Ngokuqhelekileyo, inxalenye engenabuhlungu kunye namadoda, abafazi banelisekile kwaye banqabile. Banika ukhetho lokuphila ngokuzimeleyo, kodwa akukho ndlela yokuphila kunye nomntu obangela intlungu. Kodwa abafazi ababuthathaka nabasengozini abafuni ukubeka umngcipheko, nangona sisifo esibuhlungu. Ngaphandle kokungathandwa, kodwa kusekho kumyeni wakhe. Oku kubangelwa kukuba bayesaba ukuba bangakwazi ukudala ubudlelwane obutsha obuhlala kunye nendoda. Ngoko ke zeziphi na iindidi ezimbini zabasetyhini ezikhethayo?
Elinye lala mabhinqa lilungile ngendlela yalo. Kucacile ukuba ukupheliswa kokugqibela nomyeni wakhe kunokwenziwa kuphela xa kungekho ndlela enye ngaphandle kwimeko.
Kodwa ukuba ufikile kwisigqibo sokuba akukho ndlela yokuphuma ngaphandle kokuqhawula umtshato, kuya kuba bubulumko ukwenza oku, ukuqiniseka ukuba uxhasayo kunye nabasondeleyo, ekubeni ibhinqa elingatshatanga, ingakumbi ekuqaleni, lingafuna uncedo. Kwaye kufuneka wenze oku ngenxa yokuba akudingeki ufune uncedo kumyeni wakho wangaphambili. Yena, njengawe, kufuneka acinge ngokudaliweyo kwintsapho entsha, engekho lula kakhulu, ingakumbi ukuba umfazi owayengumfazi uhlala emncinci - okokuqala. Kwaye okwesibini, umyeni wangaphambili, izicelo zakho eziqhubekayo zoncedo zingabonwa njengethemba lokubuyiswa kobudlelwane obudlulileyo. Ukuba ubuhlobo bakho abuyi kubuyiselwa, awudingi ukumqinisekisa ngokuchaseneyo kwaye unike ithemba kwizinto eziye zahamba ngokuthe tye.
Ukugqiba ukuqhawula indoda engayithandiyo, umfazi kufuneka azame ukunganciphisi ukuzithemba. Nangona kunjalo, ebantwini bethu abangafezekanga, umfazi oqhawulekileyo unesimo esingaphantsi kwesimo somfazi otshatileyo. Ngesizathu esithile, umfazi oqhawule umtshato ukhangeleka njengomntu olahlekileyo okanye otyumkileyo, ongenako ukugcina ikhaya lentsapho. Kubonakala ngokucacileyo kwiidolophana ezincinci, apho phantse bonke abantu bazana. Njengomthetho, imbangela yokuqhawula umtshato ayichangekanga, yinto nje into yokuba umfazi ugwetywe ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkcukacha. U-Iti ukugweba, ewe, iminyango kwi-psyche, ukuphoqeleka ukufihla amehlo kubadluli.
Kodwa kukho indlela yokuphuma kule meko, kwaye ayinzima kakhulu. Umfazi kuphela kufuneka abe kanye kwaye bonke bayaqonda ukuba uyaziphila yena, kungekhona kwabanye kunye nemibono yabo. Futhi musa ukuthatha inkohliso yabo entliziyweni, kuba ubomi bakho buphela kuwe, kungekhona kwabanye.
Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukugcina umtshato ngesinye isizathu okanye enye, njani unokujongana nayo? Makhe sizame ukucinga ngendlela umtshato onokujonga ngayo, engayithandiyo.
Indlela yokwakha kabusha ubomi kunye nendoda ongayithandiyo
Uninzi lwabasetyhini abangathandi amadoda bahlala kwizingane ze-brakeradi, bethetha ukuba uyise uphezulu kunomntwana ongumntakwabo, kunye nothando phakathi kobawo noyise. Yaye ubudlelwane bomama nobaba abuchaphazeli abantwana nangayiphi na indlela. Le meko isoloko ilukhuni kwaye inzima, ekubeni ibhinqa, lizijonga njengexhoba, kwimeko enjalo ayivuyo kwaye ikhuthaze konke oku nje ngenxa yobomi obonwabileyo kubantwana.
