Enyanisweni, kwimeko: Ndiyamthanda bobabini abakhethayo, andazi, awukwazi ukulungelelanisa nantoni na kwisikhokelo esisonke. Ngomnye "Ndiyamthanda" kukho izinto ezithile ezifunekayo ukuba ziqwalaselwe ukulungisa ingxaki. Ngoko ke, simele sifanise imeko apho "ukuthandana kwababini" kwavela khona, kwaye ke ukujongana nayo.
Ngoko, kutheni ndingakhethi? Masithi intombazana ithi "andiyazi", kuba le meko ilandelayo iphuhlisiwe. I heroine yethu inenekazi. Akusiyo umbuzo wokukhetha umntu oza kutshata naye kusasa. Unomfana oselula. Lo ngumntu wakhe wokuqala, uthando lomntu oyinyani, onokuliphupha kwaye wahlala efuna. Kuzo, ekuqaleni kokubona, konke kulungile. Kodwa, eneneni, kukho ezininzi "andiyazi" kwaye "andiyiqondi." Le nkosikazi ibona i-minuses yayo kuye, icatshukile kwaye idangele, kodwa iyaqhubeka ikholelwa kwiimvakalelo zakhe nakwikamva labo eliqaqambileyo.
Kwaye kwavela enye insizwa. Impawu zangaphandle kunye neempawu, uhluke ngokupheleleyo kwintombi yakhe. Kwaye, okubaluleke kakhulu, ekuqaleni akazenzeli ukuba enze indawo yakhe. Ungumhlobo omhle, ngokuqinisekileyo ungumzalwana, onokungahambi kakuhle ngokomoya nangengqondo. Nangona kunjalo, xa ixesha lidlulayo, kuvela ukuba iimvakalelo zakhe azikho bonke abazalwana. Uyabona kule nsizwa indoda kwaye iyaqonda ukuba akayithandanga. Yaye, into enomdla, emehlweni akhe kuye kwafundwa kungekhona ukuvakalelwa. Yilapho isiqalo siqala khona. Indlela yokusebenza kunye nobani okumele ube nayo? Emva koko, kubonakala ngathi intombazana iyayithanda zombini, ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo.
Enyanisweni, kuyimfuneko, ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuqonda ukuba intombazana iyakwazi ukwenqaba. Kwaye umntu ufanele alahle. Nangona omnye kumadoda amabini anika ubuhlobo, kwaye uyavuma, lo buhlobo buya kuba nzima kuye nangenxa yakhe. Ngokukodwa ukuba unomntu ongeyodwa kunye neemvakalelo aziyi kudlula ngonyaka, kungekho ezimbini.
Kule meko, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba ubani oyikayo ukulahlekelwa yona nto. Kwaye, okubaluleke kakhulu, oko kubaluleke kakhulu kuye ubuhlobo balo mntu okanye ubukho bakhe ebomini, njengomntu obaluleke ngakumbi. Sekunjalo, umhlobo omhle unokufumaneka, nangona kuya kuba nzima. Kodwa ukuba kuvela ukuba lo mntu wayeyintando yakhe ngokwenene, ngoko, ngokukhawuleza, uya kuqala "ukubetha iingxube zakhe." Yingakho kufuneka uqonde ukuba ngubani owamthandayo. Iimvakalelo zethu ngezinye iinkhathi zidibanisa kwaye zididekile, kodwa ukuba uziphulaphule uze uphendule yonke imibuzo ngokunyanisekileyo, ngoko uyaziqonda. Abanye abafazi bajika kwi-psychologist ukulungisa amava abo kwaye benze ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Ewe, oku kukhetho, kodwa unokuzijonga.
