Okokuqala, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba umntu wakho owayengumfana uhlala ecinga ngawe, imini nobusuku, yonke imizuzu kunye neyesibini ebomini bakhe, zonke iingcamango zakhe zihlala kuphela kuwe, zikhumbule zangaphambili, indlela odibene ngayo yokuqala maxesha. Kwaye kutheni ekhusela ukuhlangana nawe, uyazibuza? Ngenxa yokuba uxakekile, unako ukwenza okuninzi, kuba ufumana imali yentsapho yakho evuyokileyo kwikamva. Kutheni enqwenela ukuthetha nawe kwifowuni? Ewe, kuba ungowomzuzu onzima kakhulu. Okwangoku uyasindisa ihlabathi, ezama ukuphazamisa ibhomu, ukusindisa uluntu kwi-explosion atomic. Kutheni na ke uphendula zonke iileta zakho kwii-monosyllables kwaye zincinci kakhulu? Ewe, kuba akafuni ukubhala iincwadi ezide malunga nantoni na. Uyindoda yesenzo. Ngelo xesha udibana naye, ngoko uya kukuxelela yonke into acinga ngayo, ngemibala enomnene neyothando uya kukuxelela malunga nendlela ahlupheka ngayo ngeli xesha ngaphandle kwakho. Ngoko, le ngxenye yokuqala yeengcebiso ezimbi: kukude kangakanani ukugcina umvakalelo wokuthandana.
Kutheni umfana wakho owayengumfana wenza konke akufunayo? Ngenxa yokuba ukhululekile, akayikho ikhoboka lakho. Qinisekisa zonke izenzo zakhe. Ungumntu kwaye unelungelo lokujonga abanye abafazi, banxiliswe ngotywala, balwe, bahambe ngeengubo ezingcolileyo, badumke emsebenzini, bangazalisekisi izithembiso. Ngoko yintoni? Ungumntu! Unako ukwenza nantoni na. Izenzo zakhe azichaphazeli ubuhlobo bakho.
Enye inqaku esuka kwinqanaba leengcebiso ezilimazayo: njani ukugcina uthando luthando olude lufana nale. Naluphina uhlobo lokuthandwa kwakhe lubonwa njengethuba lokuqalisa ubudlelwane obutsha. Naliphi na umzuzu omhle ekuziphatheni kwakhe kunokuthathwa njengesenzo sokuthabatha. Umzekelo, ukuba umfana wakho owayengumfana akafuni ngokupheleleyo ukuthetha naye. Ukuba unokukubiza, mema kwi-cinema, okanye uhambe ukuyothengisa, ukuba uya kuza kukutyelela wena, uyazi ukuba, uthathe njengotyikityo oluhle. Kuthetha ukuba kungekudala yonke into iya kutshintsha ngobudlelwane bakho ukuba ibe bhetele, uya kuba kunye kwakhona, uya kukuthwala ezandleni zakhe, akunike iintyatyambo, uthethe ububele kwaye ube yinto enjalo kuwe.
Olunye icebiso eliyingozi: indlela yokugcina uthando lude. Musa ukuzama ukuhlalutya ubuhlobo bakho. Musa ukucinga malunga nokuba kwakungakanani ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho kwaye bakuphi na ngoku. Akukho imfuneko ukuba ukhumbule ukuba yonke into yayinandi kwaye imnandi ekuqaleni, xa ikunika iintyatyambo, igqoke ezandleni zayo, kwaye ucinge ukuba ngoku sele esicula iinyawo zakhe kuwe, ngezinye izikhathi uya kuza kukwanelisa izidingo zakhe zesondo . Hayi, hayi, kwaye akukho kwakhona. Musa ukucinga ngayo!