Le ngxaki ebalulekileyo yeemeko ezinjalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, bobabini nonina bayathandeka ngokufanayo kumntwana. Ukuqhawula umtshato, ukukhathazeka kwengqondo, kunzima kakhulu ukuba abantwana bathathe. IiNoskandals, ezihlala zihlala endlwini, zibangela ukuba ingozi yomntwana ibe yingozi nakakhulu. Ukufihla abazali babo kubantwana babo ubudlelwane ngamanye amaxesha akunakwenzeka. Ewe, kwaye ngokusoloko iphoso lolwalamano lweentsapho ezingaphumeleli kwizinga elingaphantsi kwengqalelo lenziwa kubantwana. Kwaye kufuneka sicinge ukuba abantwana zizidalwa ezivelele kakhulu kwimeko yehlabathi langaphakathi loomama nootata kunye neengcinga zecala zihlala kuzo kwaye zingabashiyi kulo lonke ubomi babo.
Ibhinqa kufuneka ihlale ingqalelo ngenxa yokuba ayifuni ukutshabalalisa umtshato nomntu ongathandekiyo. Kuyimfuneko ukunciphisa i-scandals kwintsapho okanye isihogo esidalwe endlwini kwimeko enjalo, inokubangela ukuba abantwana bakho bangabantwana, mhlawumbi ubomi babo bonke. Ewe, ukuba awukwazi ukugwema i-scandals, kungcono ukunquma ngokuqhawula umtshato. Kwaye ukuba isigqibo esasifuneka sisithathe, asithethi ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi koonyana kufuneka bupheliswe ngokucoca. Kwenzeka ukuba emva koqhawulo-mtshato ootata banokukhangeka ngakumbi kubantwana babo kwaye ngoko bazame ukusindisa intsapho kuphela ngenxa yabantwana, njengoko le nzame ayiyi kubakho nantoni na.
Kwimeko apho usasetyenziselwa ubukho bendoda yakho engathandwa, kufuneka ucinge ngaloo nto, kodwa awuyithandi kakhulu? Kwaye ukuba impendulo isengalunganga, kuya kuba ngcono ukufihla into, uxoxe nomlingane wakho ukuze ugweme ukuqhukisana nokuxabana. Nangona umfazi onothando, umyeni wakhe uya kuxolelana ngento yokuba iimvakalelo zakhe azihambelani. Yaye imitshato enjalo iqhelekileyo.
Kukho iimeko xa umfazi, engamthandi umyeni wakhe, emthanda ngaye. Kwaye le meko ayiyodwa, kuba ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi akukho thando kwaye kuyimfuneko ukuba uphile kuphela ngenxa yenceba. Kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba uthando luthatha iintlobo ezahlukeneyo kwaye lunokubonakaliswa ngolu hlobo lwenkohlakalo. Yingakho xa kukho uthando olunjengekho, kodwa kunesihawu kuphela, cinga, mhlawumbi le nto ifom eyithandayo? Zama ukucinga ngobomi bakho ngaphandle kwakhe, ngaphandle kokungathandiyo nonke ... Ngaba le ntlungu ayibangela intlungu emphefumlweni? Yaye ukuba kunjalo, netak yonke imbi. Kwaye ngoku akusayi kuphuthuma ukuphakamisa umbuzo wokuba ufanelekile ukuqala ubomi bakho. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umkhwa nobomi baye badlala indima ekunciphiseni iimvakalelo, kwaye ukwenza imizamo yokubuyiselwa ngokutsha kuyimfuneko. Khumbula ukuba uthando oluhlala luhlala lulula.