Indlela yokuba ngumnxibelelwano othakazelisayo?
Isibhengezo esithi "mna".
Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwingxoxo kukusetyenziswa ngokufanelekileyo kwesigamazwi "I". Xa umntu eqala ukuthetha kuphela ngaye, nokuba oko kusebenza kwisihloko sencoko, umntu odibanisa naye uya kuziva unxungupheko loxinzelelo. Ungakulibali ukuba kuwo wonke umntu into enomdla kakhulu kwincoko kukuthatha inxaxheba kwingxoxo kwimicimbi yabo nokuva ukuba igama lakhe likhankanywe kwingxoxo. Indlela echanekileyo yokulungelelanisa ukuba unxibelelwano ngumntu omele udibane naye ngegama kwaye ufunde ngokubomi ngobomi bakhe, imicimbi. Ngokwemvelo, akudingeki ukuba uyilibale ngokuzeleyo, kufuneka ube nokulungelelanisa yonke into ngokungathi uthetha ngemicimbi yakho, ukhathalele, ukukholisa umnxibelelwano. Ewe, akunakwenzeka ukuba uzibonele ukuzidumisa, kodwa xa omnye umntu enza oko, ugawula iindlebe. Kwenzeka ukuba i-monologue ibonakale ngathi: "Ndiyakholwa ukuba oku kuncedo. Ndonwabile kakhulu. Ndiyamthanda yonke into entsha. " Indlela efanelekileyo yokuxhasa incoko, kwaye ube mnxibelelwano othakazelisayo-ukujonga ingxoxo yakho kwaye ungathethi rhoqo: "Ndiye", ngendleleni, oku kungabikho abantu abaninzi. Kodwa kwimeko xa kuyimfuneko ukuba usebenzise isibizo esithi "mna" kwingxoxo nomntu obalulekileyo kuwe, kungcono ukuzama ukuyibeka endaweni "mna", "thina".
Utywala.
Enye ingongoma ebalulekileyo kule ncoko inqabileyo. Mhlawumbi uza kuba nombuzo malunga nento edibeneyo yokubandakanyeka, ukuba umnxibelelwano uthetha ngento eningavumelaniyo nayo, okanye mhlawumbi konke kukucaphukisa. Unokuphendula njani ngononophelo kwimeko apho umntu ufuna ukumemeza nje: "Uphosakele!". Okokuqala, kulungile ukukhumbula ukuba ukusola ummangalelwa ngokuthe ngqo - akwamkelekanga. Kwinqaku elithi "Uphosakele", uya kukhubeka okanye athukuthele, kwaye nangona kunjalo, umnxibelelwano uya kuqale ngokukhawuleza, kwaye akayi kuqonda into ofuna ukuyidlulisela kuye. Vumelana, kuba kukho amaxesha apho uthetha ukuba umchasi akakulungile, kwaye ngokuphendula kukho ukuphendula okukhuselayo kunye neempendulo zempendulo. Ingxabano enjalo ayisayikuphela ngokukhawuleza. Ukuba ufuna ukuzisa into kumnxibelelwano ongalunganga, yithetha oku: "Mhlawumbi, asiqondi kakuhle ...". Okanye: "Mhlawumbi andizange ndenze umbuzo ngokufanelekileyo ...". Kwiimeko ezinzima, kungcono ukubeka ityala: "Ndimele ndithethe ngokuphosakeleyo." Ukuba umntu oqhuba naye ingxoxo ngumntu oqikelelwayo, nokuba ngumntu oncinci, uya kukwazi ukuvavanya amagama akho aze aphumelele kwingxabano. Kusenokuba kwakhona ukuba umchasi uyaqhubeka enengxabano, esebenzisa inyaniso yokuba uyaphaya, kulo mzekelo, ukunyaniseka ekuphenduleni kuya kungafanelekanga. Kungcono ukuhlala ungaphazamiseki, kwaye kamva ungabona iziphumo zolu.
Isivakalisi esifanelekileyo sesivakalisi.
Ukuba, ngokuchaseneyo, yenza ukuba umntu odibanisa naye azive unetyala, ngoko kufuneka ukhethe isivakalisi esifana nale: "Ndandicinga ukuba ungumntu onobuqili, kodwa oko kungenjalo ...". Oku kungasebenza ngokuthe ngempumelelo, kungcono kunokuba ibinzana lithi: "Wandidangalisa." Ukuba, ngakolunye uhlangothi, "wena" okanye "wena" zichazwa ngezivakalisi, ngokukhawuleza ziquka ukuzikhusela, kunye nokumangalelwa ngokusebenzisa igama elithi "Ndiza" kukunika isikhundla senkokeli, kunye nomdlali - umva wecala. Ewe, kunye novavanyo lwakho oluphantsi lomsebenzi wakhe, umnxibelelwano uya kufuna ukucelomngeni, kodwa oko ucinga ukuba akuyi kuba umngeni ngumntu ngaphandle kwakho. Umntu oxoxisana naye akayi kuthi: "Hayi, awunaso ukuphoxeka, uyavuya kakhulu", kuba kuya kuzwakala kungenangqiqo.
Isibhengezo esithi "Thina".
Kwaye enye ingongoma kulabo abafuna ukuthetha ngokuthakazelisayo. Ukuba ufuna ukuhambelana nomntu, ukuyivuselela, kufuneka uqale ngokuthetha ukuba kwintetho esithethayo "thina", kungekhona "mna". Emva koko, isimemezelo esithi "thina" sabantu sidibanisa. Ukuba umntu uya kuphulaphula amagama anjengokuthi "Sithetha ngoku", "Siyicombulula", "Sisebenze ngokukhawuleza", uya kuqonda ukuba unento efana naye, ngoko, kufuneka unamathele kunye. Ngokuqhelekileyo eli qhinga lisetyenziswe ekukhetheni. I-Pick-up - inkqubo yobuchule beprogram ye-neurolinguistic, ejoliswe ekubangela uvuyo kumntu oyithandayo. Xa abantu bechitha ixesha kunye, elinye iqabane liyishwankathela, lisithi "thina" kwaye siqhubisana nelinye ukuqonda ukuba liyiqela eliqinileyo-elipheleleyo.
Qaphela:
Kufuneka kuthathelwe ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ufunde indlela yokuthetha ngokuchanekileyo nabantu kuphela ngamava akho, ngoko kufuneka ukhulumisane kwaye ukhumbule ubuchule obuchazwe kweli nqaku, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo unokuba ngumnxibelelwano othakazelisayo kakhulu.