Ngelizwi, zonke iinjongo zolu hlobo lobomi "obonwabileyo" obulindele ixesha elide. Njengokuba kukho, kuthethwa ngentetho ethi: "+ kwaye bahlala umphefumlo emphefumlweni, bade banovuyo"? Ewe, ndibonise umntu oqulunqa iindlovu! Kodwa ekuqalekeni, konke kwaqala ngokucokisekileyo! Ulwandle lweentyantyambo, ulwandle oluthandwayo, ii-serenades phantsi kweefestile, kuphela amagama angamahle kunye neentlonelo zoonobumba bokuthakazelisa (ixesha elide lihlala kwi-intanethi, kwaye ke ngaphandle kwendoda nangayiphi indlela!)
Wayekhathalela njani kwaye wayemnene, uyabakhathalela kwaye uyanyamekela! Yaye yintoni eyayimnandi kunye neyokuthakazelisa, iyathuthumela kwaye iyamangalisa! Babenakho konke, kumabhayisikobho e-American amantombazana: i-chic bouquets kunye neevenkile ezidliwayo, bakwazi ukuhlangabeza ukusa kwelanga kunye nelanga. Kwaye ke ibhokisi elincinci, ebomvu ngesimo senhliziyo kunye namahlanu amnandi: "Uya kutshata na?" Eyona nto yonke into yayihamba ngokukhawuleza nje "umtshato wawuhlabelela kwaye udansa +", ubuhlobo "bubuhlungu!", Amaphupha omama wam lonwabo + Ubumnandi obumnandi bephelile ngowokuqala, kodwa sele usenokuba ngumngcipheko wentsapho ngombuzo othi: "Ngaba umama wayekhala ngenxa yolonwabo?"
Sekuqaleni kwiinyanga zokuqala zobomi obumbene, isibini esitshatileyo sibukele ubungqina obubuhlungu bokuphila kwentsapho yabo yolonwabo . Kwaye akubalulekanga ukuba bahlala bethana kangakanani inyanga okanye iminyaka emininzi. Bonke kunye namacangci amancinci athile athengayo amatsha, mhlawumbi ayengamnandi, kodwa kusenjalo izalamane, yonke imicimbi yebhanti ejikeleze indlu, iindleko ezimele zihlawulwe, kodwa uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali luye lwadityaniswa, kodwa kwathiwa kufuneka uceba. Kule xesha alikho ixesha elilula lokubhalwa ngabalinganiswa, umfazi uthatha iilazi zakhe ezinemibala eqaqambileyo kwaye uqala ukuqonda ukuba intanda yakhe ayithandi ukuphosa iisokisi ezingcolileyo ejikeleze indlu kunye nokusela ubhiya kunye nabahlobo. Esi sibonakaliso esilula sendlela ubudlelwane bomtshato obutshintsha ngayo. Umyeni, naye, ubona ukuba umfazi wakhe othandekayo akayiyo yonke indawo, kodwa ungumqhubi weconceratory. Ubuso bomntu obandulela umtshato buwa, ubuso obunene bomntu bubonakala ngakumbi, kwaye ngoko, njengoko ilizwi lihambayo: umphefumlo wagijimela eParadesi +
Omnye wabahlobo bam abatshatileyo engaphantsi kweminyaka engama-30, uyakhumbula: "Xa ndandisandula ukutshata nomyeni wam ozayo, ndandimangaliswa ngokuchaneka kwakhe nangokunyaniseka." Emva komtshato wangandipha, wangqina ukuba ukuchaneka kwakhe kusebenza kuye ngokwakhe: akaqhelekanga Izinto zokuqala, abakwazi ukukhipha udoti, okanye bahlambulule ukuhlamba emva kwabo, kwaye akukho nto ingabonakaliyo kunye nokuthetha, ngokuqhelekileyo ibe yinto enzima. "Isiqingatha sonyaka kamva, njengoko ndafumanisa ukuba indoda yam yindodana yonyana wam, kubonakala ngathi yachithwa kwaye Ndiyakuxabisa ubudlelwane kunye nezihlobo zamyeni, ndoloze enye into - kuzo zonke iintlobo zengxabano umyeni wam uhlala ecaleni kwam, kodwa zonke izinto, izinto ezincinci. "Kwiintlobo ezininzi emva komtshato, ubuhlobo bethu buphuculwe: sisinye Sinobubomi bobabini, izicwangciso eziqhelekileyo kunye neenjongo.Ungasetyenziselwa yonke into, uhlala ndawonye ngokubanzi, into ephambili kukuba bobabini bazama ukudala intsapho eyonwabileyo. "
Iingcali zengqondo kwilizwe: isimo sezemali, uthando, ukunxibelelana, ukutshatyalaliswa, ukukhulisa abantwana kunye nemisebenzi yasemakhaya yintloko yezinto ezahlukeneyo zomtshato, zezi zizathu zokuba ulwalamano lomtshato luguquka. Xa utshata, khumbula: abantu abanqabile ukutshintsha kwinto eyenza uhlobo lwabo. Umfazi nje uchitha ixesha ezama ukuphinde afundise umyeni wakhe, yena naye uzama ukutshintsha, phakathi kwazo zonke iimbambano, akukho nabathandwayo abaqapheli ukuba, abazenzi isinyathelo omnye komnye, kodwa baya kuhamba ngokunyuka. Emva komtshato umncinane uqala ukuvuselela ubuhlobo, kwaye oku, njengoko siyazi, kufuna umonde nokuhlakanipha. Yilumke, kuba awukwazi ukuphepha iingxabano kunye neengxaki nakwimtshato evuya kakhulu!
