Indlela yokutshata, ukuba ungaphezu kwe-30: isikhokelo esifutshane

Izibalo zingenangqumbo kubantu besetyhini abangamaqabane emva kwe-30. Uthi ibhinqa le "Balzac" linethuba elingcono lokuba lixhoba le-maniac kunokutshata. Esi sibuhlungu kwaye asikhuthazi naluphi na uhlobo ukukhangela isisombululo kwingxaki yokulondeka ngexesha lokukhula. Abazali, abaqhelana nabo nabasebenzi baqedile lo mbuzo wesigqabantshi: "Ewe, sele kuvele nini?" Ndifuna ukuphendula kubo bonke ngegama elivela kwi-anecdote: "Ndiyathanda ukuya emngcwabeni, kungekhona kwimitshato. Abazibuze: "Uphi na?"

Intsapho yendawo esondeleyo, apho zonke izalamane, abahlobo kunye nabamantombazana beentombi, zibangela ukuba bazive benetloni ekubeni "akukho nto ifana nabantu." Ukutyelela kwiziganeko zentsapho kubangela ukudumala ekungabikho komsebenzi wobomi bomntu, ukungabikho kwabantwana abambalwa, indlu enkulu nenja entle. Xa uneminyaka engama-30, abaninzi abafazi bafanele babe nazo zonke iziganeko zentsapho. Kodwa apha ikhalenda yobomi iphonsa 31, 32, 33 okanye 35, kodwa akukho nto iguquka. Yiyiphi imbangela yokulondeka kunye nendlela yokutshata xa uphaya kwama-30?

Izizathu zokulondeka emva kweminyaka engama-30

Uphando ngezesayiknoloji zenzululwazi luchaza izinto ezininzi ezithintela umntu omdala, umfazi oye wakwazi ukuzibona emtshatweni. Nazi ezinye izinto eziphambili:

1. Ukunyaniseka okukhulu kumadoda. Ngomnyaka ngamnye omtsha wobomi bakhe, ibhinqa liba nolwazi oluninzi, lufuna ngakumbi kunye nehlabathi elikujikelezayo. Uyazi yena ngokwakhe kwaye, ngokufanelekileyo, alungele ukunika ubuhle, amava, ubulumko kwixabiso "abathengi iimpahla", apho amadoda ambalwa anokucinga ukuba abanako ukufikelela. Kodwa kunyanzelisa umfazi, amathuba amancinci anayo kwimarike yothando. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho mntu ubiza umnqweno kwi-muzhikku kwi-armful. Kukulungele ukusebenzisa amava akho obomi ukufumanisa phakathi kokuhamba kwamadoda umntu onako. Kwaye, njengoko i-heroine eyaziwayo ye-movie yathi: "Ngomfazi olungileyo kunye nendoda inokuba ngumntu."
2. Ukuzithoba. Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ukuba umfazi olwa nokulwa neengxaki zezingane ulahlekelwe ixesha lokudala intsapho, ebonisa yena kunye nehlabathi lonke ukuba ufanelekile into ethile: i-ofisi ephezulu, indlu enkulu, imoto ehloniphekileyo. Okanye sele sele enamava olwahlula ubomi bentsapho, apho wayefakwe khona kwiinkomfa ezonakalisa ukuzithemba. Ukungakhuselekanga, nangona iguqulwe njengegama elingenakulungile okanye ilizwe elimangalisayo, kuthintela ibhinqa ukuba livumeleke indoda engatshatanga nentsapho.

3. Umbono womzingeli. Abasetyhini ababeka umgomo wokutshata nakweyiphi intengo, amadoda ayesaba ngezinga elingaphantsi kwengqondo, evakalelwa ngumgca womgca othi kubo "ungumzingeli". Kwaye akukho ngozi! Ngaloo nto, inzuzo, ukuziphatha kwesidlo, ishiye "ekuzingeleni". Amadoda kakhulu acinga iimpawu zamanzi kunye nezibonakaliso ezingekho ngamagama, apho iingqondo zabo zikhetha ukuba yingozi. Abameli besigqeba esomeleleyo sabantu abanakulungele ukuyeka ilungelo lomzingeli obekwe kwiqondo lofuzo. Bona ngokwabo bathanda ukubamba "inkunzi" ekhohlisayo neyongqambileyo, apho abanye abazange bakwazi ukufikelela kumanethiwekhi abo othando.
4. Ukuphikiswa kweentliziyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kubafazi abangamaqabane abangabodwa, ukufumanisa yiyo efihlakeleyo phantsi kweenjongo zokunyaniseka kwabo. Abaninzi babo, sele befikelele kwiminyaka engamashumi amathathu, baqhelekile ukuba baphile ngaphandle kwembopheleleko, ukukhathalela kunye noxanduva lwabo, abakulungele ukwabelana nale mithwalo engabalulekanga nangenxa yesikhulu. Baqonda ukuba ixesha elide lokutshata, kodwa inkululeko, eyabonakala iyodwa, iyabiza. Ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi kunye nokungaqiniseki kukufutshane nomtshato.

