Kungenxa yesi sizathu sokuba kwiminyaka engama-60% yemitshato indoda iyatshintsha. Yaye le yodwa imeko ebonakalisiweyo yemitshato yendoda esatshatileyo evela kumlingane ukuya kumfazi okhululekileyo. Kukho, okwenene, ukungafani, ukukhonza, njengoko kufanelekile, ubungqina bombuso oqingqiweyo. Nangona kunjalo, amaninzi amadoda ayengowokuqala ukuphikisana nomtshato.
Indlela yokufumanisa ukuba indoda ikopela?
Lo mbuzo uxhaphaza abaninzi abafazi abasolisayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo unqwenela ukufumanisa ukuba intanda inomntu osisigxina okanye uhlala njalo-kwaye uxhoxisa amadoda ukuba enze ukunyanzela. Kodwa le ndlela yabasetyhini ayigcini ekufuneni isicwangciso esilungileyo sokufumanisa ukunyaniseka. Kukholelwa ukuba indlela elula kakhulu kwaye ephumelelayo yokufumanisa ukuba inkosikazi yendoda yakhe yinto elula yokubonisa ingqalelo kwizenzo zakhe. Kwaye le teknoloji yophando iyamnceda umfazi ukuba aphendule umbuzo obalulekileyo kuye. Ngokwezibalo, ukutshatyalaliswa komfazi kwendoda kubonakala ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Kwaye kuma-80% amatyala-kwizenzo zamadoda ekubonweni kwenkosikazi.
Ngoko umyeni onetyala unokuziphatha njani, ukuba kwintlangano apho akhoyo khona kunye nomlingane osemthethweni, ngokukhawuleza kubonakala umntu olele embhedeni yakhe ekhangelelanisa iimvakalelo ezahlukeneyo? Okokuqala, inika umntu ongakholwayo - isetyenziso sesenzo, ubuso obusweni, intetho yezwi kunye nezinye iindlela ngaphandle kwamagama ukuhambisa iimvakalelo zabo. Njengoko usebenza ngengqondo kwaye ngokufanelekileyo, umntu onjalo ngokukhawuleza uba yintlanzi yokwesaba kwakhe. Ngaphandle oku kubonakaliswa ngokujonga, ukunyakaza, ukuzama ukuthatha umhlalaphantsi kweso sigaba, okuvela kwindawo yendawo yenkosikazi isuswe ngokukhawuleza kunye nekholi ephakamileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu wakhe uzama ukufihla ukwethuka kwakhe emva kokumamatheka okungokwemvelo. Kodwa izandla - ziyakunika ngokupheleleyo. Baya kuphuma emlonyeni ukuya entanyeni, baqhekeza ibhulorho yempumlo kwaye bazama ukuzityhula iincinci zothuli ezingekho kwi-jacket.
Ukuqaphela inkosikazi kwindibano apho umntu eze nomfazi wakhe okanye umntu onokumxelela ngokuziphatha kwakhe okungaqhelekanga kwelinye ibhinqa, indoda iya kuyilibala ngokukwazi ukujonga abantu emehlweni. Ukujonga kwakhe kugxininisa egumbini kwizame zokufumana into ekubambelele ekucingeni ngayo imeko. Ukuphunyuka kwamehlo kwinyaniso akuhlali ixesha elide: nakubonwa kwindlovukazi, amadoda akwazi ukuzibamba ngokukhawuleza kwaye, ubuncinci, athathwe ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ukuba ubonakala ngokuchanekileyo kwimimiselo yokuqala yokubonakala komnye, enye, lo mfazi akayi kudibanisa nayiphi na into.
Yaye ukuba inkosikazi ingumhlobo?
Ewe, ukuba ukhetha ibhinqa elisuka kwinqanaba elingaphakathi kwesigqibo esifanelekileyo, ngoko xa umthandi wakhe ebonakalayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba alahlekelwe yintloko yakhe: eyazi kakuhle ukuba uya kudibana naye rhoqo phambi kobafazi bakhe, uya kulungelelanisa nokuziphatha ngokufanelekileyo kwiimeko ezinjalo. Enyanisweni, oku kungasilungeleliso esona sisongelo esikhulu kubantu. Ukuba ngumntu osebenzayo kwaye unqwenela ukulawula yonke into ebomini bakhe, indoda ilahleka lula ukuba into ethile ayihambanga ngendlela ehlelile ngayo. Ngaloo ndlela - kunye nokujonga okukhawuleza, kunye nokuthandana, kunye nomnqweno wokuhamba ngokuqhelekileyo kunye nenkosikazi yakhe. Kodwa ukuba kubonakala kulindeleke enye ibhinqa, ngoko uya kuzinzileyo. Nangona into ekhona isenokuyenza.
