Ewe, wonk 'ubani uyazi ukuba aba bantu baninzi abantu abanomdla ongabonakali ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo neemvakalelo zabo. Baye bafihla uthando lwabo ngesityalo esinqatshelwe ngokucokisekileyo kunabesifazane. Kungenxa yoko, amantombazana amaninzi ayinakukubuza ukuba ngaba abafana bayakuthanda. Kwaye, ngaphezu koko, indoda ingamthanda omnye umfazi ebomini bakhe bonke
Uthando luvakalelwa kukuba yonke imiphefumlo kunye neentliziyo zithobela. Kwaye abo bantu bathi uthando alukho, ukuba yintlupheko yengqondo okanye umlutha, eqinisweni bayayithanda okanye beyithandayo. Ngaloo nto, uthando lwabo lwaluvuyile okanye alupheli, kwaye ngoku indoda iyazama ukuvala zonke iindlela ezivela kulo mvakalelo kwaye ifihle imvakalelo yakhe yokwenene ukuze ingabuyi kubuhlungu kwakhona.
Ngaba kukho uthando olungunaphakade? Kuthiweyo ukuba kwihlabathi kukho abantu basebenzelana nomntu ohlala ubomi babo kuphela ngenxa yomntu oyedwa. Kwaye phakathi kwabo akukho bhinqa kuphela, kodwa namadoda. Abantu abanjalo banokubuhlungu ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nokuthandana. Baya kuhlala bodwa iminyaka, behlala becinga ngomntu othandekayo, bezama ukumbuyisela okanye abambe. Enyanisweni, ukuziphatha okunjalo kukuba, kungekhona ukudibanisa, kodwa kuncinci. Kuphela kwiifilimi ezinokubandezeleka okunjalo kunokukhangela omnye ngaphandle kokumisa nokunyaniseka kwintando yothando, ngakumbi xa umntu efumana oku. Kodwa ukuba yonke into eyenzekayo ebomini bokwenene, uthando olungenalo. Enyanisweni, kunzima ukujonga indlela umhlobo abuna ngayo aze azibhubhise ngenxa yokuba into yakhe yothando ayithandanga. Ukuba umntu akayeki ngexesha, unokuqalisa ukufumana iingxaki nge-psyche. Kungenxa yoko, sinokuthi abantu banomdla ongunaphakade wokuthanda kwabo bonke ubomi babo, kodwa kuluthando kungcono ukubanceda ukuba balahle, kuba ukuba oko kungenziwanga, ubomi bunokuba bufutshane. Kwaye akukhona nje ukuzibulala. Ukuxhatshazwa kweentlungu kunye namava anesifo esibi kakhulu kwinkqubo ye-cardiovascular and psyche. Ngoko ke, ukuba awufuni ukuba umfana osondele kuwe ukuba afe ngesifo senhliziyo okanye ukuba kwisibhedlele sengqondo, kungcono ukumqinisekisa ukuba uthando ludlula, iindlela zangempela kunye ezingenangqiqo, buya kwakhona, kwaye kufuneka ubekezele. Ewe, kuya kuba buhlungu kwaye kunzima kuye, kodwa ngaphandle koluncedo lomnye umntu, iimvakalelo ezinjalo ziba yingqungquthela enobungqina obunqamlekileyo, obunzima kwaye obonakalisa umntu. Enyanisweni, uthando luhlala ngonaphakade, kodwa lushintsha ifom. Kwaye ukuba umntu akayilungisi into enye, ngokukhawuleza unokufumana uhlobo olutsha lokubonakalisa uthando. Kodwa, kuba oku kuyimfuneko ukujonga ngapha. Kwaye abanqwenelekayo abathandi abafuni ukukwenza oku, kwaye ngenxa yoko bayabandezeleka ngothando lwabo iminyaka emininzi.
Kodwa, ke, akubona bonke abantu abafanele bahlupheke ngothando olungenanto. Ngaba kukho uthando ngokubomi? Ngaba umntu unokuhlala ehlala neentombi zentliziyo kuphela kwaye engayithobeli abanye?
