Ubomi bomtshato wesibini esitshatileyo asisoloko sifana nesakhelo sokuphumla ngosuku lwehlobo. Ikhono lokugcina ukutsala kunye nokuhlonipha yinto eyimfihlelo yokuxhamla. Imithintelo eyahlukahlukeneyo, izilingo kunye nokulahlekelwa ... Ngaloo nto, kubalulekile ukudlulela kuzo zonke izibini ezithatha isigqibo sokuhlala kunye ngolunye usuku - iingxaki ezinokuthi zenze nzima kwaye zivelise amaqabane kunye kwaye ahlukane aze ahlukanise.
Ngothando, inkolelo yokunquma nokukhohlisa ayisoze yayeka. Nangona emva kweminyaka eyi-10 okanye engama-20 yokuhlala kunye, musa ukucinga ukuba unokuphumla kwiindawo zakho zokuzilahla. Ukugcina nokugcina iimvakalelo yinto ebalulekileyo, efuna ukugcinwa rhoqo. Mamela kwiminqweno yeqabane lakho, zama ukuqonda ukuba yiziphi iinguqu ezenzeke kuyo kwiminyaka emininzi, funda ukudibanisa kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, kufuneka ukwazi ukuba luphi ulwalamano lokuphuhlisa ubuhlobo bakho. Konke oku, okwenyani, kuthatha ixesha, amandla kunye nethemba. Yaye umnqweno wobomi!
Zingaphi amabali anomdla ekupheleni kwe-fiasco, kuba umzekelo wethu wobudlelwane obuhle unobuthakathaka kakhulu kwaye awuyiyo. Njengomthetho, sifuna ukufumana yonke into ngokukhawuleza: uthando, ubulili obuhle, inkululeko kunye nethuba lokuzikhuhlisa. Siphila kuluntu ekuthi, njengommiselo, kufuna ukuzinza umntu. Uthando lobomi, ngokuchaseneyo, alusekelwe ekugcineni i-whims ye "I" yayo, kodwa ngoxolo, inwabelelo yokunxibelelana nabantu, ngoncedo kunye kunye nesimo sengqondo esihle kuyo yonke into engqongileyo. Oku akuthethi ukukhanyela isifuba nomnqweno, ukulibala malunga nezicwangciso zakho namaphupha. Akunjalo! Kufuneka uhlale ulungelelanisa, samkele ubunzima obukhoyo, qaphela ukuba ubomi butshintsha xa uhlala nomntu. Uya kufuneka ubencitshise iimfuno zakho, zamkele iimpazamo "zesiqingatha" sakho kwaye uzilungiselele ukusilela okungenakukuphepha okubomi bakho kunye.
Ulonwabo luxhomekeke kwizimo zengqondo kunye nokuziphatha okuhlakulelwayo kwaye kuhlakulelwe ngokwakho. Nazi ezinye iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuzifumana kwindawo esincinci yesibini.
1. Yakha ubudlelwane obuhambelanayo
Ukuphucula ngempumelelo i-cocktail ebizwa ngokuthi "ubomi bobini", umntu makafunde ukwakha intetho, ukuphulaphula nokunyamezela. Ukuhlonipha nokuzithemba kubalulekile apha.
Isimo esilula nesaziwayo: abantu ababini baxabana. Waguqa ekuthuleni, wamkela zonke iintlonelo ngaphandle kokucaphuka, ehleli ngombonakaliso wamatye ebusweni bakhe. Wazama ngamandla ukucoca igama elilodwa kwisithinteli sakhe sokuthutha, ngokudlula yonke imida yokuziphatha. Ngelishwa, akukho calulo olulodwa lwale khosi yeklasi. Mhlawumbi i nkcazo ikhona kwinto yokuba amadoda nabasetyhini bazichazela ngokwahlukileyo ngexesha lokunyuka kweemvakalelo. Hlalani nikhumbula ukuba amadoda athetha njalo, iilwimi zabo zihlwempuzekile kunabesifazane. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba bayitye kwaye abayiva nantoni na. Abasetyhini kweli phepha bafuna ukuhlawula ngakumbi ulwimi lomzimba kunye nempawu. Ngamanye amaxesha baya kumxelela ngaphezu kwegama lomntu ngqo. Ngendlela, imiphumo emininzi yemingcipheko iya kugwenywa. Khangela ngenyameko loo mntu-mhlawumbi sele sele esecaleni, ungamniki kwindawo yokubilisa.
