Enye yezona zinto ziphambili kunye nezona zinto zibalulekileyo kule meko ziya kuba nomnqweno wokufunda ngesini kunye nokwaneliseka kwiminyaka engaphambili kunokuba siyiyo. Ngokwegama lesini sithetha ukuba zonke iinkqubo zentlalo, ezomzimba, zengqondo kunye nokuqhuba, ngokusekelwe kwinqweno yesondo. Kodwa akusoloko umntu ekulungele ukusebenzisa lesi sipho ngokufanelekileyo, ngoko ngokobulili kufuneka ube yingqondo kunye nentlalo ekhulile.
Ukuziphatha kwethu ngokwesondo kuchaphazelekayo kwizinto eziphilayo, ezentlalo nezengqondo - zinoxanduva lwezizathu eziphambili zengqondo zobudlelwane bokuqala zesondo. Kuyi-biological sifaka, umzekelo, izinga lamahomoni alawula ukuziphatha kwethu, ukuphuhliswa komzimba kunye nempawu eziphambili zesini. Imiba yentlalontle iya kubandakanya indawo yonke yomntu, indawo yakhe yentlalo, intsapho, imigangatho yenkcubeko kunye nenkolo. Iingqondo zengqondo zipheleleyo zengqondo yentsha, ukuqonda kunye neemvakalelo, apho izizathu zengqondo zezobudlelwane zesondo zakuqala zilandela.
Ubuntwaba bubunzima kakhulu ebomini babo bonke abantu. Eli lixesha apho sivula khona thina, senza indlela ukusuka komntwana ukuya kumntu omdala, sifunda le hlabathi kwaye sizitholele kuyo, sibone ukubaluleka kwethu kunye nendima. Abaselula, ngokuqhelekileyo, bahlala bejamelana nokubandlulula, kunye nezikhundla zomntu omdala kunye nomntwana entloko, bafuna indlela efanelekileyo yokuphuma kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, ukufunda ukuhlala. Kukho iingxaki ezahlukeneyo, kubandakanywa ingxaki ngokuzithemba. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ukuzithemba kwabantwana abaselula bayashintsha kwaye banokuzulala ukusuka phezulu ukuya kwezantsi. Iingxaki ngokuzithemba zisinika esinye sezizathu zengqondo zesini sokuqala.
Umntwana osemtsha unokusebenzisa ubulili ngenxa yokuqinisekisa, ngokuba ngale ndlela uza kuba ngumntu ohloniphekileyo phakathi kwabahlobo, okhulile ngakumbi, azibonakalise ukuba ubalulekile, uvule amathuba amatsha. Umntu onokuzihlonela kakhulu uya kukhokelwa yi-permissiveness, kuba umntu onokuzithemba okulula ukulawula, kwaye ngoko ke omnye umntu uya kuthumela umncedisi ukuba aneliseke ngaphandle kobunzima obukhulu. Amaxhoba abo akakwazi ukuthi "hayi", wenqaba isiluleko esingathandekiyo.
Nanku, nesizathu esibalulekileyo ukwesaba okungaziwa, kwaye enye yezindlela ezifanelekileyo zokujongana nayo kukuzama. Xa, ngokomzekelo, ukwesaba i-monster ehlala phantsi kombhede ebuntwaneni bakho, ngokuqinisekileyo uzama ukulwa nawe, kunzima ukulala ubusuku bonke, kodwa ukhangele phantsi kwengubo kwaye ubone ukuba akukho mntu apho kwaye uya kuziva . Ubudlelwane bezocansi banokusebenza njenge-monster, kunye nesisombululo sodwa nje kubonakala ngathi sizame wena kwaye uqinisekise ukuba akukho nto iyingozi kule nto, ukuwela umgca owoyikayo.
Unokuwela umgca kungekhona nje ngenxa yesizathu esinjalo njengoloyiko, kodwa nangenxa yokuba unomdla. Ungakulibali ukuba kwixesha lokuguquka liqala ukuphuhlisa inani elikhulu lamahomoni, ukwandisa umnqweno wesini, umntu uyazi ngobunqunu bakhe kwaye ufuna ukufeza umnqweno wakhe. Ngaphezu koko, umxholo wesini uba ngaphantsi kwaye ufihliwe kwaye uyanda kakhulu, amajelo asinikeza amacatshulwa kwimifanekiso yezesondo, ukukhanga kwimiba efanayo, ukunika iinkqubo ezintsha kunye neziganeko ezintsha.
