ihlala ingaphendulwanga kwaye ekugqibeleni ikhula ibe ngumbuzo: "ukugcina umtshato ongonwabileyo okanye umtshato ungcono?".
Ubomi obudibeneyo ngumsebenzi onzima. Kubalulekile ukuthetha nazo zonke izibophelelo kwisisombululo semibandela enjalo. Ewe, kwindawo yokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukufumana ukuba isiqingatha sesibini sicinga ngani. Zama ukuqonda imeko kunye. Kungenzeka ukuba lakho iqabane lijongene nolunye uhlobo lwengxaki engaphakathi, mhlawumbi uneengxaki zempilo okanye ngomsebenzi. Ngenxa yoko, kunokubekwa eceleni, ukucaphuka, ukuziphatha kakubi. Abanye abantu abathandanga ukwabelana ngamava abo, abanye abawabona njengabathandwayo. Yilumkele isiqingatha sakho, kwaye mhlawumbi, ingxaki yokugcina umtshato ongenakuvuyela okanye umtshato uya kulahla ngokwawo. Sekunjalo, ixesha elihlala ndawonye akulona lixesha elibi kakhulu ebomini bakho?
Kwabanye, umtshato ongonwabanga luhlobo lweentambo, "idyokhwe entanyeni." Ngoko, ngokwenene, kuyafaneleka ukuba sicinge ukuba ngaba ufuna ukuqhubeka lo buhlobo. Umanyano wokuzikhethela wabantu abakhulu bakhululekile unethuba elikhulu lokuhlala ixesha elide kunomtshato wokulungelelanisa okanye ukubaluleka. Kodwa le meko ayikho ithemba. Ukuba amabini omabini angafumana ixesha elihle, okanye azuze ngokwabo kule nyunyana, emva koko umtshato, njengendlela yokusombulula ingxaki, kuya kubonakala ingekho indlela efanelekileyo yokuphuma kule meko. Ekugqibeleni, unokuza ngokuvumelana ngokuvumelana. Kukho abantu, ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda afuna ukuziva ekhululekile. Kufuneka baqiniseke ukuba banokushiya nanini na ukuba bafuna. Kwaye le ntembelo ebenza bahlale esondele kumlingane. Kunzima ukuhlala nabantu abanjalo, kodwa kuyathakazelisa. Kukho rhoqo umlinganiselo othile we-adrenaline, kunye nengcamango yokuvelisa. Ukuba uyaqonda, le yindlela efanelekileyo yokugcina umtshato.
Kucacile ukuba emva kwexesha ubukhali beemvakalelo kunye nemibono ukusondelana komntu othandekayo. Iingxaki zomndeni ziwonakalisa iimoya zesithandane, imihla ngemihla ikhuphe ukuvakalelwa kwemizwa. Yilapho ixesha lifika xa bobabini abatshatileyo bengaswelekanga. Kukhona umnqweno wokungena emkhatsini omhle wokudlala ngothando kunye nokuthandana kwakhona. Luhlobo lomvavanyo lomtshato wakho. Ukuba uya kuqonda, ngaba uya kudibana, okanye udonga ngokwakho kwisiqingatha sakho nodonga lokungakhathaleli kwaye uqale ukuhlala ubomi bakho. Kuze, ekugqibeleni, ungagqiba ekubeni kungcono ukuqhawula umtshato, ukuphinda uphendule elwandle lolonwabo lwamahhala. Kwaye kutheni ndifuna ukuchitha ixesha ndikhangele amava amatsha? Khangela kufuphi nawe sele unomntu oye wafunda ngokufanelekileyo. Uyazi into onokuyilindela kuye, uyazi iimpawu zakhe, ubuthathaka, izinto ezithandayo. Zama ukudlala kuyo. Tshintshe ngokwakho, utshintshe imo, utshintshe umfanekiso. Kancinci, iqabane lakho liya kutsalwa kumdlalo owawuqalile. Ngothukile, uya kufumana iimpawu zakhe ezintsha, ezingazange zikhankanywe. Awuyi kuphumula kuphela kwaye uyakuzonwabisa, uya kukwazi ukuphepha umtshato, gcina into endiyithandayo. Oku kuncedo ngakumbi kunokuba uqale ukusuka ekuqaleni.
Ukulondoloza umtshato yintsebenziswano yabini bobabini. Kufuneka sivavanye ngenyameko imeko yangoku. Ewe, kukho iimeko xa umtshato ongonwabi ungakulungi ukugcina. Konke kuxhomekeke kubantu. Ngaphambi kokuthatha isigqibo sokwenza okuthile, amaxesha asixhenxe ukulinganisa. Ngamanye amaxesha umele ufune ikhefu omnye komnye, ixesha elide, ulinganise yonke into. Akuyimfuneko ukuba le ndawo ihlale kwindawo ezahlukeneyo. Unokwenza nje ukuzama ukuguqula ubudlelwane kumsongane onobungane. Yeka ukuthukuthelana, ukwenza amabango. Asiqapheli ukuba sigxininisa kwizinto eziphathekayo. Ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza, le nto yinto enokuthi ibe yimbungu, ingabonakali kakuhle i-apula enhle yothando phakathi. Zama ukuba nomusa komnye nomnye, kwaye mhlawumbi akuyikho yonke into elahlekileyo, into eyenza ukuba ukhe ukhethe kuwo wonke lo mntu.