Ukuba intombazana ibe ngowokuqala ukubiza, cela inombolo yefowuni, qalisa ukudlala ngothando, ncokola nomfana omhle-ingxoxo enjalo ayiyinto entsha, kwaye iingxoxo ezikule sihloko ziqhubekile ixesha elide, kwaye akukho ncam. Kubonakala ngathi yonke imithombo iya kuqalisa ukudibanisa ukuba le ntombazana ayifanele kuthathe kuqala amanyathelo olwalamano, kwaye ngokubanzi, kufuneka ihlale imfihlelo kuyo yonke ubudlelwane. Kodwa nangona kunjalo kuya kubakho abo baya kuphulaphula le mithetho, kuya kuba neengxoxo ezintsha: ngaba ziya kuphulwa kwaye kuya kwenzeka ntoni.
Kumele uzigqibelele oko kuthetha ntoni kuwe ukuba uthathe isinyathelo sokuqala, kwaye ufuna ukuba ukhetho lwakho luziphathe njani kwisicwangciso seqhinga. Omnye uthanda ukuwubonisa, omnye ukwamkela nokuphendula kwimpawu zengqalelo. Kodwa, nangona konke oku, ngamnye wethu wenza ngokubhekiselele kwimeko, ukhetha ukhetho oluchanekileyo, ngokubhekiselele kumgangatho wobudlelwane, uhlobo lwesibini isibini, iimeko, nomoya okwangoku.
Amanye amantombazana akhathazeke kakhulu ngokungabikho kwamanyathelo okukhethwa kwabo. Ukuba okwesikhashana umfana uyayeka ukubizela okanye uqaphele ukuba waqala ukubonisa iimpawu zengqwalasela encinane kangako, amazwi anjalo abe ngumqondiso ocacileyo wokuxhalabisa. Intombazana iqala ukuzivuselela ukuba loo nto ikhulile kuye, ukuba ayimdingi ngoku kwaye ngokuyininzi ngeli xesha (nangona nje kungekudala) wakwazi ukuthandana nentombazana kwaye wayikhohlwa yaya phambili. Mhlawumbi akayintombazana nantoni na ngoku uqala ukumcaphukisa? Nangona intombazana icinga ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngezizathu zokuba kwenzeke ntoni, ibuye ibuye ibuke iimbali zobudlelwane kwaye ikhangele enye inkohliso, loo nto inokuxakeka ukufunda, usuku lokuzalwa loodade wakhe othandekayo, enye ingxaki eyabuhlungu ngokukhawuleza kunye nomhlobo wayo, okanye ukumlinda le ntombazana iya kubiza. Kwaye kutheni, kuba wayebonakala ethanda ukuba uyayithanda?
Vumelana, imeko ayiyinto entsha yaye ibonakala ingenangqondo. Kutheni oko kwenzeka ntoni? Kutheni sifuthi sizithobezele ngombuzo: ukuba intombazana yokuqala iqambe iqabane lakhe (ingcebiso yesazi sengqondo kule meko kubonakala ngathi iyimfuneko!)? Kwaye, xa sithethile thina impendulo yalo mbuzo, ngaba siqhubeka silahlekelwa yinto engathandabuzekiyo, sikhathazeke ngesiganeko esifanayo kwaye asiqinisekanga ngezenzo zethu?
Iingcali zengqondo zithi isizathu sokwenza amava kwimeko yokulinda umnxeba ngenxa yokuba silungisa umlingane kwisimo esicatshangelwayo sokucinga kwethu. Emva koko, into yokuba intombazana kufuneka ithathe isinyathelo sokuqala ingumzekelo. Kwakhona kunjalo ukuba isinyathelo sokuqala sifanele sithathwe ngumntu, kunye nokubonakalisa rhoqo iimpawu zokuqwalasela intombi yakhe, ukumnika izipho kwaye, ngokungangabazeki, ukukhumbuza ukuba uyamthanda kangakanani, ngezihlandlo ukuze angabi nasizathu sokungabaza.
