Masize senze isigqibo sokuba ngubani ootywala. Laba ngabantu ababeka ukuthanda kwabo kunye nemibono kwabanye, musa ukunyamezela xa bephikisana nabo. Bathi banciphise abantu abasondeleyo kunye nabomthonyama abanelungelo lokwenza izigqibo ezizimeleyo, abavunyelwe ukuba babe nesithuba sabo somntu abangalawulwayo . Bamele bazi malunga neyiphi inyathelo kunye nesenzo. Oku akuchaphazelekayo kuphela kwiindleko zemali, kodwa nakwisigqoko sakho sokugqoka, ekukhethweni kwinqutyana yakho yentlalo, ixesha lokunxibelelana, kunye nabahlobo kunye nabazali bakho. Kwakhona, umyeni onobuqili ufumana isohlwayo malunga nendlela osebenzela ngayo itafile, kunye nenyaniso yokuba ibhedi ayifuni kwindlela ayithandayo kunye neentlanzi ezingabonakali phantsi kwetafile ekhitshini.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho amadoda angama-tyrannical kuphela abonisa ngokukodwa uhlobo lwawo. Ngokomzekelo, ekulawuleni kuphela ukuchitha imali okanye ukubonisa ukulawulwa kwintsebenziswano kunye nesini esahlukileyo. Ukuba ufuna ukuhamba nentombazana e-cafe, akayi kuphulaphula izichaso zakho, kodwa umane ubenqande ukwenza konke. Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba indoda ijika ibe yintlanzi kuphela ekhaya, emva kokuba ibe mnandi kwaye ihloniphe ekuxoxeni kunye nabo basebenza emsebenzini.
Enyanisweni, i-psychology yobudlelwane, apho indoda ingumtyholi, kwaye umfazi uyintwazana, inzima kakhulu. Enyanisweni, ubundlobongela obwenziwe phezu kwentando yabantu, kwaye ngokukodwa xa kwenzeka phakathi kwabatshatileyo (kwaye empeleni indoda engummeli noxinzeleleko ngokunyanisekileyo nokunyanzelisa intando yomfazi wakhe) yinkqubo, ngokwenene, iyinto enyanyekayo. Nangona kunjalo, oku akusoloko kuthetha ukuba indoda ayiyithandi iqabane layo. Mhlawumbi unobuthathaka?
Kunokwenzeka ukuba ngokwahlukileyo bahlule amadoda angamaqhwaba ngamaqela amathathu.
Abatshali beqela lokuqala bachongwa ngokuba bafuna ukumisela ukulawula jikelele. Umbuzo oyintanda kakhulu owenziwe ngabafazi abanobugwenxa, abayifunayo kubafazi babo: "Kuphi na?". Lo mntu ufuna ukwazi ukuba ngubani na umfazi wakhe okanye umntwana wakhe ohamba naye, yintoni abayenzayo, abahlobo bakhe ngabantwana, kutheni umfazi kamva wabuya ekhaya evela emsebenzini kwaye apho wayelele khona imizuzu engamashumi amathathu. Kumele azi konke kwaye alawulwe, kuba nguye kuphela onokuzithemba.
Amacandelo eqela lesibini afana nokuziphatha kakubi kumfazi wabo. Ncothula kancinci. Ngamanye amaxesha basebenzisa amabinzana anjengale: "Uluhlu olungenalo imfundo, awukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwam" okanye into enje: "Usukela yonke into, ngubani oza kukuthatha ukusebenza", "Khangela kuwe ngokwakho kwisibuko, ngubani na ofuna ngaphandle kwam? ". Ngako oko, ukwandisa ukuzithemba kwakhe, kwaye umfazi wakhe uphefumlelwe ukuba angenaye uya kulahla kwaye akukho nto inokuyenza. Ufuna nje kuphela, ngaphandle kwayo ayikho into, indawo engenanto.
Abathathi beqela lesithathu banako ukukwazi ukusebenzisa ubudlova obuphathekayo kumfazi wabo kunye nabantwana. Ukusebenzisa izibonda yinkalo ephezulu yokubonakaliswa kobuqhwala kwintsapho. Izibalo zithatha ngokungazelelwe zibonisa ukuba abafazi nabantwana bahlala bexhoba ngokubetha komyeni noyise. Kananjalo kuninzi kunokunyusa kwaye ngoko imeko enzima yezinto, ukusetyenziswa kotywala okanye iziyobisi, kuba banako ukuphindaphinda ubundlobongela kwaye banako ukukhubaza ngokupheleleyo ukulawulwa kwezenzo zomntu.
