalinye liya kufuna umzamo othile. Kuvela kumntu ngamnye, kuba ukuba iqabane elincinci elisebenzisayo lizenzele ukunyaniseka okanye ukusebenza ngakumbi liya kutyunjwa kwaye kulinde ngesineke imvume efanelekileyo yesini - akukho nto iya kuvela kuyo.
• Qalisa ngengxoxo enobungane nephosakeleyo. Musa ukugxeka omnye nomnye ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kunye neepazamo, ukuveza izikhalazo, ubeke yonke uxanduva malunga nesondo "ukuhlaselwa" kwesinye seziqabane. Kunengqiqo ukuthetha ngesihloko esithi: "Indlela yokwenza ubudlelwane bethu buninzi kwaye bunomdla."
• Unokuzama ukugqiba "isivumelwano semibandela". Chaza kwiimeko apho unokubambelela ekuthandaneni kunye nalapho-kungathandeki ukuhlazeka kuyo. Ngokomzekelo, isizathu esihle sokwenqaba sinokuba yimpilo embi, ukugula kwengane, ukuxinezeleka, uxinzelelo, ukukhathala ngokomzimba. Kodwa ukuba omnye wenu ufuna ukuziva uthando kunye nenkxaso yelinye - ngaphambi kokuba kuthathwe inyathelo elinoxanduva, emva kwimeko engqubuzanayo, njl., Isisombululo esifanelekileyo sisabalulekile ukuba samkele. Vumela abo abangatshisi ngomnqweno wolala ngesantya, kodwa vumela ukuba iqabane liye lizincine kwaye "libandakanyeke kwinkqubo."
• Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ukusabalaliswa kwesifiso sesondo kubonakala kungenakunceda? Ngamanye amaxesha i-sexologist kwiimeko ezifanayo zingavumeli abantu abatshatileyo ixesha (bathi, kwiiveki ezi-3) ukuba bangene kwiintlobano zesondlo. Kuvunyelwe kuphela ukubonisa omnye nomnye iimpawu zengqwalasela, ukuthintana, ukukhathaza, ukumanga-konke oko! Kwiintsuku ezimbalwa, njengomthetho, iingcamango zabalingani abazitholayo kwisondlo sokubelana ngesondo bathatha isimo sengqondo sokudlala. Emva koko bavunyelwe ukuba bahlolisise ngokunyanisekileyo imizimba yabomvu yomnye nomnye (ukuphepha indawo yesini). Yilapho umgaqo odumileyo wesiqhamo esinqatshelwe ukusebenza! Kwaye kwakunomlilo, kwakunjalo, kwabanye abathandekayo abanolwazi banqabela ukuvinjelwa, bemangalisa kwizinto ezintsha kunye nokukhanya kovakalelo lwabo.
Ezi zimbini kuphela kuzo zonke iindlela ezikhoyo zokuphefumula umlambo omtsha ebomini obusondeleyo kwaye uyenze uhlale ugcwele kwaye ujabule. Mhlawumbi, uthando kunye nomnqweno wokugcina iimvakalelo kunye nesimo sengqondo esithandekayo entliziyweni yakho kuya kukushukumisa indlela yakho, eya kukubuyisela kwisandla somnye!