Ewe, kwenzeka, kodwa, kwiimeko ezinjalo, kuninzi kuxhomekeke kubafazi. Amantombazana anokubulala uthando kumadoda abo. Ngelishwa, yinyani, kungakhathaliseki ukuba singayi kulahla njani le mibono. Ukuzihlambalaza, ukuhlambalaza kunye nokuyeka, ukusola kunye nomona, ukungabi nentshisekelo kwezocansi kunye nezinye izinto ezikhokelela ekubeni abantu baqala ukudanisa abo bathandayo. Kule minyaka, ukukhungatheka kubuthelela kwaye uthando luya kunqumla xa iimfuno eziqhelekileyo kunye nokuqonda okufanayo kuyalahleka.
Kodwa, ukuba abafazi kunye namadoda bayakwazi ukuzilumko, yenza izinto eziye zazinganisa kunye nokuqonda, kulo mzekelo indoda iya kumthanda umfazi wayo bonke ubomi bakhe. Kwaye akukho mntu uthetha ngomnqweno wokulangazelela okhoyo phakathi kwebini kwiminyaka yokuqala. Akukho mfihlo yokuba ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kudlulayo, kodwa kukho enye into. Ubuhlobo, inkxaso, ukuzithemba komnye nomnye, uthando. Uthando luhluke, kodwa kwinto yokuba utshintshe uhlobo lwalo, isitshixo asiyikutshintsha. Abanye badibanisa uthando, uthando nothando, ngoko baqiniseke ukuba uthando lunokuphela. Hayi, ngokwenene. Uthando lokwenene luthatha ifom ephakamileyo, ekungekho zonke izibini ezifikelela kuyo. Vumelani, kuba phakathi kwabantu abadala abahlala ndawonye iminyaka engama-50 sele bengenalo inzondo, kodwa indlela abaxhasana ngayo, indlela abayifumana ngayo, indlela abahamba ngayo ngengalo epakini yokukwindla, yonke loo mvakalelo eyayizalwa ngexesha elibonakalayo ebusheni uthando. Kwaye emva koko-yanda yaba ngumhlobo nomsa, kwaye ngoku sele iyingxenye ebalulekileyo yemiphefumlo yabo. Abantu abakucingi ukuba kudlulileyo ukuba bangabi kunye. Abaqapheli ukuba oku akunakwenzeka. Ukubonwa komnye nomnye njengengxenye yakho kukubonakalisa uthando olungenakuphulwa nokutshatyalaliswa.
Enyanisweni, phantse wonke umntu angamthanda umfazi omnye ubomi bakhe bonke. Kodwa, akubona bonke badibana nale ntombazana enokuyenza kwaye imele ithande ngonaphakade. Ngelishwa, akubona zonke iibinibini ziyingxenye yesibini yomnye nomnye. Ngamanye amaxesha abantu benza iimpazamo, kodwa abakwazi ukuvuma impazamo yabo, ngenxa yoko, ngenxa yoko, bahlupheka ixesha elifutshane emva komnye kwaye bahlukane.
Ngaba indoda inokuthanda omnye umfazi ebomini bakhe bonke? Kulo mbuzo, wonke umntu unikela impendulo yakhe, ethembele kumava kunye neemeko ezenzeka kuye ebomini. Kodwa, abantu abaye bafumana uthando lwabo lokwenene, baya kuthi imvakalelo ayidluli kunye nexesha, kodwa iguqule iifomu zazo kwaye ikhule ibe yinto ngaphandle kokuba iziva ingenanto kwaye ubomi babo bungenanto. Bonke abantu banako ukuthanda kwaye akuxhomekeke ekubeni uyindoda okanye umfazi. Umbuzo kuphela. Ngaba kukho abantu endleleni yokuphila abafanelwe uthando lwethu. Ukuba kunjalo, ngoko nayiphi na umntu uya kuba nemvakalelo yokuba uya kuthwala ukuya kutsho ngosuku lokugqibela lobomi bakhe.