Indlela yokuhlala nomamazala

"Abantu badibana, abantu bathandana, batshata" - njengengoma edumile. Ngoko ebomini bakho kwakukho umcimbi ovuyayo - utshatile! Ngaba kunzima ukukufumana ngokuzonwabisa kunye nomyeni wakho? Ewe, ukuba kukho indlu ehlukeneyo, apho ungaqala khona ukwakha intsapho yakho. Kwaye ukuba akunjalo? Ukuba kufuneka uhambe endlwini yomyeni apho abazali bakhe bahlala khona? Ndingaphila nomamazala?

Uninzi lweentsapho ze-psychotherapists zincoma ukuba zamkele umama wendoda yakhe njengokuba kunjalo, ukufumana iimpawu ezintle kuye nokuzigxininisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukulandela le ngcebiso elula kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla kunzima kakhulu. Ungamshiya njani amahlaya enomsindo kwidilesi yakho ngaphandle kwempendulo?

Ulwalamano oluhle kakhulu nomama-mkhwenkwe luyakwenzeka kuphela, maye, kwaye, ukuba uhlala ngokwahlukileyo. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba kukho indawo eyodwa kuphela yokuhlala kunye nomntu ohlala kuyo? Zonke zakho "amaphupha apinki" malunga nobomi bentsapho ziyakwazi ukuwa ngomzuzwana, ukuba unyoko ufuna ukukwenza.

Indlela efanelekileyo yokugcina ulonwabo lwentsapho kunye nolwalamano oluhle luya kuhamba kwindawo yokuhlala. Olu lukhetho lwezona zibini ezitshatileyo ezihlala phantsi kophahla olufanayo nabazali babo ngeenyanga eziliqela.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho oomama abanomdla abangaphazamisiyo ebomini babantwana, "bangafundi ukuba baphile", musa ukunyuka kunye neengcebiso zabo uze ungene kwigumbi ngaphandle kokonkqoza. Kodwa oku kuyindlela efanelekileyo, thina, siqwalasela imeko xa yonke into ingekho kakuhle.

Kwiinyanga zokuqala zobomi bakho kunye, umamazana wakho uya kukulandela ngokukhawuleza. Uya kuqaphela zonke iimpazamo, ukugqithisa kunye neeposiso. Ukuba awukwazi ukupheka, ungathandi ukuphuma okanye ungayazi indlela yokucoba amaqhosha, lungela ukuba "umama" uya kuqala ukukufundisa.

Umama-mkhwenkwe sele useyakhele uluvo lwakhe ngawe. Inokwenzeka ukuba, ukholelwa ukuba "awuyena umfazi wonyana wakhe othandekayo." Kodwa ekubeni unyana ukhethe lo mtshakazi, kuthetha ukuba uya kuphakanyiswa. Ngokwemvelo, wena, njengomdala, le nto iya kuqala ukucaphukisa. Kusukela ixesha elide ukusuka kudala "intombazana encinci", ongayenza ngayo i-shpynayat, kwaye uphendule kwiimpazamo zakhe.

Ukukhokelwa kuphela ngeenjongo ezilungileyo, uninazala uqala ukugxekisa nokukufundisa, ngokuthe ngcembe uqale ukulawula ubomi bentsapho yakho. Kufanelekile ukuthinjwa "kumama" ukuba: "indlela enenjongo ... uyazi apho." Mhlawumbi ukukhuza okunzima kunokuba kuncitshise umama-mkhwenkwe ixesha elithile.

Musa phantsi naziphi na imeko uvumelane "noMama"! Unentsapho yakho, iimbono zakho, imithetho yakho kwaye unelungelo lokuphila njengoko ubona kufanelekile. "Ukudansa kumbhobho womnye umntu" kukukhetha okubi. Kancinci, ukunganeliseki komntu, ukungakwazi ukuzenzekela kunye neqondo lokucasula kuya kufinyelela umda, kwaye uya kushiya umyeni wakho omthandayo.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba indoda ithathe inxaxheba kulwalamano lwakho noninazala. Yena, njengomntu osondelene nabasetyhini bobabini, kufuneka ahlaziye zonke izitenxo, afumane ukungathinteki kwaye aqonde ukuba intsapho yakho iya kuhlala ngokuhlukileyo, kwaye yenza into ethile kuyo. Ukuba umyeni wakho avumela izinto ukuba zihambe kwaye akafuni ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimbonakalo, yenza izigqibo. Kungenzeka, phambi kokuba ummeli woluhlu "Unyana womama" okanye umntu obuthathaka. Ingaba ukuhlala nomyeni onjalo kufike kuwe.

Isizathu sokuba iintombi-mkhwenkwe nomkhwekazi abakwazi ukuzibandakanya ngokuqhelekileyo kubambisene kwiimbambano ezimbini ezingapheliyo: ukuxabana kwemfuno kunye nokuxabana kwezizukulwana. Kungenzeka ukuba umama-mkhwenkwe wangoku ube ngumyeni womyeni wakhe, apho unina wamhleka khona. Umnqweno wokuziphindezela, ngamanye amaxesha, awuhambi nabantu bonke ubomi babo. Kwaye ngoku uvela endlwini yakhe. Iyiphi indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphalaza i-malice yesikhathi eside kunye nentukuthelo kuwe?

Okwangoku ihluke kakhulu kwixesha apho abazali bethu behlala khona. Azisetyenziswanga kwaye aziqondi indlela umntu angenza ngayo izenzo ezithile, ezo kuthi-izinto zansuku zonke. Imizamo yokwamkela nokuqonda imigaqo yabantu yobomi iqale ukutshabalaliswa. Isizukulwana ngasinye sihlale sisiseko sayo kwaye singakhangeli kwelinye ngeengcebiso zayo.

Ukungqubuzana kwezinto ezinomdla kubangelwa xa umama-mkhwenkwe eqonda ukuba uyeka ukuba yinto ebalulekileyo yonyana wakhe. Ngoku ebomini bakhe kukhona wena, kwaye kungenxa yenu, ngoku uhlawula lonke ixesha lakhe lokukhulula, lonke uthando lwakhe nomsa. Zama ukuchazela umyeni wakho ukuba kufuneka ahlale unyana wunina, umthobele, unomdla kwaye unomdla ebomini bakhe. Mhlawumbi le nyathelo izokukunceda ubuncinci ukugcina ubudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kunye noninazala.

Isizathu esibalulekileyo sokuphila kwintsapho eselula kunye nabazali ngumnqweno wokuthenga indlu yabo. Ewe, ixabiso lezindlu lithe gqwa, kwaye kuthatha ixesha elide ukuqokelela inani elifanelekileyo. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba umyeni wakho unelisekile ngokuhlala kwindawo efanayo kunye nabazali bakhe, kwaye akayi kuthenga okanye ukuqeshisa indlu yakhe, kuyafaneleka ukuba ucinge. Ngaba ulungele iminyaka engama-15 ezayo ukubona umkhwe wakho nsuku zonke.

Naphezu kwazo zonke iingxaki, iingxabano ezinokuvela, ukuba uhlala nomama wakho, kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba uyamthanda umyeni wakho kwaye akukho bunzima, nangona kunjalo, amaqhinga omntu akakwazi ukutshabalalisa intsapho evuya.