Ukwahlukana kuya kwenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, kodwa nawuphi na umntwana uhlangabezana nayo. Xa eqonda ukuba uyise nomama abayi kuhlala kunye, ihlabathi lomntwana liya kuqubuka. Okubaluleke kunabo bonke ukuqhawula abazali abavalelwa ngabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-15. Iingcali zengqondo zibonisa ukuba ngunyaka wokuqala, amabini amantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe abonisa ukuziphatha okungazinzi, ukuxhalaba kunye nobudlova kuqhathaniswa nabantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezipheleleyo. Unzima kakhulu ukuqhawula umtshato. Iintsholongwane zisoloko zinobudlova, zingalawulekiyo, zibonisa ukuxhalaba, ukulahleka kokuzithiba, zithwaxwa yi-sleepiness and neuroses. Abazali abaninzi abaqapheli kude kube sekupheleni ukuba luhlobo luni lwengqondo echaphazela abantwana ngokuqhawula umtshato. Into ephambili kwimeko yangoku, ukuseka ubudlelwane nentombazana emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ungaphuthelwa kulolu hlobo lwenxibelelwano esondeleyo oludibeneyo. Ukugcina ulwalamano nomntwana luhambelana, kufuneka ukwazi izinto ezimbalwa ezibalulekileyo:
Ungalokothi ugcine umntwana efihlakele umtshato ozayo, njengoko oku kuholele ekuxinzeleleni okukhulu kumntwana ngenxa yesiphumo sokumangalisa.
Ungalokothi ufune ukuthukisa nokuhlambalaza ebusweni bomntwana, ukuhlambalazana, nangaphezulu, ukuba ngaba abazali banquma ukusabalalisa, akukho mfuneko yokucacisa isizathu kuye ukuba akafuni ukumazi. Akunakwenzeka ukuba umntwana uya kuvuya ukuva malunga nokunyaniseka okanye malunga nothando oluye lwashiya ubomi bakho bomtshato. Umntwana unokuthi uyise uhamba, kodwa uya kuthi, ngokuphindaphindiweyo uza kuwe aze aqhubeke emthanda kakhulu.
Ungamvumeli umntwana wakho ukuba adibane noyise, ekhuthaze isenzo sakho ngento yokuba uyise ulungile, ukuba kufuneka axoshwe, kuba ngaphandle kwakhe kulunge ngakumbi. Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni, umntwana wakho uyaqhubeka emthanda uyise njengoko ngaphambili. Ubawo ushiya wena, kungekhona intombi okanye unyana. Ukongezelela, ngaphandle kokuqonda oku, ubeka umntwana wakho kuqala kukuchasa, njengoko uya kucinga kwaye akugwebe ngokushiya kwakhe, kwaye ujonge ukuba unobungozi kwaye unetyala kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo.
Musa ukumenza umntwana akhethe phakathi kwakho, umxelele ukuba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo noyise bukungcatsha. Kuye oku kukhetho olubalulekileyo kunobomi. Sidinga ukumnceda ukuba ajamelane nale ngxaki, kwaye angamngezi ezintsha. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba ukuthetha rhoqo kunye nompapa kubaluleke kakhulu kumntwana, kwaye kumnceda ukuba abuyele ngokukhawuleza.
Musa ukumphoqa ukuba ahlolisise uyise okanye abe nemfihlelo evela kuye. Musa ukumbuza umntwana, ekubuyeni kwakhe kubawo, oko bakuthethayo, ukuba ufuna-yena ngokwakhe uya kuthetha ngako konke.
Musa ukumfumbathisa umntwana ngegama elithi "Uyabona, ubaba akazange avumele ukuba uthenge, kodwa ngomso ndiya kuthenga." Abantwana baziziva becala ukuba baphathwa. Ngaphezu koko, ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyaqonda ukuba unokukusebenzisa, uya kusebenzisa ngokufanelekileyo eli thuba. Futhi ukubuyisela igunya lakho kwakhona kuya kuba nzima.
Hlalani ninyaniseka naye. Ukwenza ubudlelwane kunye nentombazana esondeleyo kunye neyimfihlo kuyinto enzima, kwaye emva kokuqhawula umtshato - kunzima nakakhulu. Umntwana udla ngokuthintana namava ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato wakho, izifo ezinjengezintsholongwane, ukukhathala, ukuxinezeleka, i-gastritis, i-eczema kunye nokugquma kungabonakala. Yiba yinkxaso kuye, unomdla kwiimvakalelo zakhe kunye namava.
