Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomntu ongathandekiyo? Emva koko, abafazi abangabonakaliyo bangakha ubudlelwane nendoda engathandwa, phantse ngaphandle kokuphuma kwabo. Uphantse - ulungile, hayi-kwaye ungenzi. Ngamanye amaxesha kukho imeko xa ibhinqa liqonda ukuba umngane wakhe ungumntu omuhle. Kodwa ngenxa yesizathu esithile, akukho ukuvumelanisa nothando kulwalamano. Ubuhlobo bubona bubhetele obubomi abanokuzithemba. Kwiimeko ezinzima kakhulu, ukuhlambalaza, ukucaphuka, ukuziva unetyala kwizinto ezenzekayo ziqale. Kwaye okubaluleke kakhulu - ukuqonda ukuba ubukho balo mntu bube bukhulu. Ngoko kutheni ungaqalanga ubomi ukususela ngokuguqula iphepha? Nazi izizathu ezimbalwa zokuba kutheni abafazi begcina ubudlelwane nabangathandwayo:
- Isizathu sokuqala nesiqhelekileyo sinokuzithemba. Lo mfazi unabaza ukuba uya kukwazi ukufumana umntu olungcono, kwaye kaninzi nakwikhono lokwakha ubudlelwane nomntu.
- Usizi. Ukungahambisani nxamnye nomlingane, ukunyamezela kwakhe ukuxolela ngokupheleleyo zonke izikhalazo zingabangela isizathu sengcinga, njengokuthi "Ulungile, kwaye ndibi kakhulu." Nangona kunjalo, umlinganisi onjalo ngokukhawuleza ixesha kunokubangela ukucasuka, ngakumbi kuba besetyhini banengqondo yokujonga umlingane (kubuthakathaka, kufuneka kukhuselwe).
- Ukungafuni okanye ukungakwazi ukulungisa iingxaki eziqokelela kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla. Xa uqhawula okanye ukuhlukana, ininzi inani lamabango omabini avela kwindawo yokuhlala kwiibango eziphathekayo kunye nokuhlulwa kwepropati.
- Ukungakhathaleli kwimbono yoluntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo igama elithi "lilolo" linxulumene negama elithi "lahleka". Ngako oko, akumangalisi ukuba ngokuqhelekileyo ubudlelwane buyaphula ngenxa yezimvo zabanye. Kule meko, kufuneka ukhethe okubaluleke ngakumbi-ukugcina uhlobo olusondeza intsapho okanye ukwakha ubuhlobo ukususela ekuqaleni.
- Abantwana. Abantwana banzima kakhulu ukuhlukana kwabazali. Kodwa ukukhula kwimeko iguqulwa - uhlaselo luqala, mhlawumbi kwakungafanelekanga ukutsala ixesha elide kwaye kufuneka lishiye ngoko. Ngoko ke, ukugcina ubudlelwane kuphela ngenxa yomntwana kuphutha. Abantwana banomuvo wokuthi into ephosakeleyo phakathi kwabazali babo, banomfanekiso ongafanelanga wobudlelwane phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi, kwaye kaninzi abantwana bayaziva benetyala malunga nendlela abazali babo baxhamla ngayo. Ngoko ke, ukuba ulwalamano lugcinwa kuphela kubantwana abaqhelekileyo, kuya kuba nokuchaneka ngakumbi ukuchazela kubo okanye ngoncedo lweengcali zengqondo ukuba ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nomntwana aluyi kutshintsha, umama nobaba nje abayi kuhlala besondela.
Ukuze uphendule umbuzo othi "yintoni oyenzayo ukuba indoda engathandeki isondele kuwe" inokuthi kuphela lona wesifazane ngokwakhe. Emva kwakho konke, akukho zicwangciso ezifanelekileyo kumntu wonke, ngaphandle kwendlela engakhethi yokucinga ngolu hlobo. Ukuphula ubudlelwane nomntu akulula, ngakumbi ukuba sele sele uhlala ndawonye ndawonye ixesha elide. Ukongezelela, isigqibo esinjalo asiqinisekisi ukuba ubomi bomntu obonwabileyo kwikamva. Kodwa ukuba ubuhlobo obunjalo bubhubhisa ibhinqa njengomntu, kwaye akukho nxu lumano phakathi kwamaqabane, isisombululo esihle kukuba ushiye kude kube ngumzuzu xa, ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza kunye nentukuthelo, akukho nto iya kuhlala. Ngaphandle koko, inkqubo esele ilukhuni kubo bobabini inokuthi ibe yinto eyenziwa ngumkhosi. Nangona kunjalo, ebomini bemihla ngemihla, ulwalamano olonwabileyo olungenalo uthando luqhelekile. Ukuhlonipha, ukuqonda kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kobambiswano kunye nokutsala kunye nobudlelwane bezocansi ukuqinisekiswa banamandla ngakumbi kunothando okanye ukuthanda.