Yonke intombazana nomfazi, kungakhathaliseki ubudala, bafuna ukutshata. Ingxaki yokuqala kukufumana umntu ofanelekileyo kwintsapho. Kuba ngubani onyantyala ukutshata akufanelekanga, kwaye lowo omelele kuyo, kunzima kakhulu ukufumana.
Ingxaki yesibini kukugcina umtshato. Awuyikusindisa kuphela, kodwa ujabule emtshatweni. Indlela yokugcina intlonipho, uthando kunye nomnqweno womtshato? Masithi unomgqatswa kumadoda, okanye usandul 'ukuhlala kunye kunye nje, uvumelekile ukuba uqulathe ulwalamano lwakho. Kufuneka ulandele imigaqo ukwenzela ukuba ulwalamano lwentsapho lomelele ngakumbi ngexesha, kwaye umtshato wakho ube ngumtshato ovuyisayo?
Isimo sengqondo "abadala" kwimvakalelo - ukulawula nokuqonda
Enyanisweni, yonke into ilula kakhulu. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umfazi afunde ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, ngokokuba nayiphi na ingxelo yomyeni wayo obuninzi ngokungaqondakaliyo kumntu wakhe. Ukuba awuyi kufunda le nto, kuya kufuneka uzive uhlambalaza ngaso sonke isikhathi, kwaye oku akuyi kubongeza kwinjabulo yakho. Ngaphambi kokuba ufumane impendulo kumbuzo wendlela yokugcina intlonipho, uthando kunye nomnqweno womtshato, zijonge kwaye uqonde apho - "zakho" iindiza, kwaye ziphi na izibango.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvumela umntu ukuba azive engummeli weemeko, intloko yentsapho, ngoko ke umntu makangaze enze izigqibo ezizimeleyo, nokuba ngaba unesicwangciso esicacileyo sokwenza. Nika ilungelo lokwenza izigqibo kumyeni wakho, kwaye ukuba ungumfazi okhaliphile, mkhokele kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo, kodwa ke loo ndoda ivakalelwa kukuphakama kwithuba lokukhokela intsapho. Oku akuyi kunceda kuphela ukuhlonipha uthando kunye nomnqweno womtshato, kodwa kuya kumnika amandla okuqhubeka nokwenza izigqibo ezibalulekileyo malunga nosapho. Uyakufuna kuphela ukumkhokela kwezi zigqibo eziqilileyo, kwaye oku kuya kuba yimpendulo kuphela efanelekileyo kumbuzo wendlela yokugcina intlonipho, uthando kunye nomnqweno womtshato.
Ukuba uzithatha isigqibo seengxaki zonke zeentsapho, uya kuphawula ukuba umyeni wakho uyeka ukuba nomdla kwimicimbi yentsapho-kwaye ngaphandle kwakhe konke kuphekwe, kwaye ulahlekelwa ngumdla kuye njengelungu elibalulekileyo lentsapho. Kubalulekile ukuba sikwazi ukuphakamisa indoda evela kwindoda, ukuze angesabi ukuthatha noxanduva lweentsapho.
Ukuhlonipha
Umbuzo obalulekileyo kakhulu - xa utshatile, ngaba uyamhlonela umyeni wakho? Ndicinga ukuba impendulo iya kuba yinto enhle. Luhlobo luni lomfazi oluza kutshata nendoda engayihloneliyo? Ngoko ke, kutheni kwimeko yobomi bentsapho ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umyeni unqabile ukuba uthathwa njengomntu obalulekileyo kwintsapho, amenze ahlasele, ahlaziye, amcime ngesondo, nto ibonisa ukuba indoda ayihlonishwa? Ingaba ibhinqa lingavuya, lugcine inhlonipho, uthando kunye nomnqweno womtshato, ukuba ayihloneli umyeni wakhe njengendoda, umcebisi, umlingane? Ngaphandle. Ukuthotywa komyeni wakhe, uyazihlazisa kuqala. Ubani omele uxanduva, ukuba awukwazi ukunika umyeni wakho nantoni na ngaphandle kweentlanzi? Khumbula, yonke into oyinika umyeni wakho, unikezela intsapho yakho, le nto ingumnikelo wakho kwintsapho yakho yolonwabo. Funda ukunika umyeni wakho uthando nokunyamekela, kwaye uya kukuphendula ngokufanayo.
Indoda ngumkhuseli!