Esinye isibini seengcebiso ezinobungozi: njani ukugcina uvakalelo luthando ixesha elide. Ungaze uzame ukufumanisa kubahlobo bakho kunye nabaqhelana nabo, njengesiqhelo isiselula sakho esasifumana nentombazana okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, indlela abonisa ngayo umdla wakhe. Yaye uyabakhathalela njani amantombazana, nokuba uyayinika ientyatyambo, nokuba uyakhokelela kwindawo yokutyela. Ungalindeli umzuzu apho uya kukuxelela ngokusebenzisa omaziyo ukuba yonke into iphelile kwaye awusayi kuphinda ubonakale ebomini bakhe. Kutheni ufuna yonke le nto? Yazi ukuba ukufezekisa uthando nomdla wolutsha, umele ukuba aqhubeke, umlinde emnyango, ugcwalise ngeesms, iifowuni kunye nezipho. Ngaphandle koko, ukuba ushiya zonke iinzame zakho zokubuyisa iimvakalelo zakhe kunye nesimo sengqondo sakho, uya kuphinda uhlaselwe yimvakalelo yentlungu, iinyembezi ziza kuvela emehlweni akho, uza kuphinda udibanise. Kutheni? Kungcono ukuba usebenze kwaye ufumane indoda! Ngaphandle koko, uya kuhlala wedwa kunye nentlungu yakho kunye neemvakalelo. Hayi, ayikho. Akunjalo kuwe, kungcono ukuchitha amandla akho ekufumaneni indoda. Makhe abe mbi, engasityebi, akakuthandi, kodwa emva kwakho uya kuba ngumntu! Ngoko, siqhubeka sihlolisisa uluhlu lweengcebiso eziyingozi: kukude kangakanani ukugcina umvakalelo wothando. Inyaniso kukuba ukuxhomekeke kwiintsebenziswano kunye namadoda, abaninzi abanokholo kwengqondo bacinga ngokukhawuleza ukuxhomekeka kweziyobisi. Xa ubudlelwane obathandekayo kuwe buphela, xa umthandayo ephosa, kubonakala ngathi ukwenqaba iziyobisi. Unesifo esibi kakhulu, iimpawu eziphambili zezi: iinyembezi, ukuxinezeleka, xa zonke iingcinga zakho zihlala zihlala kuzo. Kodwa, yima. Ngaba ufuna ukulahla le ntlungu, ebomini egameni lokuziphindezela kwiqabane lakho langaphambili? Hayi? Okunene, kungcono ukunweba uvuyo lokwahlukana kuze kube sekupheleni, udakwa ngokukrakra kokuhlukana kunye nentlungu ngenxa yentukuthelo. Ngoko ke, xa ucinga ngakumbi ngomntu wakho wangaphambili, amaxesha amnandi owachitha kunye kunye, indlela oziva ngayo, ngeemvakalelo, loo mvakalelo yothando ayinakukushiya. Ngoko, qhubeka ucinga ngayo yonke imihla. Gcina ezi ngcamango phakathi kwentloko yakho. Ukuba ulandela zonke iingcebiso, uya kukwazi ukuziva ungonwabi kakhulu ixesha elide, ukhathazeke ngothando olungagqibekanga, luya kulahlwa. Ngoko, isiluleko esinobungozi: indlela yokugcina uvakalelo luthando olude luyakunceda!
Ukuba umntu wakho owayengumfana engacingi, ke qhubeka ugcina ubudlelwane naye, uxhumane kwi-ICQ, ngefowuni, ngeposi, nokuba yintoni, ukuthetha. Ufuna nje ukuva ilizwi elimnandi nelithandayo, funda umyalezo obhaliweyo awubhalayo. Ukongezelela, unokuzibandakanya nethemba elizayo elizayo, okanye uya kucinga ekhanda lakho ibali ekufuneka ahambe ngokukhawuleza kwihambo elide, kwaye awunalo ithuba lokuzibona. Musa ukucinga ngokususa oonxibelelwano bakhe! Shiya yonke into: kunye nenombolo yefowuni inombolo ye-ICQ, inombolo ye-Skype, gcina iphepha lakhe kubantwana ofunda nabo kunye noqhagamshelwano nabakhethiweyo, ngoko uhlale unethuba lokukhangela isithombe somthandayo. Yile ndlela yokuziphatha engayi kuvumela uthando lwakho kudlule.
Xa uxoxisana nomntu osemdala, yenza njengento engenzekiyo. Buza icebiso lakhe, mxelele onke amava akho, iingcamango, amava. Ukuba ngokukhawuleza umqhubi omtsha ngentliziyo yakho uvela kwindawo yakho, qiniseka ukuba utshele umntu osemdala. Buza uluvo lwakhe, icebo, mvumele akuncede ukhethe iingubo. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuhlala uxinzelelo kunye nokudandatheka, awukwazi ukwenza ubuhlobo obutsha. Kwaye kutheni ufuna? Phila phambili!
Ukuba umntu wakho owayengumfana akayikukhumbula ukuhlangana nawe, qiniseka ukusebenzisa le nto. Ukudibana naye rhoqo ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukuba uyazi indawo apho ehlala khona, qiniseka ukuba ukhona. Yiza ngeendlela ezininzi zokudibana naye. Oku kuya kukunceda uhlale uvakalelwa ngothando lwakho kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Musa ukuwahoxisa ukunikezelwa kwesondo ngesahlulo sakhe. Kutheni na? Oku kuya kukuvumela ukuba ukhumbule isini esithandanayo nesithandana. Musa ukucinga ukuba usebenzisa nje. Jabulela! Yiba ngumlingani wakhe wesini. Emva koko, ungumntu, ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka ahlangabezane neminqweno yabo yesondo, ngoko uncede kulo. Inyaniso efuna ukuba uya kukunika ithemba ngekamva eliqaqambileyo nelinamandla kwixesha lamano.
