Ubomi bomama ongatshatanga

Inqobo yendabuko yentsapho evuyayo ibandakanya ukuvela koomama, uyise kunye nabantwana. Ngenxa yobuninzi babantu, yile ntsapho leyo yindalo kwaye ifaneleka. Kodwa ubomi buninzi, kukho iintsapho apho izizathu ezahlukeneyo zingabikho abantwana okanye indima yabazali bobabini eyenziwa ngabanye abadala. Kwenzeka ukuba emva kokuqhawulwa kwabazali, abantwana bahlala behlala nonina, ngoko baninzi banina abangabantwana abangabantwana. Baxolisa, bancedwa, banconywa ngabo, baphinde bagwetywe. Kodwa akuyena wonke umntu owaziyo ngobomi babafazi abanjalo.
Ngubani oomama ongatshatanga?

Emashumi ambalwa eminyaka edlulileyo, ukhetho lomfazi oluthile lokuba ngumama ongatshatanga lubonakala lungenangqondo. Ngoku akuqhelekanga. Kwiidolophu ezinkulu apho ubomi buhamba khona ngokwemiqathango yayo, apho imida phakathi kokuqala kwindoda neyesetyhini isuswe ngokupheleleyo, abaninzi abafazi banquma ukuba nomntwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba iqabane elifanelekileyo lifunyenwe okanye cha. Njengomthetho, aba bafazi abadala abadala abanokunika umntwana uphahla kuphela, kodwa nabo balungele ukunyamekela ngokupheleleyo uxanduva lwabo. La mabhinqa ayidingi inkxaso okanye inkxaso evela kurhulumente, bathembela kuphela kubo.

Olunye udidi lwabafazi abasoloko behlala bodwa kunye nabantwana bantombazana amancinci abalethe abantwana ngokukhawuleza, bengakulungele. Ngokuqhelekileyo bazala abantwana ngaphandle komtshato okanye umtshato utshabalalisa ngokukhawuleza, njengoko abantwana babengacwangcanga okanye bafunwa ngabazali bobabini. Oku kwenzeka xa intombazana iqala ukuhlala ubomi bomdala ngokukhawuleza nangaphambili, kodwa ayikwazi ukuthatha uxanduva ngokupheleleyo kwizenzo zakhe. Okubangela ukukhulelwa kwangaphambili.

Eyona ndlela, iqela eliqhelekileyo lingumama ongatshatanga, abashiywe yodwa emva komtshato. Ngelishwa, akukho mntu ukhuselekile kwiingxaki kunye nokudumala. Xa abantu bakha intsapho, banethemba lokulungileyo, kodwa ngexesha abantu kunye neendleko zabo zitshintsha, abafazi abangekho endleleni yabo. Akunandaba ukuba ubani oqala i-gap, nangona iphi na isizathu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba umntwana unqatshelwe. Oomama kufuneka bathathe inxaxheba yobawo ekukhulisweni komntwana.

Iingxaki

Oomama abangabodwa bayadinga uncedo phantse rhoqo. Kwakungekho nje ngemali, njengoko abaninzi besifazane banalo ithuba lokufumana ngokwaneleyo ukuzinzela bona kunye nomntwana wabo. Ubunzima obuninzi buziswa luluntu.
Okokuqala, ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi okhupha umntwana wedwa unembopheleleko kabini kuye. Ngokugqithisileyo okanye ngokungafunekiyo, kodwa ixhomekeke kwiimfuneko ezingqongqo, kuze kube lula ukuba abantu bajonge ukunyamekela naziphi na iinzame zokulungiselela ubomi bomntu, ukutyelelwa kuthathwa njengononophelo, ukukhathazeka ngengqondo yengqondo yomntwana, nokuba ngaba lona wesifazane uziphatha ngokungqongqo kwimida yokuziphatha. Kuvela ukuba ilungelo lokuba nobomi bomntu kunye novuyo, umama ongatshatanga uhlawula ngokugwetywa okuvulekileyo.
Okwesibini, ibhinqa ibhekene neemeko ezininzi apho kubandakanyeka ngabazali ababini, engenayo impembelelo enhle kwiimeko zakhe zengqondo. Ngexesha apho abafazi abatshatileyo banokuthembela kuncedo kunye nenkxaso yendoda, oomama abangatshatanga banyanzelekile ukuba baziphathe ngokwabo. Xa kungabikho uncedo, abafazi bahlala behlala bucala, ebomini babo bengaqhelekanga indawo nayiphi na enye ngaphandle komntwana kunye nomsebenzi.
Okwesithathu, akuyiyo imfihlo yokuba oomama abangabodwa bayabhalwa ingcinezelo yomzwelo kwabanye. Oku kubonakala ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Amantombazana abatshatileyo abaphatha kakubi, ngokusoloko egxekisayo, kuba kuluntu lwethu kukholelwa kakhulu ukuba uxanduva lokulondolozwa kwentsapho luhlala ngokupheleleyo nalo mfazi. Ukuba ibhinqa alizange lifumane indoda okanye limbambe, ke iphoso longezwe kuye. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho iingxaki emsebenzini onxulumene nokunyamekelwa esibhedlele kubantwana, kukho izihlandlo apho izihlobo zingeneli kakuhle ekukhuliseni umntwana, zikholelwa ukuba yedwa umama akanako ukujamelana nalo.