Nangona amava akho, ungalokothi ulibale ngomntwana. Xoxa naye rhoqo, hamba naye ukuhamba epakini, okanye ukuyothenga, yenza konke ukuze umntwana wakho angaziva elahliwe. Khumbula ukuba umsebenzi wakho ukuseka ubudlelwane nentombazana emva kokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokuncedisa nokumxhasa.
Khumbula ukuba ukuba yonke impilo yakho eyaziwayo iya kuhlala ixelela intombi yakho ukuba bonke abafana abasazi ukuba bangakha njani ubudlelwane kunye nothando lokwenene, ubunzima bokuba ubomi bakho bentombi abuyi kukhula kakhulu. Emva koko, uya kuba nexhala kwaye ukhathazeke kukuba ubuhlobo bakhe kunye nokwakho, buya kuphelela ekuhlulekeni. Kufuneka uhlale utshilo kuye: "Uyihlo kunye nathi asizange sisebenze - uya kuphumelela ngokuqinisekileyo".
Ngethuba lokuqhawula umtshato umntwana uyenzeka, kunzima ngokwaneleyo ukugxila kwizikolo esikolweni. Unokuba ngumngcipheko kwaye ungathandeki kwibala lokudlala, ube yinto ekhethileyo kunye nohlobo lwabahlobo bakhe. Kwimeko enjalo, kufuneka uxoxe naye, cacisa ukuba konke kwenzeka malunga nokuqhawula umtshato, ukuba akuyiyo iposiso yakhe ukuba into ayisebenziyo. Ixesha liya kudlula kwaye yonke into iya kuguqulwa ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ukuze uqalise ubudlelwane nomntwana emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ukwanele ukuba ube naye, ukumxhasa, ukuthetha ngokuthe rhoqo ngothando lwakho nothando lwakhe, ukucacisa kuye ukuba, nangona uqhawule umtshato, uya kuhlala ehlala kuwe kunye noyise umntwana ozithandayo.
Okubaluleke kunabo bonke ukuqhawula abazali abavalelwa ngabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-15. Iingcali zengqondo zibonisa ukuba ngunyaka wokuqala, amabini amantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe abonisa ukuziphatha okungazinzi, ukuxhalaba kunye nobudlova kuqhathaniswa nabantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezipheleleyo. Unzima kakhulu ukuqhawula umtshato. Iintsholongwane zisoloko zinobudlova, zingalawulekiyo, zibonisa ukuxhalaba, ukulahleka kokuzithiba, zithwaxwa yi-sleepiness and neuroses. Abazali abaninzi abaqapheli kude kube sekupheleni ukuba luhlobo luni lwengqondo echaphazela abantwana ngokuqhawula umtshato. Into ephambili kwimeko yangoku, ukuseka ubudlelwane nentombazana emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ungaphuthelwa kulolu hlobo lwenxibelelwano esondeleyo oludibeneyo. Ukugcina ulwalamano nomntwana luhambelana, kufuneka ukwazi izinto ezimbalwa ezibalulekileyo:
Ungalokothi ugcine umntwana efihlakele umtshato ozayo, njengoko oku kuholele ekuxinzeleleni okukhulu kumntwana ngenxa yesiphumo sokumangalisa.
Ungalokothi ufune ukuthukisa nokuhlambalaza ebusweni bomntwana, ukuhlambalazana, nangaphezulu, ukuba ngaba abazali banquma ukusabalalisa, akukho mfuneko yokucacisa isizathu kuye ukuba akafuni ukumazi. Akunakwenzeka ukuba umntwana uya kuvuya ukuva malunga nokunyaniseka okanye malunga nothando oluye lwashiya ubomi bakho bomtshato. Umntwana unokuthi uyise uhamba, kodwa uya kuthi, ngokuphindaphindiweyo uza kuwe aze aqhubeke emthanda kakhulu.
