Xa usweleka usapho? .. Xa singakhange sibhekane nokuba nosapho olufanelekileyo? Okanye ngaba iingcamango nje ngeentsapho ezifanelekileyo, iingcamango zabantu abajamelana nokunyaniseka kwaye baba ngumqobo kumnwabo? Emva koko, intsapho evuyayo, eyadalwa ngokubambisana, umtshato "ngenxa yothando" - lo mdlalo kakhulu, uhlobo lwendalo. Abathandi ababini, abanomdla oqinileyo, bahluke kakhulu kwiingxowa zokhuni okwangoku - andiboni nto, into ephambili kukuba ndityelele iqabane. Xa umanyano wabini ulungiswa ngokusemthethweni, nangaphambi kokuba loo mzuzu uvuyo bahlala "ngaphandle kokusayinela" - umkhosi ohambelana nomzuzu ubonakala ubonakalisa into ebaluleke kakhulu ...
Ukuqinisekiswa "nothando olungunaphakade" akuvumeli ukubizwa kwangaphakathi komphefumlo, isidingo sokuba "umanyano", uvuyiswe. Kwaye emva kokuba bengayiqondi, balungiselela iimfazwe zelungelo elingcwele lokwanelisa ezi zidingo ngoncedo lwalo "iqabane" ... "Ngaba usapho olulungileyo luyinyani okanye yinyani?" - yiloo nto amaqabane azama ukukhawulelana nobudlelwane.
Ixesha lokulinganisa liza kumemeza, kunye neempesheni (kunye nobomi bentsapho) eziphosakeleyo ziya kuphazamisa iingcamango ezimbini zengxowankulu. Intsapho efanelekileyo, inkolelo kunye neyinyani malunga nokuba singubani omnye, siya kuqala "ukunyuka" ngaphandle kwe-chocolate-vanilla romance.
Abanye baya kuvuma kunye neengcikivo zokuthi into enhle ayiyi kuthiwa yinto entle, kwaye abanye, ngokukulindela kwexesha elizayo kwaye bezele iimvakalelo, baya kukhangela umtshato, baphinde bahlanganyele ekukhangela injabulo yabo ...
Akunjalo ...
Izizathu zokubangela ukuba abantu bashiye udakadala kakhulu emtshatweni kwaye iqabane lihluke kakhulu. Eyona nto elula (kwaye, i-alas, ixhaphake) yinto engumntwana ukuba kukho umntu "oyedwa" owaziyo kwi-half-word, uya kwenza njengoko uthanda nje ngenxa yokuba uyayithanda. Kwaye abaninzi, ngaphantsi kwefuthe lentsomi yentsapho efanelekileyo, abaziboneli ngokwenene. Kwakhona ngenxa yokuba ukususela ebuntwaneni kwakukho izinto ezininzi ezidakisayo-ubuncinci umama noyise, ababengazange bakulungele, - bafuna le ndoda. Ukugweba inkolelo nge "halves", ehamba ngeenxa zonke zehlabathi, le ngxaki iye yahlushwa ngabantu ngenxa yeminyaka emininzi!
Efanayo "inqabileyo" ingabonwa ngabantu. Kubonakala sengathi uyamthanda - kwaye njengompheki, kwaye njengowesifazane ... kodwa into "engalunganga ngokungafanelekileyo", intsapho efanelekileyo ayizange isebenze. Kwaye mhlawumbi ukhangele "okufanayo", okanye uqala ukulungelelanisa enye kuphela phantsi kokungabonakali. Apha kufuneka ubonise umlingiswa kwaye ubuncinane uzikhusele wena, kodwa njengobuninzi - ukunceda wakho umthandayo akhule kancane ...
Obawo nabantwana
Esinye isizathu esibalulekileyo sokuthi "ukufa" kwintsapho entsha kukucaciswa okuqhubekayo kobudlelwane obuvela kwintsapho "yakudala": izigubhu, izibambano, ukwesaba ukuba (yena) uya kuphazamisa umsebenzi, iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zentlalo kunye nezenkcubeko. Nangona ngamanye amaxesha akuyona into yokuthiya intsapho yabazali ngenxa yeentombi-mkhwenkwe kunye noonomzala. Abaninzi "abantwana" bashada baze batshata, bahlale "oonyana" kunye "neentombi" ngonaphakade, ngoko ke intsapho yabo iya kubahlangula, "uhambo oluphuthumayo", kwaye naluphi na ukwanda kokulawulwa kwabo kubonwa njengesigqila. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, ngokuqinisekileyo, kuza ukuqonda ukuba intsapho awazange isebenze, okanye kunoko, bayaphula ebudeni obungunaphakade "ngelixa okhokho e-dacha."
Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba ezimbini ziphupha ukudibanisa kwintsapho enye, ivakalelwa ukungahlambuluki kokuziphatha: ukujongwa kwezi zibini, kubonakala ngathi ababini abaneminyaka eli-10 ubudala banokugqiba ukuba baya kubonakala bafana nendoda eneminyaka engamashumi amabini ibukeka banobudenge. Injabulo yangoku ngokuphathelele iimvakalelo zesondo ("iindlela ezili-112 zokubangela ukuba ziqhubele ezulwini") zibuye zitshintshe abantu, nokuba kunjalo, kungekhona zonke iintloko zabo. Xa sibona indlela umntu ongeyena-moya engena kwi-whirlpool yezinto ezinqwenelayo, ukuziva, ndifuna ukukukhumbuza ukuba akukho nto entsha phantsi kwelanga.
Usapho kwintsapho
Imisebenzi yomntu osapho kwintsapho iyahluka, ngokomzekelo, ukusuka "kumama" kwi "intombi yintata", nangona kunjalo, nangenxa yokudideka nokungakwazi ukubuza ukuba yintoni iqabane elilifunayo, umzamo wokufumana intsapho entsha ngaphandle kokuxazulula iingxaki zokuziphatha kwixesha elidala uvavanyo olunzima kakhulu bobabini. Umlingani womtshato angaze abe "nguyise owamkelayo", ngokungahambisani ngokupheleleyo noyise. Yongeza apha umxube wokuxubha obazali kunye nabazali bobazali, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukususela kumtshato wesibini, umtshato wesithathu, inqwaba yoodadewethu, abazalwana kunye nabo bonke abachaphazelekayo iindibano ngezikhathi ezithile, kwaye ungeze imifanekiso yabantwana bakho ngabazali bakho ephefumlelwe ngeencwadi, iingxelo kunye iifilimu. Kwaye ngoku uzama ukwahlula imifanekiso yabasetyhini kunye neyodwa, ukuhlukanisa imisebenzi yentlalo yabo bonke abaye baphatha kakubi kwiminyaka eyahlukileyo, bakhulise umlinganiselo wobudlelane kunye nokuzama ekugqibeleni ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho, ngoko ke (ngokuchaseneyo nabo bonke abakutshiwoyo) baya kuba ngabomntu, ukukhululeka kwabanye abantu. Akunjalo?
"Thina" kunye "Ndi"
KwiSlavic yethu, kwaye kungekhona iWestern, izithethe, i-echoes yobungcwele, eyabelwe kwiziko lemitshato, isasomelela. Kuze kube ngoku abantu baya ngaphantsi komnxeba kwaye bahlupheke kakhulu "umtshato emazulwini" ngenxa yokuba "unkulunkulu" owenziwe "umlingane. Iingcambu zeso siko zingabonakala ngokucacileyo nakumasiko amandulo - ukuya ekufeni emva komyeni ofileyo okanye "ukuchithwa" kwisithandwa, kungabi nexabiso elizimeleyo.
EmaNtla, kwaye ngoku ngokuyinxalenye kwiinkcubeko zethu, ngokulandela inqulo "thina", umntu ngamnye wayezama ukuphepha. Ukuphazamiseka, ngokuqinisekileyo kubonakala kwi-pair of incorrigible individualists, nangona ekulungiselela isidlo sakusihlwa, kwaye uholele abantwana epaki ngeveki-ntsuku, kubangela ukuwa kwebhodi lokuthanda kungekho konke malunga nokuphila.
Xa abantu ababini beza umahluko phakathi "kuthi" -imindeni kunye "nobabini-i" -intsapho, bahlala bezibuza: ngoko wenza ntoni - ulahlekelwe okanye ube "ngumelwane ekhitshini eliqhelekileyo"? Khumbula ukuba ngobudlelwane bomntu, ifomula 1 + 1 ayiniki umphumo ofanayo kunye ne-arithmetic, hhayi "ezimbini", kodwa "ilishumi elinanye", kwaye akukho nanye "yezinto" ezilahlekelwa yona nto ibaluleke kakhulu - ngokwayo. Oko kusenomdla komnye iminyaka emininzi ...