Iingqinisiso zithi: i-26% yeqhawulo-mtshato iyawa kwizibini ezitshatileyo zingaphantsi kweminyaka emibini, kunye ne-51% yeqhawulo-mtshato-kwiminyaka emihlanu yokuqala yokuhlala kunye, yonke into yokuba ubudlelwane bomtshato buyashintsha. Nangona kunjalo, uya kuvuma, ukuba nithandana kwaye nifuna ukugcina intsapho entsha, ngoko akukho masokisi ahlakazekile akuyi kukuthintela, kodwa inyaniso ihlala iyinyaniso!
Ngelinye ilanga, umhlobo wam, owayengazange abe nexesha lokuma umama, wabuza: "Ubomi buntshintsha njani emva kokuzalwa komntwana, kwaye utshintshe nantoni na?" Ndathi kuye: "Akukho nto iguquka, nje ubomi obudala obungapheliyo buphela kwaye iqalo elitsha liqala." Ukususela kwiminithi yokuqala yokubonakala komntwana endlwini, nguye oba ngumbindi wengqalelo kwintsapho. Into kuphela eguqula ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, kwaye kungengcono. Esinye sezizathu eziqhelekileyo zokusatshalaliswa phakathi kwabatshatileyo kukudandatheka kwangemva kwesithuba. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oomama abatsha bafumana le meko, ngezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo: uxanduva, uxanduva lwexesha elizayo, ukushiya ubomi bomntu kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukukhathala okungapheliyo. Oomama abaninzi abatsha ngexesha lokukhulelwa iphupha lokubonakala komntwana oya kubathanda. Kodwa emva kokuzalwa, iphupha liphuka liyi nyaniso, ngaphandle koko, umfana omncinci obomvu obomvu uhlala ekhala, kwaye akabukeli njengengelosi evela kwiivenkile!
Ngokubhekiselele kumfanekiso, uphi, uphiphi na? Ngaphambili, wawuyindoda enhle, enhle, enamafutha ekhuni kwaye ukhulelwe, kwaye ngoku - unomthwalo kunye nemivungu engaphantsi kwamehlo, isikhumba esiluhlaza kunye + Nezizathu zokudakumba, ngaphezu koko, ungakhumbuli ukutshintsha kwe-hormones emzimbeni.
Enye into efana nengqondo yengqondo ihlolwe ngababawo, andinamahloni ukuthetha ukuba oku kunzima kakhulu kubo. Amadoda, ngokungafani nabasetyhini, badinga ixesha elide ukuba bazibonele njengoyise, kwaye ukwesaba ukungabambisani nemithwalo kabawo, kudala uxinzelelo lwelizwe.
Ngeli xesha elinzima, ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kubalulekile. Umfazi uthi umlingane akayinyamekeli yena okanye umntwana, akayikuyixabisa imizamo yakhe kwaye uziphatha njengomgxeki nokuzingca! Umyeni ukhathele ngumfazi onomsindo kunye nosizi olungapheliyo, uvalelwe ngaphakathi kuye, uhlala ehlala emsebenzini. Umntwana omncinane olindelwe ixesha elide kunye nelo lonke elithandwayo nguye ubangelwa yinkathazo yentsapho.
U-Natalia uyakhumbula umnyaka wokuqala emva kokubeleka njengephupha elibi: "Ukuzalwa kwonyana wethu kwakungokuqala kokuphela kobomi bentsapho." Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuzalwa, ndaqala ukuxinezeleka, kwakubonakala ngathi ubomi buphelile. "Yonke into eyaba yintsingiselo yobomi bam ngumntwana, indlu , i-diapers, ihambahamba-yonke into yayingathi kum .Umyeni wahlala emsebenzini, wafika njenge-lemon eyinyumba kwaye walala embhedeni. Ndandicinga ukuba ukukhathala kwakhe kunye nesambatho akuhambisani nam. akuyi kuba nakuphela Ngomlwano olandelayo ndandimemeza ukuba indoda yam ayifanelekanga njengoyise, kwaye umyeni wam waphendule ukuba wayefumana imali, umntwana wayemsebenzi wam, kwaye ndandifuna ukutshintsha indima enye imini, ndizame endaweni yam - mhlawumbi uya kuqonda ukuba kunzima kangakanani kum! "Ekugqibeleni, lam iqabane alizange liyeke emsebenzini, kodwa laphela ebusuku, emva kweminyaka emibini sagqiba umtshato." Le ngongoma engalunganga yindlela ubudlelwane bomtshato obutshintsha ngayo.