Sombulula iingxabano
Funda ukucacisa iimpendulo zomlingani wakho ukufunda phakathi kwemigca, kunokuba ugxeke kwaye wenze amazwana amancinci. Ngokubukela ubuso bakhe nokujonga ngokucophelela ukuziphatha kwakhe, uya kufunda ezininzi ngawe. Uze ungabi nomsindo ngenxa yento-uyayazi ukuba uyamkholisa, oko kumenza athukuthe xa emele okanye enomsindo. Sombulula, ngokusekelwe kolwazi lwakho lomlingane, xa kuya kuba lula ukuqala incoko.
Inyaniso yokuba isibini esithile sibambene kwaye siyifumana ubudlelwane asithethi ukuba izinto zabo zihamba kakubi kwaye abavunyelwe ukuba baphile kunye. Kwenzeka, xa izibini zihlala ezihlakalweni rhoqo ngenxa yokuba zombini ziphethe igazi elishisayo. Ukulahla, iindleko ezingalindelekanga, ukuziphatha okungafanelekanga kubantwana: umphumo lizwi eliphakamileyo, i-cavils kunye nesenzo sengqondo esiphezulu ngamaxesha amancinci.
Kunzima ukuhlala uxolo, ngakumbi emva komsebenzi wosuku olukhuni. Kubaluleke ngakumbi ukukwazi ukulawula ingxabano, ukuze ingabi yinkinga yangempela.
Imithetho elula: ungavumeli ukukhwabanisa okuvulekileyo nokungaxakali, zama ukuthetha ngeengxaki kwitheyiphu yokuzola, zibeke phambili kwizizathu, kungekhona iimvakalelo, unike ithuba lokuthetha ngaphesheya, uze uphulaphule ngenyameko. Ukungavumelani kunye neengxaki ezinokwenzeka kufuneka zikhokele ekukhangekeni isisombululo, kwaye kungabi yindlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo oluphezulu kwaye ukhulule umsindo.
3. Funda kwimpazamo yomona
Ikhwele liqhelekile. Yona ngokwayo ayiyonto embi, ayiyihlazo, ingonakalisi. Oku sikwenza ngokwethu. Loo mvakalelo kwiimodareyitha ezimodareyitha unako kwaye kufuneka ulawulwe kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uzuze kuwo. Kucacile ukuba xa ubona indoda ethandekayo ithetha nomfazi omhle, uziva ugwayi entliziyweni. Oku kuqondakalayo, kodwa kungabi yintlondlo ngokwayo. Kodwa amaqhinga kunye nobuqili kwintsapho yakho-oku kunokuba yingozi kuba khona.
Amadoda nawo aphethwe ngumona. Thina, bafazi, abazi! Kodwa bona, kufuneka banikezwe ngenxa yabo, baqhekeza ngokukhawuleza ukungena kwiindawo ezizimeleyo zowesifazane - ukumba emapokothini, ukujonga iifowuni ezingenayo kwifowuni, ukujikeleza ngekona. Iimidlalo ezinobungozi, apho umona onomonakalo udlala indima enkulu, unqabe nantoni na inokwenzeka yokuthetha. Kwaye le ngxaki enkulu. Ngokukodwa xa uxhala malunga nokunyaniseka kungenasiphelo.
4. Ngaba kukufanelekile ukuxelela yonke into?
Umnqweno wokubonakaliswa ngokucacileyo kwiintsebenziswano awunqabile. Unxibelelwano lunokutshatyalaliswa ngokungeniswa kwintlondi okanye into eyenziwe ngaphambili. Kwezinye iintsapho, elinye iqabane lisebenzisa ukuqaphela njengendlela yokuhlawula. Njengaye, ndakuxelela inyaniso-unetyala kum. Enyanisweni, inyaniso enjalo evulekileyo ayisoloko 'ilungile' kumlingane. Intsapho isakhiwo esincomekayo, esinokutshatyalaliswa ngokukhawuleza ngesityhilelo sayo esingalindelekanga. Ewe, ukuba awukwazi ukugcina into kuwe, kukukhathaza kwaye ugqiba ekubeni kufuneka uvule-qhubeka phambili. Kodwa cinga ngemiphumo kwangaphambili. Wena ngokwakho uya kukhulula umphefumlo wakho, kwaye umhlobo wakho unokuhlala ephosa. Enyanisweni, ngaphezu kokuxoxwa kwamanga, ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuhlala ucebile ukuba ufuna ukuba akufuneki kubekho ingxaki ebusini. Ngoko unokuphila ngokuzonwabisa ngonaphakade.