Okokuqala kufuneka uqonde ukuba kutheni ufuna ukuthandana nomfana, kwaye kutheni ukhangeleka okwesibini. Mhlawumbi loo ntombazana ayifuni ukuyeka ukuphupha kwakhe okanye ukwesaba utshintsho olunzulu. Ufuna ukuba abatsha abantu basondele kumzuzu xa ekugqibeleni ugqiba ukwenza ukhetho. Kodwa, umntu akayi kukwazi ukulinda ngonaphakade. Oku kuya kubangela ukuxabana nokungavumelani okuya kuqala ukubangela intlungu. Ngako oko, sidinga ubuncinane ukuba sicinga ukuba isigqibo kufuneka sithathwe apha kwaye ngoku kwaye uphendule ngokwakho, ngubani oza ku funeka akhethe ukuba umbuzo "uba ngumgca." Xa sifakwe kwimimiselo yomda, siphendula kuphela ngokunyanisekileyo nangenyaniso. Ukuze ungabandezeli omnye wabantu abancinci, kuyimfuneko ukuziva le meko uze uphendule ngokwakho, yiyiphi enye imfuneko kwaye iyabiza. Kufana nendoda, kungekhona njengomhlobo.
Kwakhona, nangona intombazana engacingi nangomtshato, kusadingeka ukuba ucinge ukuba ubani ubona ikamva lakhe. Yiyiphi yala madoda afuna ukwakha ubomi kunye nabo. Ngubani oza kumkhathaza kwiminyaka embalwa, kwaye ngubani na ongeke akwazi ukuyikhulula kude kube sekupheleni. Xa ibhinqa liphendula ngokunyanisekileyo le mibuzo, ngokukhawuleza iyaqonda ukuba yintoni ebantwini besikhashana kwaye ngubani ongunaphakade. Ngokuqinisekileyo, yonke into iyahlukileyo ebomini, kwaye ekugqibeleni amantombazana atshintsha, iimbono zabo kunye nezinto eziza kuqala ziguquka. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntu ufanelekile ngokwenene kuzo zonke iiparameter ngamnye kuthi ngamnye uzibeka, ngoko ke ipesenti encinci yento ayithandayo ngokwenene umntu onokukhululekile kwaye ekhululekile ngoku ngoku. Abanye abafazi bayesaba kakhulu ukwenza izicwangciso ngekamva kwaye bacinga ubomi babo kwiminyaka embalwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo zilungile, kodwa ngakwelinye icala, ukuba akunakwenzeka ukwenza isigqibo, kufuneka ukhangele kwixesha elizayo uze ucinge ngobomi bakho kunye nomnye. Emva kokubona ukuba ubani ovela ngokwenene emnyango kwaye emva kweminyaka elishumi, unokwenza okokugqibela.
Ewe, mhlawumbi intombazana, ekugqibeleni, yeka ukuthanda omnye nomnye. Ebomini, kukho into yonke. Kodwa ke, ukuba umntu ucinga malunga nokukhetha phakathi kwabantu abathandekayo kangaka, ngoko ke, okwangoku, le mvakalelo iyinyani kwaye ingxaki kufuneka ixazululwe apha kwaye ngoku. Ngaphandle koko, iya kuba ibhola lebhola, apho abaninzi banokubandezeleka khona.
Sonke, uzama ukwakha ubudlelwane, ngezikhathi ezithile, sibhekene nengxaki yokukhetha. Omnye uyisombulula ngokukhawuleza, umntu uhamba ngokukhawuleza, umntu ulungile, kwaye umntu ulungile. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kufuneka uhlale uzama ukukhuphela okukhethiweyo. Ngako oko, kufuneka uhlale ucinga malunga nento eya kuba yinto enhle kuwe. Kwaye akukhona ngokuzingca. Kalula, xa kuziwa ekuthandeni, akufanele uzame ukwenza wonke umntu azive kakuhle. Ngonxantathu yothando, umntu uya kuhlala egula. Kodwa, ukuba ubona ukuba umntu ulinde kwaye uziphatha kakuhle, kodwa umntu kunomkhwa onokudinga ukuwushiya, ngoko kufuneka uzame ukugxotha ukungathandabuzeki uze wenze oko intliziyo ikuxelela ngokwenene.