Kule ndlela kulandela ukulungiswa kwemigaqo yokuziphatha yomntu wonke, iitonon ezintsha kunye nemithetho yokushicilela kwi-psyche ye-adolescence, imxhaphaze, imshukumisele kwiinqunto ezinokuzikhethela kunye nokwenza okulungiselelwe, iindlela zokuziphatha eziqhelekileyo. Inzala kwindawo ejikelezileyo ayikho into engaqhelekanga, ebangela ukuba abantu bathathe isinyathelo esinqumayo.
Izizathu zengqondo zezobudlelwane zesondo zakuqala ziya kubangelwa kunye nezizathu zenyama, oko kukuthi: ukusukela ebusheni, ukukhawuleza kwabantwana abaselula. Ngaphambili, ixesha lokuxhatshazwa koxhatshazo oluzayo liza, ama-hormone amaninzi aveliswa kwaye inzala kulwahlukana ngesini esahlukileyo. Uphuhliso olungalawulekiyo lukhokelela kwisondo sokuqala, ukuvumela ukuzame nokufuna ukwazi. Kule meko, uthando luvame ukubonwa njengothando, iimbumbulu zakhiwe eziza kuvela emva koko zizakugqitywa kwaye zifike ekupheleni, kwaye indawo yazo ixesha elide lihlala lixinzeleleke ngengqondo.
Nangona kwezinye iimeko zokuziphatha ezivuthiweyo, ezentlalo nezengqondo eziselula, imbangela yobudlelwane bokwenyama ingaba yintando, ngoko ke asikwazi ukulawula le nto, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ayinqabile.
Ngenxa yezizathu zengqondo, kunokwenzeka ukuba zibandakanye into yokufundisa. Le nto imfundo engabonakaliyo, engabonakaliyo okanye engekhoyo yezingane zesini. Kwiintsholongwane, kunokuba buhlungu ukuba usebenze njengemvume yokuziphatha ngokwesondo, ukungakhathaleli le ngxaki, kunye nemingcele emininzi, ubunzima, ngaphandle kwesihloko sesini, ingqiqo kwintsapho yakhe njengento engcolileyo kwaye ingavumelekanga ngokubanzi.
Fundisa intombazana kule ndawo kufuneka ilungile. Okokuqala, ukunyaniseka nokuvuleka kubaluleke kakhulu apha. Musa ukuthula, ucofe kwaye uguqulele incoko kwenye isihloko. Kwakungekho mfuneko ukuba uqalise ukuvinjelwa ngamazwi enzululwazi abasebenzisa isondo. Ukugqitywa nokugqitywa kweenkcazo kuya kubaluleka, ulwazi luzininzi kwaye luqondakala. Iingxoxo ngezihloko ezifanayo, ingxoxo yesini kwisimo esikhululekile iya kuba luncedo kakhulu. Ukuze oko kwenzeke, sifuna izinga elizinzileyo lobudlelwane nokuqonda kwintsapho.
Nangona kunjalo, nangona ukuba isizukulwana ngasinye uneminyaka yobudala bokuthintana ngokomzimba kunciphisa, kwaye intombazana ixinzelelwe ngamaqhinga ahlukeneyo, kunye nabahlobo "abaphambili" bafuna ukuba iimeko kunye nemithetho, nendima ebalulekileyo ekugqibeleni iyakudlala ukukhuliswa nokuthula kwangaphakathi komntu. Ukuba umntwana osemva unengxaki yengqondo kwaye uya kufumana isisombululo kwezobudlelwane bezesondo, oku kuya kunciphisa ingxaki yangaphakathi. Xa intombazana engenazo iingxaki ezinzulu kunye nokuphikisana, uhlala ngokuvisisana naye, ubuhlobo obusondelene naye abuyi kuhamba ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ngexesha elifanelekileyo.