Kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, xa umntwana "edlala" amahomoni aze aqale ubusuku. Unomdla kwiintlobo ezithile zeencwadi, ubukela iifilimu ezithile, ubukele uthando olumnandi kwaye unethemba lokuba uya kukhula kwaye uya kuba noluthando olukhulu, oluhle - kukho uthando oluhle. Yaye unokufunda ukuba ungayesabi uthando.
Xa i-intanethi yothando ibonakala, kukho intleko engayi kuze ifikeleleke, kuba zonke iintolo zalo mntwana zidibene nothando. Ngamanye amaxesha lo thando luba sisiqalekiso - ngoku isiqalekiso somntwana sihle. Wenza ngokungaqondi, ngelixa engayiqondi.
Ilungelo lidlula imimiselo yendalo yonke, ibunjwa kwimifanekiso ethile, kwiincwadi ezithile, kwiimbongo ezithile, kwiifilimu ezithile. Umntwana uqala ukhetha indlela le ntombazana okanye le ndoda eya kuba yintoni - ubunjani, ubuhle bobuhle, indlela eya kuhova ngayo, indlela yokugqoka, njalo njalo.
Phantse konke ukuxhala-i-hypochondriacs yenza oku. Kuze kube yiminyaka asixhenxe sele sele iphuhlisiwe, isondo sabo siqala ukuxhalabisa malunga neminyaka eyi-12 ukuya kwe-14, kwaye ukufikelela kwiminyaka eyi-14 bade benza umfanekiso oqhelekileyo womthandi ozayo. Lo mfanekiso uqokelele ngokupheleleyo, kodwa uhlala kwinqanaba elingaphantsi kwengqondo ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ukususela kulo mzuzwana umntwana uyazivikela, uvale kwaye acacile udala i-ideal, xa ehlala engathandi.
Kutheni konke oku kwenziwa? Ndiyabulela kule ndawo, abantwana bayazikhusela ebomini. Baye balahlekelwa ukuziphatha kwabo okulula, ukungcola kwabo, ukuhlanzeka kwabo, kwaye oku kuyindlela yokuzivala, ukuze bangaze bathathele ingozi ngakumbi ukuze bangazibandakanyi ebomini babo omnye umntu ongafezekanga. Uloyiko lokuthanda.
Ngoku umntwana ukhuselwe ngokupheleleyo kwabanye. Yena, umzekelo, uthi: "Andiyithandi le nkwenkwana," uxwayisa abanye ukuba uyathanda kuphela uhlobo oluthile lwabantu abaselula, le nkwenkwe ilumkisa ukuba uyathanda uhlobo oluthile lwamantombazana, kodwa ngokwenene banoyika, bayesaba ukuthanda .
Umntwana uqala ukuzibonakalisa, ukubonisa ukungakhathaleli kwabanye. Ngenxa yokuba usenalo ixesha lokulinda, kwaye uxinzelelo oludibaniswa nokulindela uthando lukhula. Ngalesi sikhathi, umntwana njengoko kunjalo, uhlola indlela abanye abaphatha ngayo. Uxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye uqala ukujonga indlela abanye abantwana ngayo, ngakumbi ukuba bayintombazana enhle okanye abafana, baphathwa. Oku kudala ukuxhalaba-i-hypothetical syndrome, uyakoyika ukuthanda. Ubonisa ukungabi nandaba nokunyelisa, akavumeli mntu, kodwa amaphupha kunye namaphupha othando.
Ngenxa yokuba sisondelene, umntwana yonke indawo uqala ukubona ukungazibandakanyi. Ngoku ihlabathi libonakalisa ngendlela ethile. Ukususela kwimeko engathintekiyo yentliziyo yakhe, ngoku "uphefumle ubuthi," uphefumle ngakumbi ukungakhathaleli, akazibonakalisi, akayi kubumba ngokugcwele njengoko kuyimfuneko, akasakhula kwaye uqala ukuvala ngakumbi xa efunda le ntlungu. Ngoku yena akakholelwa ukuba uthando luya kwenzeka, uloyika ukuthanda.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, lo mthando ufika kuye, ngexesha elithile, enye inkwenkwe ifika ithi: "Ndiyakuthanda!". Nangona kunjalo, akakwazi ukuvula, uyavuya, wayemlindela, makangabi mhle, waphupha, wayefuna, wajonga kuyo yonke into. Nangona kunjalo, ngoku, xa beza kuye, akasasazi ukuba benzani. Akanakho ukuqonda, akanakho ukhetho malunga noko ukwenza. Ngoku ukwesaba intlungu aziva ngayo ngaphakathi kwakhe.
Ngoko ukhetho lulo: okanye ngokukhawuleza wenqaba ukubalisa, ngelixa eyika ukuba uya kushiywa, okanye uqala ukuhlasela omnye, kunzima ukuba afunde ukuthanda. Ukuba akayithandi le nkwenkwe, uqala ukubonisa ukungafuni, ukungakhathaleli kwakhe, ukubonisa ukuba akanamdla kuye, ngelixa bexeshanye, bebambelela, bengayazi indlela yokusebenza, bengenalo ithuba lokuvuleka ngokupheleleyo phambi komnye.
La bantwana bafumana bexakeke ngaphakathi, abayazi ukuba abayiki ukuthanda. Indoda engenalo uthando ayinakuphila, unyanzelekile ukuba afumane amava othandweni. Kwaye kubonakala ukuba umntu uvela, kodwa akayi kuvumela into efanelekileyo, yonke indawo ifihliwe. Umntu onjalo ngaphakathi kuye unzima.
Ucinga ukuba kukho iingcambu kwimihlaba yonke, kuyo yonke indawo ivalwe ingcango. Uthando luza, kwaye akakwazi ukufumana okwaneleyo, okanye ukufudumala, ngenxa yesizathu sokuthi ayihambelani nembono yakhe, ayenayo kunye naye.
Akayi kukwazi ukuzityhila ngokwakhe, kuba uyazi intlungu yentlungu, nokuba bonke abantu babengamkhathaleli njani. Konke kuhamba kuphela kwi-skew: mhlawumbi ukutyhila, okanye kufihlwe. Kuyo yonke indawo iidridi eziphambili. Akukho ndawo apho umntwana onjalo umntwana angonwabile. Ngendlela umntu ahlala ngayo.
Ngoko kungcono ukuba ungadlala ne-psyche yakho. Abantwana kufuneka baqeqeshwe ukwenzela ukuba abanalo iimbopheleleko ezidibeneyo ezifundayo ukuba bangabi nokwesaba ukuthanda. Ngenxa yokuba ingqondo yinto ebonakalayo. Kwaye ukuba umntu ehamba apho, uzisa into, ngoko ihlala khona. Kwaye bazisa yonke into, kwaye rhoqo, bengenakuqonda.
Yonke into eyenziwa kangangokuba ukususela ekuqaleni kwengqondo yomntwana yayingu-zapichkan. Kwaye ekugqibeleni, aba bantwana, kunye nabantu abadala, abanakuphila ubomi ngokupheleleyo. Bonke ubomi babo baya kufuna uthando, bawufune kwaye bawuphephe. Ngenxa yokokuba besaba kakhulu ukungcola, abaze bafudumale.