Indlela yokusingatha umntwana onjalo?
Okokuqala, ukusuka ngexesha lokuzalwa (kunye nokukhetha phambi kwayo), qalisa ukuthetha nomntwana. Ukususela kwiintsuku zokuqala zobomi, abantwana abangaphanga bafuna ukuphumla okukhethekileyo, ngoko ke oogqirha bazama ukunciphisa inani kunye nobude bokutyelela. Nangona kunjalo, uya kuvunyelwa ukubukela umntwana ngeendonga zeglasi zewadi: ukuba umntwana usekwe kuvez, ukunyakaza kwakhe kubonakala ngokucacileyo. Ukuqwalasela indlela aphendulela ngayo kwimpembelelo yabahlengikazi, ingaba uzama ukugubha iminwe yakhe.
Emva kwexesha uya kuvunyelwa ukuthatha umntwana ezandleni zakho, ukutya kunye ne-swaddle. Iintsana zokuqala kwiiveki zokuqala zobomi zidinga ukunxibelelana okufutshane nomama wazo "ukugqibezela" ngakumbi ukuphuhliswa kwe-intrauterine. Ngokutsho kophando, iindawo ezahlukahlukeneyo kwaye zizityebi iimvakalelo ziya kuba phakathi kwintsana kunye nomama, ngokukhawuleza umntwana uya kukhula, abe namandla kwaye ahlakulele ngengqondo.
Ngona umntwana okhulelweyo kakhulu usenokubona nokuva okungcono kunokuba sicinga. Yingakho kungakhathaliseki ukuba kukho impendulo kwizenzo zakho, ncokola nomntwana ngokusemandleni akho, mxelele iingoma, uhlabelele iingoma, ulibethe emacaleni nasemilenzeni. Ingane inokuhlala iqala ukungaboni nxu lumano olunjalo ukuya kwiiveki ezingama-3-5 (kwaye lide lide lide lide), nangona kunokwenzeka ukuba ikwazi ukuqonda kwaye iqokelele. Umntwana usenobuthakathaka kakhulu emzimbeni ukuze asebenze ngokubanzi. Ngokukhawuleza xa ubona impendulo yokuqala (ukuboniswa, ukuqhagamshelana kwamehlo), ncedisa umntwana ukuba azive ukuba izenzo zakhe ziyamkholisa.
Unako ukuxhoma i-rattle egqabileyo kwisibhedlele sakho okanye ukhenkceza, ubeke iisokisi ezinemibala yakho encane, mamele alalele ukurekhoda kwezwi losapho lwakhe okanye umculo omnandi. Kucaciswa ukuba ngale ndlela abantwana bayakwazi ukufunda ukuhlukanisa imibala yezinto, ukulinganisa kunye neengcamango zomsindo, nokuzaliseka kunye nokukhanya kwezinto ezibonakalayo kukhuthaza ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo kwengqondo. Kodwa khumbula: akusikho konke ukuvuselela kuncedo. Umzekelo, akufuneki ukusebenzisa i-perfume nezindlu zangasese ngaphambi kokuya esibhedlele. Abanye abavumbayo bavame ukucaphukisa abantwana, bangela ukuba nemihlali ibe nemihlali.
Qala ukugcina idayari uze uthathe iifoto. Unokuqala ukurekhoda ukuziphatha komntwana malunga nosuku olulandelayo emva kokuzala. Idayari enjalo yokuphuhliswa kokuqala ibaluleke kakhulu - inceda onke amalungu omndeni ukuba azi kakuhle uhlobo lomntwana nangaphambi kokukhutshwa kwaye alungiselele kwangaphambili ukubonakala kwakhe endlwini. Akufuneki ushiye idayari kwikamva. Injongo yalo ayikuphela nje ukuba ibe yintsapho yindlalifa emva koko. Ukuba umntwana ngokukhawuleza unenkathazo ekuphatheni okanye ekufundeni, imbali ebhaliweyo yokuphuhliswa kwakhe kwasekuqaleni iya kubonelela ngezinto zeengcali, ukubanceda kwimbonakalo ecacileyo yimeko. Unokucela ugqirha ngexesha lokuhlala esibhedlele ukwenza iirekhodi zokurekhoda okanye imifanekiso yomntwana (kuphela kufuneka udubule ngaphandle kwefowuni). Wonke amanye amalungu entsapho aya kuba nomdla kwaye anelungelo lokukwazi umntwana kusengaphambili.
