Ngoko ukuba umntu ngokukhawuleza eyeka ukuthetha kwaye ungumntakwenu, mhlawumbi unalo ixesha okanye ufuna nje ukuba yedwa kunye naye. Vumelanani, kuba ngamnye wethu kukho amaxesha obomi, xa ungafuni ukubona abantu abasondeleyo. Ngako oko, musa ukucaphukisa umntakwenu uze uphendule ngokukhawuleza. Wena ngokwenene uyamazi lo mntu ubomi bonke, kuthetha, uqonda ubunqununu bawo nobungqina.
Kodwa ukuba ubuhlungu umthandayo kwaye uyeka ukuthetha nawe, ngoko kufuneka ufike ngendlela yokwenza. Wonke umntu uyazi ukuba abantu abasondeleyo benza nzima kunabo bonke. Yingakho nayiphi na isenzo esivela kwisihlobo siya kuba nomsindo kwaye singathandeki kunokuba nje umntu oqhelekileyo. Khumbula oku njalo kwaye uzame ukubacaphukisa abo uyithandayo kwaye uyabathanda. Kodwa, ubuyele kwingxaki. Ngoko ke, ukuba uthe wamcaphukisa umzalwana, indlela efanelekileyo yokuphinda uqale ukuthetha. Nangona akayi kuthatha ifowuni, uye kuye kwaye uthethe naye malunga nayo yonke into. Abantu besizwe ngenxa yale nentsapho, ukuqonda nokuxolela. Umntakwenu uya kuxolelana, nangona ukuba unomsindo. Ngokulula, kukho abantu abasiqonda ngathi njengathi. Oku, okokuqala, intsapho. Into eyona nto loo nto yaqonda ukuba uyazisola ngokwenene into eyenzekayo kwaye uyazisola ngephutha lakho. Isizathu sokuxabana kufanele sibe nzima, kuba abantu abasondeleyo abaxabani. Kungenxa yoko, isicelo sokuxolelwa simele sibe nesinyanzelo kwaye sinentsingiselo kumzalwana wakho. Kule meko, uya kuba nako ukuqonda nokuxolela udade onyatha kwaye ubuhlobo bakho buya kuphinda bube ngcono.
Kwaye kufuneka kwenziwe ntoni xa umhlobo ongcono ukuyeka ukuthetha? Kunzima kakhulu ukudibanisa apha kunokuba kwimeko yokuqala. Ewe, ngokuqhelekileyo, abahlobo banjengabantakwabo kuthi, kodwa, nangona kunjalo, intsapho iyakhathazeka ngakumbi, kodwa ixolela ngokukhawuleza kwaye kulula. Abahlobo bokwenene baxabana kakhulu, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezintle. Yingakho ukuxolelana kubuhlungu kwaye bude ngokwaneleyo. Ukuba ufuna ukuxolelana nomhlobo, mnike ixesha lokushiya ekuxabaneni nokuzola. Ukuba unqamle ukuthetha, kukho into enzulu yenzekile kwaye umfana ngoku unalo ulwandle olunemizwa engalunganga kuwe. Ngoko zama ukuzityha kunye kunye ulinde kancane. Kodwa, ke, vumela umngane ukuba azive unetyala kwaye ufuna ukuxolisa, ulinde ixesha elifanelekileyo. Ungaze ushiye ingxaki ingaphendulwanga, njengoko iya kuvela ngaphezu kweyodwa, kwaye, ngokuthe ngcembe, iya kuhlaziywa. Kungoko, nangona kwiintsuku ezimbalwa okanye iiveki yonke into ibonakala ilibalekile, zama ukuthetha nomhlobo wakho. Into eyona nto kukuba ingxoxo kufuneka ibe yakhayo, kwaye ingabi yintsholongwane ibe yinto enye. Abahlobo abanqabana kakhulu, kodwa baxolelana nobunzima obukhulu. Ngoko ke, yenza konke umzamo wokufumana impumelelo. Zama ukudlulisela kumhlobo ubunzulu beengxaki kunye neengcebiso zakho malunga nesisombululo sakho. Kakade, kukude nokuba unokuthetha ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa, nokuba kukho ukuhlaselwa, emva kokuba yonke imvakalelo ikhutshwe ngaphandle, kufuneka uguqule imeko yonke ibe ngumzila onokwakha. Kule meko, uvakalisa zonke iimvakalelo, unokucinga malunga neengxelo kwaye uphendule ngokuzenzekelayo yonke into. Abahlobo basoloko beyazi kakuhle kakuhle ukuba bangaziqondi kwaye baxolele. Zama uzame ukulibala kwaye ukhumbuze umhlobo wakho. Ukuba unetyala, vuma unetyala uze ucele ukuxolelwa. Ukuba imeko leyo ingquzulwano - jongana kunye kwaye uqaphele iimpazamo zakho kunye nokufaneleka komdlali wakho. Naluphi na umquzulwano unokuphelelwa ngamandla, ukuba ulungiswe ngokufanelekileyo kulo.
