Yintoni enhle malunga nokuzithemba, ngaphakathi kwakho kwaye yintoni umfazi othembekileyo. Lo mfazi, ohlala exabisa amandla akhe. Uyazi ukuba unelungelo kwaye nangamandla akhe amaninzi ukufeza umsebenzi. Umfazi othembekileyo uyakwazi ukuqala nokuphelisa incoko, uyakwazi ukuseka oonxibelelwano, uhlala ethetha ngeemfuno zakhe, iiminqweno kunye neemvakalelo zakhe. Ibeka iinjongo ezintsha kwaye ithatha ngentshiseko enkulu ukuzaliseka kweenjongo ezibekiweyo.
Kwaye umfazi ongaqinisekanga ngaye? Ngabantu abakujikelezileyo, abafazi abanjalo abakwazi ukuthetha, bayesaba ukuvakalisa uluvo lwabo, musa ukuthetha ngeemfuno zabo kunye neminqweno yabo. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, abazibekeli naziphi na iinjongo, balahlekelwa ukholo kwaye bakholelwa zabo iinjongo.
Ziziphi izizathu zokungakhuselekanga?
Ungazijonga njani ukuzithemba? Yonke intokazi, enye indlela okanye enye, xa, ngenye indlela engaqhelekanga, yayisesimo esingaqhelekanga. Kwaye oku kuqhelekileyo kwaye akukho mfuneko yokuthetha ngokuzithemba.
Kodwa xa ubunzima kunye nokuxhalaba kuhamba kunye nomfazi ebomini, kwindawo eqhelekileyo kuye, nangokuthetha nabantu abanolwazi? Emva koko kufuneka uqaphele ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho.
Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba ibhinqa ivakalelwa le nkqubela ngokuphindaphindiweyo, xa ifumanisa imeko engathandekiyo, okanye xa ixubusha nabantu abafakwe kulokhu kukhuseleko. Unokuthatha indlela eyahlukileyo ukwenzela ukuba oku kungenzeki, kufuneka uphephe iintlanganiso zabantu, ungangeni kwiimeko ezichaphazela ukuzithemba kwakhe.
Ungayisebenzisi kakubi le ndlela, kuba ungasetyenziselwa ukuphepha iingxaki ezinzima, njengeencini, ezisekho, zifihle intloko yayo entlabathi. Njengoko awuyi kuzama, awukwazi ukusasaza utshani kwindawo yonke. Endleleni yobomi kuya kuhlala kuphazamiseka, imeko zezobomi ezingayi kwandisa ukuzithemba.
Ukuphuhlisa ukuzithemba.
Kuya kuba nokukhuseleka ukunqoba ukwesaba kwethu. Oku kwenziwa njani? Nazi ezinye iingcebiso kubafazi.
Pobesjanichayte. Zama ukukopisha indlela yoqhagamshelwano lomfazi othembekileyo, oye wahlala ucinga ngokuzithemba, ugcine indlela aziphatha ngayo. Ekuqaleni, imilenze kunye neengalo ziya kugubha, kodwa ukuba ubonakalisa ukubonakala kwakho, ukuziphatha kunye nezwi lokuba ungumfazi othembekileyo, ngoko ukuzithemba kwangempela kunokuza kuwe kwaye akuyi kukugcina ulinde ixesha elide.
Phila ngomzuzwana. Kulo mzuzwana ukuba uphelelwe ubomi, apho kungekho ndawo yokwesaba, ukuzisola, ukuxhalaba kunye nokuxhalaba, konke oku kusele kwixesha elidlulileyo, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba kubonakale kwikamva. Awudingi ukupheqa kwirekhodi elidlulileyo, ukupheqa imicimbi esele idlulileyo, kufuneka unandiphe ubomi ngoku.
Musa ukwenza samoyedstvom. Ukuba ukhatyelwa ukuzigxeka, zama ukubeka iingcamango ezimbi ngezinto ezintle, ezinokunyusa ukuzithemba. Ngokomzekelo, ilizwi lakho eliphakathi lixelela lonke ixesha oye lahluleka yonke into, kwaye ulahlekelwa ngumntu oswelekileyo. Zama ukuziphendulela ukuba ngokuzayo uza kwenza konke okulungileyo kwaye ufunde kuphela kwiimpazamo.
Ekugqibeleni ezimbalwa iimfuno zabasetyhini.
- Ukuba kukho imfuneko enjalo, gxi ninisa ngokwakho, ungesabi ukubizwa ngokuba yigosa. Ukutya okunjalo okubuxoki kukuxhomekeke ekungathandabuzeki.
- Zama ukuveza iimvakalelo zakho ngokucacileyo kwaye zingenzi kakuhle, kwaye ungesabi ukuba akuyikuthanda umnxibelelwano wakho.
Yamkela ngokuzeleyo ukungafezeki kwakho. Akukho bantu abagqibeleleyo kuzo zonke iziganeko.
- Thatha iimpazamo zakho kunye neephene zakho. Emva koko, kuyaziwa ukuba kuphela abo abangenzi nto abangenzi iimpazamo.
Xa sifunde into ethile, sifumanisa ukuba asikho ithemba. Konke oku kuthiwa yi-low self-esteem syndrome. Yinto enzima kakhulu "yindoda encinci. Ndiyindoda encinane kwaye akukho nto inokuxhomekeka kum.
Ukuzithembela kunokunyuswa njani? Iingcebiso ezimbalwa ezincinci.
1. Kholelwa kuwe ukuba unako konke. Into ephambili kukuba ukwazi ukuba uya kuphi, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni.
2. Cwangcisa ishishini lakho, ungaqali usuku ngaphandle kwesicwangciso. Ngokuhlwa, kufuneka ubhale isicwangciso, kwaye kusasa ukulungelelanisa.
3. Ukuba unquma ukwenza into ethile, qalisa ngokukhawuleza.
4. Musa ukuzama ukwenza izinto ezithakazelisayo. Kuya kwenziwa ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokukhawuleza.
5. Sumisa ngokunyanisekileyo.
6. Ukuba awuqondi into ethile, cela. Kungcono ukuba sisisidenge kanye kunokuhlala nabo bonke ubomi babo. Xa ubuza imibuzo, ubonisa umnxibelelwano wakho ophulaphulayo.
7. Yenza into entsha rhoqo.
8. Yeka ukubonisa ukungafuni.
9. Zama ukuzitshitshisa nantoni na.
10. Zithokoze ngomsebenzi ogqityiweyo.
11. Fumana i-log ephumelelayo, apho yonke imihla ubhala yonke into ocingayo ukuba yimpumelelo. Xa uziva kuwe uhlobo oluthile lokungakhuseki, uthathe kwaye ufunde nje, luhlala lunceda.
12. Ungazami ukuziqhathanisa nabanye, kuba oku kuthelekiswa akuyi kuba kuwe, ngoko kutheni uzikhathaze.
13. Kufuneka usebenze ngokukhawuleza, akufuneki ukhangele emva kwaye uhambe. Phuma kuphela! Nangona ku soyika.
Iseluleko kubasetyhini ukwandisa ukuzithemba, kukunceda ukwandise ukuzithemba kwakho, kwaye ngoko ufumane ukuzithemba. Ubomi bungenza ingqiqo kuphela xa ufezekisa ezinye iinjongo. Ngoko ke, zibeke iinjongo zakho kude kwaye zikufutshane, kwaye xa ufika kuzo, uya kuziva unomfazi othembekileyo.