Njengomthetho, umtyholi wasekhaya ubonisa ubukhohlakali bakhe kuphela ngokuphathelele kwintsapho yakhe, ngaphakathi kwendlu yakhe. Yaye xa edibana nesitratato esitalato, akunakwenzeka ukuba amelane naye. Kuba ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwakhe uhlala encinci kunye nobuthakathaka.
Kutheni umntu efumana umyeni oqhelekileyo, kwaye abanye bafumana ubunzima? Ewe, ngenxa yentombazana enye, sele uyivile ngeemfuno zeso sicwangciso esithi "Uphi na?" Okanye "Kutheni ixesha elide emva kwemizuzu elinesibini" liqhekeza ubudlelwane kwaye alufuni ukunika ingxelo rhoqo kwisinyathelo ngasinye, kwaye siya kuhamba uya kutshata kwaye uya kulungiswa phambi kwakhe bonke ubomi bakhe. Konke malunga nokukhetha kwethu, kuba akukho namnye obeka umtshato kuthi kumtyholi, sikhetha yona. Yonke le mibuzo ibonakala ingenangqiqo ibonisa ukungaqiniseki kwakhe. Emva koko, uthatyathwa ngenxa yokwesaba ngenxa yokuba akayikushiya intsingiselo yokuba uya kufumana impikiswano efanelekileyo ngakumbi entliziyweni yakho. Kwaye amaninzi amantombazana ekuqaleni bacinga ukuba xa banobukhwele, bayathanda. Hm, ngaba yena? Mhlawumbi uyamthanda, kodwa yena ngokwakhe, uthando lwakhe olukhethekileyo.
Ngoko sifike kwisigqibo esichazela ukuba amanye amantombazana avumela utyholi ukuba aziphathe, ngelixa abanye bengenzi. Luhlobo luni lwabasetyhini abavunyelwe ukuba basebenzise?
Lawa mabhinqa ayenemeko efanayo kwintsapho yabo kunye noyise oyinyani. Ubamba yonke into njengesiponji kunye neengcinga ezinjalo njengolu hlobo olufanelekileyo lolwalamano, apho umntu enesibindi kwaye enobudlova, kwaye umfazi uyazithobela. Nantsi imvelo kwaye ikhangele indoda yendoda, ekwazi ukuhlazisa, okuya kumnika ithuba lokuthobela.
Ngokuphathelele impembelelo yongqongqo, amaxhoba amabhinqa awela. Baxhomekeke ekuxhomekeke kwengqondo kwezobuhlobo. Umyeni onobuqili, owazi amandla akhe phezu kwendlu, uyonwabile, kwaye umfazi uhlala efuna izizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe kunye nokubonakaliswa kobudlova ngenxa yokukhathala, umsebenzi wokusebenza emsebenzini, njl njl. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxhatshazwa kobudlova ngenxa yokungathobeli kubangelwa ukuba bafunga omnye kumnye othandweni kwingcwaba okanye baxolelaniswa ngoncedo lobundlobongela obundlobongela. Kwaye umfazi uxhomekeka kwizinto ezinjalo kunye noxolelaniso, njengengozi yomlwelwe.
Ibhinqa ingaphakathi kwimeko, oko kuthetha ukuba akakwazi ukugqiba ngokukhawuleza oko kuqhutyelwa khona. Yaye xa intsapho yam kunye nabahlobo baqala ukumxelela ukuba uyayilawula njengopopi, akayikholelwa. Yaye ithi bayamhawukela kwaye bafuna ukumthintela ngokuvuya, kuba ulungile, umlingani wakhe unzima.
Ukuba ucinga malunga nendlela yokunqanda umtyholi, kufuneka usebenze. Kufuneka ubonise umtyholi ukuba izihlobo zakho, abahlobo, abazalwana bayazi malunga nazo zonke izenzo zakhe. Kwaye baya kuhlala bekunceda baze bamjezise.
Mxelele ukuba kukho amacandelo anjalo kumthetho olwaphulo-mthetho obiza uxanduva lokuhlaselwa, ukuhlanjululwa kwendiza yokuziphatha neyomzimba.
Ukuba awusebenzi, qiniseka ukuba ufumane umsebenzi kwaye ufumane imali yakho. Emva koko uza kuba nokuzithemba nokuzimela ngokwezimali kumyeni wakhe. Kodwa ke ungasuka kuye kwaye unqume zonke iintlobo kunye naye, yindlela eyona ndlela efanelekileyo yokulwa nomyeni wesibindi.
Le yengqondo yezobudlelwane, apho indoda ingumtyholi, kwaye umfazi uxhoba. Ngamnye wethu kufuneka azenzele isigqibo sokuba ngokwakhe uhlala nalo mntu, ezama ukuphinde amfundise okanye ukushiya ngonaphakade, enethemba lokufumana inkosana yangempela?