Eli lixesha eliyingozi kakhulu ebomini bamadoda - iminyaka engama-40-50. Kule minyaka uqala ukuqokelela iziphumo zobomi, maxa wambi zibonakala zididekile. Abantu abaninzi banokugqiba ukuba ubukho bulahlekelwe yintsimi, kwaye uzama ukufumana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, amadoda athola inkululeko kwisihlomelo esitsha-yobudala beminyaka inani eliphezulu lokukrexeza. Okwangoku, bambalwa kakhulu abagqibayo ngomtshato omtsha ...
Ukuziphatha komntu otshatileyo emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane kuthethwa yinkathazo yobudala obuphakathi. Phantse yonke intsapho yazibonela ngezinga elithile. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo, indoda "iidenge". Omnye wada wathatha i sutukesi waza washiya. Enyanisweni, inkoliso yazo i-suitcase emva komnyango yabeka umfazi olimele xa efumanisa ukuba idemon yayikhonkcele. Kwaze ...
Xa umntu ongenangqondo engqongqo engqongqo, umntu akakho (ubuncinane ekuqaleni kwe "binge") akacwangcanga ukushiya intsapho yakhe. Akakhange afune umfazi omtsha-ukhangele ukuvuselela okutsha ebomini, ukuvakalelwa kwezesondo zesondo, inkokhelo entsha yemoya. Ngenxa yokuba iminyaka engama-15 ukuya kwe-25 yobomi bomtshato (sithetha ngomntu osapho oyisibonelo), iimvakalelo ezithandekayo kumfazi ziye zadityaniswa. Kwaye kungokwemvelo, nangona abafazi abafuni ukuvuma ngokucacileyo. Sonke sifuna ukukholelwa ukuba uthando olunothando lunokuhlala ixesha lobomi. Yeha ... Uthando-uthando kwiminyaka emininzi yobomi bentsapho buya kutshintshwa bube yinto ehlaziyayo. Abanye bathi ngumkhuba. Hayi, kungekho kumkhwa - kwi-attachment, ngobudlelwane obungokomoya, umphefumlo. xa bobabini bomtshato bekhululekile omnye nomnye (ubuncinane, ngoko kufanele kube njalo).
Nangona kunjalo, ixesha lihamba, kwaye emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane kwintsimi yomntu "inzwakala" ephazamisayo. Uvakalelwa kukuba ulahlekelwa ngumzimba. Enyanisweni, oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo: inqanaba lesenzo sokulala ngesondo esomeleleyo siwela kwiminyaka engama-30-33, kwaye emva kweminyaka engama-37 ukuya kwimi-40, ukuhla kwayo kwezemvelo kuza. Kodwa indoda iyethusa: "Kancinane nje, kwaye ndingumdala? Kodwa andizange ndiphile-njengokuba zibhalwe kwiincwadi, njengoko kuboniswe kwi-cinema. Ewe akunakwenzeka, ndiza kubonisa oko ndiyakwenza. Kubalulekile ukufumana loo mfazi, ukuze andikhokele! "Kwaye kuqala konke kunzima. Kodwa indoda emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane icacisa ukuba elinye ibhinqa liyinkosikazi nje, kuba umfazi wakhe osemthethweni uyonwabile kunye naye - njengelinye iqabane lokwenene lobomi, inkosikazi enhle, umama onobubele wabantwana bakhe.
Ukuziphatha komntu otshatileyo kubangela ukunyuka kokomoya, ukuvakalelwa kwintswelo, uzive kakuhle. Ngaba uyazi into acinga ngayo ngeli xesha? Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu akafundi nto. Ungumsebenzi onobuhle, indoda enomdla kunye noyise. Yaye inomdla kakhulu, ngeli xesha lingaba nolwalamano oluhle kakhulu nomfazi wakhe. Uyamnika izipho, amanga ekuseni, ahambe emsebenzini, aphange ngokuhlwa, ngelixesha elibuya emsebenzini, ebusuku - isondo esihle kakhulu. Uphakame, ulawula yonke into. Kwaye, kwaye apha. U-Hooray, uphinde usemgangathweni - ujabule, uyomelele, uselula!
