Ukwahlukana ngumsebenzi onzima, kwaye okokuqala, ngokuziphatha. Nangona umxholo weqhawulo lomtshato kwihlabathi lanamhlanje uphazamisekile. Ngoko ke, emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ngokuqhelekileyo amacala omabini adidekile kwaye athukuthele. Kwaye, ngelishwa, akunakwenzeka rhoqo xa abantu behlala bebudlelwane obuhle emva komtshato. Nangona kunjalo, ezinye iibinibini zifuna nje ukubuyisela ubuhlobo emva komtshato. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku kwenzekayo xa indoda kunye nomfazi wangaphambili babe nabantwana.
Kule meko, akukho ndlela yokwenza ngaphandle kobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Emva koko, akukho mntu ufuna ukulimaza ingqondo yabantwana abasele bahlukana kakhulu nomtshato. Kodwa njani ukuchaphazela ukubuyiselwa kobudlelwane emva kokuqhawula umyeni wakhe kumfazi kunye na?
Zigcine ngesandla
Okokuqala, ukuze ubuyisele ubuhlobo ngokuphumelelayo, kubalulekile ukuba amacala omabini anomdla kulo. Emva koko, ukuba indoda okanye umfazi uyamthiya umlingani wakhe wangaphambili ebomini, kunzima ukuthetha ngobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo. Ngoko ke, ukuze ufunde indlela yokuthetha ngokuqhelekileyo omnye nomnye, kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka ufunde ukukhusela iimvakalelo zakho. Njalo khumbula ukuba ubona abantwana onokuthi ungumama wakho ozithandayo kunye nobaba. Ngenxa yoko, ukuxabana phakathi kwakho kukuxinzeleleka kwabo. Njalo xa ufuna ukuxabana ne-ex, khumbula oku kwaye uzigcine usesandleni sakho.
Kuya kubakho ukukhumbula ukuba emva kokuba umntu ongazifuni ukuba naye naluphi na ulwalamano lwakho oluthandayo. Ewe, ke, kwafika ukudideka, kodwa oku akufanele kugxininiswe. Khawukhumbule nje ukuba lo mntu unempawu ezilungileyo, ngoko ungamthiyi rhoqo kwaye uyicinge nje ngokubi. Xa ufika kumbona emva kokuqhawula umtshato, zama ukucinga ngento enxulumene naye. Emva koko ukubuyiselwa kolwalamano kuya kuba lula kwaye kulula.
Musa ukuphazamisana nobomi bomntu
Esinye isizathu, esisoloko siba sisisombululo sokuxabana phakathi komyeni kunye nomfazi-umnqweno wokulawula ubomi bomntu. Ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukushiya, abatshatileyo bekholelwa ukuba banelungelo lokukwazi yonke into kunye nokubonisa ukuba njani kunye nendlela yokwenza. Oku kuziphatha kakubi. Ngoku awusekho ibini, ngoko ke wonke umntu ukhululekile ukwenza kwaye enze oko akufunayo ebomini bakhe, ukuba oko, akunjalo, akuchaphazeli umntwana. Ngako oko, musa ukubuza umyeni wangaphambili malunga nendlela aphila ngayo, ohlala kuyo kunye nezinye iinkcukacha zakhe. Incoko kufuneka ibe yinto ehlelekile kakhulu, ngoko akukho sizathu sokuya kubantu ngabanye kwaye ukhumbule izikhalazo ezide. Ewe, xa isihloko sokunxibelelana ngumntwana oqhelekileyo. Kule meko, amadoda namabhinqa banomdla ohambisanayo, ngoko kaninzi, akunjalo ngenxa yoko. Nangona kunjalo, ngokukhawuleza kubakho ukungqubuzana kule mhlaba, akufanelekile ukugxeka okokuqala ukuba uyisidenge kwaye ungayiqondi into. Zama ukuphulaphula imbono yakhe kwaye uhlole ngenyameko indlela efanelekileyo ngayo. Mhlawumbi uluvo lwakhe luchanekile kwaye kufuneka uphulaphule, kwaye ungagcini ngokukhawuleza iziphakamiso zakhe.
Ukuqhagamshelana nomntu owayengumyeni okanye umfazi akudingeki ukuba akhumbule oko kwenzekayo ngaphambili, ukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, akunjalo. Khumbula ukuba zonke iimpikiswano zakho ziphikisana kwaye intukuthelo sele isele kwaye ayiyi kuphinda iphindwe. Ngoko kutheni uqale udibana nomnye? Yiba ngabantu abazizilumko uze uvumele ukuba uphile. Emva kwakho konke, njengokuba kunjalo, iingxabano phakathi kwabatshatileyo ziyaqhubeka ngokude zize zivumele izikhalazo zabo. Ukuba unako ukuxolela okokuqala, ngoko isimo sakho sengqondo siza kutshintsha ngokuphawulekayo kwizinto ezimbi zingathathi hlangothi. Yaye nangona yena ngokwakhe uqala ukuya empikiswaneni, awunakuze uxhase iqhinga lakhe, kuba kuya kuba yinto engathandekiyo kuwe.
Ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luphela ekuqhawuleni umtshato, akufanele ucinge ukuba umyeni wakho okanye umfazi wayichitha ubomi bakho kwaye wathatha okulungileyo. Khumbula ukuba usenayo iminkumbulo eninzi, kwaye ngokubaluleke kakhulu, abantwana abazisa uvuyo kubo bobabini.