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umntu uzive ekhuselwe yintsapho yakhe. Musa ukumphoqa umntu ukuba enze into ethile, aze amhlambele ngenxa yokungenzi. Ufuna nje ukumbonisa ubuthathaka bakho, into oyifunayo ngokwenene, kuye, kwaye kungekhona ngoncedo lwakhe. Umntu onjalo isimo sengqondo simvuselela! Akukho siganeko ongabonisa ngayo amandla akho kumntu, ngakumbi ekubeni unamandla ngaphezu kwakhe. Indoda ayikwazi ukujamelana nokuphikisana nokushiya intsapho. Ngokwemvelo umkhuseli, kwaye wena, umfazi, kufuneka ube phantsi kokhuselo lwakhe, kuba sibuthathaka kwaye siyidinga.
Le meko yemicimbi ikuvumela ukuba ugcine intlonipho yomntu ngokwakhe, kunye nothando, umonde ngaphakathi komtshato. Kuya kuba kuhle kakhulu ukuba uyazi ngeminqweno yomyeni wakho, izinto ezithandwayo kunye nezinto ezithandwayo. Yaye kungekhona nje ukuba ukwazi, kodwa ukuba unomdla kulolu cala lobomi bakhe. Ngaphandle koko, uya kuqwalasela ukuba awukhathaleli, kuba ukuzonwabisa kwakhe kukuqhubeka kwakhe. Wena, nomfazi wakhe, uqhubeka naye.
Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba akukho mntu udinga ukuqhubeka kwakhe kakubi, ngoko umfazi okhwazayo uzama ukukrazula umfazi onyantyala.
Ukuphathwa kakubi - ukutya kunye nesondo
Indoda yakhe ayidingi nje kuphela ukuthanda, kodwa nokuxabisa, inxulumene nomsebenzi wekhaya. Ngokuphathelele isondo, ngoko awukwazi ukulahla indoda yakho yesini ngaphantsi kweemeko. Le yindlela yodwa yokugcina inhlonipho, ukuvisisana, uthando kunye nomnqweno emshadweni - ngaphandle kokuwaxhaphaza!
Indoda ayifanele azive evinjelwe kulo mbandela. Kuye, isondo kubaluleke kakhulu! Kwaye ukuba uya kubakhokela izenzo zakhe ngezesondo, ngoko endaweni yokugcina uthando kunye nentlonipho, uya kubabeka engozini. Ndikholelwe, indoda iqhubekile ngokuphelelwa yithemba, khawuleza ufumene umonde ngecala, ukuze uhlale uzimeleyo kule ngxaki. Kungcono ukunamathela kwisikhundla sokunqanda umyeni wakho wesini, uyazicima ngesondo kunye nawe ngokwakho, oku kuthetha ukuba wenza okubi ngakumbi kwintsapho yakho yonke.
Ngaba sinokuyenza ngaphandle kweengcebiso?
Ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva, intsapho yakho iya kuba nezingane. Umthwalo womntu kunye nomyeni wakho uya kwandisa amaxesha amaninzi. Makhe azive ukuba uyakubona kwaye uyayixabisa ukukhathazeka kwakhe ngawe, umntu kufuneka azive ephumelele, kuphela oku kuya kumnika amandla. Indoda kufuneka ithathe inxaxheba ekukhulisweni kwabantwana, kwaye akufanele uphazamise. Indoda akufanele ilinike iingcebiso, inokuyihlazisa.
Ukunika iingcebiso kufuneka kube yindoda yomyeni, njengentloko yentsapho kunye nommeli wakho. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba unako ukuthetha nomyeni wakho, intetho yintetho yinjini yentsapho yakho ngenhlalakahle.
Ungesabi ukuxabana, unganqikazi ukucela ukuxolelwa kwaye ungesabi ukuvelisa-konke oku kunceda ekuphuhliseni ubudlelwane. Musa ukudibanisa ukuxabana nokugxeka. Ingxabano iyincoko evelisayo phakathi kwabantu ababini abanengqiqo ngenjongo yokwenza isigqibo esifanayo, ukuvumela ukugcina intlonipho, uthando nothando kumtshato nawuphi na umtshato.
Sakhetha, kwaye asikhethi!
Ngokomntu, ndiyakholwa, kwaye akusiyo nje imbono yam ukuba asikhethi abantu, kodwa thina bafazi sikhetha amadoda ethu kwaye sikhetha umyeni wethu. Ibhinqa kufuneka ibe sisilumko, akumangalisi ukuba umfazi uhlala ecingwa njengomgcini wekhaya. Umfazi kuphela okwazi ukudala kwintsapho efuna ukuba abe nomyeni wakhe njengodonga lwamatye kwaye ujabule emtshatweni.