Phuma kule meko kulula, phulaphula ingcebiso yesazi sengqondo kwaye ulondoloze intsapho yakho. Abasetyhini banelungelo lokunciphisa uxinzelelo lwabo ngokuguqula isimo sengqondo malunga noxanduva olutsha. Shintsha igqoko eligqokeyo yengubo enhle, utshintshe izinwele, uthenge ifilimu enhle - yabona yonke intsapho. Uthi: "nje ezintlupheko", kodwa udlala indima enkulu ekulondolozeni intsapho kwaye ngokufanelekileyo ubeke endaweni yokudandatheka kunye neentlekele!
"Mama, ungubani?" Ndaye ndava ukuhlambalaza kumyeni wam kumhlobo wam.
Nasi isizathu esithile sokuba ulwahlukane - ukugxininiswa ngokupheleleyo kunomama kumntwana. Ukubuya emsebenzini, umyeni akayiqondi apho iimpawu eziqhelekileyo zeengqalelo ziye kuye, endaweni yokumondla isidlo sakusihlwa, ubuze indlela izinto ezisemsebenzini eziva ngayo: "Ndiphelile, andinaso ixesha, kwaye ngokubanzi, unokuyenza yonke into yakho." Lo ngumzekelo omnye wendlela ulwalamano olutshintsha ngayo emva komtshato.
Akanomdla kwixesha eliza kuza ngalo, oko uya kudla, enoba unayo i-shirt ecocekileyo, engakhankanyi ngesondo, wayekuphela kweeholide ezinkulu.
Ukungabikho kwengqalelo kudla ngokuphelisa ngokukrexeza kwicala, okokuqala ngxenyeni yonyaka emva kokuvela komntwana kwintsapho. Indoda ivakalelwa kukuba ayifuni, ifunyenwe indawo, kwaye ibe kwindawo yesibini ayifuni. Kuyavakala, kodwa inyaniso, iqabane lidla ngokuba nomona ngegazi lakhe, ngenxa yokuba umfazi akazange agcine ubudlelwane bokudlulela, kwaye wamgxotha umyeni wakhe kwisicwangciso sesibini.
Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa: emva kokubonakala komntwana kwintsapho akufanele ijolise kumzali omnye, ukuze ubudlelwane bungatshintshi. Ukukhweleka komyeni kwinkwenkwe kulungeleleneyo, kwaye kubonakala kuphela xa umfazi engabandakanyi ebomini bomlingane, ngokupheleleyo kwaye unika ngokupheleleyo umntwana. Ootata noomama abathandekayo, asifanele sikhohlwe ukuba ngoku kukho abathathu kuni, kwaye wonke umntu uyamthanda umntwana wakho ngendlela yakho.
Ngokuphathelele "iimvakalelo zokupholisa" ngenxa yomfazi wala madoda ayenakho ekuzalweni,
kunokwenzeka ukuba, isizathu, asikho isizathu. Njengoko bethetha, bafazi abathandekayo, amakhadi ezandleni zenu-jonga ukuphuka kobudlelwane benu, kungekhona ukuba abathembekileyo bakhangele kuwe, baphelelwe amandla, bengenziwanga kwigumbi lokuhambisa.
Ubudlelwane bezithandani ezimbini, njengemanqanaba, eqala ngomhla wokuqala, ukuqaphela kokuqala + Isigaba ngasinye sobudlelwane - inqanaba lokuphila obutsha. Akunandaba nantoni na ukuba ngumtshato okanye isigaba esitsha ebuhlotsheni bakho, ukukhulelwa okanye ukuzalwa komntwana, kubalulekile ukuba unyanimene ugqibe ekubeni kunye kunye nentlungu novuyo, kwaye ungakhohlwa ukuba ubudlelwane bomtshato buyashintsha.
Othandekayo abasandul 'ukutshatyalaliswa baqonda zonke iimpikiswano kunye nokugaya njengento yokwenene yobomi, ngoko uya kuphila ngokuvuyisa emva koko, kwaye abantwana abonwabileyo bazalwa kwintsapho evuya. Emva koko, nithandaza? Emva koko baya kuthi ngawe: "+ kwaye bahlala bevuya ngokulandela +".