Indlela yokusinda ekufeni komntu othandekayo

Uvame ukuva: "Umhlobo wam wangcwatywa ngumntu othandekayo. Ndifuna ukuxhasa, kodwa andiyazi into endiyithethayo. " Abantu banamhlanje bayesaba ukufa baze babaleke abantu abasinda ekufeni komntu othandekayo kwiintsapho zabo. Ngokungazi indlela yokuziphatha ngayo, abantu bavele baphindele emuva, balinde de kube loo mntu ebuyela kwizinto eziqhelekileyo ngokwabo. Yaye yodwa yomeleleyo yomoya, afune amagama kunye nenkxaso kwixesha elinzima lobomi.


Ngelishwa, imikhosi yasendulo yokulila emngcwabeni iyalityalwa. Ziyabonwa njengempahla, kodwa ngeze. Kwimiqathango yomngcwabo weenkulungwane zangaphambili kunentsingiselo ebalulekileyo, yonke into yayijoliswe ekunciphiseni iimvakalelo zentlungu kunye nokwesaba. Kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule indlela abafazi abenyiwe ngayo kwibhokisi yomntu oshonile, ephinda ngendlela yokulila nokukhala amagama athile. Isithethe esinjalo sasibangelembezi phakathi kwalabo babenomvandalo obunzima, bezisa ukuzondla nokukhulula umntu entlungu ebunzulu bomphefumlo wabo. Ngoku phakathi kwabantu kuya kwamkelwa ukuba "baxhomeke" kufuphi nebhokisi, ngaphandle kokukhala iinyembezi, eyingozi kakhulu kwi-psyche.

Isigaba sosizi

Ukuvakalelwa kwentlungu nokuhlupheka emva kokufa komntu othandekayo kunqunywe ngamanyathelo athile. Kuphela ngokudlulisa bonke, umntu ufunda ngokukhawuleza ukujamelana nosizi kwaye ugcine ubuninzi bempilo yengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ezi zigaba zihluke njani ukulandelelanisa ukuphuhliswa okuchanekileyo okanye okuphambili kwenkqubo kunye nabahlobo babo okanye ngokwabo. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho "ukunyaniseka" kwinqanaba elithile, xa sele sele ungenalo uncedo olungcali.

Ukutshatyalazwa nobunzima

Kuhlala okungaphantsi kweveki. Umntu akayiqondi kwaye akamkeli ilahleko, akakwazi ukukholelwa ngokupheleleyo kuyo. Ibonakalisa ekuphelelweni okupheleleyo, kwaye, ngokuchaseneyo, kwimisebenzi eqhelekileyo, ubungqingili. Umbuso wokugqibela unobungozi, kuye umntu kaninzi akaqondi kakuhle ukuba ungubani, uphi na kwaye uya kwenza ntoni. Iimeko ziqheleke ngokuzimeleyo, kodwa kubalulekile ukugcina abantu ngokuthe ngqo.

Indoda kufuneka ikhale. Akukho mzekelo ungamthathi ebhokisini, ungazami ukukhawulezisa umngcwabo. Lo ngumzuzu apho ungabona khona ixesha elide lokugqibela. Ukulila nokububula emngcwabeni kuyaphilisa, nangona kungenakwenzeka ukuba kungabonakali. Le nkqubo ayikwazi ukuvalwa. Ngokuphambene noko, "iqhwa" ekusizini lwakho olufunekayo ukunceda ukukhala, ukuphumla, ukukhulula ngengqondo.

Ukulahlwa

Ukulala iminyaka engamashumi amane. Emva kolu xesha, qulunqa ukuphaphama, ukuphawula "ukukhululwa" komntu oshonile, ukwamkela ukuba umphefumlo wakhe awusayi kuhlala. Umntu, njengomgaqo, sele eqonda ngokucacileyo ukulahlekelwa kwakhe, nangona i-subconscious yakhe ayiyi kwamkela nangayiphi indlela. Ngokuqhelekileyo ubona oshonile kwisihlwele, uva iinyawo zakhe. Musa ukwesaba oku! Kukholelwa ukuba kulungile ukuba umntu ofileyo ubunamanye amaxesha ngamaphupha.

Ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumthandayo kwaye ufuna ukumbona ephupheni, zama ukuthetha ngengqondo. Mcele ukuba aphuphe. Iingcali zengqondo zithi xa umntu ofileyo engaphupheli ixesha, inkqubo yokulila ivalwe. Kule meko, uncedo lwenzululwazi yengqondo luyadingeka. Kubalulekile ukugcina yonke intetho malunga nomfi. Kulo xesha kuqhelekile ukuba umntu osilayo uya kulila.

Ukwamkela ukulahlekelwa, ukuhlala ngaphakathi kwentlungu

Eli nqanaba lifikelela kwiinyanga ezintandathu. Ukulangazelela umfi kuhamba "ngamaza": kubonakala ukukhulula, kwaye kuqinisa kwakhona. Umntu nje owaziyo intlungu yakhe, ezama ukuhlala naye, ukulawula, nangona ayisoloko isebenza. Emva kweenyanga ezintathu, ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukungaphumeleli kwenzeka - amandla akanye aphelelwe amandla. Umntu uwela ekungcoleni, ukuxinezeleka, kubonakala ngathi yonke into iya kuhlala iyimbi, intlungu ayisoze yayeka.

