Kutheni abafazi beshintsha? Yintoni ekusixhamlayo, ngabagcini bendlu, abafazi abathandekayo nabanomdla, oomama abanothando kunye nabanothando ngolu hlobo lokukhawuleza?
Izazinzulu, abalobi kunye nabaculi abazinikezele ngaphezu kwesinye kwisayensi yesayensi, umsebenzi, indalo kulo mbuzo. Abameli abaninzi abanobulili obuqinileyo bayaphazamiseka kule ngxaki. Kodwa impendulo, njengommiselo, kuxhomekeke kubo.
Yintoni umfazi efuna ukutshata? Yenza ngokukhawuleza ukuba le nqaku ayikho malunga neqela labadlali abahamba phambili abafuna nje ukunyuka kwe-adrenaline ukuze bazive ubunzima bobubomi okanye ubunjani babo abengazi ixabiso loluntu kunye nexabiso. Sithetha ngala mabhinqa, apho isigqibo sokutshintshela asiyikho into echazayo.
Inqanaba elikhulu phakathi kwabasetyhini abaye batshintsha yilabo abazange bafumane inkxaso nenkxaso evela kumadoda abo. Amadoda angokwemvelo ngokukrakra ukuveza iimvakalelo, kwaye ingqondo iyayiqonda le nto ngengqondo yesini esilungileyo, kodwa kunzima kangakanani ukuhlala kwimeko yokungabi nantoni, ukunyamekela, inkxaso, ekugqibeleni, inomdla kwinto eyenzeka ngobomi bowesifazane. Kwaye nangona kunjalo ukuba sithetha ngomntu osondeleyo kuye, owathi, nangona kungabikho kwezibophelelo zegazi, waba ngumthonyama-ngomyeni wakhe.
Ukuxhatshazwa emtshatweni kumncedisa ukungabikho kokubonakalisa uthando lwabantu, kunye nokwenqaba ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimicimbi yasekhaya kunye nokukhuliswa kwabantwana. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni umtshato uqala ukuthobela ngokungaphantsi komfazi obona umtshato nje njengoluhlu lwemisebenzi. Ukungabi noqhagamshelwano lomyeni kunye nomyeni wakhe kubangela ukuba umfazi amfune kumnye umlingane. Enyanisweni, isizathu esona sizathu sokungathembeki kwabasetyhini kukukhangela inkxaso yemoya. Oku kuboniswa ngophando olufanayo lwesayensi kule ndaba. Abaninzi abasabelayo baphawula ukuba ubudlelwane obutsha babanika uvuyo lokunxibelelana, ukuvakalelwa kobuhle babo kunye nomtsalane, ithuba lokufumana ixesha elingenakulibaleka, kunye nokubuyela kubo ngokwabo, bavumelekile ukuba babe nomdla wokwenene kubantu. Kodwa balala ngokwesini.
Ukunganeliseki ngokwesondo emtshatweni, ngokwenene, ukuma kwindawo yesibini phakathi kwezizathu ezibangela ukuba bahenyuze abafazi. Kwaye apha iphoso aliyonto kuphela yindoda engabonakali kakuhle kunye neentlupheko kwiimfuno zowesifazane, kodwa kunye nomfazi ongafuni ukuvuma kumntu onokunganeliseki okwangoku kwaye ulungisa ingxaki ngokufumana iqabane elitsha.
Kwindawo yesithathu phakathi kwezizathu zokungathembeki kwabasetyhini kukho impindezelo. Oku kwenzeka emva kokuba umfazi efumene ngokungcatsha komyeni wakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo ibhinqa lenza isigqibo ngokukhawuleza, ngaphantsi kwefuthe lokuba nomsindo kwaye ngenxa yomnqweno wokubuyisela umlingane kunye nengqekembe enye. Kodwa kwenzeka kwakhona ukuba umfazi uthatha isigqibo sokunyamezela imeko kwaye umxolele umyeni wakhe. Nangona kunjalo, nangona emva kwexesha elininzi, inxeba yengqondo ayilangazekanga, ukuzithemba komfazi kuyancipha kuncinci kwaye unquma ukuphindisela kumyeni wakhe ukuze aphinde abuyele. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku kunokukhokelela ekutshatweni komtshato, kuba apha ukungathembeki kwabasetyhini - ukuthobela umyeni wakhe okokugqibela. Ngengqiqo le ntokazi isele ifuna iqabane elitsha, kuba intlungu yokudumala kunye nentukuthelo emva kokuba isenzo somlingane singenakunqunyulwa. Ayikwazi ukuseka ubomi bentsapho emva kokungcatshiswa komyeni wakhe, ukumkela nokumxolela, uya kufuna umlingane omtsha wokuphila.
Isizathu esilandelayo kuleluhlu yintswelo entsha. Njengomthetho, isigqibo sokutshintsha umyeni ngenxa yothando olutsha lulandelwa ixesha elide lokuba nemvakalelo enzulu yecala. Ngamanye amaxesha nokuba nomva wecala lugqithise lo mzabalazo owenziwa emphefumlweni womfazi, kwaye uyayilahla into enokuyilungisa kunye nomthandekayo wakhe ngenxa yokugcina intsapho, intlalo yabantwana kunye nangenxa yokungahlanjululwa kwintsapho.
Ukuba sibuyela kwisayensi, ngoko-ke ezinye iipundits zithi isizathu sokuthengwa kwabasetyhini sihlala kwiijethi. Okokuthi, ukuba abaphambili kumgca wesetyhini banesono esinjalo, ngoko abameli belizukulwana esilandelayo bangabonisa ubuthathaka obufanayo. Ngokukodwa abasetyhini baxhomekeke ekuhlaselweni kwexesha kunye neentlobo zenzululwazi zisele zithetha, phantse malunga nempembelelo yendalo yokhetho ebonakalayo kuthi ngokwemvelo ngokwayo. Ibhinqa lingazicwanisi iindoda ezingcono kuneliseko. Kodwa ekubeni konke oku kuhlaziyileyo kwaye kungabonakali, abaninzi abameli bezocalulo zesini ngokufanelekileyo malunga nezigqibo kwaye bakhetha ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo ezibangelwa uhlanga.
Kukho izizathu ezininzi ezitshintshisa ibhinqa kwisenzo esinzulu: ukukhangwa ngokwesini kwindoda enye; ukungakwazi komyeni ukuba nabantwana; umona oqhubekayo ngomlingane ogqitywa ngumfazi ekugqibeleni; Imikhwa emibi yomyeni wayo, ngokukhula kancane ibe yi-mania; Ukungabi nhlonipho kumlingane; ubundlobongela ngengqondo kwintsapho; umnqweno wokufumana iimvakalelo ezintsha. Bangabonwa njengesizathu esibalulekileyo sokungqubuzana okanye kungekhona, kodwa konke kuxhomekeke ekubeni kubaluleke kangakanani kumfazi othe wanquma ukumkhaphela.