Iziphakamiso zezi ziindaba apho abalinganiswa behlala behlala bevuya ngonaphakade, kunye nemizekelo ecacileyo yootatomkhulu nabahlala kunye iminyaka emashumi.
Kodwa, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukungena kumntu omdala, amaphupha ethu apheka njengamakhadi endlu aphantsi. Enyanisweni, ngaphandle kokulungileyo, kwihlabathi kukho ububi, kwaye ngenxa yezizathu ezithile. Mhlawumbi ke, abathandekayo abahlali bodwa bodwa, kodwa ixesha elide alithandi ukuvuya, okanye ngokuthe ngqo. Ukuqaphela eli qiniso, sele sifikile emtshatweni osemthethweni, sisoloko sibhekana nesingxaki esithile: ukuhlala kwintsapho okanye kungenjalo, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, njani ukuhlala kwintsapho, ukuba akukho uthando?
Uvakalelo lwangempela.
Ukuthetha ngothando lokwenene, akufanele udibanise uthando nothando. Ezi zimbini zivakalelo ziyingxenye ebalulekileyo komnye, kodwa zintlobo ehlukile. Ngokuqhelekileyo, uthando luba ngumqalo wendlela eya ekuzalweni kwengqondo ejulile, njengothando. Ngethuba lokuwela emthonjweni kukho ixesha le-candy-candy, ixesha apho iifubrifini esiswini, iiglasi eziglasi kwamehlo, kwaye yonke into iyaqhafaza kwaye imbala. Ubungakanani bothando kubo bonke ngabanye, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo luphela unyaka. Ngokwezibalo, ngeli xesha le mininzi imitshato yakhiwa. Ukuqhubela phambili kuzo zonke iimvakalelo ezikhuthazayo kuza umkhwa. Ngako oko, nangona asiyikugubha njengangaphambili, kodwa kumkhwa siyaqhubeka nokuhlakulela zonke ihomoni eziyimfuneko, ukuze uzive unamathele kumntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo ngeli xesha siqala ukuvavanya kungekuphela nje ubuchule, kodwa kunye neziphene zomntu osondeleyo. Ngexesha elifanayo, sibaqonda ngokulula kwaye abazibandakanye kubo kubo naziphi na izinto ezibalulekileyo.
Emva komkhwa, isigaba esilandelayo sinenzondo. Akukho nto bathethayo ngothando ngokuzonda inyathelo elinye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, urhulumente onjalo ufumana abantu xa bekuneminyaka engama-2-3 yomtshato. Uthiya uluthando lubonisa ukubonakaliswa kakhudlwana kokunganeliseki ngento ethile, ukuvela kweengxabano, ukunyusa ukwanda, ukugatya izici kunye nokugxila kwiingxaki zeqabane. Kubonakala ngathi akunakwenzeka ukuhlala kwintsapho, kwaye lixesha lokuphelisa ubudlelwane. Ngeli thuba, ithuba elikhulu lokuqhawula umtshato kunye neengxabano ezinkulu. Ababini abanabantwana banokunyamezela ngokukhawuleza ixesha elibizwa ngokuthi inzondo, kuba abaninikeli ixesha labo kunye nomnye wabo, kodwa kubantwana babo abathandekayo. Eli xesha lingaqwalaselwa njengendlela yokugqibela yokugaya.
Ukufumana inzondo ngokuphumelelayo kuba ngumhlobo. Ukuba akukho luthando kwintsapho, kodwa phakathi kwabatshatileyo kukhona ubudlelwane obufudumele kunye obusondeleyo, kuba lula, kwaye bumnandi. Utshintsho olunjalo ludibaniswe nelokuba ixesha lokuhlala liye ladlulile, ubomi bakho buxhotyiswe, kwaye ngoku uqonda ngokuzenzekelayo yonke into eyenzekayo. Eli xesha nje, intsapho ibonakala izinzile ekuziphatheni, kwaye oko kubaluleke ngakumbi kwisicwangciso sezinto eziphathekayo. Amaqabane abonisana nabanye, ngeli xesha abantwana bazimeleyo kwaye abazali banethuba lokuba. Ngokwexesha, ixesha elibizwa ngokuthi "ubuhlobo" mhlawumbi lusebuntwini obuninzi bomtshato obatshatileyo.
