Ngaba kuyafanelekela kumhlobo othandekayo?

Ubuhlobo bubaluleke kakhulu. Isekelwe phantse bonke ubudlelwane ebomini bethu. Kodwa ngaba kukufanele ukuba ube ngumhlobo nomntu omthandayo?


Ukuthandana

Ukuze ukhulume ngale ngongoma, kufuneka uhlukanise ubuhlobo nomntu obathandayo kwiindidi ezimbini: xa ekuthanda kwaye xa ecinga wena njengomhlobo kuphela. Masiqale ngodidi lokuqala.

Ukuba udibana nomntu othandekayo, ngoko kulolu hlobo, ubuhlobo buzalisekisa ubuhlobo bakho. Inyani kukuba umhlobo ngumntu sonke esithembayo kwaye sikwazi ukuphatha ngokufanelekileyo ezo meko xa ephosakeleyo. Ngelishwa, oku akusoloko kwanele kwintelano yesibini. Kubonakala ngathi kukho uthando kunye nomnqweno, kodwa akukho ukuthembela kunye nokuqonda. Kananjalo ngenxa yokuba abantu abakwazi ukuba ngabahlobo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, bathetha ukuba iibhangqa ezigqwesileyo zifunyenwe kubahlobo abakhulu. Kwaye kunjalo. I-Delov kukuba xa ekuqaleni indoda kunye nomfazi behlobo, bayazi ngokwenene. Ngaphambi kokuba sizame ukubonakala ngathi singcono kunathi, zifihla iimpazamo zethu njalonjalo. Zihlobo ukuba abantu baninzi bawubonakalisa ngokupheleleyo imiphefumlo yabo. Ngoko ke, xa unomvakalelo oqinileyo uphuma phakathi kwabahlobo bezesondo ezahlukeneyo, kulula kakhulu ukuba bakhe ubuhlobo. Basele bazi ukuba balindele ntoni komnye nomnye, ngubani ofuna okokunye njalo njalo. Kodwa xa abantu babengenabo abahlobo, ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba ekuhambeni kwexesha badidekile omnye komnye, kuba ekuqaleni bazama nzima ukubonisa omnye umntu omnye, ukunikezela oko babemfuna ngokwenene, kodwa xa ubuhlobo buqala ukukhula, imfuneko yokuba yabonakala, kwaye , ukuba umntu othandekayo unemiphumo eninzi, enzima kakhulu ukudibanisa.

Ubuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi odibeneyo okanye obatshatileyo kuyimfuneko kwaye kubalulekile. Ngako oko, kufuneka uhlale uzama ukuba ngumfana wakho, kungekhona nje umfazi onqwenelekayo, kodwa nomhlobo omhle. Amantombazana amaninzi, kunye namakhwenkwe, akhalaza ukuba iinqunci zabo zifihlile into kwaye zixelela nabahlobo babo, kodwa zithwale. Oku akumangalisi, kuba umhlobo unokukwazi ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza, ucebise, ngelixa ungaxhatshazwa kwaye "uphepha intlanzi kwindlovu." Umntu ozithandayo kunokuba abe nomsindo, enze i-scandals, qulunqa into ethile, eqinisweni ayikho njalo njalo. Umhlobo unokuhlala ehlazileyo ukubonakalisa ukunganeliseki ngokuziphatha kwakhe, uze uxoxe ngezinto ezakhayo kwaye ungesabi ukuba uya kushiya iinyembezi, esithi uya kudlala. Kwaye isiqingatha sesibini sinokwenza okunje.

Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukuhlakulela ubudlelwane obunempilo kunye nentembelo phakathi kwakho nomthandayo, funda ukuba ngumhlobo wakhe. Khumbula ukuba unendawo yakhe. Ungakulibali ukuba ungumntu ophilileyo, oko kuthetha ukuba akade kakhulu, njengalowo nalowo wethu. Zama ukubheka izenzo zakhe ngokucokisekileyo kwaye ungacingi ukuba unako konke. Yiyo kanye loo nto abahlobo abayenzayo, ukuba kunjalo, benene kwaye bayinyani.

Umntu ngamnye ufuna umhlobo othembekileyo nonokwethenjelwa, unokuxelela bonke izinto, ngaphandle koyiko lokuba abayi kumqonda, baya kubagweba amasela. Kwaye ukuba ukuba ngumhlobo onjalo umhlobo ube nguwe kanye, ngoko ubudlelwane buya kuba "ezintlanu kunye kunye." Akayi kuyidlala nantoni na, njengoko uya kukwazi ukuba uya kuqonda kwaye uyamxhasa. Uya kuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nawe kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo uthatha abahlobo bakhe kwinkampani, njengoko enokuthetha nawe. Khumbula ukuba uthando alukwazi ukuhlala ngonaphakade. Ekuqaleni okanye ekuhambeni kwexesha kuqhubekile, kwaye ke, ukuba akukho buhlobo kunye nokuxhasana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, ubudlelwane buya kufika ekupheleni.