Nangona kunjalo, ngolunye usuku umntu "uyakhonkcoza" umfazi wakhe. Yaye ngubani ohlala ehlala? Mfundisi. Emva kwayo yonke into ecinga ngayo? "Ulungile, uqikelele, xa edibana nam, ngoko akayithandi umfazi wakhe. Simele sithathe! "... Yiloo nto, ukuba uyayithanda! Kuphela nje ukuba ixesha lakhe libi kakhulu, ngokunjalo, njengengqungquthela yabasetyhini ... Ukuba ukungcatsha akuzange kuvulwe, ingxabano ayizange iqale, kholwani, yonke into ebantwaneni bayo yayiya kulungile. Kwaye emva kwonyaka kunye nesiqingatha, ubuninzi beebini, le ntsilelo evela kwintloko yentloko yayiya kuhamba. Njengoko bathetha, wagijima waza wazincama. Ewe, umfazi onomdla unokuqiqa, uzive ukuba umyeni wakhe unomntu ohlangothini, kunokwenzeka ukuba ufumane ezinye iinkqubo. Kodwa, mhlawumbi, kungcono ukuba ungazi malunga nalo? .. Ngelishwa, siye safundiswa ukususela ebuntwaneni: inyaniso enenzondelelo ingcono kunamanga amnandi. Ngaba kunjalo? Sijwayelene nayo yonke into, kubandakanye ubudlelwane babantu, iimvakalelo, ukuhlushwa ngokomzwelo, ukuhamba kunye nemigangatho emininzi engummangaliso: omnyama nomhlophe, okulungileyo nokungalunganga, okuhle nokubi. Uthembekileyo uthetha ukuba uyamthanda. I-infidel ithetha umrhwebi, ummangaleli. Kwaye akukho zikhetho?
Yintoni esinokuyenza kubasetyhini?
Kulo nyaka, amadoda emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane kufuneka ukuba alungele, kuba wonke umntu uya kusinda. Isiqingatha sa "amaxhoba" awaziyo ngako. Ndiyazi imizekelo xa, emva kokuba abafazi abangamashumi amane baqala ukuhlambalaza, kwaye oku kwenzeka enhle, omnye unokuthi, iintsapho eziyimifanekiso. Kwaye kwimizalwane efanayo, emehlweni am, "amadoda", ode ngoku athatyathwa njengabayeni abodelelekileyo, "ngokuthula" waphambukela ngokuthula. Kwaye konke oku ekugqibeleni kwaphela. Ewe, ukuba "indoda elungileyo" ayizange ixelele kumfazi okanye umyeni wakhe.
Musa ukucinga nje ukuba ndiyathethelela ukukrexeza kwaye kufuneka ilahle. Hayi, kwixinzelelo kunye nakwiintsapho zokungabikho ukuhamba. Kodwa oko kungenziwa njani? Makhe sicinge - yintoni indoda eyayiyithanda, ukuba umfazi wakhe ufumene ngeentlanga zakhe? Kwaye emva komnyango ovaliweyo kwalungiselela umonakalo, isityholo, nokuba ngaba babesifake imbobo yabo, kodwa kuphela abazange bathabathe ilinen ecocekileyo ngaphandle kwendlu. Ukuba wathi: "Ewe, ndinetyala, andiyi kuphinda ndiyenze kwakhona." Ndikholelwe, kwisiqingatha seentsapho kwimeko efanayo kunye nokwenza. Kwaye iyakuma. Kodwa abaninzi abafazi benza ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Emva koko bayazisola.