Kodwa emva kobuhlobo buza oko kunokuthiwa uthando lwangempela.
Ngoko, ungagqibi ukuthetha ukuba akukho uthando, mhlawumbi awuzange ufikelele?
"Akukho uthando."
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kwenzeka kwakhona ukuba umtshato, owadalwa kwinqanaba lomthando, uphenduka ube yimpazamo, kwaye iimvakalelo ziyadlula ngokukhawuleza xa i-pink mist ivela. Umtshato onjalo utshabalalisiwe ukutshabalalisa, kuba ngokukhawuleza omnye wabafazi uza kufumana umdlalo omtsha, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba uhlale nomntu ongenomdla kuwe. Ukungaphumeleli kukwaqwalaselwa njengomtshato wokulungelelanisa. Ukunyamezela kukufutshane nomntu ongathandekiyo, bambalwa abantu abanokwaneleyo. Kodwa kukho ukungafani, okuqinisekisa kuphela umthetho. Ukuba umtshato wakho, ngokuqinisekileyo waba ngumtshato, kungcono ukunikezela inkululeko ngaphandle kwexesha elizayo kwaye kungabangela ukukhathazeka kwengqondo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amaninzi amabhinqa namadoda agqitywa ngobungqina babantwana, okanye uluvo lukawonkewonke. Kodwa ukuba uyayiqonda, abantwana bakho abayi kufumana ubushushu abayidingayo, bebona ukungakhathaleli kwimihla ngemihla. Ngoko ke, ukuhlala kwintsapho engenalo uthando, abantwana abafanelekanga. Makhe baqonde ngakumbi ukuba kukho ubaba nomama abathandayo, kwaye bazive nothando lwenu, nokuba ngabahlukileyo. Kholelwa ukuba xa bekhula, baya kuqonda kwaye bakuxhase. Kwaye uluntu kufuneka lugcinwe ingqalelo, wonke umntu unobomi obungenazo iingxaki ezimbalwa, ngoko ukhetha ukulungisa iingxaki zakho, njengoko kunenzuzo kuwe.
Usizi.
Ngamanye amaxesha kukho iimeko xa omnye umfazi engaboni ukuba iimvakalelo ezikhethekileyo ziyaqhubeka zikhona kwintsapho, kuphela ngenxa yenceba yesiqingatha sesibini. Njengoko, ixesha elininzi kunye kunye nendlela (yena) ngaphandle kwam, kwaye uqhubeke nokunyamezela, amandla amaninzi anele xa ebetha emsebenzini, izinto ezithandwayo, iinkampani, ukungabi noluvuyo olupheleleyo lobomi. Ulwalamano olulolo hlobo luyakwazi ukufaniswa ngokukhuselekileyo ne-suitcase ngaphandle kwesibambiso-kwaye kunzima ukuyithwala, kwaye ukuyilahla kuyisihawu. Ngokuziphatha okunjalo, iqabane elithandanayo okanye iqabane libonisa, njengokuba kunjalo, ukubonakaliswa kobukhosi, ngokumalunga nomlingane onothando. Kodwa kwinqanaba lokugqibela yonke into ayibheki kancinci. Ngaba wakha wathandana ngothando? Ngoko, ngaba ukuqonda okubangela intlungu engokomoya kunokuthi kubangelwa uluhlu lweenjongo ezintle?
Ngoko ke, ukuba akukho mvakalelo, kuyafaneleka ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo, nokwenza isigqibo esisodwa esifanelekileyo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokucinga "ngeendlela eziliwaka kunye enye", indlela yokuqhubeka uhlala kwintsapho, ukuba akukho luthando, kodwa lufanelekile? Sinikelwa ubomi obunye, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba sizinikele ngokuzithandela. Ukuba akukho luthando, kungcono ukuhlala kwimigangatho emihle, kodwa kumgama kunokuba ujikeleze kwaye uzinzile.
Khumbula ukuba lo bubomi bakho, kwaye njani uza kugqitywa kuphela nguwe.