Ngoko, ngaba kuyimfuneko ukunika isipho esixabisekileyo kumntu othandekayo? Lo mbuzo ubuzwa ngabafazi abaninzi ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi. Eyokuqala kubo kukuba izipho ezibizayo zenzelwe abantu abangayiva into esiziva ngayo. Ewe, ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umfazi ubona umntu kumthandayo, kwaye ungumhlobo nje. Kule meko, abaninzi abantu bacinga ukuba kuyafaneleka yini ukumnika into ekhethekileyo okanye ungayenza ngemiboniso ejwayelekile. Enyanisweni, izipho kufuneka zihlale ziboniswa kuphela ngentliziyo ecocekileyo. Kwaye akunandaba nokuba zibiza kangakanani. Into ephambili yindlela umphefumlo omninzi kunye nokuqhotyoshelweyo kumntu onalo kutyalomali. Yingakho, ukuba ukhetha isipho kubathandekayo bakho, okokuqala okokugqiba isigqibo sokuba uyafuna ukuba aziqonde iimvakalelo zakho. Khumbula ukuba kuvela kuyo nawuphi na umntu ukuba azibonele kwizipho ukuba umntu obalulekileyo wokuzalwa ubaluleke kangakanani kumnikezeli. Ukuba izipho zihlobo olufanayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha alunanto, ngoko umntu akazami ukuzisa nabo uvuyo. Uzama nje ukunika into, kuba kunjalo. Ukuba awufuni into enokuqwalaselwa ngeso lengqondo okanye uzikhumbule ngeemvakalelo zakho, kuyafaneleka ukuba unike umnikelo onjalo. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba ubuncinci uthintele intandazana malunga nokuba uyakhathalela kangakanani, khetha oko akuthandayo, uyayixabisa kwaye uyayithanda.
Ukunikezela ngezipho ezinjalo, kufuneka uhlale ukhumbule ukuba akhululeki. Akukho mntu unokukuthembisa ukuba into yokuqwalasela iya kufuna ukunikela izipho ezifanayo kumntu wakho. Ngako oko, ngaphambi kokuba uthenge into ekhethekileyo kumntu othandekayo, gqiba ukuba unokuphila ngokuthula, ukwazi ukuba, mhlawumbi, akayi kukwazi ukukuhlawula ngolu hlobo lwemali. Ukuba awukhathaleli kwaye injongo ephezulu yokuthenga ngokwenene inqwenelo yokwenza umntu onwabileyo, ngoko ke ufumane into enokuyenza ibe nemihlali kunye neloyiko. Kungenjalo, bhetele ungayishiyi le ngcamango, ngoko ungagqirha uze uphawule umntu ngokunyanzela nokungahloneli, kuba akayi kunika into enjalo.
Ngendlela, kufuneka uhlale uqaphele ngezipho zomntu ongenamvakalelo efanayo enjengokuba wenza kuye. Inyaniso kukuba kukho abantu abatsha abasebenzisa iimvakalelo zabanye kwaye, emva kokufumana izipho ezinjalo, baqala ukuba bengenangqiqo, bacaphuke baze baphinde baphinde baphinde baxakeke. Kule meko, ngenxa yeemvakalelo zakho zothando, kuya kuba nzima ukuba unqabe kwaye umfana uya kuqala ukufumana yonke into ayifunayo ngaphandle kwembuyekezo. Ukuba ubona ukuba umntu akayi kukusebenzisa ngenxa yeenjongo zemali, kwaye isipho siya kumnceda ube nolonwabo kunokuba nayiphina impendulo, uze ufumane oko ucinga ukuba kuyimfuneko. Ewe, izipho ezibiza kakhulu akunakwenzeka ukuthenga uthando. Kodwa ezi zichanekileyo ezi zikhethi abantu bakhetha ngokusekelwe kumaphupha kunye neminqweno yabantu abayingxenye yale nkxalabo enomdla kakhulu kubo bonke abantu abaqhelekileyo, kwaye kwezinye iimeko zivusa iimvakalelo zothando. Into ephambili - ungadluli ngezipho ezinjalo, ukuze insizwa ingaguquki rhoqo. Khumbula ukuba yonke into enhle inomlinganiselo.
Enye into xa umbuzo uhambelana nomntu omthandayo, odibana naye. Kule meko, usadinga ukunyamekela ukuba uya kukunika izipho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, oku akude kube yinto ekhethekileyo yobudlelwane. Yaye ukunika into elinganayo nemali enikezwe nguwe, ayinyanzelekile. Kuye ngenye into: malunga nokuba ungakanani umntu oya kukuqwalasela. Nasiphi na isipho, esinikwe ngumthandayo, sibonisa ukukhathazeka kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo kuwe. Ingongoma apha ayikho nakwimali, kodwa ngokubodwa, kwindlela ehambelana ngayo neminqweno yakho. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukupha isipho esibathandayo, khumbula ngeento ayenzela zona. Kwaye ukuba uqaphela ukuba uyazama ukukholisa umlingane wakho kwintsapho, uza kunye neziqhamo zokuqala kwaye uzame ukumkholisa ngayo yonke indlela, kwaye uyayithatha kwaye ayiyi kuzama ukwenza into ngokubuyisela, kusekho imfuneko ukuhlalutya imeko kwaye wenze isigqibo, Ngaba indlela yakho yokuziphatha ichaphazela kakubi indlela owenza ngayo umntu ovela kwi-gigolo? Abaninzi abasetyhini balungele ukuphendulela ngaphakathi umntu obizayo kwaye banike imali yokugqibela ukuze amenze avuyiswe. Ngoko unokwenza kuphela xa ufumana into ngokubuyisela. Ukungabi nantoni, oku, kunjalo, kulungile kakhulu, kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba ube nemida kwaye ungahambi ngaphaya kwezinto ezivumelekileyo. Umfana ongenakwenzeka ukuxabisa isipho xa usichitha kuyo yonke ibhajethi yentsapho. Kwakhona, akunjalo ukuba uya kuba novelwano xa ufunda ukuba uchithe yonke imivuzo yakho kwaye sele ulambile kwaye unalo ithuba lokuba uhlawule indlu kwaye uzithenge isonka. Ngoko ke, xa ukhetha isipho kumntu omthandayo, ungalokothi ukhohlwe ngawe.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyamnandi xa umntu othandekayo ehlabathini ahlala evuyiswa ngovuyo, kodwa, kholwa, awuyi kuneliswa yoluvuyo kwaye awuyi kukwazi ukugqoka. Ngako oko, ngaphambi kokuba ukhethe into enhle kakhulu kwaye ikhethekileyo kumntu wakho omthandayo, balala uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali kwaye uqikelele ukuba isipho esingasifaka kangakanani. Ukuba ukukhwabanisa kubonakala kukubaluleke kakhulu, shiya ingcamango yakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungathanda ukuyisebenzisa njani. Hlalani nikhumbula ukuba ukuzisa abantu kulungile, kodwa ukwenza oko kukulimaza kuyisidenge, kwaye kuyinto enomvandalo. Ngoko ke, zama ukuqiniseka ukuba isipho sizisa uvuyo kubo bonke abantu kwaye asibanga umonakalo kunoma ubani.