Ngaba ndiya kuqiniseka ngakumbi kumama?
Sinezizathu ezifanelekileyo zokuphendula kwi-affirmative. Ukuba uhlala uxhalabele ngomntwana wokuqala, uhlale uzibuza esithi "Ngaba ndenza into efanelekileyo?", "Ngaba iyakudla ngokwaneleyo?", Okwesibini kuya kukhula kwimeko engqongqo. Usuyazi "amaninzi" emfundo, uhlalutye iimpazamo zabo. Nangona kunjalo, akusiyo yonke into eyenziwa ngokulula, ngaphandle koko, kufuneka uqwalasele ezinye iimpawu zentsana yakho: isimo sakhe sengqondo, umlinganiso, isondo, isikhundla phakathi kwabanye abantwana bakho ... Ukuxhalabisa kungaphakamisa iingcamango malunga nendawo owaye ehlala kwintsapho: ukuba unomntwana "inombolo ezimbini", unokuzibonakalisa ngakumbi emva kokuzalwa komntwana wesibini kwaye uya kuqonda kakuhle iimpawu zayo. Kwaye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukuba wawungumntwana wokuqala kwintsapho yabazali, unokuqonda kakuhle amava omntwana omdala.
Ngaba umntwana wesibili ufumana ubudlelwane bomtshato?
Umngcipheko wokuphula ulwalamano uhambelana ngokutsha nokuzalwa komntwana wokuqala. Ngokubonakala kwakhe, imeko yentsapho iyatshintsha ngokukhawuleza, oko kusenza sicinge ngathi njengabazali, unemibuzo emitsha kunye noxanduva. Nangona kunjalo, ezinye iibinibini zisasaqala ukuxabana emva kokuzalwa komntwana wesibini. "Kule meko, ukuhlukana kwakusekuhleleni," kukho uhlobo olukhethekileyo lwezibini, kunye nomngcipheko wesithuba, xa eso sibini "sinobudlelwane bokubambisana, sinokuqinela." Ngabo abo bathi: "Ndenze okungaphezu kwakho, sidibana nentsapho yakho ngaphezu kweyam." Kodwa isibini esinezingane, ukuba isibini siza kuhlala kunye, sinokudlulisa le ngxabano kubantwana babo, njengesibuko. Umngcipheko ukwanda xa umzali ngamnye echaza ngomntwana othile, uyithatha phantsi kwephiko lakhe kwaye uyamnyamekela. Le yinto ebizwa ngokuba yi "pet syndrome". "Kwiimeko ezinjalo, ngamnye umzali ubonakala egxininisa isikhundla sakhe, uvakalelwa kukuba akaye wedwa, ukuba uvikela izithakazelo kungekuphela kwakhe, kodwa nangomntwana. Oku kunokukhokelela ekudibaneni okuvulelekileyo kwimbini, ibe yinjongo. "
Ndifuna umntwana wesibini, kodwa akayi ... Ngaba kufuneka ndibeke uxinzelelo kuye?
Iilindi zezilwanyana zezilwanyana azihambisani kakhulu newashiloji ye-biological satellites. Ukhulelwa umntwana kunye. Ukwenza oku ngqongqo kuya kuba ngumngcipheko, kuba ubunzima obuncinane buya kuwela ukuhlambalaza. "Kungcono ukuba usapho olomeleleyo nomntwana omnye kunokuba ubone indlela olwalamano lwakho lusehla ngayo. Ngaphandle koko, unokuya kwimeko engafanelekanga: kunjalo, umntwana wakho omdala uza kuba nomntwazana omncinci, kodwa ... ngenxa yoko, ubeka ingozi ekulahlekeni ukukhuseleka nokukhuseleka kwengqondo. "
Ngaba ukuzalwa kwesibini akuyi kuba vavanyo olunzima kwi-aircraft?
Ngokufika komntwana wesibini, uya kuyeka ukuba ngowakho ixesha elide ... Nangona kunjalo, ezi nkxalabo ziyinxalenye yendalo yemfanelo yabazali bakho. Kuhlala kuphela ukulungiselela oku. Ngokuzalwa komntwana, uya kuqaphela ukuba uya kucela uncedo oluvela kwintsapho yakho enkulu, ngakumbi ootatomkhulu.
Abantwana ababini - umsebenzi ophindwe kathathu?
