Emva kokuqhawula umtshato, abanye abafazi bavuma ngokufanelekileyo ukulala ngesondo nomntu owayengumyeni. Izizathu eziphambili zendlela yokuziphatha kwabafazi kubhekwa njengomkhwa, ukwaneliseka ngokwesini, okanye ukuvuselela iimvakalelo. Ingcaciso enomdla iya kubamba amanani, ngokubhekiselele kulokuba i-30% yabasetyhini abasele emtshatweni olandelayo, bangena kwiintlobano zesini kunye neqabane labo langaphambili, ekuthiwa "iinkonzo ezithandana nazo zangaphambili." Ngendlela, ezinye zezesondo ezifanelekileyo zingaphenduka ngenxa yezenzo. Kwaye, okokuqala, iya kuhamba kunye nengqondo yengqondo kunye nokuzisola kwiintsapho zakho, abahlobo kunye nomyeni omtsha.
Izizathu eziphambili zokushukumisa umfazi ukuba alalane nomntu owayengumyeni:
Abatshatileyo besaqhubeka bevelana, kwaye iingxabano ezikhokelela ekugqibeleni ubudlelwane basisisombululo esisemthethweni kwingxaki yokungalingani ekusebenzisaneni kwabo.
Kwintliziyo yomtshato odlulileyo kwakuphela ngesondo kuphela, ngenxa yeso sizathu isondlo kunye nomntu owayengumlingani nxalenye yendima ebalulekileyo yolwalamano, naphezu kwanomtshato.
Ngomyeni omtsha, loo ntokazi ayifuni inzondo kunye nokuxhalaba okwakunomlingane wangaphambili kwaye ngenxa yoko, le ntokazi inomdla omkhulu kuye.
Ibhinqa liphefumlelwe ngumnqweno wokuba yintando yantoni na kuzo zonke iindleko.
Umtshato omtsha uyiphutha, yingako injongo ephambili kukubuyisela umtshato omdala, okwangoku kubonakala ngathi uphumelele.
Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nomyeni wangaphambili unceda intombazana ivakalelwa ngakumbi kwaye ikhululekile, ingafani nesondo kunye nendoda entsha.
Kwiimeko ezininzi, loo ntokazi, owanelisayo ngomtshato omtsha, ukwakha ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye nomyeni owayesakuba ngumyeni ngenxa yesondo kunye nokukhangeka ngokukhawuleza kuye, okungayekanga kunye nexesha kwaye idibanise ukujika okutsha. Ngaphezu koko, ngokungena ngokulalana ngesondo kunye nomntu osekude naye, loo nto ibhinqa ayifumanga oku kukhwabanisa. Ewe, kunye nomyeni osandul 'ukwenziwa, emva kokufunda malunga nento eyenzekayo, kwisithembu somfazi uvame ukuvala amehlo akhe.
Okulungileyo okanye okubi?
Kodwa nokuba yintoni na, ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo kunye nomntu owayengumlingane naye kunokuzisa ingozi engenakulinganiswa nobomi bentsapho. Emva koko, umbuzo uvela apha ukuba ukuba umfazi uhlala kunye neengcamango zangaphambili, ulindela ntoni kulwalamano olutsha kwaye ngaba bayayidinga ngempela? Yingakho ngaphambi kokuba wakhe indlu entsha, kufuneka ucinge malunga nolwalamano lwangaphambili, ukuchonga zonke "i-pluses" kunye ne "minuses" zezinto ezaza kwenzeka kunye noko kuza kuba. Kuphela ke sinako ukugqiba ekubeni, ngokwenene, kubaluleke kakhulu ukulala nobudlelwane bezesondo kunye nabangaphambili, ezisekelwe kwiimvakalelo ezidlulileyo okanye ubomi kwi-slate ecocekileyo. Ewe, ukuba oko sele kwenzekile kwaye lo mfazi unxibelelana nomntu owayekade naye, kunye nomntu omtsha otyunjweyo uyazi malunga naso, apha kuyimfuneko ukuxazulula ingxaki ephakamileyo ngokuthetha ngokucacileyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo.
Into ebalulekileyo yesini kunye nomyeni wangaphambili
Ulwalamano olusondeleyo nomyeni wangaphambili luhamba ngokuthe ngqo kwiingxaki zangaphambili, ezavela ngexesha lobomi bentsapho ngeemvakalelo ezimbini zabantu abaziva ngaphambi komnye. Abazange bakwazi ukujamelana nomsebenzi wemihla ngemihla kunye nobomi, bengayifumananga ukuqonda, bahlakazeka beshiya uxhulumano lwezesondo kuphela. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngento yokuba ibhinqa lifumana ukuxhamla ngokwesondo kumntu owayengumthandi kuphela xa ekwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe. Kodwa nantoni na oyithethayo, kuba abaninzi abafazi bayiyonto epheleleyo.
Buyela kum, uthando lwam!
Kukho amantombazana abakholelwa ukuba xa bebuyela kumlingane wabo wangaphambili baya kubuyela uthando lwabo ngaphambili, baqale kwakhona. Kodwa, ngelishwa, bambalwa abantu abakwazi ukwenza isondo. Ngoko ke, ukuze ubuyisele ubuhlobo kunye nomntu owayengumlingani, isondo kufuneka uyenze ngaphezu komkhwa. Ngaphezu koko, ukuqwalaselwa kweempazamo zangaphambili, ukuhlaziywa kwazo zonke iimeko, ukunakekelwa komntu obiza kakhulu - oku kuya kunceda ukutshisa umlilo wangaphambili. Khumbula ukuba ukuxazulula ingxaki akuthethi ukuwususa. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba omnye umfazi oqhawulekileyo, njengomthetho, uyakuxabisa inkululeko entsha, kodwa ukungabikho kwengqalelo yindoda yingxaki enkulu. Ngenxa yeso sizathu, ukulala ngesondo kunye nomyeni wangaphambili unceda ukugcina umtshato, ukunika umdla okhethekileyo, ukunyanzela nokuqinisa.