Uthando olungelona luthando

Imeko eyahlukileyo iyaqhubeka xa umntu omnye enobubele kwaye omnye uyakuthanda. Kule meko, okokuqala, kufuneka unqume ukuba unokuba ngumhlobo oyinyaniso kumntu othandekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uya kugqiba kunye nawe okanye cha. Kuye wonke umntu unentliziyo enkulu kunye neentliziyo eziqinileyo zokubukela njengobungqina obusondeleyo bokwakha nomnye umntu. Ngoko ke, akukho ntoyikekayo kwaye ihlawulelwe ukuze ilahle ubuhlobo nomntu othandekayo. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene, ke yonke into iya kuqondwa. Inyaniso kukuba ubungqina obuninzi kubaninzi belilitye, elingavumelekanga ukuba liqhubeke. Umntu uhlala ethemba ukuba uya kubonwa nje ngomhlobo kwaye akazami ukwakha ubomi bakhe. Ekugqibeleni, uhlala ethunzini lomthandayo kunye ne voobscheene ucinga ngekamva lakhe.

Xa uzama ukuba ngumhlobo nomntu omthandayo, cinga ukuba awukwazi ukuphazamisana ubudlelwane nabanye. Abanye abantu, ngokusebenzisa ubuhlobo babo, baqale ukuceba abo bathandekayo, ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane babo nabanye njalo njalo. Akuqhelekanga. Ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene umntu, mvumele ahambe aze aphile ubomi bakho, ukuba awukwazi ukubheka uvuyo lwakhe nabanye. Ngaphandle koko, akuyi kubakho uxolo kuye, nivam. Uya kubandezeleka ngenxa yokuba ubomi bakhe abuquki, kodwa uya kuqala ukuqoqa umsindo kunye nentukuthelo ngenxa yokuba usakubona ungumhlobo.

Ewe, kukho abo bantu ababeka ulonwabo lomntu othandekayo ngaphezu kwamava kunye neentlungu. Kule meko, unako. Kuphela kufuneka ufunde ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba umthandayo ungumhlobo kuphela kwaye akukho nto. Ukuba ubona ukuba uyamfuna ngokwenene kwaye uzive ukuba ubuhlobo naye bulungele kuwe kunanto, ube nobungane. Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba uthando luya kuba ngumhlobo kwimo yawo ecocekileyo. Oko kukuthi, ukunyuka komonde, nothando, intlonipho kunye nokunyaniseka komntu kuhlala. Oku kuya kwenzeka nawe. Into ephambili akuyi kuyenza nayiphi na imibingelelo. Zizikhethele okokuyo lonwabo ngokwenene kuwe. Mhlawumbi le yinto enelungelo lakho lokuphila ngobomi bodwa kwaye kuya kuba lula kwaye kukhululekile ukuba ube ngumngane walo mntu kunokuba wakhe ubuhlobo nomntu ongenakukwazi ukuthandana kakhulu.

Ukuba ukhethe ubuhlobo nomhlobo wakho, fundela ukuzonwabisa ngezinto onayo. Nangona akakuthandi, uyazixabisa, ucinga ngoluvo lwakho, uyavuya kunye kunye ne-swamis - kwaye sele sele ilungile. Abaninzi abanakho oku. Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ukuba sisondele komntu esimthandayo, sinovakalelo. Ngoko ke, kwimeko xa ukhetha ubuhlobo nomhlobo wakho, mzame ukuzonwabisa ngezinto onayo.

Abantu abaninzi bayaqhubeka bekholelwa kwaye banethemba lokuba baya kuthandwa. Kwaye ngokufanelekileyo. Ukuba kuphela umthandayo ufanelwe iimvakalelo kunye nokulindela. Emva komntu omhle, esimthandayo, sifuna ukuhlala singcono, sifeze into ethile. Ngako oko, ubuhlobo obunjalo buza kuvelisa isiqhamo, akufuneki ukuba ukholelwa ukuba umntu ozayo uza kuba ngowakho kamva. Yenza yonke into icinge isigqibo. Enyanisweni, kukho amaxesha apho ubuhlobo bukhula bube yintando. Kwaye kuya kuba yinto emangalisayo, ukuba lakho ityala liya kuba njalo.

Kodwa nakweyiphi na imeko, ukuba ngabahlobo okanye ukungabi ngabahlobo nomhlobo wakho othandayo. Akufanele kuxhomekeke kuye okanye nakwabanye. Ufanele ugqibe isigqibo sokuba uza kuba ngcono njani, ukuba uya kuziva njani uvuyo: ube ngumhlobo womntu omthandayo okanye umshiye ngonaphakade.