Ungamvumeli umntwana wakho ukuba adibane noyise, ekhuthaze isenzo sakho ngento yokuba uyise ulungile, ukuba kufuneka axoshwe, kuba ngaphandle kwakhe kulunge ngakumbi. Emva kwakho konke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni, umntwana wakho uyaqhubeka emthanda uyise njengoko ngaphambili. Ubawo ushiya wena, kungekhona intombi okanye unyana. Ukongezelela, ngaphandle kokuqonda oku, ubeka umntwana wakho kuqala kukuchasa, njengoko uya kucinga kwaye akugwebe ngokushiya kwakhe, kwaye ujonge ukuba unobungozi kwaye unetyala kuyo yonke into eyenzekayo.
Musa ukumenza umntwana akhethe phakathi kwakho, umxelele ukuba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo noyise bukungcatsha. Kuye oku kukhetho olubalulekileyo kunobomi. Sidinga ukumnceda ukuba ajamelane nale ngxaki, kwaye angamngezi ezintsha. Kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba ukuthetha rhoqo kunye nompapa kubaluleke kakhulu kumntwana, kwaye kumnceda ukuba abuyele ngokukhawuleza.
Musa ukumphoqa ukuba ahlolisise uyise okanye abe nemfihlelo evela kuye. Musa ukumbuza umntwana, ekubuyeni kwakhe kubawo, oko bakuthethayo, ukuba ufuna-yena ngokwakhe uya kuthetha ngako konke.
Musa ukumfumbathisa umntwana ngegama elithi "Uyabona, ubaba akazange avumele ukuba uthenge, kodwa ngomso ndiya kuthenga." Abantwana baziziva becala ukuba baphathwa. Ngaphezu koko, ngokukhawuleza ukuba uyaqonda ukuba unokukusebenzisa, uya kusebenzisa ngokufanelekileyo eli thuba. Futhi ukubuyisela igunya lakho kwakhona kuya kuba nzima.
Hlalani ninyaniseka naye. Ukwenza ubudlelwane kunye nentombazana esondeleyo kunye neyimfihlo kuyinto enzima, kwaye emva kokuqhawula umtshato - kunzima nakakhulu. Umntwana udla ngokuthintana namava ngenxa yokuqhawula umtshato wakho, izifo ezinjengezintsholongwane, ukukhathala, ukuxinezeleka, i-gastritis, i-eczema kunye nokugquma kungabonakala. Yiba yinkxaso kuye, unomdla kwiimvakalelo zakhe kunye namava.
Nangona amava akho, ungalokothi ulibale ngomntwana. Xoxa naye rhoqo, hamba naye ukuhamba epakini, okanye ukuyothenga, yenza konke ukuze umntwana wakho angaziva elahliwe. Khumbula ukuba umsebenzi wakho ukuseka ubudlelwane nentombazana emva kokuqhawula umtshato kunye nokuncedisa nokumxhasa.
Khumbula ukuba ukuba yonke impilo yakho eyaziwayo iya kuhlala ixelela intombi yakho ukuba bonke abafana abasazi ukuba bangakha njani ubudlelwane kunye nothando lokwenene, ubunzima bokuba ubomi bakho bentombi abuyi kukhula kakhulu. Emva koko, uya kuba nexhala kwaye ukhathazeke kukuba ubuhlobo bakhe kunye nokwakho, buya kuphelela ekuhlulekeni. Kufuneka uhlale utshilo kuye: "Uyihlo kunye nathi asizange sisebenze - uya kuphumelela ngokuqinisekileyo".
Ngethuba lokuqhawula umtshato umntwana uyenzeka, kunzima ngokwaneleyo ukugxila kwizikolo esikolweni. Unokuba ngumngcipheko kwaye ungathandeki kwibala lokudlala, ube yinto ekhethileyo kunye nohlobo lwabahlobo bakhe. Kwimeko enjalo, kufuneka uxoxe naye, cacisa ukuba konke kwenzeka malunga nokuqhawula umtshato, ukuba akuyiyo iposiso yakhe ukuba into ayisebenziyo. Ixesha liya kudlula kwaye yonke into iya kuguqulwa ngokuqinisekileyo.
Ukuze uqalise ubudlelwane nomntwana emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ukwanele ukuba ube naye, ukumxhasa, ukuthetha ngokuthe rhoqo ngothando lwakho nothando lwakhe, ukucacisa kuye ukuba, nangona uqhawule umtshato, uya kuhlala ehlala kuwe kunye noyise umntwana ozithandayo.