Eyona ndlela yokugqibela yimeko xa umntu obathandayo engafuni ukuthetha nawe. Apha, mhlawumbi, kunzima kakhulu ukuya kuxolelana. Umthandana usondela kwaye uyathandeka kuthi. Kungenxa yoko, ukuba uyayeka ukuthetha, kunokuthetha izinto ezimbini kuphela: wayeke ukuthanda kwaye ngaloo ndlela uzama ukulahla okanye umcaphukisa kangangokuthi akafuni ukumbona ukuba angamphulaphuli umntu owamzisela intlungu. Kwimeko yokuqala, akunakwenzeka ukuba ukwazi ukwenza into ethile. Ukuthotywa kunye nezicelo aziyi kubuya uthando. Uza kuwela kuphela emehlweni omfana, kwaye uya kuyeka ngokumalunga nawe. Kodwa ukuba kwenzeka njalo ukuba ukhumbule umntu othanda wena ekujuleni komphefumlo wakho, ngoko kuyaphuthuma ukuthatha amanyathelo anokukunceda wenze uxolo. Kakade, oku akulula nje ukuthetha. Kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba yena ngokwakhe waphula iinkuni, kufuneka ucinga kwaye ukhangele indlela yokulungisa ngayo.
Okokuqala, kufuneka uzame ukuthetha nokuxoxa ngale meko. Mhlawumbi unokumkholisa loo mntu ukususela ngexesha elide ukuba uxoxise kakhulu into eyenzekayo kwaye uya kwenza konke okusemandleni kwaye akunakwenzeka ukukhusela oku kungenzeki kwakhona. Zama ukumtshela kanye loo mazwi angadlulisela kumntu wonke uthando lwakho kunye nokuzisola. Ndiqinisekile ukuba uyazi kakuhle ukuba uqonde ukuba unyanisekile kwaye kukubuhlungu kangakanani ukuba umcaphukise. Kodwa, ewe, kunokwenzeka ukuba okokuqala ngangoko akayi kukholwa kwaye akayi kuxolela. Emva koko kufuneka uqhubeke nokulwa, kodwa ungabikho nto. Ufuna ukubuyela kwindawo yakhe, kwaye ungayifumani ukuze afune ukukubona nonke. Ngoko ke, mnike ixesha lokupholisa phantsi kwaye ucinge ngamazwi akho. Musa ukubiza njalo ucele uxolo. Ngokulula, ngezihlandlo uzikhumbuze ngokwakho, malunga nendlela othanda ngayo nendlela yokubeka ityala. Qinisekisa amagama akho ngezenzo kwaye ke, mhlawumbi, mhlawumbi, kamva, umfana uya kulahla, ngokuba uthando, nangona kunjalo, luphumelela konke ukulimaza nokulimala.
Kwimeko nayiphi na into, ukuba umntu ngokukhawuleza wayeke ukuthetha, ngoko into ebudlelwaneni bakho ayinjalo, nayiphi na uhlobo. Cinga ngako, hlalutya zonke iziganeko nokuziphatha kwendoda, kunye lakho. Kule ndlela kuphela uya kukwazi ukuqonda intsingiselo yenkinga kwaye wenze isigqibo esinokukunceda ufumane indlela yokuphuma kule meko.