Kukho ezinye iingxaki oomama abangabodwa abangayazi ngeengxolo. Kunzima kakhulu ukuchazela abantwana abakhulileyo, apho uyise wabo, kutheni engahlali nabo.

Uluhlu lweengxaki

Kubonakala ngathi akukho nto ilula - kunele ukufumana indoda enhle kunye noyise kubantwana bakho ukuxazulula zonke iingxaki zoomama abangatshatanga. Kodwa, buhlungu njengoko kubonakala ngathi, ukuba abantwana abayidingi uyise, umntakwabo womnye umntu uyabafuna kangako. Ibhinqa alisoloko ilungele ulwalamano olunzulu, kunzima kwengqondo ukuba ikholelwe enye indoda. Ukongezelela, oomama banenkxalabo malunga nendlela ulwalamano oluthe xaxa lwabantwana babo kunye noyise wabo wesibini luya kuphuhliswa ngayo, kuba kukho nayiphi na ingxabano baya kuziva batyala. Abanye abafazi banenhlanhla, badibana nomntu oba nguyise oyinyaniso kubantwana babo kunye nenkxaso yabo, kodwa oku akusoloko kwenzeka.

Ukuba akukho mntu ofanelekileyo, ngoko kufuneka ufunde ukucombulula iingxaki zakho. Musa ukulibala ukuba imfundo yabantwana kubaluleke kakhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isini. Bobabini amantombazana namakhwenkwe badinga isandla somntu. Kuhle xa uyise egcina ubudlelwane nabantwana emva kokuqhawula umtshato, kodwa ukuba akunjalo, kufuneka ufune indlela yokuphuma. Kakade. Ukukhulisa abantwana ongekho umntu ongaziwayo, akunakwenzeka, kodwa impembelelo yabantu abasondeleyo kuyimfuneko. Ingaba nguyisekazi, umalume, owaziwayo onokuthi asebenze ngexesha elifanayo nabantwana, ahambe nabo, bathethe. Kwanqabile, kodwa iintlanganiso rhoqo ziya kuba luncedo kwaye ziza kunceda abantwana basinde ekunqongophala koyise.

Kubalulekile ukuba umfazi asebenze ngokuzithemba kwakhe. Ngaphantsi kwempembelelo yombono woluntu kunye nobomi obunzima, uhlala ehlupheka. Isidingo sokuziva ngathi umntu ozele ngokupheleleyo, onelungelo lonwabo, akanakuphikiswa. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuzama ukufumana into ebomini ngaphandle kokungaphumeleli kwangaphambili, ubunzima nabantwana kunye nemihla ngemihla. Kwanele ukuzama ukufumana into ekunceda uhlale uyathuthuzela ngokomoya ukuze ulahleke iimvakalelo zetyala kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ezimbi. Oku kuyimfuneko kubantwana bakho, kuba unina ovuyayo ungcono ngakumbi kunokuba umama angonwabanga.

Enye impazamo eyenziwa ngabafazi abangabodwa bayagcinwa ngokugqithiseleyo kubantwana. Akumangalisi ukuba abantwana babe ngababo babaluleke kakhulu ebomini, ubuncinane ixesha elide. Kodwa i-hyperopeak iyingozi kumntwana wengqondo. Usana olulolo hlobo luya kukhula lukhuni, luxhomekeke kwaye luyingane. Umama kufuneka acinge ngexesha apho umntwana wakhe akhula kwaye alungele ubomi obuzimeleyo. Ngako oko, kufuneka amkhathalele ukuba akavuywanga kuphela ebuntwaneni bakhe, oko kukuthi, ukusebenzela ikamva. Ngoko ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba lukhulu kangakanani isilingo, akufuneki ukuba ukhuthaze umntwana ukuba abantu bangenakuthenjwa, nokuba ngaba umfazi usandul 'ukutshutshiswa. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kuyisono soomama abangatshatanga abaneentombi, bafundisa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba onke amadoda kufuneka athengise aze akhohlise. Ukuphazamisa umfanekiso wangempela wehlabathi lomntwana kwaye kuthintela ulwalamano olusondeleyo nolwabelana ngesondo.

Oomama abangabodwa bayaphila ubomi obunzima, kodwa kaninzi bazinzima ngakumbi. Kuya kuba yimpazamo ukucinga ukuba nokuba nomntwana okanye ukuhlukanisa iifowuni kukungaba ngumbuzo wokufumana ulonwabo olungakumbi. Kubalulekile ukulondoloza ngokwakho ezo zimpawu ezikuvumela ukuba ukholelwe kwizinto ezilungileyo, ukuba uvule kwaye uzuze. Kubomi babasetyhini, iimfuno zabo kunye nabantwana babo kufanele zize kuqala. Ngeso simo sengqondo ebomini, akuyi kuba nendawo yokuvakalelwa ngamagama athethayo okanye ubunzima bokuzithemba. Umama ngamnye unamathuba okwaneleyo okwenza umntwana onwabe kwaye ujabule ngokwakhe. Ufuna ukuwasebenzisa nje.