Abantu abaninzi banokwazi ukuphikisana nokubonisa ukuba phakathi kwabo kukho ubungane kuphela kwaye bakholelwa ekubeni khona. Yaye ukuba ukuthanda omnye komnye kwenzeka kuphela kuba, ngaphandle kwesihawu, akukho nto idibanisa nabo. Njengoko sonke siyazi, thina bafazi beswele amandla kwaye sinyanzele size sihlale sifuna inkxaso kunye nenkxaso yegxala eliqinileyo. Singaba njani ngumhlobo womntu, ukuba umgaqo obalulekileyo wobuhlobo uyinkxaso, sinokumxhasa njani umntu esingazi kakuhle uyise wentsapho kunye nomkhuseli?
Kwakhona, indoda ayikwazi ukuba ngumhlobo womfazi, kuba kunjani na ukuba ibone umfazi kuye, uvavanye idatha yakhe yangaphandle, uzive eve. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ibhinqa kumntu yinto yesondo. Kwaye ukuba umfazi unedatha efanelekileyo yangaphandle, izilwanyana zezilwanyana zivela kwindoda kwaye ibhinqa liba lixhoba. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba wayezama ukunyanzela njani iimvakalelo kuye kwaye azibonakalise ukuba kwakukho ubuhlobo phakathi kwabo, kungekudala yonke into yayizahluke ngokupheleleyo.
Masithi ube ngumhlobo nomntu. Ulwalamano lwakho lobuhlobo alunanto. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa iingcebiso ziqala, kwaye uqala ukuxhalabisana omnye nomnye, ufumanisa ebhedeni elifanayo naye. Ngokuqhelekileyo kunokwenzeka ngexesha apho ungekho bobabini. Ngokuqhelekileyo uyakha xa yonke into embi kuye kwaye ngexesha elifanayo unengxaki kuye, wahlukana nomfazi wakhe othandekayo. Kulo mzuzwana baqondana njengabanye. Baqala ukuxelela indlela ababi ngayo entliziyweni nasemphefumlweni. Emva kokuba bathathe isigqibo sokuya kwibha kwaye batye kunye, ukuze kube lula kwiingqondo zabo. Emva koko, emva kwereyile, indoda, ngokuqinisekileyo, njengomhlobo uceba ukuchitha intombi yakhe, apho loo mbhikisho ingenayo. Emva koko, xa le ndoda ikuthabatha ukuya emnyango, uyamgijimela ngezinyembezi ezandleni zakho uze uthi indlela ongazifuni ukuba yedwa namhlanje. Indoda ekholelwa ukuba ungumhlobo nje uyavuma ukuba nekhofu kunye nawe kwaye ikuxhase kumzuzu onzima. Usela ikofi kunye kunye nokulala. Ininzi idla ngokubhekisele kumbhede omnye, kuba ucinga ukuba phakathi kwakho akukho nto ngaphandle kobuhlobo. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa uvakalelwa ukuthinteka kwesandla sakhe, ngeli thuba sele usuqalile ubuhlobo bonke kwaye udle isiqhamo esinqatshelwe. Yonke into yokuphuhliswa kobuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi.
Ngesinye isikhathi, omnye wenu, kubonakala ngathi emva koko, ubuhlobo bakho buya kuba namandla. Kodwa kwenzeka ukuba ubuhlobo obuba yintando bunokuqhubeka, kwaye kuya kwenzeka ngokungafaniyo. Ebudlelwaneni obusondeleyo, siqala ukuphawula kumntu into engakaze yaphawulwa ngaphambili kwaye ubuhlobo kule nto buphelile.
Ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi yindlela engavumelekanga yobudlelwane. Kwaye kubakho ubuhlobo obunjalo ixesha elide kuphela xa bethandana. Okanye zikhona izithintelo ezingenakunqandeka ezibathintelayo ukuba babe ngabathandi. Kwakhona kukho ulwalamano phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi, xa elinye iqela linomdla onamandla kwiqabane okanye iqabane, kodwa liyabona ukuba esinye isiqingatha asihambisani.
Ukususela ebuhlotsheni kumbhede, phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi kuphela. Ekuqaleni, ubudlelwane obunobungane bubonakala bungenasici ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kungalindelekanga kwelinye lamalingani, olu dlelwane luba yindawo yokuthanda. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba sithande umntu ongekho nje ngabahlobo okanye intombi, kodwa ngenxa yokwesaba ukutshatyalaliswa, siyavuma imiqathango yobungani. Ukuze sifike ngokusondeleyo kwisiqingatha sethu sesibini kwaye soloko sisondele. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza okanye emva koko olu dlelwane luyabonakala kwaye luya kuthandana okanye lube lukhefu oluqhelekileyo. Ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi akunakwenzeka nje ukuba, le yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ibonakaliswe ngamava obomi.
Sithemba ukuba siphendule umbuzo wakho, ngaba kukho ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda okanye ibhinqa? Yaye ningakholwa xa bethetha ukuba ngabahlobo ababini kuphela badibene nezo zesini ezahlukeneyo. Ngaphantsi kobudlelwane babo, into efihliweyo, into endiyazi ngayo.