Yinyaniso! Okokuqala, ukukhathala yingxaki ebalulekileyo kubo bonke oomama. Ngenxa yoko, oogqirha banqwenela ukulinda iminyaka emibini, ngeli thuba umzimba uya kubuyiselwa ngokupheleleyo. Ukukhathala kuyanciphisa umyinge wokunyamezela kwimbini, ebangela ukuba abantu baxabane. Okwesibini, abantwana baninzi ngaphezu kwe-1 + 1, kuya kufuneka unqume umbuzo othi "ubudlelwane babantu" phakathi kwabo: ukuphikisana, ukuxabana, umona, kwaye oku kunzima kunokuthenga, umzekelo, i-diapers ephindwe kabini neebhotile.
Ngaba kukho ukuhluka kwexesha elifanelekileyo phakathi koonyana ababini?
"Wonke umda wobudala unobuncwane. Ukuba, umzekelo, umise kwiminyaka engama-4 ehlukeneyo, kuya kubakho ubuhlobo kunye noxhathiso phakathi kwabantwana. Baza kuba nethuba lokufunda indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nabadala kunye noontanga, kuya kuba lula ukuba bavumelane namaqela abantwana. Kwaye kukho ukuphakama okuphakamileyo ukuba baya kuba ngabahlobo bomntu ubomi xa unika ingqalelo kunye nokunyamekela kokubili. "
Kwaye ngaphezu kweminyaka emi-5-6?
Okokuqala, unokuba nethemba lokuba umntwana omdala uza kuba nexesha elide lokuhlala ngumntwana, oko kuthetha ukuba kulula ukuwamkela umntakwenu okanye udade wakho aze abe novelwano lobubele. Nangona kunjalo, ngokwenene, ukumkelwa komzalwana omncinci akuchaphazeli "umgangatho wothando". Kwaye uneminyaka engama-7 ubudala umntwana unokuba nomona ngusana olusandul 'ukuzalwa kwaye alubonakalise ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Abanye oomama, banamathele ngakumbi kumntwana ngokomzwelo, bakhetha ukuqala ukuzonwabisa ngokugcwele kunye nomntwana omdala, ngaphambi kokuqala ukucwangcisa umntwana wesibini.
Ngaba umntwana omdala uya kundicaphukisa?
Ewe, kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba uya kukuthanda kakhulu. Kwenzeka ukuba amantombazana amancinci, phantsi kweempembelelo zenkathazo, ayenomona ngomama okhulelwe. Kodwa ukuba uyayinyamekela iminqweno kunye neemvakalelo zomntwana omdala, kuya kuba lula ukuba akwazi ukujamelana necala lakhe. "Kunengqiqo ukulungiselela umntwana omdala ngenye entsha, mxelele ngeenzuzo zomdala, uthi uyamthanda kakhulu kwaye uya kubulela ukuba ufuna ukukunceda umntwana. Musa ukuxelela umntwana omdala: "Ngoku ungumdala kwaye kufuneka undincede kuyo yonke into!" Le yiphutha elikhulu, kwaye ngamagama abangela umntwana ukuba acaphuke. Wenze isigqibo ngokuzalwa komntwana wakho wesibini; Nangona umdala akubuza ngale nto, akakwazi ukuqonda yonke imiphumo yokubonakala komntwana. Yiba nesixanduva kwisigqibo sakho kwaye ungayitshintshi kumntwana. Emva koko izithuko ziya kuba ngaphantsi. Umntwana omdala uya kuthatha omncinci aze aqale ukukunceda. "
Ngaba ndimele ndilinde umntwana ngamnye ukuba abe negumbi?
Ngokufanelekileyo, kufanelekile. Enyanisweni, wonke umntu kufuneka abe nesithuba sakhe somntu , ingakumbi umdala, ongafaneleki ukunyamezela "ukungena" kwintsana yakhe kwintsimi yakhe. Kodwa oku akukhawulezi. Isigulana sesifuba sinokulala lula kwikona yakhe encinci kwiinyanga ezintathu okanye ezine. Kamva, xa ekhula, ungamdlulisela kwigumbi lomntwana omdala, ngokuxhomekeke ekubeni "ukumakisha ummandla" ngamnye ngesahlulo. Kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba umntwana omncinci akangena ngaphandle kwemvume kwintsimi yomdala.
Ndiyesaba ukumngcatsha umntwana wokuqala, sele ndibelethe okwesibili ...
