Ukudlala kumntu onjalo kuthetha ukuzityhalwa ngokukhawuleza ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye kubuhlungu kakhulu. Ininzi yethu ilahlekelwa yintliziyo elula kwaye ihleka xa ibuye ingabonakali. Kodwa abo abangazi ukuba balahlekelwa njani abavumi nje kuphela, kodwa abazixoleli. Ukholo lomnye luba yinto yokuzihlambalaza ngenxa yokungaphumeleli. Kwaye kwakhona uqala ukudlala ukuze aphinde azame ukuzivakalela. Kubantu abanjalo, ubomi ngumdlalo oqhubekayo. Umdlalo ngowona khetho olukhethekileyo. Ziziphi iindlela ezingavumelekanga kumzabalazo wobunkokheli kwaye zingabalwa njani kwaye ziphume emanzini?
Uloyiko lovavanyo olubi
Ukutshatyalaliswa kumdlalo awukwazi kufihlwa. Uhlala ebengqina ubuncinane. Ngomntu obhekene nokulahlekelwa, ukutshatyalaliswa kuthetha ukuba abanye baya kubona ukungabikho kwakhe. Uloyiko: ngokukhawuleza, ukungapheleli kwakhe kuya kubangela abanye ukuba bangathethi naye, ukuba akayi kuba neleyo ngokwaneleyo kubo.
Iinjongo zokuzimela
Ngokuqhelekileyo uzive ngathi abo babantwana abasebuntwaneni bahlawuliswa ngenxa yokungaphumeleli. Ukuzama ukukhokela, ngeendlela zonke, ngoku bazama ukuqonda imfuno yabo yokuba yiyona nto ibhetele, epheleleyo, yonke into eyaziwayo. Umdlalo (kwimeko yokunqoba) uyabanceda bazibonele. Impumelelo yangaphandle ibonisa ukubaluleka kwayo, kwaye ukulahleka kuthetha ukuba ilahlekile kwakhona. Abantu basabela njani xa benqotshwa ngakumbi kunabesifazane. Mhlawumbi inyaniso kukuba amakhwenkwe akhuliswa ngokusemthethweni ekulandeleni ukunqoba, ngoxa amantombazana afundiswa ukuba aguquke kwaye avelise.
Umdlalo unzulu
Umdlalo nje wobunkokeli? Kwalabo abangayaziyo ukulahlekelwa, oku kukunye okungakumbi. Lo mdlalo uhlangothi oluphambene nenyaniso, isikhala apho unokwakha ubomi bakho ngokwahlukileyo. Umdlalo unemithetho ecacileyo. Ngaloo ndlela kubangele abo baxhalabileyo phakathi kweengxaki zobomi. Kwabaninzi bethu, ukudlala kukusebenza okukhuselekileyo. Ekugqibeleni, inokutshintsha rhoqo. Kodwa abo bafumana ukutshatyalaliswa kwabo, abaqondi oko. Kwaye ukuhluleka kwabo kufana nokusongela ubomi babo. Abaqondi ngokucacileyo ukulahleka njengokuba kubuyelwa ingxabano, ingozi. Ukulahlekelwa kukuba ngumzila wokugqibela kwaye kubangele ukuphazamiseka komsindo. Kodwa isizathu salo mkhuba asilo mdlalo ngokwawo. Kuphela nje ukuba iimpawu ezizikhethekileyo ekuziphatheni kwethu zibonakala ngokucacileyo kuyo, kuba ixesha kunye nendawo yomdlalo lilinganiselwe.
Kulowo osondeleyo
Cinga kwangaphambili kwimidlalo ukuthatha inxaxheba ngamandla onke, kwaye xa kulungele ukuvumelanisa, ukulungelelaniswa nendlela yobukhokeli, ongenakukwazi ukulahlekelwa. Kodwa khumbula ukuba oku ku malunga nokuqonda, kungekhona ngokuxolisa ... Musa ukuxolisa - awuyi kubeka ityala ngamava olahlekileyo; Musa ukuyihlekisa - ngoko ubeka ingozi ekuvezeni iimvakalelo zakhe. Abazali akufanele bahlale bedlala kunye nabantwana babo. Emva koko, senza inkolelo enobungozi kubo ukuba ubomi baya kuhlala bethobela iminqweno yabo. Kubalulekile ukuchazela kubo ukuba ukulahleka akubi kakhulu.
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
■ Ukubuyisela ukuzonwabisa
Dlala imidlalo ehlukeneyo. Ukuchonga abo banomdla ngokukodwa kuwe, kwaye ube ngumnene kuwe, makhe ndibadlale ... ngokuzonwabisa. Umsebenzi: ukuziva uvuyo lwenkqubo yomdlalo, kwaye kungekhona kwisiphumo salo. Khetha amaqabane apho uqinisekile kwaye uyazi ukuba isimo sabo sengqondo asinakuxhomekeka ekubeni uyaphumelela okanye ulahlekelwe.
■ Shintsha imithetho
Vumelana nawe ukuba namhlanje uya kutshintsha isimo sakho sengqondo kwilahleko (ukuba kwenzeka ntoni). Ukuba uyaphumelela, uya kuba ngumqhubi kunoma ikuphi, kuba ekugqibeleni uye wakwazi ukunqoba.
Yiba ngumdala
Njengoko sikhula, siyazivakalela ngokwengeziwe ukuba siyinkokeli kunye namandla okuqhuba ubomi bethu, kwaye siyafumana ukwaneliseka okukhulu kulo. Kumntu oye waba ngumntu omdala, umdlalo unqabile ukuba ngumdlalo okanye imfazwe, kwaye iphinda ibe yinto emnandi, ukuzizonwabisa ... Ukuba awukwazi ukudibanisa kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kwakho, kwaye unokubandezeleka kule ngxaki, umdlalo ufihla uhlobo oluthile lokungqubana nobomi. Kule meko, kukufanelekile ukuguqulwa kwe-psychotherapy, kuba ukubandezeleka akuyona umdlalo.