Ngaba umbuzo uyasichukumisa ngokwenene: xa ngokuthe ngqo "ukwabela" isondo sokuqala? Ukuba singathethi, asixhalabele ngeli xesha lokuqala, kodwa ngokusabela komntu ekuziphatheni kwethu kule meko. Emva koko, ukuba asizange sithembele kuyo, ngoko ixesha le-sex yokuqala liza kuthiwa lilula ngokulula kwaye ngokukhawuleza.
Eyona mininzi, sibuza umbuzo "sele usenokwenzeka okanye awukho?" Kwiimeko ezimbini: ngaphambi kokulala ngesondo, ukuba umviwa unenani elixabisekileyo kuthi okanye sele sele lithe emva koko, ukuba isondo senzeke ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza.
Umbuzo ufanelekile, kodwa enye impendulo ngokubanzi kumbuzo othi "nini ukuqala kwaye nokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ulale ngesondo ngemihla yokuqala ngaphandle kokuphazamisa umfanekiso emehlweni akhe" akunakwenzeka. (Le nto yaboniswa ziziphumo zophando lwabesilisa kule sihloko).
Eli nqaku liyisihlandlo sokucinga, ukuhlalutya kwezenzo zethu nokuziphatha, kunye nelinye ithuba lokufunda oko bacinga malunga ne-IT. Kwindlela yokudliwano-ndlebe kunye nokuhlalutya iincwadi ngokulala ngokukhawuleza, kwavela ezininzi iinkalo ezicacileyo. Ndikhuthaze kakhulu, ndimele ndithi.
Indlela yokuqala
Umbono ongowesilisa onomxholo othi "oomama-ngubani-owenzayo" - hayi. Ukunyaniseka. Ngaphezu koko, kubo bonke abaphenduliweyo, ipesenti enye kuphela yathetha ngabasetyhini abavumelekile ukuba balalane ngesondo ngokukhawuleza nabo, ngokungafanelekanga.
Indlela yesibini
Umbutho utshintsha, kwaye kunye nawo, imigaqo yokuhlola abafazi ngamadoda kunye noluntu ngokubanzi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuhlonipha kunye nesazela kusekho kwimoya, kodwa ukuhlambuluka kubonakaliswa, kodwa ukuphazamiseka nombuzo: Umdlalo wakhe uphela kuphi kwaye umdla kunye neemvakalelo ziqala ukuza kum? Kwaye akanako yini enye into ekutsalayo, ngaphandle kokungenakwenzeka?
Isiqubulo esithi "Ukuba oko kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, uya kucinga ukuba ndiyintombazana yobumnandi obulula" iba yintsomi. Ukuqonda kuluntu ukuba abafazi bafuna isondo kunye nokwandisa ukuzimela kwabasetyhini bavumela amadoda ukuba ayeke ukutshatyalaliswa kwezinto "zanikela ngokukhawuleza" ezingabonakali ukuhlonishwa kwamadoda. Ubuncinane malunga nalo uthetha idatha yeengxoxo zezenhlalakahle - i-70% yamadoda abaphenywayo ayiboni "ngesini" ngokwesondo sokuqala.
Kwinkoliso yamaninzi, ngenxa yokuvavanywa kakubi komfazi oye wavuma ukulala emva kweentlanganiso ezimbalwa emva kokwazisa, kukho ukungakhuselekanga okukhulu kwendoda ngaphakathi kuye. Kwaye kuphela. Ukuzithemba nokuzimela kwabantu abavandlakisayo bahlola isondo ngokukhawuleza njengobungqina bentsebenziswano, inqanaba lokuzithemba ngokwabo, kwakunye neqondo lokuzithemba ngokwabo.
Kakade ke, kukho ukungafani, kodwa kwindawo enjengezesondo, ukubonakaliswa kwengozi kunye nokuzithengela ngokwemvelo, imithetho engqongqo ayikwazi ukuba khona apha ngokusemthethweni.
Indlela yesithathu
Nangona oku akusiyo indlela, kodwa i-debunking enye inkolelo. I -sissis "indoda - umzingeli, ngokukhawuleza ukufumana into ayifunayo, uya kulahlekelwa ngumdla kwaye adibanise kwisihlwele" ilahlekelwe ukufaneleka kwayo ... "Ulwabelana ngesondo luyingxenye yoqhagamshelwano, enye indlela yokumazana," kusho abantu. (Ndicaphula enye yeengxelo).
Enye enye icatshulwa: "Ukuba isondo siyena kuphela injongo yokunxibelelana, ngoko ke, emva kobusuku bokuqala, iphosa lingalahleka." Ngaphandle koko, intombazana emva kwesi siganeko sisondela, ivula ubuso obutsha. "Kunoko, ulwalamano lunokutshintshwa indlela aziphatha ngayo emva kokwabelana ngesondo, umzekelo, ingxabano eyenziwe nguye egumbini lam, ukuqonda okubukhali kukugwema ngokwenene. "
Ngoko ke abo baye baqhelana nawe ngenxa yokuba uyamthanda, ukungena embhedeni wakho ngosuku lokuqala akuyiyo isizathu sokubhengeza umtshini kunye nokutshintshela okulungileyo kumgaqo wokuziphatha womakhi wobukhomanisi.