Njalo, khangela. Inkosikazi yamadoda amaninzi atshatileyo ibonakalisa inkululeko yesondo, inzondo engavumelekanga, leyo, njengoko uyaziyo, akukho nto inomnandi. Ngoko ke, ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo phakathi kwakhe kunye nomfazi ohlala naye kwintsapho, unokuziva wonke umntu. Ngokukodwa - umfazi owazi kakuhle umyeni wakhe. Ukususela ngenye indlela, ngaphandle kwendoda yomntu ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe ngomfazi kule meko nje akakwazi, yiyo le ndlela ebeka kuyo ingozi. Ukuhlala unomdla ngokugqithiseleyo kubo bonke abantu, uya kuthi yonke iminithi yexesha lakhe elikhululekile lijonge inkosikazi yakhe. Yiyiphi, mhlawumbi, iya kumphendula ngenye yemali enye.
Ezinye iimbonakalo
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kungekhona nje ngombono, kodwa nakweminye imbonakalo yokuziphatha, inokumisela ukuba ekamelweni okanye kwiholo ye-cafe kukho umfazi apho indoda ikhohlisa kumfazi wayo. Ngokukodwa, xa isondela, ngokuqinisekileyo iya kuqala ngokukhawuleza, ingabonakali ngokucacileyo. Yaye xa ekhuphuka, uya kugxininiswa kakhulu kunye naye kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uyothumela ihlazo elingathandeki kuye ngokukhawuleza xa eshiya eso sibini. Le ndoda enetyala inika indlela yokuphuma kwintyala yokuba bonke abaguqula amadoda, nokuba ngaba bona abayivumeli. Ukwahlukana xa iqabane lijongene nokukhangela intsha, kodwa ukuze liphindezezele umfazi ongathembekanga.
Ngokuqhelekileyo ukuziphatha komntu otshatileyo ekubonweni kwenkosikazi kuncitshiswa kuphela ukudumisa nokubonisa ububele kwintando yakhe esemthethweni kunye nokugxeka komnye umfazi. Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi, amadoda anjalo azama ukutsala kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba abafazi babo bawuthathe inkosikazi. Kwaye baqala ukuthetha izinto ezingakhethi malunga nomfazi onika inkululeko yesikhashana, kuphela xa ecinga ukuba umyeni wakhe ucinga into ethile. Okanye uzama ukwenza ubuhlobo kunye nenkosikazi yakhe, eyongomngca ngeengxaki ezininzi ezingenakulungiswa.
Ukubukeka, ukutshatyalaliswa, ukubonakalisa ukwesaba, ukumnkqangaza, ukuzama ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kwindawo apho enye ibhinqa ibonakala ngokukhawuleza, yimiqondiso yangaphandle yokuziphatha kwamadoda kwiimeko ezinjalo. Kwaye kukho nenani leempawu ezikhethekileyo zesigwebo sakhe. Ngokukodwa, ezi zizame ukubonisa omnye umfazi indlela engalunganga ngayo apha. Kuyacaca ukuba, ngaphandle koko, kunokunyusa umfazi kuyo yonke indlela, akayi kukwazi ukwenza oku. Ngoko le nto iya kuba xa iimeko eziyingozi ziza kuye, ingumntu ongaqhelekanga, onohloniphekileyo, ochanekileyo ekuhambeni kwakhe kwaye ethobekileyo kwiingxelo zakhe. Ingxabano yenjano nomfazi wakhe kuyeka ukuhlala ekhona, kwaye ukuthethwa ngumhlobo onqatshelwe ngumfazi wakhe ngokukhawuleza kuveza kuye unomdla omkhulu kunye namava okunyanisekileyo kwindoda edikiweyo. Ngaphezu koko, umntu onjalo uziphatha kakuhle kunye nabo bonke abamele abesifazana abakhona kwinkampani, apho wafika nomkakhe. Ngaphandle kwaloo nto - inkosikazi. Kuloo nto uzama ukungahambi. Kodwa kungekudala okanye kamva, uya kubakhoka phambi kwamehlo omfazi ngeminzana embalwa, aze achaze ukuba wayesekhefu, kwindawo yangasese okanye umoya ophefumlelweyo nje. Ngokumangalisayo, ngelo xesha, intombazana leyo umyeni wayo egxeke kakhulu okanye engayithobeli ingqalelo kuyo yonke indawo ayiyi kubakho ehholo.