Mhlawumbi, wonke umntu sele esazi ukuba zonke iingxaki zethu zivela ebuntwaneni. Kodwa bambalwa abazi ukuba kutheni kwaye ngethuba lini na le mizuzu enzima ihlehliswa kwengqondo yomntwana. Okwangoku, kubaluleke kakhulu ukujongana nale ngxaki ukuze ungenzi iingxaki kwikamva lomntwana wakho.
Kwaye, kwimeko engamashumi asibhozo ngaphandle kwekhulu, konke oku kwenziwa ngaphandle kweenjongo ezilungileyo, ngaphandle komnqweno wokwenza konke njengoko kuyimfuneko nokufundisa umntu "onelungelo". Enye yeendlela zokulungisa iingxaki ezininzi kwi-psyche yengane kukusebenzisa umona wecala.
Isiphakamiso esingaziqondi
Ukungazi kakuhle umntwana ngengqondo yecala, abazali basebenzisa amagama anjalo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla: "Andiyidingi loo nkwenkwe embi (" intombazana) "," Ndiyakwenza konke, kwaye wena ... "," Amehlo ami akakuboni "," ngokuba wena yedwa iingxaki "," Undityhalela njani "kunye nezinto ezinjalo.
Kucingelwa ukuba umntwana, ekuva ezi ngcikivo, uya kuziva enetyala ngenxa yokungangqinisisi ukulindela kwabazali okanye ukwenza into engalunganga kwaye uya kuba nomnqweno wokuphucula, abe "yinkwenkwe enhle" okanye intombazana. Kubonakala ngathi, yintoni ephosakeleyo na? Into embi kukuba ngolu hlobo "ukungahlali" luya kuphunyezwa.
Umntwana uqala ukuzibona njengengothintelo ebomini kubazali bakhe, njengendleko yabo yangunaphakade, kuba bamnika ubomi, banakekele kwaye banakekele. Kwaye njengokuba unetyala unyanzelekile ukuba "ahlawule iindleko", kuba oko abazali bakhe bafuna ukuba abe. Akufuneki ukuthetha, amatyala anjenge "isipho sobomi" akakwazi ukuhlawulwa, kwaye adlale kule nto engenakulinganiswayo kwimiba yomntwana inokuphela.
Ubuqhetseba obuncinane
Ngaphambi kokusebenzisa le ndlela, cinga:
Olu hlobo lwenkohliso yengqondo. Ngaloo ndlela, ubeka uxanduva lweengxaki zakho kumagxa abantwana. Unjengekuthi kuye kuye: "Uzalelwa apha, kwaye ngoko nangoko ndandiba neengxaki ezininzi." Kwaye apha "Ndidiniwe, andikudingi, ndidiniwe, andingazi ukuba ungekho okubi, njl.".
Kodwa emva kokuba wonke umntwana kwisigqibo sombuzo ekuzalweni akazange amkele nayiphi na inxaxheba. Ukufumana i-posterity - bekuyiyo yonke into oyikhethayo kwaye uxanduva lwale nyathelo luhlala ngokupheleleyo nawe.
Ngoko ungalindeli ukubulela umthwalo owenziwe wona kwaye ubulele ngokuza kubantwana onakho, kwaye kungekhona umfanekiso ocingileyo owenziwe ngqondweni wakho.
Enye ingozi yesi simo sengqondo kukuba umntwana, ngenxa yokungavuthwa kwengqondo, unokufikelela kwisigqibo sokuba kuya kuba ngcono ukuba kwakungekho.
Emva koko umama ube nexesha lokubukela iTV, ufunde incwadi, uphumule kakuhle. Isisombululo kuphela kule meko ukuzibulala, kodwa akunakwenzeka umntwana.
Ngoko ke, uqala ukuphumeza inkqubo yokuzibhubhisa ngezifo eziqhelekileyo, izigulane, nangemva kokukhula-iindlela ezinjalo zokuzibhubhisa njengobungozi beziyobisi okanye utywala. Emva koko, umntwana uqonda ukubaluleka kobomi bakhe kwimeko yokuba kuyimithombo yolonwabo nolonwabo kwabanye.
kwaye, ekugqibeleni, ukufakela okunjalo kungavalwa indoda encinci zonke iindlela zokuzifeza. Uzama ukubuyisela "ityala" kubazali bakhe, kuzo zonke iinkalo kwiminqweno kunye neemfuno zabo. Kodwa iimbono zabazali malunga namakhono kunye namathuba abantwana azinakuhambelana ngokupheleleyo neenyaniso zangempela.
UKarl Gustov Jung wabhala wathi: "Abantwana bajonge ukufezekisa oko abazali babo abangazange bafezekise, baphoqelelwe ziinqweno abazali abakwazi ukuziqonda. Ezi ndlela zenza izilo zokufundisa. "
Kwaye umntwana, ethatha ukhetho lwabazali, ngokugqithisileyo yimeko ephazamisayo. Ububomi bam bonke babujonga emva komama noyise, akazukufumana nantoni na ebomini kwaye, emva koko, kubazali bakhe uhlambalaza ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuxazulula iingxaki zakhe kwaye abe noxanduva lobomi bakhe kunye nobomi babathandekayo bakhe.