Ngokuphathelele loo madoda azimisela ukuba abe ngumgomo ophezulu wokukhohlisa amantombazana aze acinge ukuba le nto ibalulekileyo yoshishino lobomi ... Baya kunoma yintoni na, ngokukhawuleza okanye emva kokusalala, nokuba ngaba isondo senziwa ngokukhawuleza okanye emva kweminyaka emithathu emva kokuzama kwakhe ukukufikelela. Kunoko kungekudala kungekudala. Akunjalo ngenxa yokuba babenokukhathazeka ngawe - bayazikhathaza ngokwabo. Yaye ungaqapheli oku okuvumela kuphela i-kaleidoscope yeziganeko kunye namaqabane. Ngaba ngaba kukho nayiphi na ingxaki yokukhathazeka ngenxa yexesha elilodwa, ngesini esinye ngesini na? Kulo busuku (okanye isiqingatha seyure kwi-club's out-out) lakho liva elitsha kwaye, mhlawumbi, ngesondo esihle.
Nangona kunjalo, i-spoonful ye nyaniso kule ngxube yeengcamango malunga nokuba bhetele ngaphaya kwexesha kusekho. Ndiza kucaphula omnye wabaphenduli: "Ulwabelana ngesondo emva kwexesha elithile loqhagamshelwano nolwabelana ngesondo kunye nomntu ongaziwayo- izinto ezahlukeneyo, iimvakalelo, amava, njl. Ewe, isondo" kunye nomhlobo "singanika izinto ezahlukileyo." Singaqinisekisa le ngcamango kumava ethu, akunjalo?
Ukwabelana ngesondo kunye nalabo abaneemvakalelo ezithile kunye nesondo - izinto ezahlukeneyo! Ukongezelela, kukho enye into - kumntu oqhelekileyo, uxolela ngakumbi kwaye uhlolisise ngobumnene (kubandakanya ngesini, nokuziphatha ngaphambi nangemva). Kodwa! Ukumisa ukuphuhliswa kweemeko ukwenzela ukuba uyayixabisa ukucoceka kwakho kunye nentembeko - akufani nokokuphucula ixesha le-candy-buketny ngenxa yesini esahlukileyo ngokwahlukileyo, ngesondo kwinqanaba elithile lobuhlobo. Kuye kuwe. Kodwa ukhetho lwesibini kumadoda (kunye nabafazi abahlakaniphile) lubonakala linyanisekile. Ucocekileyo. Bhetele.
Umqhubi wesine
Ukuzimela nokuzithemba kunokusebenzisa imimangaliso nakwiimeko ezingathembekanga. Kuyavuma, kwenzeka ukuba ngezihloko ezingentla apha ucinga emva kokuba konke kwenzeke.
Imizuzu engama-15 emva kokuba ulwaphulo-mthetho lwentlobano entlokweni eqala intetho ephazamisayo: "Uza kucinga ntoni ngam?" Ngokukhawuleza nguye lowo okhunileyo kwaye uya kubiza? Uvakalelwa njani? Njalo. Mhlawumbi, oogqirha bezengqondo bathi iimeko ezifanelekileyo kule meko zendalo kwaye zizolile. Ngokusekelwe kwintlonelo, inhlonipho, kunye nokwamkelwa kwimeko njengoko kunjalo, ngaphandle komdlalo.
Cinga: yintoni eyenzekayo? Ubonise uvelwano kunye nomdla kumntu ngendlela ethile. Kwenzeka nje. Yayiyakho kunye nokukhetha kwakhe. Ngaba yinto eyoyikekayo kwaye iyantyantya?
Yaye ukhumbule iingcebiso zeengqondo zeengqondo - ziphathe ngokuzinzile, kodwa ngokwemvelo. Ukuba unomdla kakhulu ngombuzo wesimo sakhe sengqondo kunye nokuvavanya oko kwenzekayo - cacisa ngoko, kwaye ngobumnene kwaye unobtrusively. Umzekelo, ungabhala i-SMS njengale: "Sawubona, ndididekile ngenxa yokuba kwenzeke ngokukhawuleza, ndaza ndafika kwi-intanethi ukufunda iindidi kunye namaqaku alesi sihloko." Impendulo ye-sms, inokwenzeka, iya kucacisa amaninzi akho okungaqinisekiyo.
Kodwa iinzame zokuzibonakalisa ezingabonakaliyo, ukubethekisa: "Oo, andikaze ndivumele oko ngaphambili, o, oko ucinga ngoku kum" akunakwenzeka ukugcina umfanekiso wakho. Ngubani othanda ukuziva ngathi uyiphutha okanye uyaqonda ukuba ayamthembi?
Ngoko, kukuya kukwenza isigqibo sokuba nini. Ukuba sicinga ukuba imeko nganye iyimfuneko, kwaye umntu ngamnye uhlukile, kunengqiqo ukucinga ukuba akukho mithetho eqinile. Kodwa kukho intuition, ukuzithemba, ukunyaniseka phambi kwakho kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, ukhetho lwakho olukhethileyo. Ukuba ulwalamano ufuna into engaphezu kokusebenzisa iindlela ezichanekileyo ngenxa yemigqaliselo.