Kodwa le meko ingenangqiqo. Kungenzeka ukuba le ntokazi ayengazi malunga nokuba umnenekazi unomfazi osemthethweni. Wayekholelwa ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye wakha izicwangciso zekamva eliqaqambileyo losapho. Yaye indoda ekhethiweyo yintombi, musa ukukhawuleza ukwenza isipho. Xa inyaniso iqhubekile (kwaye inyaniso ihlala ikhupha-ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva), ngoko umfazi uvakalelwa kukuba unomsindo obunzulu kunye nokungcatsha. Ngoko umntu ulungiselelwe - akukho mntu uthanda inkohliso.
Umfazi ohlakaniphile ocinga ngekamva lakhe uyaqonda ukuba ulwalamano olunjalo nomntu otshatileyo luya kupheliswa kamva okanye kamva. Hayi, ewe, mhlawumbi naye wawa thandana, waqhawula kwaye uya kuthatha intombi yentliziyo ibe ngamakhosikazi asemthethweni. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo umntu akafuni ngokwenene ukuphula isingqisho esele sisisiseko kwaye sikhululekile. Ngoko ke, kuya kuba ngcono ukuba umfazi ayeke ulwalamano lwakhe nendoda esatshatileyo. Akuyena wonke umfazi, nangengqondo engavamile, uya kuthatha isigqibo sokuba ahlule kunye nomntu amthandayo. Enyanisweni, yinike yona enye, evumelekileyo. Kodwa abantu azinjalo izinto kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo abayiyo impahla yomntu. Ngoko ke, igama elithi "nikela" kulo mzekelo alikho konke okufanelekileyo.
Singawaphula njani lo dlelwane? Kunzima, okwenene, ukuqeda ubudlelwane nomntu otshatileyo. Emva koko, eqinisweni, umfazi uyaxhomekeka kuye, kwiintlanganiso kunye nokulindela. Ukongezelela, ubuhlobo obunjalo buyingqungquthela ekhethekileyo yeemvakalelo, kuba nawaphi na ixesha unokufunda malunga nento yonke evela kumfazi wakho kwaye awukwazi ukuphepha ukucaciswa kwesiqhamo sobudlelwane. Omnye unokuthanda lo bomi, ezele i-adrenaline, kodwa ke abaninzi besifazane bafuna uxolo kunye noxolo lwentsapho.
Ukuqinisekisa ukuba ulwalamano olunjalo nomntu otshatileyo luphela, kufuneka ulinganise zonke iinkqubo kunye neengxaki. Sekunjalo, kukho enye intsapho, kwaye le ndoda yenza, ubuncinane, ayikho kakuhle. Ibhinqa kufuneka icinge malunga nokuba uya kwenza ntoni emva kwayo emva koko? Emva koko, ukuba indoda esitshatileyo ingaboni nto ephosakeleyo ekuhlangabezaneni nomntu ngapha nangapha, mhlawumbi, akayi kubona nantoni na into engafanelekanga yintoni ekutshintshile emva kwayo kunye nayo.
Ibhinqa limele lijonge ngakumbi, kodwa lilungile? Ungumqambimanga, nokuba uyenzela umntu. Akafani ngokunyaniseka kwiminqweno yentsapho, akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuba ngumyeni omhle. Ibhinqa elidibana nomntu wololu hlobo kufuneka liqaphele oko lenzayo kwaye liqonde ukuba liyonakalisa intsapho yomnye kwaye ikhuthaze inkohliso kunye nokungathembeki.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umfana wakho akasatshatanga, ucinga ngakumbi ukuba ungumqambimanga phambi kwakho kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba utshintshe ubomi bakhe. Ubudlelwane nabantu abatshatileyo abayi kukukhokelela ebomini obuqhelekileyo kwintsapho kunye nabantwana. Nabani na umntu oye wabeka unyawo kwindlela yokukhohliswa, mhlawumbi uya kukhohlisa ngaphezulu nangaphezulu.
Enyanisweni, kukho imeko xa kukho uthando oluqinileyo olunokubangela umtshato onoyolo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ezi ziimeko aziqabile kwaye kungcono ukuvumela umntu okhethiweyo ukuba ahlukaniswe (oko kukuthi, ukulungele ngokupheleleyo utshintsho kunye nokuvula ubudlelwane obutsha) kunokuba utshatile uya kukuxelela njalo ukuba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato.
Ubudlelwane nomntu oboshwe ngumtshato sisihloko esingapheliyo. Kunokwenzeka ukuyeka ulwalamano olunjalo, kufuneka nje ufune ukuqonda into elula: lowo waqala ukukhohlisa uya kuqhubeka ukwenza oku ngakumbi. Kwaye ke, mhlawumbi uya kuba sele uhlala kwindawo yowesifazane okhohlisiweyo.