Ngoko, ucinga ukuba ubuhlobo buphakathi komfana nentombazana? Akukho mntu unokungabaza ukuba kukho ubuhlobo bobulili obufanayo. Sonke sinamantombazana, onokuziphosa ngazo ngekomityi yekhofi kwindawo yokutya epholileyo eduze kwendlu. Unokungena kuyo ukuyothenga uze uxubushe kwi-akhawunti yeempendulo eziza kuvuya ngokusisindisa kunye nokuncedisa ingxaki. Kwakhona sabona ubuhlobo besilisa ngaphezu kwesinye. Konke oku kungathandabuzekiyo okanye nantoni na. Kodwa njani ukuba nobuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nentombazana?
Inokwenzeka ukuba, ngaphandle kovelwano, nokuba ngumhlobo akunakwenzeka. Emva koko, abantu bayaziqonda ngandlela-thile, kwaye i-psychology yamadoda yinto yokuba akunakwenzeka ukuthetha nabantombazana abancinci. Kodwa ekuqaleni kokuthandana, awukwazi ukuthetha malunga nabani na ubungane - kungokuqala kokubheka, inomdla kwaye nokuvavanya, igama eliqala elinokubhenela kakhulu kumnxibelelwano wakho. Leli nqanaba lokuqala lolwalamano, apho kukho iindlela ezintathu zokuphuma: mhlawumbi zihlakulela ekubeni ubudlelwane bokuthandana, okanye ubuhlobo, okanye zihlale kwinqanaba lokwaziyo-ke akukho nanye kuni ofuna ukuqhubeka nokuthetha kwikamva. Kule nto akukho nto igwetywayo okanye engaqhelekanga-sonke sikhetha abantu abasemgangathweni.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kuthiwa ubuhlobo kunye nomfana akunakwenzeka, kuba abafana, njengokuba uyazi, "bafuna enye kuphela." Nangona le nkcazo igxininiswa kakhulu. Kulula ukuthetha ngovelwano - yaye kuya kuba yinyaniso enyanisekileyo, kodwa ngeendleko zokutsalwa kwezesondo - apha unokwazi. Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono ukuthetha nomntu kunokuba ulungiselele iintlanganiso ezincinci. Le ngqiqo iza kwizinga elithile lenkcazo, kwaye ikhula ngakumbi kwiibongo zethu ngegama ngalinye elitsha elithethwa ngumhlobo ozayo. Kwaye ke kuza enye ingqiqo yokuba ndiza kuthetha kangcono nalo mfana bonke ubomi bam, kunokuba siza kudlulisela ubudlelwane bethu ekuphumleni kokulala kwaye kungekudala sizahlula. Kutheni inxaxheba? Kulula kakhulu: ngokuqhelekileyo umntu oba ngumhlobo wakho unempawu ezininzi ezintle, kodwa ngelo xesha, awuzibonakali kwindoda yentombazana yakhe, kuba kwesi sicwangciso awuvumelani ngokupheleleyo naye. Ulwalamano olunjalo luya kuphela ngexesha elifutshane. Kodwa ulwalamano oluhle lingaba luhlobo lobuhlobo.
Ngoko ukutsho ukuba omnye wabahlobo bobulili obuchaseneyo ufuna into engaphezulu nje kokuthetha nje, ayiqondi. Emva koko, indoda ayisona yindoda - ayikwazi ukukhangwa ngokwesini kuyo yonke intombazana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungumhlobo kuye, okanye unokuyenza njengentombazana. Ngokufanayo, ibhinqa: ukuba ingumntu onovelwano lomntu, ngoko banokwenza abahlobo bokwenene. Emva koko, ukuba unqwenela lo mfana mkhulu, akakwazi ukuthetha ngokukhululekile naye, wabelane ngemfihlelo kwaye acele iingcebiso. Inzondelelo yomntu evela kubahlobo abayinyaniso ifundwa kwiso, kodwa kufuneka ukhangele amehlo akho rhoqo.
Abahlobo bokwenene abanakuze babe nomona omnye komnye kwisiqingatha sabo, kuba umona phakathi kwabahlobo awunakwenzeka. Abafuni ukuba yedwa ekupheleni komnye nomnye, banelisekile ngendawo yomhlobo ohloniphekileyo ongabandakanyi ukubakho kwesiqingatha esithandekayo. Ngaphezu koko, abahlobo banomdla wokwenza abahlobo kunye nabakhethiweyo babo, ukuze bangalahlekelwa ithuba lokubona nokuthetha rhoqo.
Ubuhlobo obunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo, bubangela umona onzima kwiihafu zakho - ingakumbi ukuba abanalo abahlobo babo bobulili obuhlukile, kwaye abanakholwa ekubeni nobuhlobo obunjalo. Kufuneka ulungele oku, kuba awukwazi ukusinda ebusweni. Kodwa abahlobo bokwenene baya kuhlala bekwazi ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kwimeko, baya kuzama ukuzisa abahlobo nabathandekayo baze babe nobuhlobo obuqinileyo phakathi kwabo.
Ubungane phakathi kwendoda kunye nentombazana eyenzekayo, kwaye ugcwele ixesha elimnandi, elisoloko lingenzeka kwiimeko zobuhlobo bobulili obufanayo. Emva kwakho konke, zigwebe ngokwakho: awusoze uphikisana nomhlobo ngenxa yomfana odla ngokuhlala kunye namantombazana. Yena, ke, akayi ku-zarevnuet ukukuzisa kwintombi yakhe. Ukongezelela, umhlobo uya kuhlala ehlangula, ingakumbi ukuba ufuna isandla somntu onamandla, kwaye akuyi kuba nabani na osondelayo abanokwazi ukuncedisa.
Umhlobo wesibini unokukunceda xa udidekile ebubudlelwaneni nomfana. Uya kuhlolisisa le meko kunye naye, ukusuka kwimbono yendoda, kwaye akunike uncedo oluyimfuneko kwaye olusebenzayo. Nguye kuphela, mantombazana, sikholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba siyazi i-psychology yesintu kwaye ngezinye izikhathi yonke into iyajika iyahluke kwizinto esizicingayo. Ngako oko, kwiimeko ezinjalo, akukho nto ibaluleke ngaphezu kokujonga ngokulinganayo kwindoda evela ngaphandle.
Ubuhlobo ngegama alukwazi ukuba nemida ngokweminyaka yobudala okanye ngesondo. Abahlobo babangelwa kukufanelana kweminqweno kunye noxolo lwangaphakathi, ngoko kutheni abanye abantu bephika ukuba ukufana okunjalo kufumaneka kumfana onentombi? Kutheni ulwalamano lobuhlobo bobulili banelungelo lokuba khona, kwaye ubuhlobo bobulili obufanayo abukho? Mhlawumbi kubuwula ukukhanyela oko kukho, nangona zonke iimbono zinelungelo lokuba.
Ndifuna ukukholelwa ukuba ngamnye wethu uza kuba nabahlobo bokwenene ebomini bethu, kwaye kuyafana nokuba ngaba bantombazana okanye abafana. Into ephambili kukuba uzive uncedo lwabahlobo kwaye uyazi ukuba unako ukuhlala uthembela kubo.