Kukho uluvo lokuba umfazi emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane, ukuba ufuna ukuhlala ekhangeleka kumyeni wakhe, umele ukhangele ngokugqithiseleyo umzobo, ufanele ukuqina, ugqoke ngaphantsi kweengubo zangaphandle. Emva koko indoda ayiyi kujonga enye. Nonsense. Enyanisweni, ibhinqa kufuneka lilandele rhoqo, ngokuzihlonela. Kodwa ukuguqula ekubeni yintengantoni akunangqiqo. Inkwenkwezi ye-movie, u-Elina Bystritskaya, naye watshintsha umyeni wakhe emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane anesihlanu, kwaye uyindoda enhle. Indoda ifuna nje ezinye iimvakalelo, kwaye ngoko akukho mfanekiso omhle okanye iingubo zangaphantsi ezimnandi ziza kumsindisa - uya kuphuma kulo mdlalo kumfazi olula. Yaye kungekhona into yokuba incinci. Uya kuhamba kwenye. Yiyiphi na? Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo umntu akhathalele, ngoko ke, masithi, kwintlontle: umphathi, onika indlu yakhe kwiintlanganiso, ezingadingi kakhulu ... Emva koko, indoda emitshatileyo emva kweminyaka engamashumi amane ayinyanzelwanga ukuba ixinze, ichithe imali eninzi. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi abanjalo "basecaleni", emsebenzini. Kwaye, maye, kuninzi kakhulu namhlanje - enesizungu, engaxhaswanga, enqwenela uthando lomntu, ngoko ke ukulungele ukukhululeka.
Ukugxotha okanye ukuxolela?
Kwaye umbuzo: unokwenza njani umfazi, ukuba ufumene ngokungcatsha komyeni wakhe? Ngelishwa, abafazi, njengomthetho, baqala "ukuphuza iinkuni": ukuhlambalaza, ukuya kumyeni osebenzayo, kunina, ukuya kumantombazana, uya kuqonda loo ntokazi ... kwaye ngale ndlela bayichaza indoda engumntu oyisidenge, i-scoundrel. Kwaye ivili liphendukele phantsi! ... Umfazi othukiweyo kunye nomgwenxa obonisa ukuba "umguqukisi" emnyango, umthumelele ukuba ahlale kunye nonina, umqhubela ukuba alale ebhokisini, ulindele ukuba amkhawulezele emadolweni ukuze axolise ... Okanye yena ngokwakhe uyazibamba iinwele zenkosikazi yakhe. Ngenxa yoko, ngenxa yokungaqondakali komfazi, intsapho iyahlukana. Ewe, njengomthetho, ininzi yeso sihlandlo umtshato uyahlukana kungekhona ngenxa yokungcatshiswa komyeni wakhe, kodwa ngenxa yokuziphatha kakubi komfazi emva kokungcatshwa.
Into yokuqala into eyenziwa ngumfazi kwimeko enjalo ukuvala umlomo wakhe kwinqaba. Umyeni uya kuvuyisa gqitha ukuba umfazi wakhe wenza ngokuhlakanipha. Ewe, ubulungisa buya kuthatha xa "kungabonakali kumncinci kuye", kodwa, njengoko sele ndibhale, zonke iimvakalelo zihlala kwindlu yam, emva komnyango ovaliweyo. Kwabaqalayo - ukuvala umlomo wakho wonke umntu: kubamelwane, oogxa, intombi, kunye nabahlobo bakho. Umyeni wam sele ehlazekile ngumfazi nabantwana bakhe, akafuni ukugwetywa (kunye nokuhleba) ngokukhanya okumhlophe.
Ngubani na onokuba ngummelwane onokwethenjelwa, ngoko ... ngumamazala. Ewe, ewe, ngowokuqala akayi kufuna ihlazo. Uya kuba neentloni phambi kwabantu ngokuziphatha komntu otshatileyo-unyana wakhe. Okwesibini, uvalela abazukulwana bakhe. Kwaye, okwesithathu, uziva ebuhlungu ngenxa yezinto ezilungileyo, ukusebenza kwakhe kunye nemali ayithengayo kule ntsapho. Ewe, uya kuthi kumkhwenyana: "Ingxaki yakhe - indoda yakhe ayihambeli kumfazi omhle" (kwaye ke, kuyo yonke indawo, uya kukhumbula kwakhona amaxesha angamashumi amabini), kodwa umsebenzi wakhe wobuchule uya kuzaliseka-inkunzi yonyana wakhe iya kusongela: "Ewe, ewe, Ewe, bonke ngoyise! Ndiza kukubonisa uthando! "Ubaba uya kucebisa:" Ndodana, ungabi bubuqili, ungalindelanga ukushiya intsapho yakho! Ndikholelwe, abafazi bahluke, kwaye abafazi bafana. "
Ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi okhohlisayo uxinzezela imeko enye - ukungabikho kolwazi malunga nomchasi. Ngoko ke, okwesibini, enqwenelekayo ukwenza "ixhoba", ukufumana ulwazi. Umyeni akafanele ahlolwe ngaphandle - akayi kuthetha inyaniso nantoni na: uya kudiba kwaye afihle iiphelo emanzini. Kwaye kufanelekile: kufuneka azikhanyele ekugqibeleni kwaye ungathethi ngaphezu kokuba umfazi uyazi. Okanye ngokukhawuleza uwa ngamadolo uze ufunge ukuba akayazi ukuba kwenzeke njani, ukuba wayekhohliswa ngokukhawuleza, echwayiniswe ngamachiza, ekhunjulwa ... Le ndlela, yindlela, iyona ndlela elula kakhulu kwaye inokuyiphumelela yokukhupha.