Ukuchasa bonke
Imvelaphi yezakhiwo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana abavakalelwa kukuba banetyala malunga neyona nto yokuhlala kwabo kubazali, baqhubela inkululeko, bawela ngokweqile. Ngokutsho kweengxelo zeengqondo zezingane, i-90% yabantwana abaselula bayabantwana abangatshatileyo abanokuziva bengenakutyalalwa kubazali babo.
Kwaye kwimiba embalwa kuphela kunokwenzeka ukuba uthethe nge-patenism ye-psyche. Ukubonakalisa kwabanye ukuziphatha okuvuthayo-inkohlakalo, baqaphelisisa ukuba bafune "ukujeziswa".
Kuqhelekileyo ukuba isijeziso sinciphisa umva wecala kwaye abantwana abanjalo bazama ukususa ingxabano engaphakathi, bengenakuqonda ngokukhetha ixesha apho umntu enokuziva enetyala ngento ethile, eqondakalayo kwaye ecacileyo.
Gqabisa ifestile - unetyala - wahlwaywa, uhlwaywa. Konke ku cacile. Uzalelwe - abazali banxinzekile (batyala imali eninzi, imali, njl.) - kufuneka ube netyala. Le methorphosis ayisoloko ihlala emagxeni kunye nabantu abadala, ingqondo yengane kunye nale nto kwaye akunakwenzeka ukuba ayiqonde.
Imiphumo ebuhlungu
Umzekelo ocacileyo wenkxalabo yecala lokutshabalalisa ubomi ibali le-actress yaseHollywood uJennifer Aniston. Ukungaphumeleli ngokuqhubekayo ebomini bakhe bomntu kwamshukumisela ekubeni "udumileyo" ukuba "adume." Ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokuba engakuthandi ukuthetha malunga nobuntwana bakhe, unokuyinyamekela ubuhlobo bakhe nonina.
Abazali bakhe baqhawule xa beneminyaka eli-9 ubudala - uyise watshata omnye umfazi, unina wasala yedwa. Ukungaphumeleli kwimpumelelo kwintsimi yezobugcisa okanye kwi-"front front", loo mfazi akazange avumele intombi yakhe ukuba ibukele iTV ngenxa yokuba ... "Ndiyayiqonda loo nto ithetha kakubi - kuba ubaba wadlala ngalolo xesha kwimixholo ethi" Imihla yoBomi Bethu ". - Aniston wayexelela. "Awuyi kukholwa, andivumelekile ukuba ndiye kwiibhayisikobho ndize ndibe neshumi elinesibini."
Kungenzeka ukuba, kwamehlo kamama, le ntombazana yayiyimbangela yezithintelo kunye nesikhumbuzo esicasulayo somyeni wakhe wangaphambili: unina wayicinga ukuba intombazana leyo yayimbi kakhulu kwaye ihlala ihleka ngokukhawuleza ngayo.
Nangona impumelelo yokuphulaphula kukaJennifer kwi-TV series "Friends", eyamenza isithixo kumantombazana amaninzi, ayizithembi. "Ndiba nolwalamano oluqhelekileyo, kwanezibuko zendlu - ngothando-inzondo. Kwiintsuku ezithile ndiyithanda kakhulu kunabanye. "
Iminyaka engama-12 ubudala umdlali we-actress akazange akhulume kwaye akazange akhulume kwifowuni kunye nonina-ngokucacileyo ngale ndlela wazama ukulibala yonke into eyayiphefumlelwe ebuntwaneni.
I-"ayihlali" imigaqo engqondweni ifezwe ngeendlela ezimbini. Kwimeko enye, umntwana ufumana ukufakela "ungahlali ubomi bakho, kodwa uphile ubomi bam". Kwesinye, "ubomi bakho buhamba endleleni yam." Ngokwehlukile kokuqala, ekubeni ngumntu omdala, umntu uqala ukuzijonga engenanto, engakwaziyo nantoni na. Kufuneka ahlale ebonisa ukuba ufanelekile into ethile, into ithetha ukuba ufanelwe uthando kunye nentlonipho.
Ekubeni engayifumananga "ubungqina obaneleyo" bokubaluleka kwayo ngaphandle kokufumana uthando kunye nokuqatshelwa, uya kwixinzelelo oludityanisiweyo, ufuna ukuthuthuzelwa kotywala, ukuxhatshazwa kweziyobisi, ukulungisa ingxaki yokuzibulala. Ingxaki efanayo iyahamba kunye nabantwana abanethemba lokuba baye baphazamisana nabazali babo bonke ubomi babo, kubangele bakhathalele kunye nobunzima.
Ngoko qaphela ngamazwi, abazali abathandekayo. Yaye khumbula, ububi obubi kumntwana ukungabikho kobubele kunye nomsa. Makhe sifunde ukuthanda abantwana bethu ngenxa yokuba bangabantwana bethu!
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