Kutheni ujonge ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana wakho?
Ilahleko ehambelana nomntu okanye umntwana wesinye isiqhelo kubonisa ukuba kukho ukwesaba kunye namava kumphuphi. Kungenzeka ukuba ezi nkxalabo zingabangelwa zizihlandlo ezidlulileyo zexesha elidlulileyo. Ekubeni umntwana ufuzisela ubudlelwane obufudumele kunye novulekileyo, ngoko ukulahleka kwakhe kunokuthi ukufihla nokungaqiniseki komphuphi ngokumalunga nabanye abantu. Umntu akawuboni intsingiselo yobomi, akukho nto inokubangela ukuba iinqwenelelo ezintsha. Mhlawumbi mhlawumbi, le miyimbo ingaba ngumphumo wokungcatsha okanye ukunakekelwa ngumntu othandekayo owayeyintanda kakhulu kumphuphi.
Kwincwadi yephupha likaMiller, ukulahlekelwa ngumntwana akukho nto ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ngumntu onoyolo. Iphupha liye layeka ukufumana uvuyo kunye nokukwazi ukuvakalelwa, yonke into ayinandaba naye. Kubonakala ukuba ubomi obunokuzithiba kunye nobunzima buya kubangela ukudandatheka okude.
Ukuthetha ngokuqhelekileyo, ukulahlekelwa okanye ukulibala umntwana ephupheni kuyimpawu engafanelekanga. Ukuba umphuphi wayefuna umntwana wakhe, ebomini bokwenene kuyafaneleka ukulinda ukukhohlisa okanye ukudumala. Xa unxibelelwano olusondeleyo nolwalamntwana, ukuphoxeka okanye ubuxoki omele ulinde kwinxalenye yothandekayo.
Kwezinye iincwadi zephupha, unokufumana ukuchazwa okuthe ngqo, oku kuthetha ukuba leli bali lithembisa ukuhluleka kokulala kuyo yonke imisebenzi yokudala. Iziganeko ezicwangcisiweyo ziya kuhlala zingekho. Kungenzeka ukuba kwindawo yakho kukho abantu abaya kuvuya ngokunyanisekileyo ngenxa yokungafezeki kwakho, ngoko sincoma ukuba ubuye ucinge kwakhona isangqa sakho sazana.
Ukwandisa ukuchazwa kunokukwenza amava akho ephupheni. Ukuba ukhe uloyiko, ukwethuka kunye nolonwabo olukhulu, ukuchazwa ngentla kungaphathiswa nokulahlekelwa kwemali. Unokulindela ukuba kungekudala uza kulahleka igama lakho langaphambili, imeko ekhoyo kuluntu. Kuza kuhlala wena kuphela abo bathanda ngobuqotho kwaye bethengiswa.
Lahla ukukhulelwa ephupheni: njani ukutolika?
Ukutshatyalaliswa okanye ukukhipha isisu ephupheni kukubonakalisa inkathazo, uluntu kunye nentukuthelo enamandla. Emva kwendaba, ungamangaliswa ukuba ube yintlanzi yokukhohliswa okanye yokungcatsha. Akumangalisi ukuba basebenzise, kwaye uyathemba iimvakalelo kunye namazwi angenakuthetha. Ukukhangela isahlulo sesibini sinokuhlehliselwa ixesha elizayo, kuba akukho baqhelana nabo abangaqhelangayo ukuxela kwangaphambili leli phupha. Ukuba umfazi ephupheni ulahlekelwe ngumntwana ngenkathi ekhulelwe, oku kuya kuthetha kwakhona ngezinye zeengozi zobomi bokwenene.
Kwexesha elithile emva kokulala akusixesha elihle lokukhulelwa. Ukuba oku kubonakalayo ekukhulelweni, ngoko ke ukwesaba okwenene, oku kuvezwe kwiphupha. Ngoko ke, zama ukucinga ngezinto ezintle, iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo kunye namava ahlala egalelo kwimpilo embi.
Ukulahlekelwa abantwana kwiphupha, nangona kukho uphawu olubi, kodwa kukukwenza ucinge. Okokuqala, kuyisiganeko sokuqwalasela iimemori kunye nokwesaba kwakho, okuphazamisa umphefumlo kwaye unganiki ukuphumla. Nesizathu esibalulekileyo sokutshintsha isimo sakho sengqondo kubantu abathile. Mhlawumbi, ukuvuleka kakhulu okanye, ngokungafaniyo, ukungathembeki kuya kudlala uhlazo olunenkohlakalo kunye nawe, ngoko qaphela!