5. Khumbula ukuba intsapho ibambiswano.
Musa ukunyamezela udade (okanye umama okanye umzalwana) womyeni wakhe? Ewe, unokumxelela ngokuthula, kodwa kanye. Yaye ulungele kwangaphambili ukuba ilizwi lakho alikho mpe mbelelo ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane babo. Ngenxa yokuba bangabantu bakubo. Banjalo yintsapho. Ungathanda njani ukuba umntu wakho uthetha kakubi kwezihlobo zakho? Kwaye akufanelekanga ukuthetha. Ngoko kutheni ungamkeli ukulingana kule ngxaki? Nina niqabane. Yaye iminqweno yobabini ifanele ihlonishwe omnye wenu. Unako "ukuphosa amacwecwe" kwintsapho. Ezi zihlandlo eziphindaphindayo zinokuba zibonakala zingenakonakala, kodwa ngokwenene zikhubekisa kakhulu iqabane kwaye zisekelwe ekungaqondisisweni kwezinto ezisisiseko, ezidla ngokuzayo. Kungcono ukuphazamisa, kwaye uvumele umntu osondeleyo kuwe ukuba ahlale elungileyo nelungu elithembekileyo lenu kunye nosapho lwakho. Ukutshintshela ngokucacekileyo kwaye ungaphazamisi.
6. Ukukhusela iNkululeko yakho
Ixesha elizayo kwibini ngalinye lixhomekeke ekubeni amandla omabini omabili aqhubeke kwaye aphile ubomi bawo ngaphandle kokuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo. Amanye amabhinqa akafuni ukuya kwi-cinema engenaye indoda. Baye banamahloni kakhulu, banqunyelwe emsebenzini wabo, banendawo yabo ngaphaya kwayo abangenakubalekela khona. Enyanisweni, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ukucinga, ngokukodwa ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Kodwa oku kwenzeka rhoqo. Omnye iqabane (ngokuphindaphindiweyo umntu) unqanda inkululeko yomnye. Izizathu zihluke - ukunyamekela ngokwenene ukukhwelelwa komona. Ngelo xesha, abanye bavuma ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba "khoboka", ukuxhatshazwa ngokuthula, abanye bazama ukulwa nalo. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo.
Wonke umntu kufuneka abe nethuba lokuphila ngokuzimeleyo kwezentlalo, okwanelisayo. Ngenxa yokuba ikhuthaza ngokuthe ngqo kwaye iqinisa umhlaba wayo wangaphakathi, iyabonakala ingqiqo ebomini bakhe njengento yonke. Kwanesibini isibini kufuneka sibe nenkululeko ethile. Ngaphandle kwayo, akunakukwazi ukuhlala kunye kunye - ubunzima obukhunjulwayo buya kugwenywa kuphela ngabantu bobabini bakhululekile.
7. Ukuzalwa komntwana akufanele kube yingxaki
Ukubonakala komntwana wokuqala kwintsapho kuyimvavanyo ebalulekileyo kubantu abaselula abahlala kunye. Ekunakekeleni umntwana, indima kanina umama udlalwa ngaphezu kwendima yomfazi, kwaye ubaba uyalibala kwaye uyashiywa.
Imizamo iyadingeka bobabini ukuhlangabezana nendima yabo entsha, ngaphandle kokuphula umthetho owayekade uhambelana nolwalamano kunye neemvakalelo. Xa umntwana ezalwa, ilungu ngalinye lentsapho kufuneka lilondoloze i-identity, kwaye liyakwamkela ukuba le yintsapho entsha eququzelelwe ngabantu abathathu. Ukugcina imfihlo kubaluleke kakhulu. Ungamshiyi umntwana ixesha elide egumbini lakhe, ukuze ungabandezeleka kwiintlobano zesini. Kuya kuba yinto enqabileyo kwiinyanga zokuqala ukuthatha uncedo lwesinye sezihlobo. Kwaye wena kunye nomyeni wakho ninokuba ngamanye amaxesha ndihlala phantsi kwaye nichitha ixesha kunye.
8. Imfuneko yokuzibona njengesiqabane
Oku kubonakala kucacile, kodwa abaninzi abanakukwazi ukuzilungelelanisa ngaphakathi kwimeko yokuba abangekho bodwa. Kubaluleke kakhulu "ukuquka" isibini phakathi kwakho kwaye uvumele abanye bazi ukuba bodwa bodwa ngoku.
Oku kufuneka kuqatshelwe ngabalingane, abaqhelana nabo, abahlobo kunye nezihlobo. Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu, ngakumbi xa kuvela kumlingane onomdla omkhulu kwiminyaka yobudala, isimo sezenhlalakahle, imfundo okanye amava emitshato edlulileyo. Ubunzima bokuqashelwa ngabanye kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki ezinzulu ubudlelwane phakathi kwamaqabane. Into ephambili apha ukukhuthaza uthando kunye nomnqweno wokuhlala kunye. Nixhase omnye kulo.