Asiyidingi imilinganiselo, eqinisweni, bayabambelela kwingqondo yethu ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ngamnye wethu ukhula ehlabathini ukususela kumanyathelo athile athileyo, iinkqubo zoluntu. Emva kwakho konke, into yokuba indoda ikubiza ngokuthethileyo ayithethi ukuba waqala ukungakuthandi kakhulu, kwaye ngokuphambene - ngaba ucinga ukuba uthando lomntu luxhomekeke ekuhambeni kweefowuni zakhe?
Ukuba oko kuthetha into eninzi kuwe kwaye ufuna ukuba iqabane lakho likubize kuqala - xelela ngalo. Kungcono ukulumkisa malunga neminqweno yakho, ukuthetha ngokuthetheleyo into oyifunayo - kwaye awuyi kuba nexhala.
Emva koko, kungenjalo, kwenzeka ukuba abantu, kunokuba bathandane, bancedise, bachithe ixesha lokukhulula kunye kunye "baphathane" kwiinkxalabo ezijikelezayo, baqale ukucinga malunga nendlela abafanele baziphatha ngayo, oko kufuneke kwenziwe, ukugcina ubudlelwane, indlela yokwenza umntu abize kuqala, indlela yokumnceda umntu ngokuphathelele izifiso zakhe. Kule nto kuvela ukuba amantombazana akhathazeki, kwaye kukho iingcinga ezininzi ezingenangqondo, ezo zihlobo lwakho olujongene nosongelo.
Enyanisweni, akunandaba ukuba ngubani owenza okokuqala, ngubani okwesibini okanye wesithathu, indlela okwenza ngayo kwaye nokuba uhambelana nesimo esichasayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuyinto engancinci - ayinayo, yishiye yonke imvakalelo engadingekile malunga nale nto, kuba ukuba unomlingane uthetha ukuba sele ukhe ukhethe wena kwaye, kunjalo, yintombazana enhle kunaye, mhlawumbi uya kuchitha ixesha kunye ngomnye umntu.
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo ezithintela ukuba siqiniseke ngezenzo zethu. Omnye wabo kukuba ibhinqa kufuneka lihlale lingenakufikeleleka, lihlale litsalane nomlingane wayo, kuba xa iya kuba ngowokuqala ukubonisa nayiphi na imvakalelo kuye, uya kuphelisa umdla. Akunjalo. Iinjongo ezingenakufezwa zingenanto, kwaye inzala kuyo iwa ngokukhawuleza njengoko yenzayo ekujoliswe kuyo ngokukhawuleza. Abafana nabo banomuva wokuba sibonakalise uthando lwabo, ukuze siphendule iimpawu zabo zokubaluleka kwaye sibone ukuba ziphela kunye nezona zilungileyo zontoni zethu.
Ubudlelane kubalulekile iimvakalelo nokunyaniseka, amandla othando lwakho. Yinyanisekile kunye neqabane lakho ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nento ethile, njengabo bobabini - yabelana naye, ngokukhawuleza akusiyo eyakho, kwaye ngaphandle koko, unokuyicombulula le ngxaki ndawonye, kuba unye. Zikhethele oko kukubalulekileyo, nokuba yinto enokuba yinto encinci, kwaye yintoni ekungekho ukuyiqwalasela.
Ukulungiswa kwezinye iinkolelo zabantu, ukhawulela ubomi bakho kuphela. Ukuzibuza, ukuba intombazana yokuqala iqambe iqabane layo, yishiye inqabana "kufuneka" kwaye ucinge: ngaba ndifuna ukumbiza ngoku? Ngaba ndiyayifuna le nto? Ngaba uya kuthanda ngoku, kwaye kuyafaneleka? Ingcebiso yesazi sengqondo, kwindawo yokuqala, isekelwe ngqo kwiimvakalelo zakho.
Ukuba ewe - ungazitshutshisi ngokungathandabuzekiyo, kuba uthando aluyinkqubo yemidlalo, kwaye ayikho ifomula, yenza njengokuba ubona kufanelekile nendlela ozivakalelwa ngayo.