Uphi na oqhelekileyo, kwaye kuphi ukuphambuka?
Khumbula ukuba uphuhliso lomntwana luhlala luntwini. Into ephambili kumama noba ngaba ngaba abantwana babo baqala ngokuqhelekileyo. Kuphela xa senza njalo, sihlala siqwalasela ukuba intsingiselo yesiqhelo isetyenziswe ngamnye kuthi. Abanye abazali bayayinyamekela, okokuqala, kwizinga eliphezulu lokuqonda, abanye-malunga nokufezekiswa komzimba komntwana, wesithathu uyavuma ukuba umntwana wabo "wafunda okungenani ezintathu".
Iingcali zengqondo zisebenza kunye neentsana zangaphambi kwexesha, zisebenzise imigaqo emibini yesiqhelo:
icandelo elikhoyo leemoto ezifunekayo, intetho kunye nezakhono zemidlalo kunye nokulungelelaniswa komntwana (ukukwazi ukwenza izigqibo nokuhamba kwiimeko zobomi). Kwimeko yokuqala, uvavanyo lwenziwa yinto umntwana afunde ukuyenza, kwaye okwesibini ihlola indlela (ngendlela eyiyo kunye ngokukhawuleza) yenzayo.
Ngamanye amaxesha abazali benza impazamo yokuthelekisa "impumelelo" yomntwana kunye nemigangatho yabantwana abazalwa ngexesha. Ukuthelekiswa okunjalo kuyamkeleka ngokusemgangathweni, nangona kunjalo, ngeenyanga ezi-5-7 zokuqala, usadinga ukwenza isaphulelo. Ukuba, umzekelo, umntwana wasweleka kwiinyanga ezisibhozo, kwaye ngoku iinyanga ezi-3 ubudala, ziya kuba zichanekile ngakumbi ukugxila kwizikhombisi zomntwana oneminyaka emibili ubudala.
Ungaphuthelwa uluhlu lweempawu ezixhalabisa! Ungethuki ukuba umntwana ngokukhawuleza uba ngumntu ongenamdla okanye onokukhathazeka ngaphezu kwesigqirha-ngoko umntwana osengaphambi kwangoko unokusabela nangokuba utshintsho lwemozulu. Nangona kunjalo, iimpawu zomntu ngamnye zinokubangela ukwethusa:
ubude obungapheliyo impendulo ekujongeni phantsi kombono oqhelekileyo kumntwana omdala kuneenyanga ezimbini;
- ubukho beempendulo ezibuhlungu zokuthintela (ukunyakaza, ukukhala, ukumemeza), kwimbono okanye ilizwi lamalungu omndeni omdala emva kweenyanga ezimbini.
Ngezinye izihlandlo abazali bayakukhathalela izinto ezinjalo, ngakumbi ukuba umntwana unempilo embi. Ngexesha lokugula umntwana osengumntwana usenokuziphatha ngendlela engafanelekanga. Nangona kunjalo, kaninzi oku kubonisa isimo sengqondo esikhethekileyo, esenzeka kwezinye iintsana ezingaphambi kwexesha - umntwana we-autism (ukuhlukaniswa kwengqondo kwilizwe langaphandle).
Ngendlela efanelekileyo ukuthetha nogqirha?
Unganqikazi ukubuza imibuzo. Ngokweziphumo zangoku nje, isigxina soomama, imbali yokugula kwengane yabo ihlathi elimnyama, kwaye enye i-20% ayizami ukuqonda ukuqulunqwa kwemimiselo yonyango kwaye ayifuni ukuba ingcali ichaze. Khumbula: unelungelo lokufumana ulwazi olupheleleyo malunga nempilo yomntwana, malunga naluphi uncedo aludingayo, yintoni inkolelo yokuphuhliswa kwakhe. Ugqirha unyanzelekile ukukuchazela konke oku kufomu efumanekayo, ukuphendula nayiphi na imibuzo.
Awunomdla kuphela kwimizimba, kodwa nakwimpilo yengqondo yomntwana. Ngamanye amaxesha ukungaqali komzimba kukuphazamisa umsebenzi wengqondo. Ukuba umntwana wakho sele sele efumene ukuxilongwa, buza malunga nobume kunye nezizathu zalo mqathango. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba yiyiphi inxalenye yengqondo ehluphekileyo kwesi sifo.