Eli nqanaba lizisa ingqiqo enzulu yecala ("awukho, kodwa ndihlala"). Lo luhlobo olusabelayo lokukhusela, umzamo wengqondo ukufumana ulawulo phezu kwimeko ("ndi netyala, ndiyakushintsha into"). Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu abanako ukuphazamisa iimeko zokufa komntu othandekayo, ekugqibeleni bafanele bawamukele le ngcamango. "Kukho ukuvutha komsindo kumfi (" kutheni ungandishiyile? "). Kwinkqubo yokutshisa, oku kuqhelekileyo, ngokuqhelekileyo ixesha elinjalo lifutshane.

Abantu badla ngokukrakra ngolu ngcamango olukhuni, kodwa luvela, kwaye kufuneka lwamkelwe. Ubundlobongela buhlala ixesha elide ngaphandle, "unetyala" ekufeni komntu othandekayo. Kwakhona umzamo wengqondo ukufumana ubuncinane ukulawula okuthile. Into eyona nto kukuba inkqubo yokufuna abantu abanetyala ayithathi ixesha elide. Iinyembezi ngeli xesha zingaphantsi. Umntu ufunda ngokukhawuleza ukuba abekho ngaphandle komntu ofileyo. Ukuba inkqubo yokulila iqhuba ngokuqhelekileyo, iphupha lokufa ngeli xesha lide ngendlela eyahlukileyo - kwihlabathi elithile, phakathi kweengelosi, kungekho ekhaya.

Izibonelelo

Ixesha lifikile. Umntu sele sele ekwazi ngokupheleleyo ukulahlekelwa kwaye uthatha othandekayo ufile nje. Ebusweni kukho ukubuyiswa ngokukhawuleza kwemisebenzi yangaphambili, ukudibana kunye nemisebenzi. Kukho amatsha amatyala, abahlobo, umntu uqala ukuhlala kumgangatho ohlukile. Ngeenkqubo ezifanelekileyo zokulila, abahambayo bakhunjulwa njengabaphilayo (abafayo), bathetha ngokukrokra ngezihlandlo ezimnandi ezenzeka kuye. Ekupheleni konyaka, umntu unokukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe zokuthetha, ukwesaba nentlungu.

Ukuphindaphinda ngokulula kwazo zonke izigaba

Kuhamba wonke unyaka wesibini wobomi. I-splash eyona nzima kunokwenzeka ngonyaka wokuqala wonyaka. Nangona kunjalo, umntu uye wafunda ukulawula intlungu yakhe, iimvakalelo azizinzileyo. Ngokusondeleyo phakathi kwonyaka wesibini, ukugqithiswa kokugqibela kwemizwa enzima kuphawulwa. Ukulula okulula, ukuba kukho ixesha lokulungiselela ngaphakathi ekufeni. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba umthandayo wayegula ixesha elide, kwaye isiphumo sagqityelwe.

Ngemihla embalwa yohlobo "lokulungiselela" lunokunciphisa kakhulu intlungu yabantu abathandekayo. Into ebangela ubuhlungu kunye nobuhlungu bufumana ukufa okungalindelekanga kwingozi engumphumo. Ukulula kancinci umntu okhulile, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ukunakekelwa kwabantwana. Amadoda anzima kakhulu ukufumana ukufa kunabesifazane. Ngokumalunga namadoda alindelekileyo okulindelekileyo, "abanakulila", kanti iinyembezi zeentombi zendalo kwaye ziyaqondakala kubo bonke.

Ukuba yonke inkqubo yokulila idlula ngokuqhelekileyo, ngoko kwiminyaka emibili iphelile ngokupheleleyo. Abayilibala malunga nomfi, kodwa ngoku bahlala ngaphandle kwayo. Bakhumbula abafileyo, ukukhanya, ukukhanya, ngaphandle kwezinyembezi, inzondo kunye netyala. Ukuba oku kungenzeki, unokufuna uncedo lweengqondo.

Ukufa kweeRbb yasekhaya

Ukufa kwezilwanyana ezifuywayo kudlalwa njengento ebuhlungu njengokulahlekelwa kwesihlobo. Imikhosi kule nqanaba zigaba ezifanayo zokulila. Unzima kunazo zonke, ukuba abanini kufuneka bazimele ngokuzimeleyo kwisilwanyana. Oku kunzima ukuwamkela, kodwa kwiimeko ezinjalo kunceda imbono yokuba isilwanyana, ukwazi ukuthetha, mhlawumbi sibuze malunga nokuhoxiswa kwayo. Ukuba isilwanyana sasigula kakhulu ngaphambi kokufa, isigqibo sokulala siwukuphelisa ukubandezeleka, kwaye akukho daba lokubulawa.

Isilwanyana sahlala sinovuyo kwaye siphelile ngasecaleni kwakho, kwaye ukugqithisa akuzange kube ngukungcatshiswa kuye. Kunceda ukulahla into encinci kwimemori yesilwanyana. Umzekelo, unokunceda ngemali yezilwanyana ezingenamakhaya.