Kodwa umfazi akwazi nto - uyethusa: yile ndlela yokulwa nesitha. Lapha ufuna umntu othembekileyo oya kukhanyisa kodwa angagqithisi imfihlakalo "kwihlabathi elifihlakeleyo". Ndiyifumana phi na? Kubalulekile ukujonga phakathi koogxa lomyeni wakhe obhinqa obusemagunyeni obudala. Njengomthetho, ukukrexeza abo asebenza nabo akusiyo imfihlo. Nguye kuphela umfazi ohlala efumana okokugqibela.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, umfazi wafumanisa yonke into. Yintoni ongayenza ngokulandelayo? Umthetho wesithathu: nawuphi na umcimbi, musa ukujongana nomdlali! Okokuqala, xa uya kumntu ofuna ukucela okanye ukufuna into ethile, sele usulahlekile. Okwesibini, ade umfazi abone intombi yomyeni wakhe - ngokuba yonke into ingabonakaliyo, i-semireal, ayibuhlungu kakhulu. Kwaye xa ebona umchasi ngokukodwa, iimvakalelo ziqala: nokuba zilungile kwaye zincinci, kwaye oku kuyacaphukisa - "Ndichitha ubutsha bakhe kuye, kwaye yena! .."; kwaye ukuba oko kukudala kwaye kungekuhle kakhulu, kuyacaphukisa - "ngubani na ongitshintshisayo?". Ngamanye amaxesha, ngomsindo, ndifuna ukukrazula iinwele zam. Kwaye oku kulahleka kwekhulu. Ngoko ke, akufuneki ukuba uye kwi-rival ukuqonda. Kwaye ngokubanzi, kuya kuba luzuko olukhulu kuye!
Kule meko, umfazi onokunyamezela, ubulumko kunye nobuqili besifazane uya kuphumelela. Ukuba indoda iyabiza, umfazi kufuneka athi kuye: "Uyamthanda, hamba, kodwa uyazi: Ndiyakuthanda, kwaye andinakuphila ngaphandle kwakho, kuba ubomi bam bonke." Umgaqo wegolide: ukuba ufuna ukumbamba - vumela uhambe. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, awukwazi ukugxotha umyeni ngokwakhe! Bafazi abathandekayo, ninganiki bani apha ngokukhawuleza, bashushu, besuka ebubini, ngobudenge babayeni babo! Nangona umphefumlo ngaloo mzuzu ungenakulibaleka, ungakheli ukukhawuleza. Mamela ngenyameko kumyeni (umyeni, kungekhona umntu ongaziwayo), cinga uze uyiqonde. Yaye ukuqonda ukuxolela.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni: ukuba uyayinyamekela kakhulu, ukuba ungayidlulisi konke uthando kunye nokunyamekela abantwana, umsebenzi, iintombi, izilwanyana, ukuzizonwabisa, imfashini, ezopolitiko, ezemidlalo, uThixo uyazi enye into, ukuba awukhethi ngaphandle kwoluhlu lomyeni wakho othandekayo, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukuba idemoni, ingqongqo ekupheleni, ayiyi kufikelela. Kwaye ukuba uhlalutye kwisimo esithile somntu otshatileyo emva kweminyaka emashumi mane akudingeki.