Izinzuzo zomtshato emva kweminyaka engama-30

Kukho iintsuku apho abafazi emva kweminyaka engama-30 bebizwa ngokuba ngabafana bentombi, bafumanisa ukuba "isithsaba se-celibacy" bafaka umnqamlezo ngomtshato wabo. Namhlanje, abafazi abadlulileyo kulo mgca wobudala bacinga ukuba banelisekile kwaye banothando. Kwaye le festile yala mabhinqa ibaluleke ngakumbi. Amadoda amadala afuna umfazi ukulungele uthando oluvuthiweyo kunye nolwalamano olufanelekileyo. Abasetyhini nabo babona ekufumaneni isimo semitshato emva kweenzuzo ezingamashumi amathathu ngaphezu kokungalungi. Ezi ziquka:

1. Ubomi obubutyebi. Uneminyaka engama-30 ubudala sele sele enezakhono zobomi eziyimfuneko. Bafunde indlela yokusebenzisa ngokunenzuzo iziqhamo zabo zangasese kunye nokuzuza, bafunde kwiimpazamo kwaye bathembeke kumntu wesintu.
2. Mandla amakhulu. Eli bhinqa lakwazi ukuziqonda kwiinkalo ezininzi zobomi, kunye nokuphucula iimpawu ezifunekayo ukuze kuphunyezwe ngempumelelo amandla akhe amabhinqa. Unako okokunika, kungekhona nje ukuthabatha.

3. ZoLwazi ngezoBomi. Umfazi omdala usebenzise ngokusemthethweni ulutsha lwakhe ukuhamba, ubeke izicaka zamadoda ezinyaweni zakhe aze anelise ukuzethemba kwakhe kwezesifazana. Uvuthiwe intsapho.
4. Amava ezesondo. Kule minyaka ubukhulu bentombi yobundlobongela, okwenziwe ngumfazi ukuba afunde kwaye afunde ukusebenzisa le mandla amakhulu. Indoda iya kufumana ukhilimu wesini kunye nolwazi lwakhe lothando.
5. Umzimba wesisu. Abasetyhini ababeletha abantwana xa bekhulile baba ngabaxanduva, abanobulumko nabanengqiqo. Ukubeleka emva kweminyaka engama-30 kunomlinganiselo ophezulu wokuqaphela.

Indlela yokutshata emva kweminyaka engama-30?

Ukuba amantombazana avunyelwe ukutshata eneminyaka engama-20 kuphela kwintliziyo yentliziyo, emva kweminyaka engama-30 intliziyo yowesifazane sele iphoqelekile ukuba ihlakaniphe kwaye ilandele iqhinga elithile. Ukutshata kuku-4 amanyathelo angundoqo:

1. Ukufumana iinjongo ezilungileyo. Impendulo ethembekileyo kumbuzo wesidingo somtshato iya kuba yintloko yonwabo. Ukuba umnqweno womtshato ulawulwa yimilinganiselo, kwaye kungekhona ngxinzelelo yoluntu, yinyani ngokwenene ukutshata.
2. Ukunqunywa kweendlela zokukhetha. Xa uneminyaka engama-30, phantse wonke umfazi uyazi ukuba yiyiphi impawu yakhe indoda ezayo kufuneka ibe nayo, kwaye ngokungabikho kwanoma yimuphi na uya kukwazi ukudibanisa. Ezi zimpawu, ukusuka kwidatha yangaphandle ukuya kwindlela yokucinga, kufuneka zihlaziywe kwaye "zivakaliswe" kwiphepha.
3. Ukuziphucula. Ibhinqa kufuneka lizithande kuqala. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka uzithande, ixesha lokutshala, ulwazi kunye nezibonelelo ekuphuhliseni kwakho. Owesifazane oqeqeshwe kakuhle, olungeleyo kwaye onesihe uya kufumana umyeni ofanelekileyo kunanoma yiphina iminyaka.
4. Phuma ekukhanyeni. Ngelishwa, amadoda angenakukwazi ukwenza izinto kwindawo yokuthuthuzela. Kuyimfuneko ngenxa yoluhlu olukhethekileyo ukutshintsha indlela yokuphila yokuphila, ukushiya indlu epholileyo kwaye ube yindawo yokuhlala apho kukho amadoda avela kumphupha.