Yiyiphi imigaqo ephambili yokukhulisa abantwana kwintsapho, ingqalelo kwizinto ezingokoqobo bomi bethu banamhlanje? Makhe sizame ukuqonda oku kunzima, njengemiboniso, umbuzo.
Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwinkqubo nayiphi na indlela yokukhuliselwa, kuquka imfundo yentsapho, igcinana noqhagamshelwano nomntwana. Akuyi kubakho umnxibelelwano, akukho nethuba lokuvalelana, udonga lokungaqondakali luya kubonakala, kwaye ukuhlukana phakathi komntu omdala nomntwana. Oku kunjalo kwenzeka rhoqo ebusheni, xa kukho ukuphulwa kwemimiselo eqhelekileyo yeengxaki phakathi kwabazali kunye nentsapho ekhulile. Ulindele ukuzibona njengomntu omdala okhulileyo, kodwa abazali bakhe basoloko (ngokuqhelekileyo bengabandakanyeki) bamqonde njengomntwana, banikele iingcebiso azifumanisa kakubi. Konke oku kunqanda ukuqhagamshelana ngokomzwelo, okuthintela inkqubo eqhubekayo yemfundo. Enyanisweni, iyayeka.
Ukugcina udibaniselwano nomntwana (kungakhathaliseki ukuba wakhula ukuya kwintsholongwane okanye engakabikho) ngokuthe ngqo kuxhomekeke ekuziphatheni kwamalungu omndeni omdala. Umntwana uqhagamshelana ekuqaleni. Uvulelekile naziphi na iindlela zokusebenzisana okuhle nabazali. Enye into kukuba nathi ngokwethu sivame ukuphula ukuvisisana kokuqala kobudlelwane. Siyacatshukiswa ngenxa yobungqina kunye nokukhawuleza kwezingane, ukunyaniseka kwabaselula kunye namabango abo ukuba babe ngabantu abadala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, endaweni yokubambisana ngokukhawuleza nomntwana ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zeengxoxo okanye umsebenzi ohlanganyeneyo, siyabaleka kwi-"shell" yokungafuni ukusebenzisana. Sisoloko sifunda njani umnqweno wethu wokuhlala sisodwa? Iingcaphuno ezifana "ndishiye ndedwa", "yiba nesineke", "linda", njl njl. sinike ukungafuni ukubonisa iingcamango nokuseka ukusebenzisana nomntwana. Kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo sifuna okufanayo kungengomlomo, ngoncedo lobuso, isenzo.
Enyanisweni, imigaqo-siseko yokukhulisa abantwana kwintsapho
Ukulindela kwethu okulungileyo kweziphumo zale nkqubo kulandelwe. Sifuna ukubona njani abantwana bethu kwikamva? Uhlobo, ulonwabo, uphendule kwenye ingxaki yomnye kwaye uvikele izikhundla zabo kweli hlabathi, evulekile kwaye ngexesha elifanayo elumkileyo nelumkileyo. Kodwa ukwenzela ukufezekisa ezi njongo, ngokwaneleyo ukubonisa abantwana njengendlela yokuziphatha imihla ngemihla, ukuzondla imodeli yeendlela zokuziphatha. Kodwa kunzima kangakanani ukuqonda oko, kuba asifezekanga! Ngaphi na, kunokuba sibe nemibono emihle, imizekelo engabonakaliyo yokuziphatha kakuhle, abantwana bethu bakubonayo njengabantu abangaziphethe kakuhle, abanokuzichazela kakuhle ukuba baziphathe njani, kodwa kaninzi abaqinisekisile le migaqo kwimpilo yabo yemihla ngemihla. Kubalulekile ukuzama ukulahla lo mkhuba. Emva kwakho konke, abantwana bethu bakulungele ukuphendula naluphi na utshintsho oluhle!
Ngokuqinisekileyo, imigaqo-siseko yoqeqesho lonke (kunye nentsapho) kufuneka isekelwe eluthandweni. Nangona kunjalo, uthando kwintsapho lithetha ukuxolelwa kwecala, kunye nokugwetywa ngokungafanelekanga ngokungaziphathi kakuhle; ubudlelwane noxolo, noqeqesho kunye noluncedo kwabanye; isimo esihle kunye nesimo esihle kunye nokugcinwa kobukhosi bendabuko phakathi kwamalungu entsapho. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kubantwana. Kubaluleke kakhulu kubo (ukwenzela ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo kunye nokwaneliseka kwengqondo kunye nokwanda komntu siqu) ukuziva ukuba upapa uyintloko yentsapho, umcebisi kunye nomkhuseli; Umama ngumncedisi wakhe othembekileyo kunye nomntu ofanayo. Abantwana bayayifumana le miqathango. Kwaye akukhathazeki ukuba kwintsapho bobabini nonina basebenza. Ngokuphambene noko, kubalulekile ukugxininisa (ekujonganeni nomntwana, ingakumbi ezincinci) ukuba umcebisi oyintloko kwintsapho nguyise, kufuneka abe nesihe, ancedwe aze athobele. Umama akasebenzi ngokunyanisekileyo, indima yayo ebalulekileyo inabantwana. Khumbula ukuba xa uqala ukubonisa ubukhulu bentsapho ngenye indlela (umama ubaluleke ngaphezu kopapa okanye bafana kwaye balingana), igunya labazali bobabini emehlweni omntwana liya kulahla. Ngenxa yoko, unokujamelana nokungathobeli (kubandakanywa nokubonakalisa), kunye nokuphazamiseka koqhagamshelwano oluphilileyo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, awuyidingi!
Ewe, kwaye ngaphandle kweendlela zemveli zokukhulisa abantwana kwintsapho
asikwazi ukwenza. Iinkcazo zomama, ezibhekiswe kwisikolo esikolweni, umzekelo, nendlela yokuziphatha kunye nokuba ingaba njani, zisabalulekile. Kuphela akufanele kube nzima kakhulu. Ngaphandle koko awuyi kuvakala, kodwa uzama ukukhawuleza ukulibala i-verbose. Njengomthetho, ukusetyenziswa rhoqo kwezi ndlela kusebenza kubangela iziphumo ezichaseneyo, kwaye ukukhuliswa kwehluleka.
Ukuba khona kwabantwana abaningana kwintsapho kunceda kakhulu inkqubo yokukhuliselwa. Iingcali zithi ukwanele ukukhulisa umntwana omdala ngokuchanekileyo, ukutshala imali ekuthandweni kunye nenkxaso (ngelixa ugcine uqeqesho olufanelekileyo kunye nobudlelwane obuhle ngokubanzi). Abantwana abancinci, ngakumbi xa kukho abangaphezu kweyodwa kubo, baya kuthatha iisampuli zokuziphatha kwakhe, bazikopishe ngendlela elula kwaye elula, ngokulula kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo bafunde imigangatho yokusebenzisana nelungu ngalinye loluntu, imigaqo yokuziphatha kunye nomsebenzi osebenzayo ngaphakathi kweqela, njl njl. Okufanayo kuqinisekiswa yindlela yokudala abantwana ekukhuliseni abantwana kwiinkcubeko zendabuko, kuquka nekhaya lethu. Kuya kuba mnandi ukufumana into evela kwimimiselo emihle yamava ezidlulileyo kwiintsuku zethu!