Awunakukhathazeka ngale nto. Wonke umntwana, xa ezalwa, uyazithanda yena ngendlela yakhe. Akayena mntwana omnye, kwaye asikho abazali abafanayo kuye. "Kulo lonke ixesha lokuzalwa, umama akafanele acinge ngendlela yokuhlukanisa ikhekhe kwiindawo ezilinganayo, kodwa ukupheka entsha, ukusuka kwezinye izixhobo: ukunyaniseka, ukunyamezela, ukumangaliswa. Bangaphi abantwana, iintlobo ezininzi zothando. " Uloyiko lokungcatsha komntwana wokuqala luqala ukuphazamisa oomama kungekudala kwaye luqhelekile! Kodwa umntwana omdala, njengo "kumkani omncinci", uhlala kwindawo yakhe, into ephosakeleyo, kuba kungekudala okanye kamva uya kukhuphisana nabanye abantwana. Into enye yinyani: uya kuba nexesha elingaphantsi komnye kunye nomnye umntwana, kwaye ngokukodwa uselula uza kuchitha onke amandla akho. Umntu ophezulu ngeli xesha unokuhlala namanye amalungu omndeni. "Ngamanye amaxesha abazali becinga ukuba bafanele bachithe ixesha labo kunye nomntwana, kodwa le yiphutha elikhulu. Umntwana okokuqala, kubaluleke ukuba ixesha abazali abachithayo naye libhekiswe kuye kunye neminqweno yakhe-ubuncinane isiqingatha seyure ngosuku.
Ndiyesaba ukuba umdala akayi kumthanda umntakwabo okanye udadewabo ...
Mhlawumbi uya kuthi kuwe: "Andiyithandi, uyingozi kwaye ayibi!" Makhe akhulume, endaweni yokukhawuleza. Yithi: "Ewe, ndiyayivakalela iimvakalelo zakho kwaye andinakukwenza ukuba uthande iimvumba. Kodwa kufuneka uyiphathise ngenhlonipho. " Ngokuphathelele umona, awukwazi ukuphetshwa, kodwa unokunciphisa ububanzi bamandla akho. "Imindeni apho ubukhwele bubonakala khona yilapho omnye wabazali okanye bobabini bafumana khona ebuntwaneni babo. Inzondelelo xa abazali bebona kwangaphambili kwaye besaba: oku kuyimeko yokungaboni kakuhle. Izipho zokubala, i-caresses, njl njl, zivela kule mpawu. " Nangona kunjalo, iingcaphephe zengqondo zibonisa ukuba abantwana bahlala belwa kuphela kubazali babo ukuba babandakanyeke kwimpikiswano ... Kubalulekile ukuxelela abantwana ukuba ubomi abuhlali buhle! Ikhwele liyakhuthaza kakhulu umntwana ukuba enze into engcono. Ukungabi nomona, ngokuchasene noko, kubangele ukukhathazeka. Umntwana ubonisa ukuba uyavuya, wenza oko abazali bakhe balindele ukuba akwenze, kwaye unzulu emphefumlweni wakhe. Emva koko unako "ukubonakalisa" umona ngenye indlela, umzekelo, ngoncedo lwesifo, esona sibi kakhulu!
Ingaba umntwana omdala akayi kuhlaziywa?
Omnye kufuneka alindele ezimbini iintlobo zokuziphatha komdala: ingaba uqala ukukopisha ngokupheleleyo ukuziphatha kweemvumba (bhala ebhedeni, ukukhala, cela ibhotile), okanye uqale ukudlala "omdala omdala", ukukopisha ngokupheleleyo ukuziphatha kwabazali. Ingqalelo: akufuneki ukuba umntwana akhule ngokukhawuleza. "Abanye abantwana baphuthuma ngokukhawuleza kwiimeko" kancinci "okanye" umama omncane ", xa beba badala, benqabe ukuba nabantwana. Yingakho abantwana bamele bahlale bengabantwana. " "Ukukhetha uhlobo lokuziphatha komntwana omdala kuxhomekeke kakhulu ekuphatheni kwabazali. Kwimeko apho abazali batshintshela ngokupheleleyo kumntwana omncinci, umdala angaqala ukuziphatha njengento encinci (le ngqungquthela ibizwa ngokuthi "ukunyanzeliswa") ukuze ufumane ingqwalasela kunye nokunyamekela. Kubalulekile ukufumana "intsingiselo yegolide", hlawula ingqwalaselo eyaneleyo kubantwana babini. Kwimeko yesibini, xa umntwana omdala eqala ukuziphatha njengomntu omdala omncinci, mncede akhumbule ukuba ngokwenene ungumntwana, mnike ithuba lokuphila ngokupheleleyo ebuntwaneni bakhe kwaye akhule kancane kancane. "