Xa intombazana kunye nentombazana inokutshata, ayifuni ukucinga ngomtshato okhoyo. Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha, iimeko kwixesha elizayo zifana nokuqhawula umtshato kusemfuneko ukuyeka ingxabano kwintsapho ekhokelela ekudakaleni nokuhlukaniswa kwendoda nomfazi.
Ukuba, ukuba indoda kunye nomfazi, ukuqhawula umtshato ngokuqhelekileyo kukhulula ukuxhatshazwa kweentlungu, umphumo wokuqhawula kwabantwana ungonakalisa ngokwaneleyo impilo yabo yengqondo kunye nemvakalelo, enokuchaphazela ubomi babo kwikamva. Nangona abantwana bancinci bevakalelwa xa isimo sengqondo seentsapho sitshintshile, i-spleen kunye nokuxinezeleka kuhanjiswe ngokukhawuleza kubo. Ukukhusela abantwana ekuxhatshazweni kokuziphatha, abazali kufuneka baphathwe ngendlela ephucukileyo yokuqhawula umtshato.
Into yokuqala yokuyenza kukuxelela malunga nesigqibo sakho, ukufihla kunye nokudonsa nayo akukufanelekanga. Ukuba umntwana akasekho ezintandathu, ngoko kunokuthiwa ukuba uyise (okanye umama) uya kufika ngokuya kutyelela okanye umntwana uya kumtyelela. Ukuba umntwana usekhulile, unokwazi ukucacisa ukuba yintoni ingxaki, loo mama nomama abakwazi ukuhlala kunye kunye nokufuna ukuhlala ngokwahlukileyo. Ewe, incoko enjalo inyaniso ayifaki igalelo lomtshato kumntwana, kodwa kulunge ngakumbi xa efunda inyaniso kwangaphambili nangenxa yabazali bakhe, kungekhona komnye umntu.
Njengomthetho, abantwana nabaselula bayesaba ukuqhawula umtshato ngenxa yokuba bengayiqondi indlela ubomi babo obuya kukhula ngayo, luhlobo luni lolwalamano oluya kuba phakathi kwabo nabazali babo. Ukuze ulondoloze ingqondo yomntwana yokhuseleko, umntu kufuneka afikelele ngokukhawuleza ukuba ngubani na oza kumnakekela.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda imeko yomntwana ukuze kumncedise xa kuyimfuneko. Mhlawumbi oku kuya kufuna uncedo lweengcali. Abantwana abancinci, ukuba babeneminyaka emibini okanye emine ubudala, ukwesaba kwabo kwimozulu eshintshileyo kubonakaliswe ngendlela yokudandatheka, ukukhala rhoqo, kunye nabanye baye bayeka ukuphuhlisa.
Abantwana abancinci abavumi nje kuphela ukutshintsha utshintshi phakathi koomama noyise, kodwa banokuqonda ukuba yintoni isizathu solu tshintsho. Basenokuqala ukukhusela ngokuqhawula umtshato, oku kungabonakalisa ngendlela yokungafuni ukuthetha nabazali, ukwahlukanisa okanye ukubuyela esikolweni. Kubalulekile ukunceda umntwana ukuba alungise. Ngomntwana kufuneka axhumane kunye namanye amalungu omndeni, kunye nabahlobo babazali kunye nabahlobo bakhe. Unokuba nepilesi ephazamisa umntwana kwaye uya kulibala malunga neengxabano zentsapho.
Abantwana abaneminyaka eyi-11-16 ubudala basabela njani xa beqhawula umtshato, njengomthetho, ngokubhikisha. Zingavalwa kwaye zinobudlova, qhagamshelana nenkampani embi. Baqonda ukuba kutheni kukho utshintsho kwintsapho, kodwa abafuni ukuyibekezelela. Ngaloo mntwana sele sele ekhulile, kufuneka ukuba uthethe ngendlela endala. Kubalulekile ukuthetha malunga nobunzima abazali abangenakuwunqoba kwaye ngoko-mtshato, babelane ngeemvakalelo neemvakalelo ezikhoyo okwangoku. Ewe, ukuba uthetha nomntwana baya kuba ngabazali bobabini. Omnye umzali akakwazi ukuhlangabezana nale nto. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba umntwana uziva konke kwaye uyasabela ngokuqhawula umtshato ngale ndlela, uzama nje ukulungelelanisa iimeko ezintsha zobomi. Ukuba unceda umntwana ukuba ajamelane neemeko zakhe ezixinzezelekileyo, ngoko umntwana uya kunceda ekusindeni le meko nzima.
Kuye kwaziwa kakade ukuba abafana abakhulayo bengenabo okanye abangenayo ingqalelo, banokufumana "uhlobo lwentombi" yokuziphatha okanye abanokungaqondi kakuhle ngokuziphatha komntu. Ukuziphatha kwabayeni kuchasene nabasetyhini kwaye abazange basabele kumagama kamama. Ngokuqhelekileyo abafana abafana banenjongo engaphantsi, bengazicanga, bangeneli elingaphantsi, abakwazi ukubaba novelwano kwaye ngamanye amaxesha abanokungalingani ngokupheleleyo, ngenxa yokuba abazi ukulawula indlela abaziphatha ngayo. Ukwenza imisebenzi yooyise kula madoda anzima kakhulu.
Amantombazana akhulela ngaphandle koba akanako ukulungisa ngokufanelekileyo imvo yobuninzi, oku kuthetha ukuba abayi kukwazi ukuqonda abayeni babo nabantwana, okuya kubachaphazela indima yakhe njengomfazi nonina. Uthando lukayise lubalulekile ekuzithembekeni kwakhe, ngenxa yokuziqonda kwakhe kunye nokubunjwa kwamabhinqa.