Uhlala umkhangela ukuba adibana, angalindelekanga okanye ahleliweyo. Udibene na? Ewe, uthando lwakho lusekho kwakhona ngenxa yobukho bakhe. Yiloo nto oyifunayo. Xoxa nabahlobo bakho abaqhelekileyo, kunye nabahlobo bakhe, nangona ungazithandi, kuya kukunika ithuba lokusondela kuye. Nangona ungahlangani ngethuba kwinkampani, kodwa uya kufunda iindaba ngaye, malunga noko kwenzekayo ebomini bakhe, ukufumanisa ukuba unomdla olutsha, ufunde ngeenhlanhla zakhe emsebenzini. Kwixesha elizayo, ungayisebenzisa ukuze wakhe ubuhlobo bakho. Cinga rhoqo malunga nendlela ohlala ngayo kunye. Buyisela imemori yakho, uvule iintsuku zakho ezilungileyo, iintlanganiso. Cinga ngako rhoqo, ulale kwaye uvuke ngeengcinga malunga nalo. Faka ifoto yakhe ecaleni kombhede ukuze xa ulala, ubone ubuso bakhe, kwaye xa uvuka, into yokuqala owubonayo yayibusweni bakhe. Qiniseka ukuba uyasindisa zonke izipho zakhe, kwakunye neendwangu ezintle, oza kuwukhumbuza ngaye, malunga nobuhlobo bakho. Yenza iminyuziyamu yegama lakhe egumbini lakhe. Hlela zonke izinto ezincinci, iifoto zakho, izipho zakhe kwieshelufu kwaye zijonge rhoqo. Yenza oko ukuze iinkumbulo zakhe zihlale zihleli nawe.
Yiba kwindawo ohlala kuyo ukuze udibanise nemimoya yeememori, ukukhala ngendlela oye waphila ngayo, uphinda uzilimaze. Hlalani nilinda umnxeba wakhe, xhafisa ifowuni kunye neposi. Hlola ifowuni yonke imizuzu emi-2. Ewe, kukho ummangaliso ebomini. Yaye ngokukhawuleza uya kubiza, kuba ufuna uncedo okanye akanakho umntu olala naye. Yiza endlwini yakhe ukuze ukhangele ngasese kwiifestile zakhe, khumbule uze ucinge ngezinto akwenzayo ngoku, nokuba uyazicingela ngawe. Fumana inqaku elikhethekileyo-idayari apho ubhala khona ixesha elipheleleyo lobudlelwane bakho, izipho zakhe, imikhwa yakhe, into ayithandayo kwaye ayithandiyo, bhala yonke into akuxelele yona. Oku kuya kunika umva wokuthandana ixesha elide kunokwenzeka. Thetha njengoko wathethayo, phinda emva kwakhe, ukuba unayo "amagama" akhethekileyo okanye "amazwi", qiniseka ukuba uyakhumbula kwaye uhlale uthetha. Ukuphila kwakhe kwiminqweno. Ukuba wayethanda ukuloba, ube ngu-fishery oyinqaba, kulungile ukuba uziva ugule iintlanzi kwaye uyayithiya inyoyi, kodwa u-ex wakho wayekuthanda kakhulu ukuhlala iiyure ezingabonakaliyo kunye nobudenge ngokubonakalayo emanzini.
Musa ukuzonwabisa, musa ukuya kwiintlanganiso kunye namanye amadoda, kodwa kuthiwani xa umntu ethanda wena? Kungcono uzivale ekhaya uze uphile ngokukhawuleza ekuhluphekeni kwakho. Yabelana ngeengcamango zakhe, ukholelwa ukuba i-pinki yinto enyanyekayo? Ngoko gaya igumbi lakho kumnyama omthandayo, ungagqoki izinto zepinki, ngoko ke, ukuba ziza kuwe. Ukuhlalutya rhoqo ubudlelwane bakho, uzitshitshise, uziqhube ngokubanzi. Unako ukuqhubeka ngonaphakade, kwaye wena ngokwakho uyazi zonke iingcebiso ezimbi: kukude kangakanani ukugcina umvakalelo wothando. Ukuba ufuna ukuhlawuleza ngokukhawuleza ulwalamano oludlulileyo kwaye uqalise ezintsha, wenze konke okuchaseneyo. Jabule!