Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana badinga icebiso lomzali, kodwa abanakukufumana ngenxa yokuqeshwa kwabantu abadala. Kamva baqala ukwesaba isohlwayo okanye ukuhlekwa usulu. Funda kabanzi malunga nale "nto engabonakaliyo" kodwa ingxaki enkulu kakhulu kuluntu olulandelayo.
Ingundoqo yobomi bodwa
Abantwana abasuka kwiintsana ezinqamle ukususela ebusaneni abanakukhala kwaye bangalili. Oku kungenxa yokuba akukho mntu uphendule ekukhaleni kwabo nasekulileni, kwaye asebenziswanga ukunika isibonakaliso malunga nokukhathazeka kwabo ngokwenyama nangokomzwelo. Umntwana onjalo ukususela kwiintsuku zokuqala zobomi uyasetyenziselwa ukuba yedwa, kwaye nangona kamva ekungeneni kwintsapho, kuya kuba nzima ukujamelana nale nto. Umntwana onjalo akayidingi ngokubanzi-akayiva into ekhethekileyo yothando lomnye, kuba akazange alithole. Yena ngokwakhe akazi ukuba njani, akafuni kwaye uyamoyika ukuthanda nokunyamekela kumntu.
Ukuba umntwana ukhula kwintsapho, ekuqaleni akayi kuvala yedwa, njengoko unina ephendula ngokukhala kwakhe, uyamondla, uyamncenga ukuba amthobe. Kodwa umntu omncinci ukhula ngokukhawuleza, kwaye inkunzi iqala ukunyamekela ingqalelo rhoqo, ukuba abazali bonke abayifuni kuye, ukuba kuye kaninzi banqatshelwe. Ekuqaleni kuphazamisa umntwana, ngoko uzama ukutsala umdla wabantwana ngokuziqhayisa okanye ukuthobela, ngoko ke, ukuba akukho mphumo, ukuziphatha okubi.
Ukuba sithetha ngexesha langaphambi kweenguqulelo, abantwana bavame ukuvalelwa yedwa, ukunqongophala komdla kunye nomdla, ngokugqithiseleyo kwiminyaka emi-5 ukuya kweye-6 (emva kwesikolo, isikolo, abahlobo abatsha, kwaye oku kuya kususa ubunzima beli ngxaki). Umdala lo mntwana uba, kancinane uqala ukuthembela kwiintsapho zakhe, kuba uyaqonda ukuba ukuba abanakuthandi okanye abathande ngokwaneleyo, abayi kunika icebo eliza kuhamba kakuhle. Ezi zizathu eziphambili zokhuseleko lwabantwana balo nyaka. Nangona kunjalo, kukho inxalenye ebalulekileyo kule nkqubo, kwaye iqulethwe kukuba umntwana uqala ukuzimela azimele kwaye uzimeleyo, ufuna ukucombulula iingxaki zakhe (nangona ukuzimela kungatholakala nakwezinye iindlela - xa umntwana eqhayisa ngokuthembela kwabazali). Ukuzimela ngokuzithobayo kunokubangela imiphumo emibi kakhulu yedwa - ukuxilongwa kweziyobisi kunye notywala. Ngokukhawuleza xa umntu ebonisa ingqalelo kumntwana omnye, unokuwa lula phantsi kwefuthe lomnye (mhlawumbi, ukuba lihle) kwaye aze abe yintlungu yonakaliso.
Sonke sifuna omnye nomnye
Isidingo sokuba oontanga banxibelelwano senziwa yiminyaka engama-4-5 ubudala. Abantu abaninzi abadala abanokungathembeki malunga nobuhlobo bomntwana: bathi le nto ayinzulu. Kwaye, ngokwenene, de malunga neminyaka engama-9 ubudala abantwana banomdla wokuba badlale kunye, bahlekise. Kodwa ebusheni, kunomnqweno wokuqinisekisa ubungqina babo, ukuziva igunya labo. Nge-12 nangaphezulu, umhlobo owaziyo ukuphulaphula, ukuqonda, ukucebisa, uba ngumhlobo wengqondo yengqondo. Ilingana nabahlobo obalulekileyo kunye neemfuneko xa bekhula. Ukungena okanye ukubonwa kwilayi-movie umzekelo omdala womntu omdala awunakwenzeka, abantu abadala abasenakuqondakala kwaye baxakekile, ngaphandle kokuba kukho umgama ekunxibelelaneni kwaye ngokusoloko kunengxaki yokuzithemba, kunye nabahlobo kunye nempumelelo yabo-apha balapha. Ngenxa yoko, uluvo lwabaontanga luzuza ubunzima obungenakulinganiswa kubantwana kunomntwana wezolo. Kuthetha okungakumbi kunokuba uluvo lwabantu abasondeleyo kunye nabanegunya kunazo zonke kubazali abaselula.
Kutheni abahlobo abaselula?
Amandla okuza kuhlangula (okokuqala), ukuhlaziywa, ulwazi kunye nokuphikisana kweminqweno, ingqondo, impumelelo yezemidlalo, umntu omdala kunye nomtsalane wokubonakala, ukuzimela, isibindi. Ukuba umhlobo ubonisa ukungalindelekanga, umntwana osemtsha unokukhawuleza ukufumana umphefumlo osondeleyo ukuze abulale isohlwayo lomntwana wakhe. Kule meko, ukuphazamiseka ngokupheleleyo kobudlelwane kunye nomhlobo owawungumhlobo "obalaseleyo" okanye ukuhlukana ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka. Ukuphakamisa ukuzithemba komntwana osemtsha, kungekudala uza kuyeka ukunyamekela kunye nokungaphumeleli kwezihlobo "zesifuba" zejobane (njengomthetho, umntwana osemvisweni ngokwakhe akaqondi ukukhula kwakhe). Kodwa umntwana onenkqantosi unokunyamezela ukuhleka kweengxaki "zabahlobo" ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlala yodwa.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafana bahlangana kunye neminqweno efanayo kunye nemibono ebomini, kodwa abatsha abahlukileyo kakhulu kubunjani nabo bangabahlobo. Ngethuba elifanayo, banokufuna omnye nomnye ezo mpawu (ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukuzithemba kunye nesigwebo) bona bona ngokwabo abanako ukuphuhlisa. Ukungabi nabantwana kwabahlobo kunokuthetha ngeengxaki ezinzulu zemvakalelo. Inokwenzeka ukuba, izizathu zokuzihlalisa azinjalo ukuba uyalahla isangqa esicetywayo soqhagamshelwano, kodwa ukuba abafana ngesizathu esinye okanye omnye bayamlahla umntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo abafuni ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nokuthetha kunye nabakhuselekanga, abanobomi, abathintekayo, abanobuhlungu okanye abancinci. Kwaye kunobundlobongela, ngokuzikhukhumeza okanye ukungakhathaleli kwimicimbi yeqela. Loo ntombazana, emva kokuba bonke behlala kwintlalo, baziva bekhuselekile kwaye banqatshelwe inkxaso, ngokukodwa njengabantwana abaselula abakwazi ukubonisa ubundlobongela kunye nobukrakra "kwi-outcast" abangenxalenye yenkampani yabo eyahlukileyo kubo. Oku kunokuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwe-adolescence, ubunjani bakhe nobomi kwikamva, ngenxa yokuphuhliswa kwezakhono zonxibelelwano kunye nokukwazi ukuhambelana nabantu, kunye neendlela ezahlukeneyo, kunye nokukwazi ukukhusela izimvo zabo kubalulekile kubo bonke abahlala phakathi kwabantu.